Matt @somethingquiteunique - Tumblr Blog

doofuses-deactivated20200101

are you dominant or submissive?

I’m tired

Some retail complaints from twitter this morning. I don’t think anyone can fully comprehend how stupid humans are until they work a retail or hospitality job.

starfire003

I’d like to add on the people who ask a question, get an answer they don’t like and ask the same question in a different way to get the response they want.

corisanna

I get stuff like this often enough at work, but that last one? There is one customer we have that does that so frequently and for so long (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY MINUTES of trying to get the answer she wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she isn’t present.

Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and try it again with the same employees the next day.

greatfay

Me: “For the drink, it’s [x amount] :)”

Customer: “I saw a sign that I get a free drink?”

Me: “For signing up for our rewards program, yes :)”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t have one of those”

Me: “Well if you sign up, you can get the free drink! :)”

Customer: “Eh I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “…” “…” “:)”

Customer: “I hate getting all those emails”

Me: “Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can show you how :)”

Customer: “No thanks, I don’t want an account”

Me: “Okay… well the drink will be [x amount] :)”

Customer: “I thought it was free?”

Me: “:)”

Me: “It’s free if you sign up for our rewards program :)”

Customer: “I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “Then the drink isn’t free :)”

Customer: “You can’t just give me the drink?”

Me: “No, I can’t unfortunately :)”

Customer: “Why not? It’s only [x amount]”

Me: “If that’s not a lot of money to you, why don’t you just pay for it? :)”

Customer: “This is shit customer service”

Me: “:)”

Customer: “This is highway robbery, squeezing every dime out of people, you should be ashamed of yourself—”

Me: “I don’t control the prices, I’m just a cashier :)“

Customer: “—making a fucking fuss over a damn drink and it’s not even a large—”

Me: “That’s not my decision, I’m just a cashier :)”

Customer: “—and you bet I won’t be coming back here again”

Me: “How unfortunate :)”

thekeybladeninja

I can feel the :) deep in my soul

squirenonny

I have never felt the :) so viscerally as in this post.

isa-ghost

I havent even worked in retail and I feel this

thedorseyshawexperience

harajunkie

joshpeck

catchymemes

ruinedchildhood

benz0-tube-deactivated20171223

anomannymous

What the 😱FUCK🤬 did you just fucking say about me? You little 🐽BÉTCH🐽? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals and I’ve been involved in 💄NUMEROUS💄 secret ¡¡¡RAIDS!!! on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am ✨TRAINED✨ in global warfare and am the top sniper in the entire U.S. Armed Forces. You are nothing to me but just another target 🎯. I will wipe you the 💔FUCK💔 out with precision the likes of which has ☝🏼NEVER☝🏼 been seen before - on this EARTH 🌍 . Mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me OVER THE INTERNET🖥?! Think again, fuckürr. As we speak, I am contacting ☎️ my secret network of spies🕵🏻‍♂️🕵🏽‍♀️ across the 🇺🇸U.S.A.🇺🇸 and your IP’s being traced right now. So you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The 🌪storm🌪 that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your 🤮 ~L A Y E F~ 😂. You’re fucking dead, kid! I can be anywhere📍, anytime ⏰, and I can kill you in over 💀700 ways💀, and that’s just with my bare 👐🏼hànds👐🏼. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat🚫🗡, but I have access to the entire 🍑ASS-enal🍑 of the United States Marine 🧟‍♂️CORPSE🧟‍♀️ and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little 💥SHÉT💥. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little 🙄~clever~🙄 comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held down your fucking tongue👅, but ya COULD’N😂, ya DID’N🤣, and now you’re paying the price! You god-damn 🤪idiot🤪! I will 💩SHIT💩 a fury all over you and you will 🤢DROWN🤢 in it! You’re fucking DEAD, kiddo! 💅🏼💋🔫💁🏼‍♀️