I owe all of you an apology. You tried to warn me. You tried to tell me what was going on.
To those who are unaware, I was previously friends with someone under many aliases, but you might know them best under hollyleaf-hates-fantis, or toffee/toffeebun. I knew them as Bree.
They had posted some ideas that were founded primarily on a desperate and concerning desire to have trauma they could use to justify said ideas. They frequently told me they wished they had my trauma, and since then, they have literally stolen others' traumas, claiming them as their own, proven as lies in how many times their stories would change. Normally, I might dismiss it as a trauma response, but they specifically told me and my partner over and over and over again how much they wished they had trauma, only to suddenly have it.
As if these experiences haven't shattered our lives and identities and all that we are. As if it's just some bragging rights. As if it's not something to feel constant and debilitating shame over.
But I thought I had to be a good friend. Then they tried to get between myself and my partner, my best friend of fifteen years and someone I trust with my entire being. She began to try to convince me of gaslighting, manipulation, and abuse on my partner's half, and it has left lasting scars on us both, though our relationship is still as strong as ever.
Google defines gaslighting as "manipulating (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity." When I tried to take a step back in our friendship, they reacted violently, sending me over a dozen emails, messages, and highly targeted vent art disgracing and desecrating my relationship. They continued to stress to me that I didn't know what I was doing, that I was being manipulated, that I wasn't speaking my own mind and that my own views were invalid, that love kills people, threatening me with suicide if I did not come back. And somehow, they do not see this for the blatant and deeply disturbing manipulation tactics they are.
I can't understand how I never saw it. I just wanted to support someone who had helped me at times, despite disagreeing on many stances. I felt as though I owed them something, and they used that to twist the knife to drag me back in.
Not that there were no mistakes on my part during this process. I was stupid in my own responses, and they quickly twisted it against us as a heinous crime while ignoring all the crap they'd sent during the months after I cut off contact, SPECIFICALLY LEAVING THEM IN MY ONEDRIVE SO I WOULD SEE THEM.
One of the major reasons I've been so inactive over the last few months is due to the anxiety and paranoia over them stalking my every move. I have blocked them everywhere I can, but I suspect they will persist. They have backed me into a corner, and it is long past time for me to do something about it. I need to stand up to them and warn others of their toxic behaviors. And most importantly, apologize for ignoring them in the past.
I won't lie that my own incapacity to set healthy boundaries similarly caused many issues in our friendship. But they also rarely gave me and my partner much option in hearing them invalidate our traumas to validate their own, as well as pushing story plots that were highly triggering and unnerving even after we asked them to stop.
You guys were right from the beginning, and my attempts to defend them are deplorable. I thought everyone was being too harsh on them.
And then their "mother" contacted me after watching my blog silently for four months, claiming Bree never meant their words romantically to try to break up my relationship when I have stuff like this that they shoved in my face for literal months.
Even now, they continue to send me messages denying their actions and blaming myself and my partner for everything wrong that's happened, constantly pushing this villainizing narrative. I'm tired of it all.
I truly hope Bree's life and behaviors improve in the future and they can attain happiness. But as long as they weaponize friends against themselves and each other, others should be made aware of them and to be careful out there. Iâm afraid I have to suggest not interacting with them; donât send hate, it will just fuel their idea they are merely a victim in all this.
