Social Media and Sex

[soosxcial]

historical sex

in the epic of gilgamesh and the stories of inanna, sex shows up often. and the purpose behind it isn't simply shock value. it's about power, the divine, and all things natural. the language used is all very physical and earthy and reads as kinda intense.

but that's the point. sex was never something to be ashamed about. it was seen as something sacred. inanna uses sex to claim power and bless the land, which i think is beautiful. it is seen as something that connects and transforms, as well as creates.

sex played a big role in the things that mattered to them most (fertility, crops, the gods). and instead of hiding it, they wrote about it in poetic detail. maybe we've made sex more complicated then it ever should have been.

[not-safe-for-breakfast]

TELEDILDONICS

from what i understand, this is the word for sex toys that incorporate tech somehow, like vibrators connected to the internet or VR porn (which is a thing apparently? anyone have experience with this & might wanna share...i am wondering how it would work logistically)

it sounds very scientific, & i like to type it out (hence the all caps shsjsjsjs)

i think teledildonics makes the sex industry + idea of sex more mainstream, more normalized and integrated into everyday life...because of you have this stuff on your phone it is going to be more obvious no matter how hard you try to hide it, just because our phones go with us everywhere—so it can be a positive development that helps weaken the social stigma around sex

here's a Forbes article that furthered my understanding, would greatly recommend giving it a quick read

What the heck is... teledildonics?

Explaining the buzzwords of the moment: what are teledildonics and what do they mean for our future?

[soosxcial]

also very curious about this whole thing. TELEDILDONICS... probably good for long distance couples? but like how does VR sex work

[soosxcial]

cyber sex

what even counts as real sex anymore? is it just bodies touching or is it something more? if two people hook up over webcam with voice and eye contact and everything but they’re not in the same room...does that count?

sure it’s missing stuff like touch and smell and all the messy physical things we associate with sex but does that make it less real? or just different?

cybersex can still feel intimate. people can get off. people can connect. sometimes people feel more vulnerable doing that than they ever did in person. maybe it’s not about the physical checklist. maybe it’s about intention, or connection, or wanting to be seen and wanted

we’re told what sex is “supposed” to look like but that’s always changing. and honestly a lot of people fake their way through “real” sex while feeling nothing. does that still count more than a meaningful connection through a screen?

[soosxcial]

sex work as a choice

“like any other form of labor under capitalism, people trade sex for reasons that exist on a continuum of choice, circumstance, or coercion”

people always say sex work is empowering if you choose it. but what does choosing something really mean when rent is due and every other door is closed. survival isn’t exactly freedom

some people genuinely want to do sex work. some do it because it pays better than anything else. some feel like they have no other option. is that empowerment or just doing what you have to do. maybe both?

we like to label things as either empowering or exploitative but real life is messier than that. you can feel good about something even if it came from a hard place. and sometimes desire and desperation show up at the same time

plus we’re all shaped by what we’ve been told is “acceptable” or “respectable” especially when it comes to sex. that stuff gets in our heads whether we realize it or not

so yeah maybe the question isn’t whether sex work is empowering or forced. maybe it’s just about listening to people and trusting them to tell their own stories

[sexworkerstories]

I had a client over the phone who wanted me to roleplay as a little girl, his daughter, and he roleplay did cocaine with me and shot me up with opium and then fucked me. he communicated safe words with me beforehand and stuff so he seemed to understand consent, but it still kind of rattled me. anybody else really wonder what those kind of clients are like around children in their real life?

[not-safe-for-breakfast]

this poses a difficult question that i’m honestly not sure has an answer: where is the line when someone’s kink becomes dangerous? does the line exist at all? everything was consensual in this story, but if this client venerates child abuse this much and associates it with sexual pleasure as well, how does that behavior translate to real life? how can we be sure that people with kinks that would cause harm in a real-life setting don’t have a tendency towards causing such harm in real life? should certain kinks, such as inflicting intense violence, remain stigmatized so that the behavior is not in danger of being deemed socially acceptable?

personally, my thought is that if no one is hurting anyone (in a non-consensual manner), then what people do is of course there own business…but anything involving children and sex should indeed be stigmatized and examined from a mental illness perspective so that these people can get professional help

[soosxcial]

gentrification of only fans

when bella thorne joined onlyfans, it brought a lot of attention to the platform, but it also messed things up for the people who were already there. sex workers, especially those who are marginalized, use onlyfans to survive and have some control over their work.

bella made millions in a few days, said it was for a role or to advocate for sex workers, and then left. after that, onlyfans changed their payout policies and smaller creators paid the price.

on one hand, she helped make onlyfans more visible and maybe made some people take sex work more seriously. on the other hand, she took up space in a community she doesn’t really belong to, made a ton of money, and didn’t deal with any of the risks that actual sex workers face.

so maybe she helped with visibility. but at what cost? and who actually benefited in the end? it’s complicated. and it should be.

[not-safe-for-breakfast]

the trump administration is full of people whose goal is to erase queer identities from online spaces by calling queer content sex trafficking and queer people sex predators. we can't let them win. WE. CAN'T.

we saw this with the 2018 porn ban; if we can get through that, we can get through anything (joking, but kinda not shsjsjsj). though the situation is definitely most similar to the SESTA/FOSTA shitshow, it reminds me of that millisecond frickin ONLYFANS banned explicit sexual content—the government's distaste for sex work driving a corporation to conform with what said government wants of them. even though OF said they were doing it because they wanted "more diverse content" SESTA/FOSTA had already been in effect for 3 years, so it makes sense that they would feel pushed to betray their userbase who built the site. WE are the users, we have control. OnlyFans didn't ban porn for long; don't forget that we have the power to change the minds of big corporations if we band together. we can take the power of the government's hands.

[soosxcial]

only fans porn ban...

remember when onlyfans announced they were banning porn in 2021 and then took it back a few days later? it was a weird moment, but also not that surprising.

they blamed pressure from banks and payment processors (something sex workers have been dealing with for a long time.) financial institutions constantly create barriers for people in the adult industry, even while profiting off their labor behind the scenes.

onlyfans built its brand on adult content, but the second it became inconvenient, they tried to drop the people who made the platform successful. the backlash was loud, and they reversed the decision. but the message was clear.

sex workers are always the first to be pushed out, even from spaces they helped build. it’s a reminder that relying on platforms that don’t prioritize their safety or stability is always a risk, and it shouldn’t be.

[not-safe-for-breakfast]

another poll and then i'll give analysis under the cut:

Is online sexual content creation (ie videos, camming) so different from full service in-person sex work that they should be treated as different things altogether?

Yes

Nah

Voting ended onApr 8, 2025

In my opinion, sex workers are sex workers, meaning whatever kind of sex work they do is irrelevant (to whether or not they are sex workers), but there's a way bigger difference between camming and full service work than i thought. two things can be true (even at the same time, shocker i know). if you wanna know more abt the subject, there's this book—DON'T STOP READING PLEASEEEE—Camming: Money, Power, and Pleasure in the Sex Work Industry, & it's highly informative

https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctv1jk0hqs

having read the book, I realize now that camming is a safer, more comfortable form of sex work, since you're literally working from your home and you have that boundary of the screen between you and the client. but logistically it can be more difficult to be a cam model cause you have to set up links and accounts and methods of digital payment, whereas in-person there can be a cash exchange and things can be much simpler in that respect. so from what i understand, cam models are sex workers, but still different from in-person full service sex workers. both true statements. whaddaya y'all think

[soosxcial]

fire post so real and honest and true

[soosxcial]

moderation, but for porn

moderation on porn sites is just as important as it is on sfw platforms, but the challenges can be even bigger. it's not just about keeping out spam or harassment—there’s a real need to prevent non-consensual content, exploitation, and other harmful material.

unlike sfw sites, where moderation is mostly about stopping misinformation or hate speech, adult platforms have to deal with verifying consent, age, and making sure nobody's content is being posted without permission. and let's be real, the internet is full of people who don’t care about ethics when it comes to adult content.

good moderation means protecting performers, making sure users aren’t exposed to illegal material, and keeping the industry safer for everyone. the internet already struggles with basic content moderation, so imagine how much worse it gets when sex is involved. people love to consume adult content, but way too many don’t think about the responsibility that comes with it.

[soosxcial]

pleasure in sex work

pleasure in sex work isn’t just about performance—it can also be about agency, self-expression, and connection. for some sex workers, pleasure comes from having control over their work, setting boundaries, and creating experiences on their own terms. in virtual spaces like camming, this can mean experimenting with identity, exploring fantasy, and engaging with clients in ways that feel safer or more empowering. but pleasure is personal—what feels good for one worker might not for another. whether virtual or physical, sex work is complex, and workers deserve respect, safety, and autonomy in every space they navigate.

[wearetryst]

"I decided to do sex work. Talking about decision makes more sense to me, because sex work wasn’t merely the result of being presented with a menu of options and simply picking one."

The Moment I Knew: Sex Worker Origin Stories

In our new series, Sunny Bonheur tells us the story of how she knew she wanted to be a sex worker.

[soosxcial]

what is sex work?

the other day i was talking about the movie anora to my friend. if u didn't know, it's about a stripper who falls in love with this guy blah blah blah-- it won the oscar for best picture!

anyways i called the main character a sex worker and my friend got confused. she is a stripper, not a sex worker. but actually, strippers are sex workers. sex work is any job that involves erotic labor, including stripping, escorting, camming, and other forms of adult entertainment. not all sex work involves physical contact, but it's all part of the same industry.

people hesitate to call strippers sex workers because of the stigma around the term, but that stigma comes from misconceptions and judgment, not reality. sex work isn’t shameful or wrong, and acknowledging that strippers are sex workers doesn’t degrade them--it just recognizes the full scope of their labor.

[soosxcial]

ai moderation is a helpful tool for handling the massive amounts of content online and catching obvious violations quickly and efficiently. it's fast and can process thousands of posts in the blink of an eye.

but the downside? it often lacks the nuance, context, and understanding of human intent. that’s where human moderation steps in, bringing empathy, insight, and a deeper understanding of cultural differences. even though sometimes there is a downside of possibly traumatizing the moderators

this is why ai should definitely be used as a first round filter, flagging content for review, but anything flagged should go through human moderation for a second, more thoughtful look. balancing both is key to keeping online spaces safe without losing the personal touch.

[soosxcial]

section 230?

section 230 is basically the law that keeps the internet from turning into a corporate wasteland. it protects websites from being sued over what users post, which is why places like tumblr, twitter, and reddit aren’t constantly in legal trouble for every bad take, wild meme, or questionable comment.

without it, platforms would probably start deleting way more content just to play it safe. no more unhinged posts, no more deep-dive conspiracy threads, no more weird niche communities—just a lot of carefully moderated, boring content. on the other hand, some argue that platforms should be more responsible for harmful content, so the debate over section 230 is very real.

if it gets changed or removed, the internet could end up looking a lot different. maybe safer, maybe duller... depends on who you ask. personally, I lean towards boring. what do you think? should platforms be held accountable, or should we keep the chaos alive?

[soosxcial]

Scary part of Sexy

Have you ever sent a nude pic? Or maybe posted something tastefully scandalous?

Have you ever then been scared by the thought of someone revealing your identity?

Posting yourself anonymously is something many people, specifically women, do to gain confidence. Maybe their goal is to promote body positivity or even sex positivity. This is a great vice for people to express themselves in a free space, but this can go wrong when reaching unintended audiences.

When someone is posting to feel better about themselves, some people can take their post and use it to send or say unsolicited things. Another fear of many is having any images posted reverse searched and that leading to the posters identity being revealed.

But, a way to prevent this is posting in safe spaces. Unfortunately, this is not foolproof, but it lets people openly discuss and post sexual content. These spaces provide an escape for people who want to freely express themselves within a community where that is the purpose.

Overall, posting sexual content on social media, although taboo and even at times frightening, it can be done in a safe manner where all parties feel comfortable.

[soosxcial]

What is 'Good Sex'?

In the past, good sex and bad sex have had meanings that derive from prejudice.

When describing good sex as heterosexual, holy, only for reproduction, it completely discards the benefits of sex itself.

Sex, when enjoyed, is actually really healthy for you. it:

boosts your immune system

boosts libido

lowers blood pressure

and relieves overall stress

Pushing the idea that 'bad sex' is gay sex and sex for fun without the goal of reproductions is unhealthy.

Actual good sex is safe sex, consensual sex, and whatever sex you personally enjoy. Sex is not shameful, its a biological desire.

Anxieties surrounding sex are perpetrated by these ideals and these false issues often turn into something more, filled with prejudice.

Sex in general (with certain immoral exceptions) is good sex!