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[showerthoughtsofficial]

If instead of sending links to “nude pics” Tinder bots just said “omg look at this Spongebob meme” a lot more people would fall for the virus links probably.

[showerthoughtsofficial]

The first 18 years of our lives are like a giant lag spike in a game, at first everything is fine, then it all unfreezes and you’re at half health and out of ammo.

[thededfa]

On the months my research team and I were allowed to live on Earth and observe their habitat I noted the following about human young:

- human young will turn anything into a weapon to mock battle their peers, broom sticks, straws, even their food

- when in large groups human young will display games of mock hunts against each other. The two most common being “tag” where one young will try to catch the other young acting as prey, and “mob” where all of the young will try to catch a single young who acts as the prey. This suggests an instinctive ability for both pack and solo hunting

- human young will often hone their stalking and hunting skills by hiding or attempting to sneak up on others and pouncing with loud sounds meant to intimidate and frighten. This is considered amusing for the attacker and victim  

- adult humans will often mock attack their young with their hands or objects to train the young to protect their vital areas and avoid injury. The young find this amusing and will quickly learn to train each other in this manner

- young humans will often attack and attach themselves to an older human’s legs, arms, or back, hanging on despite being dragged or carried while the adult human walks away. Both humans seems to find the experience entertaining 

- young humans are extremely territorial and will attempt to drive off others from food, toys, and areas they have claimed as theirs with physical and verbal attacks. Fortunately, most adult humans actively try to train this behavior out, insisting the young come to an agreement or share resources and territory. 

- young humans constantly search for new territory, dens, and resources. They will climb trees, shelving, anything they can reach. They will climb under and behind things. If there are no suitable hiding areas they will construct them out of blankets and cushions or any other available item. 

- young humans display a strong pack instinct, quickly forming social groups and defending their group against other groups. Often they will split their own group in order to mock battle each other in contests

- HUMAN YOUNG WILL BITE IF DISTRESSED OR ANGRY AND EMIT LOUD NOISES THAT CALL MATURE HUMANS TO AID THEM

- human young will beg for domesticated carnivores as companions, and if gifted with one will pack bond with it to an extreme point.

- human young will carry a toy and try to protect and nurture it as if the toy was their own young

- human young require constant stimulation in the form of games or information. They will constantly question things and can spend extraordinary amounts of time asking “why”, often while poking the subject in question

- human young will try to eat anything at least once. Anything. If it will fit into their mouth they will attempt to eat it. If it will not fit into their mouth they will lick it. 

-human young will voluntarily deprive themselves of oxygen to the point of unconsciousness in an attempt to trigger protective instincts in older humans so they get their way

- human young display great interest in mimicry, often dressing up as different professions, species, and objects. They also display great skill in mimicking the calls and body language of other species.        *Example: one human young had me quite concerned there was another Treawalbil in distress and I searched for quite some time before I discovered that the young was mimicking a Treawalbil distress trill with complete accuracy.       *Second Example: Human young have begun to wear wear “hats” with artificial crests similar to a Treawalbil and some have begun painting colorful patterns to their arms in imitation of our camouflage. 

- human young communicate constantly and spread information quickly not only among their own social group but other social groups as well.     *Example: The human young who mimicked a Treawalbil distress trill taught their social group and soon I was surrounded by human young calling out in distress. This caused the Treawalbil researchers much anxiety so the adult humans suggested teaching the young other calls. The human young learned enough for basic communication at an astonishing rate, but then other social groups we had not taught began using the same calls as well. Even adult humans began using the calls to communicate with us without translators. 

- Young humans will gift beings and creatures they believe to be in their social group with handmade objects, interesting specimens they have collected, or food. Strangely enough, a being does not have to be human in order to belong to a human’s social group. 

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Spicy food is just bdsm for your mouth

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Hollywood is going to have to start putting a “No women were assaulted during the making of this movie” disclaimer at the end of their movies.

[sooperspook]

‘Fantasy’ in a fantasy world

If this world had real magic, what would our ‘fantasy’ genre look like?

[sooperspook]

My son’s confidence in me

Son: Are we going to die? (From me using household chemicals)

Me: Probably not.

Son: The fact that you said ‘probably’ worries me.

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Fallout 3 is about finding your father, Fallout 4 is about finding your son, Fallout 5 will be about finding the Holy Spirit

[sooperspook]

Unexperienced

I just realized that every girlfriend I’ve ever had asked me out. So even at my age I have no idea how to flirt.

[sooperspook]

Writing sitting in a cafe.

Why do I want a collar?

I don’t like being controlled. But I don’t want the responsibility. I haven’t been able to make my self do my uni work. I need someone to push me. But I hate being nagged. I need someone to push me gently.

Sex.

I’m scared of someone doing things I don’t want to me. But I want someone else to take the initiative. To push. I don’t like myself. I want to lose myself. I want to be bitten on the neck. I want to bite someone. Not hard. I want to  be scratched on the head. I want to forget I’m human for a while. I don’t want to be humiliated or embarrassed.

Do I really want a collar? Do I just want.. what? What do I want? I want to hide away from the world. I want to lose myself in fictional worlds. I want to sleep and never wake up. Will a collar help? Do I still want a collar? Yes. Maybe. Do I really? Is this just influence from the manga I’ve been reading? I’m thinking in circles now. Are my thoughts honest? Or am I just editing them in case this is read by someone?

I want to be a girl in love with another girl. Why? Because it’s the furthest from my real self? Different gender, young instead of old, carefree? less responsibility, being passive is ok. I still can’t imagine being with a guy even if I was a girl. No. I can imagine it. I don’t want to. Am I really straight or do I just want to be? Am I just afraid of not being straight? Maybe? Lean more towards No. Is this related to having a collar?

I want a girl smaller than me. To be the aggressive one. Assertive one? In our relationship. Why? Why smaller? Because I feel small? She’ll make me feel big? tall? strong?

I am insecure.

I am scared.

I don’t want to flunk out. But I think I will.

I want to run away.

I don’t want to abandon my son. I don’t think I raised him right. I couldn’t teach him how to be confident. I couldn’t teach him how to socialise outside of a computer. Maybe he learned it on his own and I just haven’t seen it.

I feel there’s a distance between us. I infected him with my depression.

I can’t help him.

I want to.

I watn to write this on my tumblr. I don’t know if I will.

Do I still want a collar? I think so.I can imagine how it feels on my neck and I want to feel it for real.

I think.

I want to walk behind someone smaller than me with a collar on and a lead in their hand. Why? Why a smaller person? Do I just like the visual of someone smaller leading someone larger?

I need to get shape first. I look like a fat nerd/geek. Well, I am a fat nerd/geek. I don’t want to be. I wish I was taller. I don’t like being short.

I’m editing my thoughts because there are some things I don’t want to say out loud even if it’s in private writing. What if someone sees? They will see if I put this up on tumblr. I’ll probably edit it more if I do. To clear up some sentences and grammar.

I care too much about what people think. I should be doing my uni work but I’m hiding in a cafe. I want to say “ I’ll do my work when I get back” but I’m afraid I won’t. If I say “ I’ll try to do my work when I get back” it just opens up an excuse for me.

“I tried, it didn’t work”

Aren’t streams of consciousness supposed to be random? I’m just thinking somethings that I’ve been thinking for a while. I could google what stream of consciousness really means. I don’t want to. I don’t want to edit my thoughts any further than I already have.

I’ve had so much coffee but I still want to sleep. Is it my meds or is it depression? stress?

I do this to myself. I hate it. I don’t think I can change. It would be dramatic for me to just write “Help” here and end the post.

I can’t do it now but I wonder what would have happened if I did and posted this online?

I don’t think anyone reads my posts.

I know some do on twitter. I’m disappointing everyone who knows me.

I hate it.

Or maybe I’m used to it. Comfortable with it. Because its what I’ve always done.

I am wasted potential. excess heat. wasted heat. Like from braking. I am the potential released as heat that does nothing but heat up the atmosphere more.

I wish I was a kid again,

This has gone a long way from my original question.

Have I answered it? Yes. Sort of. Maybe.

Why do I want a collar?

Because I don’t want to be me anymore.

That’s a nice place to end this.

[sooperspook]

Lost memories

I cannot remember the name of the girl I lost my virginity to. I remember some of the things we did together, where we were, funny moments, sad moments, horny moments.

I can remember her taste, her smell, her touch.

But I can’t remember her name.

[sooperspook]

Aliens and non action sci-fi

So action movies might cement our reputation for being space orcs but what about all the other stuff? Like Dr Who, which as a time traveling alien protecting earth and humans because he likes them? Or Red Dwarf, set a million years in the future with the last remaining human? Or E.T.? Or Paul (Simon Pegg, Nick Frost)?

[sooperspook]

Why are you humans like this?

As a straight person, watching the LGBT+ community fight with itself through bi-erasure ,transphobia etc, makes me think “This is what it must be like looking at the human race from an aliens perspective”.

“Humans, why are you in conflict with yourselves over such minor differences? Can you not see your similarities are more numerous?”

[showerthoughtsofficial]

A billionaire could give me %.01 of his wealth and change my life while he is virtually unaffected

[sooperspook]

So true

[sooperspook]

Far too many

I wonder how many teenagers from the early 2000′s have named their daughter Stacy JUST so they can play the song at every opportunity.

[just-shower-thoughts]

If the 3 search engines were a family; Yahoo would be the dead beat dad who’s never there, Google would be the stressed out single mom trying to solve all the problems, and Bing would be the rebellious teenage son trying to do everything on his own.

[sooperspook]

Now that the internet is here

Is cabin fever still a thing?