i write here about txt!! soft hours AND hard hours, but mostly hard...
masterlist | rules + dni list | recommendations
my moots
inbox status: open!!
i'll gladly accept (almost) every request, everything is in my rules!! i write only gn!reader (they can be afab or amab, i just don't want to specify anything except genitals) and male!reader. PLEASE START READING MY RULES...
tags i'm using:
#em's oversharing moment – me posting random things, most of the times not related to txt
#em's inbox!! – just me responding to things in my inbox...
sometimes i lose so much confidence when writing when i have to search up synonyms all thr Time, almost as if it's embarrassing, and when i want to interact with people im lowkey scared to talk to them in fear of getting my vocab wrong and stuff and it's quite ironic because I'm a writer but i am barely confident with my words because i'm not native to the language which is,.. yeaaahgg
really short + not even really smut, just a bit of grinding and true love!! (so fluff, but in a little bit of smutty way, i suppose?)
you were laying on the couch, some random movie playing in the background. you were mostly focused on the feeling of your boyfriend against you. his legs interwined with yours, his fingers softly caressing small circles on your back.
it felt so right, his thigh in between your legs didn't even feel dirty anymore. just comfortable. his presence, his touch, his tone. soobin was the closest to home a person could be.
you didn't even realize when your hips started moving, grinding lazily against his thigh. soobin just took your hand in his, interwining your fingers and planting a gentle kiss on your forehead.
you smiled, your hand now making its way to the growing bulge on his sweatpants. "leave it be, you don't gotta do anything." he said, his voice alone a real bandage for your soul, just as always.
you just kissed his shoulder, putting a hand over his bulge and gently palming it, letting him softly grind against your hand. your hips still moved against his thigh, slowly but with just enough pressure to make you feel good.
both of you didn't care about getting anywhere with it, just enjoying the comfortable pleasure and your warm embrances. you loved each other, truly and deeply.
-------------------
yeah, i havent been there for like eight months and this is what i come back with... sorry guys </3
warnings: nsfw, sub!loser!soobin, m!meandom!reader, oral (male receiving obviously), degradation, A LOT of dirty talk, a whole lot of cursing, in reality reader is sweet, soob is just a massive freak (and a homosexual)
!!nsfw under the cut, minors dni!!
you were laying on your best friend's bed, like everyday, while he was playing some stupid video game on his computer, also like everyday. he was venting for the last few hours about some girl not wanting to go on a date with him. not like you were exactly listening to him, you were too focused on your phone.
"jeez, soob, all that talking only because of some girl? come on, bro..." you chuckled, not even hiding the amusement over the whole situation.
"hey, it's not funny! she's really pretty... and she was really different over texts. i thought that after our first date she will want to go on another one, but... she just refused."
"she just saw how much of a loser you are and panicked!" you said, laughing. "i bet she realized that even if she would let you hit, she would have to fake her orgasm."
"you're saying that as if you'd be able to make anyone cum." he said, frowning and stopping his game. he turned around on his chair to face you.
"it would be really nice if you could shut your mouth for once, you know?" you said, trying to ignore him and respond to some random person texting you.
"you don't even look like you'd be able to make anyone make a sound." soobin continued, he was the one to laugh now.
hearing that you just put your phone away, looking at him with annoyance painted on your face. "bro, you're a fucking virgin, so don't even try to be so damn cocky now."
"what? i'm just telling the truth!"
"is this a challenge?" you asked, getting up from the bed. "maybe you could shut your mouth if i kept them occupied." you said simply, just ignoring the way the other boy looked at you.
"what if- what if that is a challenge?"
"then you'll lose pretty quickly." you said, chuckling, as if it's the most normal conversation in the world. well, considering how long you know each other, it kinda was the most normal conversation. you knew this can turn out to be fun... or to be the biggest regret of your friendship.
"maybe-"
"on your knees." you interrupted him, genuinely curious of what his reaction even would be. your eyes opened wider at the sight of your friend getting on his knees in front of you, without a second thought, as if his body reacted to your words faster than his mind.
"oh my... you really are that desperate for some action? or maybe you just like dick after all?" you looked down at him, meeting his dark eyes, locked on yours. "which one is it? or maybe both?"
after soobin stayed quiet, you spoke again. "open your mouth for me and be good, yeah?"
once again, soobin without any hesitation opened his mouth, waiting for your next move. with every moment, you were getting more anxious about doing this with him, but if you already went that far... besides, he would tell you if something was wrong, you're sure of it.
you quickly unzipped your jeans, letting them fall to your knees. soobin was keeping eye contact with you non-stop, not even daring to look down at your cock the moment you took it from your boxers and gave it a few pumps.
maybe it was embarrassing, but seeing soobin on his knees right in front of you, ready to obey and please, was enough to make you hard. he was waiting for your cock, his mouth open. both of you already forgot about the whole challenge thing, now the only thing on your mind was what was about to happen.
"you know, you look pretty when you're on your knees... but if that girl saw you like that, she'd laugh in your face. hope you know that." you said and took a small step forward, now touching soobin's cheek with your dick. you chuckled, smearing your precum on his skin.
"you never did this before, yeah? let's just hope that will shut you up for good." you almost put your dick in his mouth, but you spoke again. "if anything's wrong, just pinch my thigh, alright? now, stick your tongue out a bit and keep your teeth away... don't force yourself." you said, putting your cock in front of his mouth, letting him start at his own pace, which he probably would thank you for, if he wasn't already licking along your length.
soobin immediately went to work, excitement obvious on his face. carefulness thrown through the window, he already put your dick in his mouth, trying to take it deeper. you hissed at the too sudden friction.
"jesus christ, soobin, calm the fuck down." you said, taking a handful of his hair and pulling him away. "start slowly or you're gonna hurt both yourself and me. i seriously didn't know you were so damn desperate to have my dick in your mouth." you sighed, your grip on his hair loosening, but still being there, to remind him to take it slow.
he only mumbled something you didn't even catch and licked the head of your cock. "yeah, just like that. don't try to fucking deepthroat me the second you see my dick."
he gave long licks along your lenght and little sucks on the head, his eyes closed. you fully let go of his hair, letting him do what he wants. now enjoying both, the feeling and the sight, you can't help but chuckle. you never expected to have soobin of all people giving you head. you couldn't complain though.
"tell me, have you always wanted to do that? it really seems like it." you wanted to laugh, but to your surprise, a groan was pulled out from you. soobin took your dick in his mouth again and looked up at you.
you felt yourself throb and you weren't sure if it was because of the sight in front of you or the way soobin rolled his tongue around the head of your cock. probably a mix of both, actually. "fuck, is this really the first cock you have ever sucked? you're a goddamn natural, bro. i'm starting to think it would be a waste if you got yourself a girlfriend."
it didn't took long for the taller boy to have his mouth fully occupied, bobbing his head up and down on your length. he wasn't able to take your whole dick, but for some reason it was still completely enough for you to get closer and closer to the edge. you weren't sure when, but your hand was back in his hair, your head thrown back in pleasure. you couldn't care less about staying quiet. god, soobin really was good with his mouth.
"shit, i'm close." you warned him, feeling the familiar sensation in your lower abdomen. at your words, he only started bobbing his head faster. "pull- pull away..." you said, knowing it won't take long till you cum. when he didn't move, you needed your full self-control to do it yourself.
he whined at the burning sensation on his head, caused by you roughly pulling him away from your dick by his hair. you couldn't even say anything and you were already cumming right on his face.
when your cock stopped throbbing, you took a deep breath, trying to calm down your breathing. you finally looked down at soobin, who just sat on his ass where he was kneeling a moment ago.
"i told you to pull away." at that he just shrugged, smiling. you sighed, but an amused smirk appeared on your mouth at the sight of your friend's face all dirty with your release. "god, look at you. you're really fucking proud of yourself, aren't you?"
"hell yes i am, i just made you cum." he said in a "duh" manner, making you chuckle. his voice was a big rough, his face all red and hair messy. you couldn't help but think he looked perfect like this.
"you're really fucking dumb... but you did well, bro. even really well, i'd say." his stupid grin only grew wider at this. "now go clean yourself, my cum is not becoming your new skincare product."
———————
a/n: i highkey want to write a part two where they remember about the challenge and reader shows soobin he can make him make noises he didnt even know hes able to make...
really short + not even really smut, just a bit of grinding and true love!! (so fluff, but in a little bit of smutty way, i suppose?)
you were laying on the couch, some random movie playing in the background. you were mostly focused on the feeling of your boyfriend against you. his legs interwined with yours, his fingers softly caressing small circles on your back.
it felt so right, his thigh in between your legs didn't even feel dirty anymore. just comfortable. his presence, his touch, his tone. soobin was the closest to home a person could be.
you didn't even realize when your hips started moving, grinding lazily against his thigh. soobin just took your hand in his, interwining your fingers and planting a gentle kiss on your forehead.
you smiled, your hand now making its way to the growing bulge on his sweatpants. "leave it be, you don't gotta do anything." he said, his voice alone a real bandage for your soul, just as always.
you just kissed his shoulder, putting a hand over his bulge and gently palming it, letting him softly grind against your hand. your hips still moved against his thigh, slowly but with just enough pressure to make you feel good.
both of you didn't care about getting anywhere with it, just enjoying the comfortable pleasure and your warm embrances. you loved each other, truly and deeply.
-------------------
yeah, i havent been there for like eight months and this is what i come back with... sorry guys </3
sometimes when i go on ppls profiles and see a really pretty intro / theme in general but it shows me like a question mark or a blank box because my device won't show me the symbols and i just feel so confused when trying to navigate through the blog 😭
tags: loser!nerd!soobin x bully!mean!reader, gn reader, sadistic reader, masochistic soobin, dubcon, hate fingering, sadist x masochistic relationship, mutual pining, mild violence, hurt w comfort, mean dirty talk, reader's genitals are unclear and can be interpreted as either a cock or a strap, misunderstandings, public bathroom indecency, bdsm, happy ending!!!
the long await part 4 is here!! i tagged everyone who wanted a part 4 i hope you aren't too irritated by the tag >.<
i did this very tired and sleep deprived so i hope it makes sense HAHAHA
something changed after that date, you could feel it, soobin could feel it and the other classmates felt it too. it was the lingering touches, the maintained gazes during class. the way he dared to stare for just a second longer. you didn't want to admit it, and it was initially easy to ignore the problem. it's not like you weren't used to overlooking soobin. he was simply an accessory in your eyes, what's the use in admiring the shine of a singular gem on a sapphire bracelet?
though, perhaps your dismissiveness was your greatest achilles heel after all. in the end, an undeniable itch would creep up on the back of your neck. like a minuscule mosquito sting that would bloom into large red welts. it started irritating you to a degree. sure you were blatantly ignoring the man, but can a contradiction not be such opposing parallels?
because how dare he, even for a second, ignore you back?
maybe it was the small sigh of relief he let out when you passed by, or the way he kept his head down low when he exited the class. when did it start to bother you so much?
no way. he would come running back. he always did and he always will, you know it in your bones, he will come back he will. what's a victim without a bully? a nerd without a jock??? a locker without a dim-witted loser to push into????????
you will wait it out, wait for him to come out crawling and kneeling, grasping at your leg like a devout to their divine deity— prayers forcing their way frantically out of his mouth.
but seconds tick by, days even, and suddenly it's been two weeks already with no movement. all silent on the battlefront. is this what it's like for drinks to fizzle out at the bottle of a can? when a songbird no longer sings for the morning sun? and the stars no longer shine for the moon? and whatever next poetic quote that rhymes with moon?
damn, what a sad and pathetic way to conclude it. so this is the ending chapter of the depressing story of a mega fluke and his cool fling.
is what you would say if you were the cowardly choi soobin!!!
because you weren't a pussy, and you certainly weren't one to give up on your pride. so be it, if he wants you to come to him, you'll give it to him.
☆★☆
your glare bore holes into the hunched back of choi soobin. now see, normally you wouldn't even gift that loser a glance in his direction, too risky to pay him attention and blow the cover of your unconventional connection after all. but this was a special occasion, and you felt like your nerves were lit on fire, like a hormonal teenager going through puberty again. it was abnormal for everyone else too, many did not even know the unimportant side character soobin was even associated with you, arguably the most interesting (or maybe the right word is known) person in the classroom.
the metal keys weigh heavy in your uniform pants (retrieved from the staffroom after many great excuses to convince your teacher), waiting for the right moment to pounce. come on soobin, you dare him to move. fall right into the metal prongs.
"—dude, hey— HEY!" one of your friends, kiwoo, shook your shoulder, hard enough that you broke your gaze just for a second. you snap your head at him, giving him an irritated look that makes him retreat his hand.
"what's with you?" he says, suspicious, "you've been glaring at soobin ever since he entered the classroom. what? he gave you bad head or something?"
"not funny." you roll your eyes.
"is there something happening between the two of you? it doesn't feel like a simple errand boy situation anymore. you're not nonchalant and mysterious for ignoring the question by the way."
you groan, this really wasn't the time for it. what kind of excuse can you even give him? that the weird situationship you had with soobin backfired and now you're acting like an angsty possessive insecure spouse trying to get him back? tough shit.
"it's not even that deep, kiwoo. he just pissed me off this morning, that's all." you scoff out an excuse, hoping that's enough to deter your nosy friend. you look back at where soobin was seated— shit where did he go?!
"what did he do now?—"
"not the time, he's gone, where did he go?" you look around, irritation seeping into your voice.
"chill, he probably just went to the b—"
you stand up, muttering another alibi before dashing out of the classroom. you catch a glimpse of his white shirt turning the corner, bingo, he's headed to the restroom! your heart thumps in your throat as you approach the bathroom, was the dominos actually falling into place? you can't believe your stupid plan was working.
once you reach the entrance, you silently take a breath, getting ready for the confrontation. you step in, closing the restroom door behind you with the keys, and you hear an all too familiar gasp as the lock sets into place.
"oh, you, the door,"
his stupid voice stutters out (you missed hearing it), shaky eyes meeting yours. he was sweating visibly, like this was a horror game and he just came face to face with the final boss.
"so—sorry wrong room!" he turns around like an npc reciting a practised line, only to be met with the tile wall, what a dumb bunny. when he pivots back around, you are already eye-to-eye with him. his voice hitches, a pathetic excuse for a squeal, and the world spins— you pin him into the wall right behind him. he would crumble onto the floor right there if it weren't for your hands holding his wrists up.
there was a moment of silence between you two, his eyes scattering around as if the gum on the floor was suddenly so much more interesting than the person in front. he bites his bottom lip in fear.
"oh stop it i told you before to not bite your chapped lips." the first words exchanged, a command that he obeys immediately like following your words was as natural as breathing. you forgot how satisfying it was to order him around.
"care to explain why you're avoiding me?" your tone sharp and cutting; as if you were physically pressing a knife up against his chest. he tries to talk. lip trembling, eyes closing, but all that comes out is a fearful whimper.
you click your tongue in irritation, releasing one of his wrists— which limply drops to his side like a ragdoll. using your free hand you grab his face, forcing him to look at you.
"answer."
he tears up, sniffling as he tries not to sob. "m' sorry... i—i'm sorry for ignoring you."
you felt a pang in your heart, you can't tell if it was guilt or anger.
"shit quit apologising and just answer my question. why were you avoiding me."
his shoulders were raised all the way up as if he was expecting you to smack him across the cheek, his whole body was wrecked with trembles and you're impressed he wasn't full-on sobbing yet. his face was red and holy shit no fucking way he was hard. what a strong sense of deja vu, wasn't this exactly how this whole mess started in the first place? you just stare at him for a minute, shaking and quivering with a bulge, no answer on his tongue.
"are you fucking for real? what'd i expect from a masochistic dog. of course, you're getting off from this." you grit your teeth, was he just using you for a quick jerk? that this was his kink this whole time and he only ever saw you as a fuck partner? did he ignore you simply so you would snap and give him exactly what he wants???
and for some reason, you felt betrayed, as if there was actually some relationship between you two. how hypocritical too, did you not also see soobin as sexual relief? wasn't he supposed to be an obedient mouth that opened for your dick? why was your fist clenching and veins pumping as if you caught your long-term partner cheating???
"maybe the only way to get shit through your thick skull is to fuck it out of you huh? bend you over in front of everyone with your ass out as you get fucking drilled by a big fat cock? is that what you want?" your words come out forced and throbbing red with anger.
"i—"
you clasp a rough hand over his throat, though you didn't actually squeeze, he shuts up immediately, eyes wide and fingers quivering. you almost rip his pants down, taking his underwear as well in one swift motion. he snivels pathetically, helplessly being led around as you savagely grasp his hair. you pull him to the sink, forcing him to bend over in front of the mirror. he desperately clutches the edges of the sink with a grunt, otherwise he might be toppled over by your rough handling. his body leaning down with his elbows bent onto the sink edge.
you grip his hair, painfully hard, his scalp must be killing him. you lift his head up until he's staring at his face in the reflection. it was like a brush with scarlet paint used his face as a canvas. his cheeks red and trembling. tears bulge on the edge of his eyes, threatening to slip out any second. his lips long-bitten and bleeding.
"keep staring at your slutty self. watch how pathetic and ugly you're gonna look when you get your organs fucked out. if you break your gaze even for a second i'll fucking kill you."
you cuss with every malevolence in your soul, for a second soobin thinks you might actually kill him. he holds in his breath as if one more sound from him will settle the hatred in your heart and murder him. you spit down onto his ass, watching as it dribbles down, you abruptly prod at his hole. not waiting like you would before. breaking through the rim and forcing your finger in like an intruder.
he loudly groans out in agony, body shuddering and wavering. you smack him over the head. "quit moving so much. shit, i wasted so many stupid gifts on you. and to think i was saving up the actual fucking for something more special. like we were actually a couple or something. but now you're gonna get your organs reorganised in a public bathroom. i guess that's suiting for a whore like you."
he grits his teeth in pain, trying to endure the pain and the humiliation for you. he stares at himself in the mirror in despair, brows furrowed and his vision blurry, his glasses were knocked off his nose from all the movement, but he keeps looking at himself just like you commanded. not trying to disobey you. why did he do that for you? it pissed you to new heights. why was he still acting like he was a goodie two shoes who didn't want to displease you?
you thrust the finger in and out with no care, barely being assisted by your makeshift lube to slide against his walls. his soft whimpers barely slipping out. you press another finger against his hole and this time he does stir, he jerks away. incoherent protests come out when he feels the second finger try to enter.
"break! a break! please give me uh a break b—before the second!" he begs, on the verge of breaking into full sobs.
"what makes you think you can bargain?"
he shivers at your harsh words, head hanging in shame. it was so pathetic, you feel a small semblance of pity, spitting more on his ass to assist the second. but you weren't merciful by any standard and promptly slid the two fingers in.
his shoulders shake, feeling full already with the two fingers. tears finally slip out in both overwhelming pain and pleasure. he hadn't touched himself ever since the last time you two met.
your ruthless fingers pump in and out of his ass like you were digging for his stomach, violently pressing against his prostate. it hurts like crazy. a primal and animalistic type of pain. but oh man, the electricity zipping through his body was hitting all the right places. it felt so wrong yet so right. like he belonged here pressed underneath your feet and hands. this felt like pleasure. his dick was tall and alert, pent up and ready to burst. his body begged for more while his mind was praying for mercy.
he thrashes around with each new thrust, being unable to control his body as a guttural wail forces its way out of his mouth. the slopping of skin slapping skin fills your ears. you grunt as you tighten your hold on his hair, trying to get him to stop moving. the more you ram your fingers into his prostate, the more frantic he becomes, one of his hands coming up to weakly pry at your hand holding his hair. you let go of your grip on his scalp to instead pull his body flush against your chest, hand snaking to the front and onto his throat. your fingers ceasing to stop with its insane momentum.
"please— no more— have me—mercy! i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm sorry—" he begs endlessly, sobbing and shaking his head, struggling against your hold.
you ignore his pleas, hand trailing down from his throat to his lower stomach, you can feel the movement of your fingers. suddenly, you push your palm down on his lower abdomen, right above his prostate. just as your two fingers press into the glands.
he cries out, head blanking into sparks of light and stars. his cock spasming as he spurts out white stripes, shooting onto the mirror. his hands that were frantically prying at your wrists limps down.
your lips curl into a cruel smile, a sense of satisfaction raking over your body. you slid your two fingers out of his hole. a scoff comes out, naturally.
"hah. you came? i wasn't even trying to pleasure you, and you came like a little..."
your nasty words drift off as you look at him in the mirror. the room is now uncomfortably quiet, only the weeping and sobbing of soobin echoing in the restroom. he looks like a wreck, not in a sexy, sweaty way. but in a heart-hanging, guilt-tripping way. his face was painted with tears, snot and substance. eyes closed and afraid to look up at you. his body exhausted and leaning against you, he didn't even have the energy to quiver.
you did this to him, you absolutely ruined his pretty face and his sweet eyes. you actually deserve hell. what was wrong with you? how could you do this to someone so cute and precious? soobin deserved the world and so much more, he deserved everything good and nice and sweet and right on this earth. but what happened at that moment, how did you get here?
suddenly it was like your throat was constricted and swollen, lips dry with unsaid words. what do you say? apologise? promise to leave him alone forever?
"i..."
"i'm sorry..." he beats you to it with shaky words.
"holy shit no— no no, don't apologise." you quickly mumble, holding him up.
"i— i was scared, i didn't know how you would react. because i think, i think i'm insane, i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm scared you would be disgusted" his words tumble out breathlessly, you just stare silently in shock.
"i'm sorry— i don't get myself either, because everything about you drives me crazy and i can't be around you— i know i'm a masochistic dog but i just can't help it— no matter what you do to me makes me like you more, d—don't hate me please. i'm such a freak—" his words are barely coherent as he sobs.
"shh shhh shh it's okay, calm down soobin, calm down." you try to comfort him, beyond confused and shocked. he's crying so hard he's hiccuping and stammering. you help him lean on a wall and he slides down, you frantically kneel down to try and ground him.
"i— i don't want you to hate me— but your attention just feels so good to me— anything— any attention you give me it just shakes me to my core... i couldn't do it anymore—hic— i had to avoid you hick—" he hides his face in his hands. you try to understand his words, your head spiralling in turmoil. he what? he avoided you because you gave him too much attention? what kind of fucked up logic was that? this was starting to sound like those cliche misunderstanding tropes in romcoms. nevermind that, you had a sexually confused pile of fluff to comfort.
"soobin breathe, hey, come on." you say as softly as you can, like you were trying to approach an injured bunny in the wild. no matter, your heart pangs with guilt as he keeps crying. you pull him into a hug on your lap, wrapping your arms tight around his frame. this seems to make him cry more, but he leans into you, knees bundled tight against his chest as he savours the warmth. you two stay on the floor in this strong embrace. you coo sweet and reassuring words into his ear as you rock him back and forth, doing your best to console him. kissing each tear as it falls.
his sobs quiet down with each passing minute until there was only silence and mute sniffling. it was bizarre to cuddle on the restroom floor, but it was nice, and you have to admit that you do like soobin in your arms. not embracing him in sex, but in comfort and simply to make him feel good. this was crazy hypocritical to say, considering he was partly crying due to your assholery.
after a few more minutes of silence, you glance at soobin, still hidden away by his hands. "soob, come on, look at me." you coo into his ear, and he makes a small noise of acknowledgement. your hands gently pry at his hands and he lets you remove his shield from his face. he looks at you pitifully, eyes red and puffy from the crying, pouting. you kiss his cheek, you don't know why you did it, but it felt right to.
"do you want to talk to me now?"
he nods, but hides his face in your shoulder.
"i... i'm crazy and a freak. you hurt me, you humiliate me, you cause me so much pain."
you grimace, stroking his hair. yeah, that sounds about right. if there was one thing consistent about your inconsistent personality, it was how much of an asshole you are. if soobin was your salvation, it was like the angels gave you a second chance at life. but you honestly wouldn't blame them if the ground caved beneath you right now and sent you straight to hell. was it bad to say you enjoyed all the sadistic acts? probably. you can't lie and say you regret being a sadist. but if it makes it better, you do regret the pain soobin is feeling right now.
"but... please don't hate me for this..."
"i won't hate you, soobin." you encourage him to keep talking, shushing his worries away.
"i like all of it, i like it so much it drives me crazy. i'm abnormal, i know. and i get it if you think i'm disgusting. but i'm so obsessed with you. i think about the things you do to me every night, i replay it in my head over and over again until i'm touching myself again. the more you hurt me, the more i like you... but... but you kept avoiding me, and i thought you knew how i felt and you were disgusted... and if that was the case... i didn't want to get hurt anymore..." he confesses fully, face buried deep in your neck and you feel your shirt slowly wet with his tears again.
it was silence, absolute, bewilderment from your side. the quiet seems to gnaw at soobin's heart, because he lifts his head up, gaze lowered as he stutters. "i— i get it if you're disgusted, my feelings are so strang—"
"soobin, you're a proper, proper masochist, wow." you breathe out. lifting his face up gently with two of your hands. wiping away his tears with your sleeve.
"oh..." he just mouths, mind seemingly blank. confused by how mundane your reaction was.
"wait, so how'd you feel about what we did just then? did you like it?"
"i... didn't like you being angry at me..."
"but what about the feeling? the fingering? the rough treatment?"
he blushes. "i liked the rough treatment."
he pauses for a moment. "and you paying attention to me again."
the both of you fall quiet and he crumbles at the scrutiny. you knew soobin was masochistic and that he liked you. this was not new information. shit, you knew this from the beginning. so what changed? why did you freak out and go ballistic? why'd you corner him and demand him to tell you why he avoided you? why'd you force him to endure all that pain?
"i... i was so mean to you today... i... because you kept, looking away from me, and, ignoring my gaze and avoiding me. i thought..." the words fall into noiseless void. burning on the tip of your tongue.
"i thought you didn't like me anymore,"
you admit, shame and humiliation weighing down your heart. for a self-proclaimed smartass, you were sure stupid and dense to your own emotions. when did it start? when did you actually start caring about the loser? maybe the answer was simpler than that, you never felt the feelings creeping up to you, because, in truth, you've always been looking at him. maybe that's why you picked on him so easily, always eyeing for his reaction. shit, what a twisted way your heart works. but damn did you have a lifetime of sins to atone for.
soobin was blinking up at you blearily, clearly confused and oblivious to the conclusion in your head. you pick up his cracked glasses from the ground, gently inserting them behind his ears. (you'll buy him another pair later.)
"you don't hate me?" his voice was weak and hopeful. you scoff.
"you're too easy to bully and pick on. it's the complete opposite idiot. i just have a shitty way to show my feelings, and you're unfortunately the victim."
it takes a moment for him to process your words, and his face morphs into a cute kind of shock, he is ecstatic, you can tell by the way his dimples deepen. you really didn't deserve this man or any of the feelings he has, for some reason, god was merciful and sent the perfect masochistic man to slot into your sadistic tendencies.
"but... isn't our relationship weird?" he frowns.
"we crossed that line the moment i fingered you dude."
he chuckles at this, caught off guard. and you appreciate the clear ringing of his laughter without any more denial.
"honestly, you picked such a shitty person to crush on. i'm the worst, i like being mean to you. i like humiliating you, i like the feeling of having you grovel at my feet."
his face reddens with each word, hiding his face into your shoulder again. you lean into him, appreciating the silky softness of his hair.
"i don't deserve you. i'm an idiot, it took what? months of sexual tension and emotional buildup for me to realise i actually like you instead of hating you?" you ramble, he snorts.
"but i'll make it up to you, i promise." you can tell he was blushing by the heated tips of his ears. this was nice, him in your lap. he's still a loser, but he's your loser. (gross, you reconsider taking everything back with this one thought.)
"let's get out of here first. screw class, we're gonna graduate anyways, what are the teachers gonna do?"
"and i should wear some pants..." he comments.
"that too."
☆★☆
you do a final check over at soobin, ointment applied and bandaged up. he looks out of place in your fancy bedroom and it makes you snicker. once a loser, forever a loser.
"okay, that's it. does it hurt anywhere else?" you ask, setting down the ointment. he's only injured slightly, it was mostly his bitten lip and some bruises from the rough handling.
he nods and you instantly look at him with concern. "where? where and what hurts?"
he exaggeratedly points at his heart and you scoff, rolling your eyes, trying your hardest not to smile at his antics. "what does the big baby want?"
soobin is pensive and shy at first, he wasn't expecting you to take his dramatics seriously. but soon his lips curl into a cheeky grin. "...cuddles, and kisses."
you blush at the idea, grimacing. you stand up and walk away from him towards the bed.
soobin panics at your reaction. "s—sorry! i was being stupid, you don't have to take it seriously, don't leave me!"
"shut up, do you want it or not?" you say, sitting on the edge of the bed. arms stretched out.
he grins widely, hurrying up to jump into your arms. you two roll over into the bed as you stretch the blanket to cover your bodies. you admire soobin's joyful expression, stroking his hair.
don't get it wrong, you still think such blatant displays of affection were cringe, and soobin was still a loser. but maybe it was never that deep, and you could definitely see yourself get used to this.
you lean down, your lips connecting with his, he feels so plush and soft underneath you. he's still a masochistic dog definitely, and you still think he's a pervert, but he's also so precious and lovable, there was so many things you could list about him.
you two separate. he seems beyond pleased with himself, burying his face into your neck. "i feel like this is all a dream, and i'm going to wake up."
"don't insult me, dream me could never kiss this well." you roll your eyes. he snickers.
"yeah, you're right. no one else could make me feel this way except real you."
you feel yourself grin, really grin. not out of malice, a grin of genuine satisfaction and joy. you feel your eyelids drooping as soobin drifts to sleep in your arms. if you told younger you that this was how things would turn out with soobin, they probably would've cussed and flipped you out.
oh well. they will come to accept it eventually anyways. this wasn't so bad after all.
end.
☆★☆ BONUS SCENE
soobin drools, senses heightened. tied up, gagged, blindfolded and a vibrator pressing at his cock. he wasn't going to last much longer. you were cruel, so fucking cruel. and he had no idea where you even were. did you leave him? how long has it been? minutes? hours? did you leave the room?
he was snapped back to reality by a harsh slap on his thigh. he trembles and sobs, curling into himself. he feels a pressure at the back of his head before the gag loosened up, allowing him to breathe and talk.
"pl—please, can't, can't— gon cum, can't hold it in. mercy, please mercy." he cries out, voice broken. he sobs and thrashes around. hoping he can charm his way out of this. he was going to burst any moment and he was going to be punished harshly for disobeying you.
"colour?" you whisper by his ear, making him jump with a whimper.
"g—green." he sniffles.
"good boy." you coo, stroking his chest, circling around one of his nipples. he cries, nerves jerking all over the place.
"beg for it."
"please..." he begins, swallowing down a sob.
"please fuck me... please give me permission to cum— i— i can't last any longer— hic!"
you interrupt him with a large intrusion in his ass, he almost mewls in both pleasure and pain. "a—ah! so big, feeeels good, uhhg feels so good. love you, love you."
you grin cruelly, thrusting into him hard and accurate. the pleasure he was in twists into panic as he realises you hadn't given him permission to cum yet. and if you kept going at this pace, he was surely going to cum before your permission.
"w—wait ple—ease let me cum! i've been good, i've been good! please let me cum, i've been so good for you!" he snivels, were you going to be nice or heartless today? the closer he reaches to his climax, the more he frets. grovelling down at you, begging relentlessly for permission. before long, he feels his limit.
"i'm going to oh god i'm going to! i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm so disobedient i'm going to disobey you! i feel it— hic—" he cries louder, and just before he climaxes, you press down on his lower stomach, whispering in his ear.
"come for me baby."
with that, his body violently convulses, and his back arches as his mouth opens in a silent scream. cum forces its way out of his painfully hard dick, a guttural groan digs its way out as he empties completely onto the bed.
after his ejaculation, he huffs heavily, whines mixed in with his wheezing. you let him ride out his orgasm, pulling out of him. you untie him and take off the blindfold. kissing him sweetly.
"you did so well, you were so cute soob." you cheekily grin. he smiles tiredly up at you. body sore and thoroughly ruined. he stretches his arms out and you take it as a signal to lift him up into your lap.
he settles into your embrace like it is the most natural thing in the world. giggling into your shoulder. "that was amazing, i love you so much."
"i gueesss love you." you tease.
"hey!"
you chuckle, kissing his cheek. "just kidding, i love you."
soobin whispers a quiet 'i know.'
you two enjoy each other's company for a second, only interrupted by soobin's growling stomach.
"greedy." you jab at him with a grin and he pouts.
"i'll get you something to eat at the convenience store." you shake your head, getting up to leave but soobin tugs at your sleeve.
"i'm going to be lonely, take me with you!"
you roll your eyes at his dramatic antics, but oblige anyways.
☆★☆
at the convenience store, you buy a simple bread bun for soobin, your hands warming up in your pockets as he enjoys his snack. it was a cold winter, and you wanted to return back to your apartment as soon as possible.
"yo!"
a vaguely familiar voice calls out, you turn around to be met with a recognizable face, a gasp on your lips—
"holy shit, kiwoo! i haven't seen you since graduation."
soobin vaguely identify the man as one of your old high school friends.
"it's been quite a few years, hasn't it," he chuckles, though confusion was evident in his eyes as he recognises soobin.
"soobin? what are you doing here?" he pauses, glancing between you, and the soobin, and then you. like the gears of a clock slowly turning.
"you guys are still friends?" he asks.
you and soobin exchange a look.
"not really." you chuckle.
he tilts his head and you dutifully wrap an arm around soobin's waist. a cheeky grin on your face as you show off the glinting gem on your finger.
"he's my fiance, obviously."
★★★ end ★★★
an: i hope you guys enjoyed the fic and the ending!!! it took a lot of contemplating on how i was going to end this highly anticipated series... i do have a lot of inbox asks for alternative realities and spin-offs, so i will probably work on them next!!! also so sorry for disappearing for like multiple months... i had been so busy with life help!!!
anyways... reshares and comments are always appreciated! please do let me know how you felt about the fic....
