Sonic: Oh, careful, here comes Mr. Polite himself…
Robotnik: What do you mean by that, you rat?
Shadow: That your vocabulary consists mostly of insults.
Robotnik: What are you talking about, you failed experiment piece of crap?! When have I ever disrespected anyone? Name one single time!
FLASHBACKS
1.
Robotnik: Let me explain it to you. You’re dumb, I’m smart. You have power, I steal it. You now have to fix the mess I made using that stolen power, and I step aside while plotting how to ruin your day tomorrow. You think, "what a bastard the fat guy is," and I tell you, "exactly," because it was embarrassing how long it was taking you to understand the dynamic, Shadow.
2.
[Shadow is lying on a stretcher, struggling to breathe.]
Robotnik: Good news.
Sonic: Can you help him?
Robotnik: No, I have no bloody idea how this guy works.
Sonic: Then what’s the good news?!
Robotnik: Well, didn’t he have a death wish? Congratulations, Shadow, today your dreams will come true.
3.
[Rouge and Sonic gift their Chao to Shadow.]
Rouge: Shadoooow, look what we got for you~
Shadow: Ugh, I told you I don’t want-- Aw, it looked at me. It’s mine now. [takes the Chao and pets it.]
Robotnik [passes by, freezes when he sees the Chao]: Holy crap, it’s multiplying!
[Eggman throws a can at the Chao, sending it flying and bouncing from the impact. Shadow yelps and goes to see if it's okay]
Robotnik: You're welcome! And you owe me a soda!
4.
Robotnik: Good morning, Commander Towers. What do you need me for? To tell you the time? Let me see… Well, look for yourself. Yes, sir, a solid gold watch. Earned dishonorably, unlike you, who hires zoo animals to avoid paying the bare minimum a human would charge.
Rouge [frowning alongside Shadow]: Eggman, we’re right here.
Robotnik: And the peanuts they pay you with are over there. [Laughs in their faces.]
5.
[Shadow is collecting signatures. Eggman approaches angrily, grabs the papers, and tears them to pieces.]
Robotnik: You! Traitor! Collecting signatures to get me kicked off the island, huh?! You ungrateful wretch! If it weren’t for me, you’d still be a frozen popsicle!
Shadow: …Ivo, first of all, you did that for yourself, like everything else. Maybe that’s why they want you gone. And second, this isn’t the petition to kick you out. I was collecting signatures for a charity event to help the children’s hospital.
Robotnik: Oh… well, sorry, I didn’t realize you were on one of your karma-burning stupid stuff. I knew that even with our differences, you wouldn’t participate in that.
Shadow [hands over some laminated pages]: Oh, no, I did participate. Here are all the signatures to officially kick you out.
Robotnik: What?! [takes the pages and starts hitting Shadow in the face with the laminated papers like a fan.]: I curse the hour, minute, second, and millisecond my grandfather thought it’d be a good idea to teach you how to speak and write!!!!!
6.
Sonic: No way, I’m not doing anything with this guy. I bet I won’t even take a single step before he throws me down the stairs.
Robotnik: Hey, that’s offensive, Sonic. This is a mess that affects all of us. I’ve got robots and a daughter waiting for me at home, you know?
Sonic: Well, yeah, but…
Robotnik: But what? So much talk, so little action. You love saying everyone deserves a chance to get applause, but when it really matters…
Sonic: Alright, you’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s go--
[Sonic starts going down the stairs. Robotnik shoves him, and Sonic tumbles down while Robotnik laughs hysterically, to the point of tears].
Robotnik: Hahaha! Oh my God! [to the rest of the group]: I swear on everything, I meant it. I wasn’t going to do it! But he looked at me with that dumb innocent face, and I couldn’t resist! Hahahahaha!!!!
PRESENT
Robotnik: …I said one time. How are you supposed to understand my sense of humor when you can’t even understand a simple question? I feel so intellectually lonely…