Woah! I know this is super abrupt, but here is the final part (at least for me) of Impaired. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me though it. You’re all truly amazing. I’ve been through hell recently, which is why I’m not as active. This might be my last piece of writing for a while. Forgive me if there are any mistakes. Also, if anyone wants to take on Impaired, I have so many ideas for future parts. I may or may not have planned the rest of the series. I just can’t write it right now. Message me if you’re interested. Without further ado, here’s Impaired part 3!
Here are parts one and two if you haven’t read them yet!
Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader
You awoke to a gentle knocking on the guest bedroom door.
“Come in,” you mumbled, groaning when your head pounded and bringing your hands to your temples.
The door creaked open and Rafael walked in, holding two steaming mugs of what you assumed to be coffee. As you moved to sit up, you saw he was still wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. He must’ve woken up not too long ago.
“Thank you,” you spoke softly, accepting the mug he handed to you and patting the bed for him to sit on. He nodded and sat down by your outstretched legs.
“Welcome. How are you feeling?” He took a gentle sip from his mug, prompting you to do the same.
“As well as I can, I guess. From what I remember, I made quite a fool of myself last night.” You felt your cheeks heating up and brought your knees closer to your body.
Rafael chuckled lightly, “I guess you could say that.” He sipped his coffee again.
You swallowed. “So,” you started, not really wanting to have this conversation, “what exactly did I say?”
Rafael cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with where the conversation was going. “Well, you told me how infuriating it was to not be able to stop thinking about me. You also told me just how much you liked me.”
“Oh my god,” you groaned, setting your coffee on the bedside table and covering your face. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Rafael said, looking at you with concern. “You were drunk off your ass. But, I do need to know, how much of it did you mean?” He questioned lightly. He laid his hand on your knee for support and gently squeezed it.
“If I said what you’re saying, I meant most of it,” you admitted, uncovering your face and looking him in the eyes. When you saw the guilt behind them, you knew what he was going to say.
“I’m so sorry Raf. I never wanted this to happen. I love our work dynamic and I knew this would fuck it up. Just forget I said anything. I’ll order an uber home.” You unplugged your phone from the bedside charger and started scrolling through it, looking for the Uber app.
“No, Y/N, don’t do that.” Rafael put his coffee mug on the table next to yours. “I’m happy that you said something. Believe me when I say that in any other situation I would be elated. I really like you too.
You looked at him in shock. If he reciprocated your feelings, then why was he looking at you like that? Why did he look like he was letting you down?
“But,” he sighed, “I can’t do this right now. I can’t be with anybody.”
The other shoe dropped, along with your heart. You swallowed and nodded.
“I understand,” you mumbled as you yanked the blankets off of you and got out of bed. You went to pick up your street clothes that you folded and placed on a chair the night before. “My ride should be here in 10 minutes and I’ll be out of your hair.”
“Stop, Y/N.” Rafael grabbed your arm as you walked by and stopped you. You kept your face turned away from him so he wouldn’t see the tears welling up in your eyes. He’d never seen you cry before. You were the hard ass, stubborn ADA that didn’t take shit from anyone. You couldn’t stand Rafael seeing you so vulnerable.
“Look at me,” he stood up and walked in front of you, lifting your face with his hands. Once he saw your watery eyes, his heart broke for you. “Dios mío.” He wrapped you in his arms, leading your face to his chest. You hugged him back, bunching up his cotton t shirt in your hands.
“You’ve got to believe me. I’d love to give us a try. More than anything. I was so happy when you said those words last night. But I know I wouldn’t be able to give you the time and attention you deserve. We’re too busy for that right now.”
You nodded into his chest. Deep down, you knew he was right. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to hear him say it.
“I know Raf, I know.” You pulled away from him and gave him a small smile. “It’s not the right time.”
He nodded sadly and sighed, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”
You wiped your tears away, “Don’t be. I get it. I’m going to change and wait downstairs.” You walked into the guest bathroom and locked the door before he could respond.
Rafael walked into the living room and sat on the couch, putting his head in his hands. He looked up when he heard the bedroom door open, watching you as you put your shoes on without glancing at him.
“Thanks for letting me crash here.” You’d regrouped yourself and had resumed your emotionless persona.
“Anytime,” Rafael responded, smiling weakly at you.
“Well, I’ll see you at work I guess. We can talk about Ms. Pierce’s testimony another time,” you stated.
“Of course,” Rafael agreed, “I’ll see you later.”
You nodded at him before exiting his apartment. You let the door shut behind you and exhaled a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You knew that last night changed everything. Nothing would be the same after that.
Tagged everyone that wanted to be updated!
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