Letters and Bracelets - A Bungo Stray Dogs Fanfic
Pairing - Chuuya Nakahara/Atsushi Nakajima
Osamu snorted, whined and rolled eyes, while sincerely refusing to believe that his subordinate has such a bad taste in people - well, including the fact Atsushi was pretty close to him, there was no doubt. "Sorry, Dazai-san, - Nakajima awkwardly smiled and scratched back of his head. - I... Fell in love". There was nothing left for Osamu to do but courageously be silent, ignoring the presence of the ginger shorty in the Agency, and break loose on Kunikida, annoying him three times more often than usual, but including the fact how tense the work got just before the New Year, Doppo wasn't just unsatisfied - he was in rage. That's why Dazai was beaten up three times more often. But even this was better for him, than Atsushi's and Chuuya's little world - sugary-vanilla, with milk rivers and gingerbread shores.
When Nakahara got his deserved vacation, he started visiting a lot more often, than usual. Sometimes he got drinks for all of the detective company, except for Dazai, of course; sometimes he visited just to to drag Nakajima off behind the folding screen, to whisper about stuff on couches in solitude; or he took Atsushi to the cafe on the first floor for lunch break, but always paid for both of them, not letting Nakajima even look at the cheque. Shortly speaking, Chuuya tried to get every single piece of his beloved one's free time, and even though sometimes was distracting, Atsushi was... Happy.
Quite often Nakahara arrived in the end of the working day, and two of them went away under Dazai's displeased look, which Chuuya tried to not notice very hardly, and got away to the town, walking through snow-covered alleys, along narrow cozy streets with colorful garlands and round lanterns hanging over their heads. Nakahara had this weird will to always buy something for Nakajima, doesn't matter what - for example, a key chain, a plushie or some clothes - in any case the tiger-boy had an awkward feeling, but refusing these gifts would be impolite. When he confessed about this, Chuuya just thought about how cute he was and said, that he does not mind the money for him at all, but Atsushi made him promise he'll calm down a bit.
- How would you like to celebrate the New Year? - Nakahara asked, pulling up his scarf, and looking into Nakajima's face - red cheeks and red nose, shiny eyes, filled with the light of life. Yes. That's what he was in love with.
- I... Don't even know, - Atsushi babbled with an unsure smile and wiped the snow off his shoulder, snuggling up closer to Chuuya. - People in the Agency were talking about a corporate party, but I don't think they'll be holding it on the New Year's night. I am sure, somebody would want to celebrate it with their family - like Kenji, for example...
Nakahara bit his lip, hesitating to ask, but he wanted, he wanted to offer it so much, so he couldn't hold himself and blurted out:
- Then... How about spending it with me?
Chuuya hid his glowing look so that Nakajima doesn't see how exciting it was for him to talk about it, but he didn't care and smiled happily, going for a hug, but immediately pulling away - after all, this was so... confusing.
- Why not? - Atsushi responded, putting his head on his shoulders, but starting panically waving hands: - N-no, not like that, I'd want it! Really want it!! - Nakajima promptly muttered, and Nakahara laughed kindly, soothingly patting him on the shoulder.
- Heh... Personally, I think it would be great to book a room at the hotel, or maybe a house on the outskirts of the city?..- Chuuya thoughtfully said, starting a new wave of confusion inside Nakajima, who mumbled:
- Uhm... Chuuya, isn't it gonna be a bit expensive?
But such things never stopped Chuuya.
Despite all of the talks and common sense, which seemed so only for Atsushi, in the end Nakahara rented them a two-floored villa and took the boy there as soon as his vacation started - two days before New Year. The place was amazing, beaming with holiday-like coziness: along the perimeter of the house there were garlands, beaming with gold, twinkling stars and snowflakes, there was a spruce wreath, and just above the threshold - omela, and Chuuya didn't miss the opportunity to kiss Nakajima's cheeks, tightly holding his hands.Inside was no less beautiful - nice warm colors, high ceilings, a fireplace with red socks, tinsel and glass balls, but the most prominent was the Christmas tree, gleaming with hundreds of lights. The place was great. Chuuya was great.
But at the same time Atsushi had a feeling that he doesn't deserve this.
He couldn't give anything in exchange, he was sure, that Chuuya would get him a gift which can't compare to his - moreover, Nakajima didn't have enough time to even think about it, to buy something - even more so; that's why he felt guilty. Firstly Chuuya didn't notice his depressed mood, but when he noticed, understood it is so because of him, and so he fell into the sadness pit too. He just wanted to please Atsushi. He just wanted Atsushi to be happy with him, here, at the place he had never been to, experiencing feelings that he never experienced. Nakajima bit his lips in confusion, listening to his beloved one's honest excuses, and then he told about his worries. Nakahara made them disappear one by one. Then they hugged, laughing happily, and after that, when Chuuya made them some mulled wine, they sat together in front of the fireplace. Swaying in a hug to quiet music, drinking spiced hot drink, rub noses, gently smiling - if somebody told him he's going to spend his holidays like this a year back, he probably wouldn't believe them. But despite this... right now he was happy.
Only a half of the day was left until the New Year. And even if Nakajima couldn't buy anything, he could make it him himself - so that's why he locked himself up in a room, sometimes coming out just to grab some food or tea.
Atsushi was thinking a lot, keeping his eyes on the blank sheets for a long time, he wrote, tore, and started again several times - the correct thoughts just didn't want to come to his head, but he needed to...to tell how important Nakahara became for him. Atsushi was a bit nervous, as he didn't have a pretty envelope for this letter, was nervous if the white sheet of paper would look soulless, and his writing would look too bad - since the orphanage times he still hasn't made it better... He was ashamed and felt awkward, but he finished and neatly folded it, and drew black hats and little tigers on the other side, repeating to himself how childish it looked.
But Nakajima was satisfied with his work. A bit nervous, but satisfied.
Their New Year - great tasty food, made by Chuuya, sparkling champagne, warm hugs and fireworks, which Nakahara launched with unstoppable fun and loud shouting, thank God nobody could hear them. Without the loud bells, without going to the church and without the traditional games, actually, they didn't need that - their hearts were filled with happiness, bright fire was burning in the quivering souls, and lazy stretching under the kotatsu* wasn't worse in any way.
- Oh, Atsushi-kun... The gift, - Nakahara awkwardly smiled, getting something out of his back pocket.
- Please don't say it's something expensive, I'll die of embarrassment! - Atsushi squeezed his head in his shoulders holding his hands between the knees, and Chuuya, hiding something that he got out, laughed warmly.
- Firstly, we talked about it already, - he said, taking Atsushi's hand into his. - And secondly - no, it's not expensive - and he put a braided cord, clasped it, making sure he picked the correct size. - I... made it myself, - Nakahara lowered his head and smiled. - I was thinking about the gift for a long time... Starting with great alcohol, ending with a flat next to mine. But you'd not be interested in the first, and the second would make you sad, because, you know, too expensive.
- C-chuuya... - Atsushi held his fists closely to chest, nervously looking at the bracelet he got.
- I was thinking about a hat, about a coat, about a smoking... Even about a ring, - Nakahara smirked, looking up at Nakajima. - But all those things are not... sincere enough. That's why I started making this kumihimo** and made a gift for you by myself. Sounds... So childish, - and Chuuya started laughing, covering his face, but Atsushi took his hand into his and gently kissed the knuckles.
- Thank you. The bracelet is great, - "Just like you", - a thought flew through in his mind, but he didn't have enough courage to say it outloud. - And it... Is important. Right here. - Nakajima placed Chuuya's hand on his chest, where his tender heart beat fiercely, and Nakahara hugged his darling, dragging him back under the kotatsu. - Ah, yes, I have a gift for you too! - remembered Atsushi. - Wait a second.
He jumped out of his warm spot and ran away to the second floor, to the bedroom, where he had left his letter. When he returned, he sat next to Nakahara and and stretched out the paper rectangle with his trembling hands. Chuuya smiled inappropriately wide, and Nakajima blushed, biting his lips.
- Looks like you even overdone it with the "childishness", - Chuuya smirked, looking at the cute drawings, but when he felt it could offend Atsushi, he hurried up to apologize - I'm not intending to shame you. It just looks really cute.
- W-wait, are you going to read it now? - Nakajima asked, when Nakahara started to unfold the letter and caught a puzzled look on himself.
- It's just... Whatever. If you want to, go on then.
Chuuya could understand him - maybe, it's very confusing, when somebody reads the thoughts you put on a piece of paper right in front of you, but the man was too curious, that's why he carefully unfolded it and started looking through the neat lines of handwritten kanji.
"My beloved Nakahara Chuuya,
I am very happy to spend my time with you. Every day, which I spend with you, every minute, every second fills my heart with the most sincere joy, which you can feel only by being with the closest person.
We don't know each other for so long, and we have been dating even less, but you became the most important person for me. Your attention, your care, your love make me feel the happiest human on this planet - and even though we work in the organizations, which still haven't destroyed each other only because of the fragile truce, it does not prevent us from loving each other no matter what.
It's a bit awkward to write about such stuff. When you're unsure, a bit scared, confused... it's very scary to say something wrong and trip, but I know, you will catch me, so that's why I'm ready to entrust yourself to your hands. You filled my life with light and eclipsed the horrors of my past. I never knew love nor tenderness, but you taught me, and I am thankful to you, and I will try so hard to not lose you.
I love you with my soul and body. And I hope you'll love me the same.
Nakahara covered his mouth with his palm, and, it seemed like his temperature raised because of what he felt while reading this letter. Atsushi was just keeping quiet, dying of embarrassment, and Chuuya, finally looked up.
- Atsushi-kun... - he breathed out, letting go of the letter and tightly hugging the boy. - Atsushi, I love you so much! And I will! I promise I will!
Nakajima blushed again and hugged him too.
Intending never to let go.
Kotatsu* - a low, wooden table frame covered by a futon, or heavy blanket, upon which a table top sits.
Kumihimo** - a Japanese form of braid-making. Cords and ribbons are made by interlacing strands. Kumi himo is Japanese for "gathered threads".
Your humble translator @sonichico
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