CORPSE OF SPRING.

heavy in your arms, a star in your hands.

[scholarking]

THERE'S A SILENCE THAT RESONATES WITH HER, leaving them both in its wake as she allows her thoughts to settle, linger in the past and, perhaps, even the present. so, when she finally speaks her question, he gives her a nod, features softening as he looks down at her. ❝ You can indeed. Whether you know to read or not, we all have a starting point where we must take our first steps. ❞ whether that be from a young age or well into one's adulthood, there should always been room for that much.

it reminds him of those who felt they did not deserve it. or, at the very least, those who do not even consider such an option due to their dealings in life, a pity for those such a thought dwells within. yet her admitting her faults does not make him sway from his initial thoughts. in the end, all deserved an education, hence the reason he had made this school in the first place, allowing them knowledge beyond just what the stars provide.

❝ Writing, even just a name, is a good start. You would be surprised how little you need to begin an education. If you are welcome to it, there are more than enough spots in Spirale Prime without you needing to pay if you do not have the means. ❞ he wouldn't say he would pay for it himself, but he certainly implies as much.

[sommiar]

the implication is not missed, but it nearly makes her want to ask if she looked like someone that could barely pay dust for a hairclip. then, she catches the honesty and her own laugh surprises her. sometimes she forgot how much of a village girl she could be, always getting surprised at city life. coughing up a little to her fist, she chooses to offer the same sincerity.

“I need to tell my sister first. She doesn't say it but I think she gets a little lonely sometimes. If I leave for hours, she will nod and then, pretend she didn't wait for me.” as the youngest, she played along, but even her puppy knew that Morgan genuinely cared. “She's really smart. A prodigy, you could say. Oh, but don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean she didn't work hard! She did!”

it is silly but she wants to make her proud. Artoria has never been able to hate the girl that could not finish her journey. “I don't think she would be against it.” far from it, Morgan would probably love the books. and... the homework. definitely, the homework. ugh, she could already see her confiscating her games until she was done for the day.

[truemastermind]

❝ Matters to me? ❞ he repeats, almost as if a fight or flight instinct kicks in. ❝ Well, it's like... not as if she's my type or anything. We've been through a lot? No. It's more like we worked together and... ❞ sorry, castoria. he can't word this right at all.

[sommiar]

“An acquaintance, then!” inexperienced as she is, even she can tell pressuring him will only make the conversation harder. so the closest solution is to play dumb and dumber. “Have you thought of checking on her? A message won't do it but it's still a good first step.”

[truemastermind]

❝ From the heart... ❞ great, something he had a notoriously awful time with when it came down to it. ❝ Even if it's a good place to start, it's still difficult to know how to start it in the first place. ❞

[sommiar]

maybe she should have started with more simple advice. “I see...” actually, she doesn't, but no one had ever said that she had breezed through most of her life. “Is this someone that matters to you?”

[truemastermind]

❝ When you upset someone in an argument, what's... the best way to apologize? ❞

[sommiar]

“Hmm... Apologize, you say? I'm not sure if this will help, but meaning it from the heart would be a good start.”

[scholarking]

IT'S LIKE THE SAME STORY TIME AND AGAIN, he's come to feel. those who know of schools yet have had no means to attend them. honestly, were it up to him, everyone would have access to something so simple as they deserve, though he knows that schools also need to be funded in some way. a shame, then, that so much funding gets funneled into other things than a basic education than natural genius.

❝ That is correct. I have recently opened one up here, ❞ he comments, arms crossing over his chest. he wonders, then, if she might decide to join one day herself. ❝ It stands that smaller villages would require more homeschooled means. But this day and age has changed quite a bit. What is stopping you now from attending of your own accord with the options out there? ❞

[sommiar]

what is stopping her? everything. nothing. both answers carry a weight that she doubts will ever leave, less from stubbornness and more of self-imposed need to not forget what it meant to have anything precious disappear. she can still remember her smaller hands attempting desperately to cling to her wooden staff before it was snatched away.

she never apologized to Merlin for not saying goodbye. but she suspects that Oberon would have brushed it off with that smile of his, as if he did not care. that was fine, it had never been their habit to tell each other certain truths directly.

“Can I really go to school? I only know how to read...” ignoring her talent with bomb making aside, she is unsure lockpicking can help in any other studies. her eyebrows furrow in contemplation. “I suppose I can write my name, too. But you need more than that, right?”

[sommiar]

for an instant, her whole body comes to a halt when her eyes fall casually from the tiny rafts floating on the river to a color that she associates with blood. even when her heart wants to believe it, Cnoc na Riabh had never cut off her hair. the shade of pink from the stranger is similar, but there is nothing that tells her that her best friend has returned.

and if she were to look upon it more closely, there was no need for her eyes to tell that the other was unfamiliar with the celebration. “Is this your first time here?”

@clematised — candle lighting for the lost

[sommiar]

in truth, she wishes Merlin were here to hear about how she has grown since his absence. those childhood days with her mentor assigning what she had to study before the next session had been everything to a village girl. it made her miss what it was like to have that guidance. and though, Ritsuka had told her so much about Pan-Human History, it was an entirely different experience to discover it for herself.

“A school… I have heard about them! A place of learning, right?” her smile is wide as a small laugh follows. “I never went one of those but my village was really small. I don't think they could have afforded it.”

@scholarking

[animepopheart]

★ 【凫一】 「 アルトリア・キャスター 」 ✔ republished w/permission ☆ follow btt’s fanart twitch stream!

[lightoball]

her smile wasn't like lots of others that he saw — it didn't feel full. it was more like she was sad, but still smiling, so it confused him. maybe she was disappointed, so he wanted to help change that, if he could.

ϟ we could look for it together. things change but other things stay the same. that bracelet could still be here — so we can find it and you can see it again. ϟ chances were it was a tall order, and he understood how easy it was to think that a chance that might be passed was definitely gone so dodge some disappointment. but it could be waiting for her, and the home she could give it.

so it was worth trying, it might make her smile fuller and help her feel better. ϟ if we can't find it, we can go get some sweets to make up for it. ϟ

[sommiar]

everything changes, and nothing stays the same.

Artoria has always quite good at pretending to not see what is going on. she is not her older sister; the gap in maturity between them is obvious, especially when it comes to matters that remain unspoken. she does her best to maintain a smile even when her insides are screaming in agony, and if her sadness threatens to become visible, she puts double the effort, until no one can tell how her heart wants to cry. it is a curse, as well as a gift.

her heart will never be fully bare, but the mention of sweets brings a more sincere touch to her little smile. her eyes soften up, and it is like a breeze of spring takes her melancholy away. “I’d like that. There is a small café I like to visit.” she still needs to do something before the search begins, or it is given up after. village girl or not, she had been taught some manners. “What's your name?”

[seithrveined]

⠀⠀⠀⠀"It wasn't exactly subtle, ya know." It didn't really need a detective to put the pieces together— but bullying her too hard over it would just be overkill. "If that's what ya want, then just ask for it— I'd only judge you... a little bit." Maybe a lot.

[sommiar]

Ector flashes through her mind, and suddenly, Artoria is the village girl again — for a half-remembered dream, long gone before the morning lark sings tomorrow. she cannot help it; not when it hits too close to something that will never return. “... Huh. You are a kind person, aren’t you?”

[caliburn]

Lily was no stranger to departures and the manners in which they varied. when eyes strikingly similar to her own meet their shining reflection, the young knight found herself momentarily transfixed. Knowing well the likelihood of the figure being her imagination low, to see her again suddenly after the stretch of time since last, Lily's body stumbled to react as normal until jolted by the girl's voice.

"—Caster. When did you come back?" Acutely aware of how her mouth hung open, she was quick to rectify the look and that aided in reconnecting wires still strewn, eyes darting about the scene. "Your hat— it went floating off, we should find it before someone tramples it".

[sommiar]

when did she come back? the question brings her to a pause, halting any thoughts that had been wandering before. she has no idea, honestly. everything has felt identical except for a few differences here and there, and still, the growing sense of unease since she woke up in her room has not left her. it is deep in her bones, a visceral ache, a voice telling her mockingly with a playful tilt she is ignoring everything on purpose.

her imagination has always been cruel, it still has nothing to compare with reality.

“A few days ago?” the hesitation is half-genuine, instinctive in the old habit of never letting anyone read what goes underneath the surface. it is gone when Lily brings up her hat, her eyes immediately moving around to search for it. “Ah! It did... Did you see where it went?”

[seithrveined]

⠀⠀⠀⠀"Hungry enough, eh?" He's giving her a look of suspicion for the next pause, as if he's evaluating her whether she likes it or not. ... Especially if not. "... Were you hungry enough for a tower cake, all for yourself? ... Is that what you want right now?"

[sommiar]

ah. the implication hangs in the air in a manner she is intimately familiar with, and the shame is palpable in her bones. she wants to protest, to cover for the village girl but she has never been good at denying what happened in her heart. “Ahahaha… Is it that obvious?”

[sommiar]

“Hmph!” she does not like the current situation but contrary to how her small huff sounded, she knew she had to be careful. “It’s fine, I still have some of my reserves.” but she knows those will run out if she’s greedy. and greed has always punished her.

[hopeled-archive]

" I know that." she saw it every time he looked at her in those quiet, private moments or when sharing a fleeting glance during the busy hours of the cafe. before, it was welcomed. now, it burns. " I think he knows something is up. Maybe he has a suspicion that I finally found out what it was that he was hiding from me. " the reason why he kept avoiding her that day on the Storm Border, always fleeing before she could turn the corner. she just found out too late.

how ironic. in some ways, Saber was right with her suspicions but for all the wrong reasons.

" He just won't bring it up right now." wait and hope, he always says, but she can find nothing to hope for in this wait. and that's if he'll ever catch up to her. " It's been almost nine months since it happened. You know how it works here– what if he never gets those memories? I won't force what happened on him when he hasn't even done anything." yet, goes unsaid.

[sommiar]

Artoria's first reaction is not refusal, and it is not disgust. it’s sadness that she struggles her lips to not fall down, leaving her with an expression that girl had been painfully used to, as if she tried to smile but the sorrow in her eyes was too genuine to muster anything but sympathy.

in a moment like this, she understood why Morgan had abandoned her mission, why Oberon had been repulsed from birth, why she had to be born to put an end to what had been left incomplete.

her role is to treat each history with the same equal indifference, but if she had burned herself into a sword, she knows her heart would have disappeared. Artoria had been right in that the planet lacked any inherent sense of warmth, if everything had gone according to plan what would have emerged would’ve been a weapon. and weapons have no need for emotions or mercy, they are meant to clean up the mess brought on their doorstep.

“The Stars’ rarely care about such things,” she repeats what Ritsuka told her years ago. it all been much simpler, when their positions were still fresh from the many truths that came soon after. “Ignorance is a bliss... for neither of you is blind.” who is it for this hiding? is it for anyone but their own heart?

[hopeled-archive]

" I can't." no time is taken to think or even consider what was said. " So much happened. It's so much more than just a sacrifice." and deep down, a part of her hated that it was even necessary. just another of the many sacrifices needed to ensure humanity could be saved. " He's.....the Avengers are gone, Artoria. All of them. They can't exist to help humanity anymore." if she listened close enough, that anger was peeking through.

" Edmond is here but he isn't here with me. Not like before." her soul lacked that smoldering flame that warmed even the darkest shadows. her dreams were peaceful, but empty. " How am I supposed to tell him that he's gone? That he left? "

[sommiar]

there is a sensation she has not felt in years, not this her. not the guardian of the holy sword, but the village girl had acutely refused to allow anyone see her disgust, her contempt towards what awaited her. when it comes to all the feelings that girl gave her, that brought her into existence, Artoria had focused on how much she loved her other self. hearing Ritsuka talk of what she’s intimately familiar gives her a bitter taste in her mouth.

how is anyone supposed to confront what is inevitable? she, no, that girl had attempted to stop another girl’s fate and failed, blaming her older sister for throwing away her duty. even now, Artoria has no idea if she should acknowledge those feelings when she doesn’t want to have grudges.

“He looks at you like you are his destiny,” she musters. that is why she is so angry on Ritsuka’s behalf, because the world asks so much from her without recompense. “Telling him would be the kinder choice… but it would be cruel.”

[hopeled-archive]

shit. she had forgotten how perceptive caster could be. they were far too alike in a way that almost bordered on uncomfortable, as if staring in a mirror. " It's.....not what you think." a shake of her head followed by a sigh. " A lot happened and I just. Haven't told him yet. Can't tell him yet I should say."

[sommiar]

does it matter what she thinks? her eyes meet Ritsuka’s with alarming precision, before looking away. the truth is always hard to swallow, and she hasn’t come that far from the one wish she had made after Britain had disappeared: her heart is still too immature to accept every lie. “Will you tell him?” that girl had suspected about her mentor’s identity near the end, but Artoria is who learned it. “Or, will you wait until he learns of his own volition?”

[hopeled-archive]

yeah, there's practically a glowing neon sign right about the caster's head blinking with the name of a certain avenger. " There's been no conflict between me and the Count lately."

[sommiar]

she opens her mouth before closing it suddenly. the grimace doesn't come, but it is a close call and the next words are followed after a long pause. “Lately?” then, her voice falls into a genuine concerned tone. “Ritsuka?”