The Batfam is in the process of moving some things around in the Batcave, and of course, they're really heavy. All of them are out of breath, and this close to just giving up and storming upstairs
"Bruce... this is... fucking torture..." Duke huffs, body strewn out over and unmoving, Steph face down on the ground. "You're gonna kill me... you'll kill all of us..."
Bruce lets out his own huff, arms burning as he fans an overheated Damian lying limp in his lap. It's a testament to how bad things are going if Damian has given up on maintaining his dignity and allows himself to be coddled.
"Wait..." Dick looks up from the ground. "Why... why don't we call Clark?"
Bruce winces, looking away from all the expectant gazes of his children. "Can't." He bites out, hoping they'll drop it. They don't.
"Can't or won't?" Jason narrows his eyes suspiciously.
Bruce groans. "Nosey ass kids. Why did I decide to have so many damn kids?"
"Yes, yes, regret comes in late in life." Cass agrees, scooting over and laying her head on his shoulder. "Why can't we call Clark? He always comes when you call."
Bruce lets out another grumble.
"Dad." Tim deadpans, peeling his back off the floor and sitting up. "In words we can all hear, please?"
"He's mad at me." Bruce rolls his eyes. "It's only cause he's being a little bitch." Bruce huffed before grimacing. "Don't repeat that, Habibi."
"Too late." Damian mumbles, eyes still closed.
"Focus, B man, what did you do that made Superman mad at you?" Duke asked, rolling onto the floor as Stephanie pushed him off to grab her water bottle.
"It can't be anything serious since you're not brooding around the house and shit." Jason narrows his eyes further. Actually, his eyes are closed. He just closed his eyes and face-planted onto the chair he was leaning against.
“You're right, it’s fuckin’ stupid.”
“Bruce.” Stephanie deadpanned, gesturing for him to just get on with it.
Bruce hummed and let out a soft sigh. "I accidentally called Oliver my best friend. We've literally known each other since we were kids, and it was just a slip of the tongue."
Cass turned her head and blinked at him. "That's it?"
"Told you it was stupid."
"Oh my gosh, I forgot how possessive he can get over that title." Dick groaned, massaging his temples. "You guys get into the dumbest arguments."
"So he's just being petty then?" Tim hummed.
A gust of wind blew through the cave, giving the bats a nice breeze on their sweaty skin. "I'm not being petty! It's simply a coincidence! I don't even care that much!" Superman, in the flesh, floated a few feet off the ground in his civilian clothing, arms crossed over his chest.
"... you were just listening in to our conversation?"
Clark floated backwards, away from Stephanie, who was very clearly giving off danger vibes. "I just... I just happened to tune in when ya'll were slandering me."
"Baba." Damian tugged on Bruce's sleeve. "We need to get the kryptonite."
"Now that you're fucking here, you can move all this shit by yourself, Superman," Jason grunted, slowly dragging himself off the floor and heading to the elevator, prompting the rest of the batkids to follow suit, grumbling under their breath and cursing out Clark.
"B! You're not actually gonna leave me here all alone to move this stuff! Are you?"Clark pouted, making puppy dog eyes as he stared down at Bruce.
Unfortunately for him, Bruce was basically immune, and too tired from moving things to show sympathy.
Still holding his youngest as he pushed himself off the floor, he gave Clark a very 'Bruce trying to be nice during a meeting, but he actually lost his patience a long time ago.' smile and gave him a small pat on the shoulder. "I thought you said you weren't petty and it didn't affect you, Superman? Help a best friend out, hm?"
Clark simply pouted as he watched all of the Batfamily abandon him in the cave to move the heavy machinery, which he could easily move in half a second, feeling utterly betrayed.
