Danny: Good evening, sir.
Bruce: Who are you?
Danny: I'm the replacement butler filling in for Mr. Pennyworth. While he's away I shall care for your every need.
Bruce: Alfred didn’t tell me about a replacement.
Danny: Hmm. His emails might have gotten crossed-
Bruce: Where is Alfred?! What have you done to him?!
Danny: Sir, please calm down. You'll wake the children-
Damian: INTRUDER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO PENNYWORTH!
Danny: I-
Damian: ATTACK! IN THE NAME OF PENNYWORTH!
Wayne kids: *Leaping from the shadows like hissing demons*
Danny: WHAT IN DANTE'S INFERNO!?
Bruce: You have nowhere to run. Tell us what you've done to Alfred
Danny: I told you! He hired me as his replacement - AGHHHHH THE LITTLE ONE'S JAW LOCK ON MY LEG! LET GO!
Damian: *Bites harder while hissing*
Hours later with Danny hogtied in a broom closet:
Bruce: So.....Alfred left me a voicemail I missed. That man in the closet is a civilian replacement that was only meant to be here for one weekend. This was his final assignment before graduating butler school.
Tim: Welp, Damian bite off a good chunk of his leg skin for nothing.
Damian:It was not for nothing. Now he knows not to be a butler. I save his career and his future.
Duke: Are we going to let him out now or?
Bruce: Not until the memory wipe machine finishes warming up.
Alfred: Master Bruce. Young Masters. Why did a lawyer deliver a lawsuit from young Daniel Nightingale for ‘physical assault’ and ‘Attempted Murder’ as soon as I came home from my trip?
Bruce: …
Damian: …
Duke: …
Dick: …
Tim: …
Steph: …
Tim: I swear the memory wipe worked. We tested it on Jason.
Jason: You wHAT?!










