SCIO, SWEETHEART!

[I am asking [You] [h][ow] to endure it.]

[sootsunrise]

intro —

c!wilbur ask / roleplay blog. pfp by @suriandtaal​​​. this is neither the streamer wilbur soot or someone attempting to impersonate him. this is not a kinnie blog. muse uses she/her, admin uses any pronouns. the admin running this is @suriandtaal​​. this blog is part of the resetverse, an open dream smp rp universe.

tags —

#letters : general ask tag, all asks will be tagged as letters unless they are specified to be another character.  #monologues : general talk tag, any ic text posts. #slug lines : tag for descriptive threads #ooc tag : as it says on the tin! #margin sketches: art/fanart tag! #ramblings of a heretic: tag for wilbur’s more existential/agnostic ramblings. #the bard: tag for some of the worldbuilding/lore specific to this blog. #journal pages: wilbur’s journal entries! they are posted as images, but transcripts are under the read more. #[trigger] tw : if anything needs to be tagged, please send me an anon and i will make sure to tag it

[sootsunrise]

Hello, my darling. <3 It's been a while since I've heard from you. Are you alright? What is new in your life? I love you! - @hergoddessofdeath

i don’t w-

[something catches, open-hearted and painful, in her chest. unbidden, she thinks of blindfolds and robes soaked in ichor. she thinks of silent statues.]

[everyone knows wilbur soot is an only child.]

hi, mama. i’m… good. i’m good.

[hergoddessofdeath]

Hehehe!!! Good, my dear. You should write me more often, I never hear from you anymore :( Have you been eating well? How is Fundy? And your friends? Let me feel your forehead, you don't look well...

Is something troubling you? You know you can tell me anything, darling.

[sootsunrise]

[she tries. she really, truly tries. but wilbur flinches when lady death touches her face.]

i- [she lets out a shuddering breath.]

‘m fine, mama. everything is fine.

[sootsunrise]

Hello, my darling. <3 It's been a while since I've heard from you. Are you alright? What is new in your life? I love you! - @hergoddessofdeath

i don’t w-

[something catches, open-hearted and painful, in her chest. unbidden, she thinks of blindfolds and robes soaked in ichor. she thinks of silent statues.]

[everyone knows wilbur soot is an only child.]

hi, mama. i’m… good. i’m good.

[sootsunrise]

hello? I thought I heard someone out he-

(footsteps stop dead in the grass.)

... hello?

-@phoenixchick

[there's still tears in her eyes, capturing the glow of that beautiful, beautiful sunrise. then she turns to face the person behind her, but the light remains- it might always remain, now. she feels like light, at long last.]

...niki?

[phoenixchick]

[and niki... stares. she stares and blinks and she stares some more.]

you’re alive.

[sootsunrise]

[and wilbur’s relief, her true, honest joy, spills over. she takes a shaky, stumbling step forward, hands trembling, tears pouring down her face.]

you know me.

[phoenixchick]

of course i know you.

[she stands in the garden. she can’t move. her hands flit around like hummingbirds, landing on her arms and her skirt and her hair and anywhere but the long-dead albatross in front of her.]

how could i not?

[sootsunrise]

i- i thought you might not- oh, nevermind-

[the fetter breaks. wilbur dashes toward the phoenix, the one who’s been haunting her, in spirit, like she’s the only thing in the world, clasping her fluttering hands, a gesture that reveals the black snake coiled around her wrist.]

oh, niki- niki- 

[her voice chokes in her throat. the rising sun catches her hair, lighting her from behind.]

i missed you.

[phoenixchick]

[and niki does something she had sworn off years ago.]

[nihachu flinches.]

no, you- but you- you’re not supposed to be here. why are you here?

[sootsunrise]

i know, i know, i- i don’t quite understand, i was-

[she drops niki’s hands, the second she sees the flinch. some of the sunlight in her eyes dims.]

i was given another chance. that’s all i know.

[phoenixchick]

that’s not what i mean, i-

[she steps back. she hates herself for it.]

you left me. again.

[sootsunrise]

you- [the sunlight dims some more, not gone- never gone- but reduced to pinpricks in her eyes.]

you left first, niki, you were- you haunted me. [her voice wobbles.] your voice, and the warmth of your feathers, always just around the corner, and yet- and yet-

[she wipes at her eyes, taking shuddering, heavy breaths. trying to keep control. when she looks up, there’s a determination in the set of her jaw.]

don’t you dare tell me i left you. [she sniffles, voice breaking.] not when you left first.

[phoenixchick]

what are you talking about? i- you-

[her head pounds, and for a moment, her vision is filled with static. there’s a hole in her memory where those thoughts should be.]

you ran off with foolish and eret, and- and-

i thought it was going to be different. i thought things would change.

[sootsunrise]

i ran off- eret died, niki, i didn’t just- [she sighs.]

look, does it matter? we were all supposed to die shitty, ignoble deaths, but- but you’re here, and i’m here.

[she reaches, hesitantly, for niki’s hand.]

can’t we just live?

[phoenixchick]

[she hesitates.]

[part of her is screaming in anger. (the part that sounds like an angered goddess.) how dare Wilbur come back to her after disappearing? and act like nothing has happened?]

[the other part of her is so, so relieved. Wilbur is home, after so long.]

[ultimately, love wins over anger. it always does. Niki takes Wilbur's outstretched hand and squeezes.]

okay.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur rests her head against niki’s, letting out a relieved chuckle.]

good gods, i’ve missed you so much, niki, i- [she wipes away a tear, a gesture that tugs the sleeve of her dress up, revealing, once again, the marking around her wrist, shaped like a snake biting its tail.] 

i was so lonely without you, you know that? always so tired, so frightened. [she squeezes the hand clasped in her own.] things are right, now, with you here.

[phoenixchick]

i missed you too. [gently, with the hands of a baker who was never made to fight, she brushes across wilbur’s temple and catches a tear with her thumb.]

[her forehead collides with wilbur’s collarbone, and she sighs. it’s not an angry sigh, or an overly tired one.]

i’m just happy you’re home.

[sootsunrise]

[she buries her nose in niki’s hair, breathing in that smell of bread and ash and roses, the one that has always meant home.]

thank you for letting me come home.

[sootsunrise]

hello? I thought I heard someone out he-

(footsteps stop dead in the grass.)

... hello?

-@phoenixchick

[there's still tears in her eyes, capturing the glow of that beautiful, beautiful sunrise. then she turns to face the person behind her, but the light remains- it might always remain, now. she feels like light, at long last.]

...niki?

[phoenixchick]

[and niki... stares. she stares and blinks and she stares some more.]

you’re alive.

[sootsunrise]

[and wilbur’s relief, her true, honest joy, spills over. she takes a shaky, stumbling step forward, hands trembling, tears pouring down her face.]

you know me.

[phoenixchick]

of course i know you.

[she stands in the garden. she can’t move. her hands flit around like hummingbirds, landing on her arms and her skirt and her hair and anywhere but the long-dead albatross in front of her.]

how could i not?

[sootsunrise]

i- i thought you might not- oh, nevermind-

[the fetter breaks. wilbur dashes toward the phoenix, the one who’s been haunting her, in spirit, like she’s the only thing in the world, clasping her fluttering hands, a gesture that reveals the black snake coiled around her wrist.]

oh, niki- niki- 

[her voice chokes in her throat. the rising sun catches her hair, lighting her from behind.]

i missed you.

[phoenixchick]

[and niki does something she had sworn off years ago.]

[nihachu flinches.]

no, you- but you- you’re not supposed to be here. why are you here?

[sootsunrise]

i know, i know, i- i don’t quite understand, i was-

[she drops niki’s hands, the second she sees the flinch. some of the sunlight in her eyes dims.]

i was given another chance. that’s all i know.

[phoenixchick]

that’s not what i mean, i-

[she steps back. she hates herself for it.]

you left me. again.

[sootsunrise]

you- [the sunlight dims some more, not gone- never gone- but reduced to pinpricks in her eyes.]

you left first, niki, you were- you haunted me. [her voice wobbles.] your voice, and the warmth of your feathers, always just around the corner, and yet- and yet-

[she wipes at her eyes, taking shuddering, heavy breaths. trying to keep control. when she looks up, there’s a determination in the set of her jaw.]

don’t you dare tell me i left you. [she sniffles, voice breaking.] not when you left first.

[phoenixchick]

what are you talking about? i- you-

[her head pounds, and for a moment, her vision is filled with static. there’s a hole in her memory where those thoughts should be.]

you ran off with foolish and eret, and- and-

i thought it was going to be different. i thought things would change.

[sootsunrise]

i ran off- eret died, niki, i didn’t just- [she sighs.]

look, does it matter? we were all supposed to die shitty, ignoble deaths, but- but you’re here, and i’m here.

[she reaches, hesitantly, for niki’s hand.]

can’t we just live?

[phoenixchick]

[she hesitates.]

[part of her is screaming in anger. (the part that sounds like an angered goddess.) how dare Wilbur come back to her after disappearing? and act like nothing has happened?]

[the other part of her is so, so relieved. Wilbur is home, after so long.]

[ultimately, love wins over anger. it always does. Niki takes Wilbur's outstretched hand and squeezes.]

okay.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur rests her head against niki’s, letting out a relieved chuckle.]

good gods, i’ve missed you so much, niki, i- [she wipes away a tear, a gesture that tugs the sleeve of her dress up, revealing, once again, the marking around her wrist, shaped like a snake biting its tail.] 

i was so lonely without you, you know that? always so tired, so frightened. [she squeezes the hand clasped in her own.] things are right, now, with you here.

[sootsunrise]

hello? I thought I heard someone out he-

(footsteps stop dead in the grass.)

... hello?

-@phoenixchick

[there's still tears in her eyes, capturing the glow of that beautiful, beautiful sunrise. then she turns to face the person behind her, but the light remains- it might always remain, now. she feels like light, at long last.]

...niki?

[phoenixchick]

[and niki... stares. she stares and blinks and she stares some more.]

you’re alive.

[sootsunrise]

[and wilbur’s relief, her true, honest joy, spills over. she takes a shaky, stumbling step forward, hands trembling, tears pouring down her face.]

you know me.

[phoenixchick]

of course i know you.

[she stands in the garden. she can’t move. her hands flit around like hummingbirds, landing on her arms and her skirt and her hair and anywhere but the long-dead albatross in front of her.]

how could i not?

[sootsunrise]

i- i thought you might not- oh, nevermind-

[the fetter breaks. wilbur dashes toward the phoenix, the one who’s been haunting her, in spirit, like she’s the only thing in the world, clasping her fluttering hands, a gesture that reveals the black snake coiled around her wrist.]

oh, niki- niki- 

[her voice chokes in her throat. the rising sun catches her hair, lighting her from behind.]

i missed you.

[phoenixchick]

[and niki does something she had sworn off years ago.]

[nihachu flinches.]

no, you- but you- you’re not supposed to be here. why are you here?

[sootsunrise]

i know, i know, i- i don’t quite understand, i was-

[she drops niki’s hands, the second she sees the flinch. some of the sunlight in her eyes dims.]

i was given another chance. that’s all i know.

[phoenixchick]

that’s not what i mean, i-

[she steps back. she hates herself for it.]

you left me. again.

[sootsunrise]

you- [the sunlight dims some more, not gone- never gone- but reduced to pinpricks in her eyes.]

you left first, niki, you were- you haunted me. [her voice wobbles.] your voice, and the warmth of your feathers, always just around the corner, and yet- and yet-

[she wipes at her eyes, taking shuddering, heavy breaths. trying to keep control. when she looks up, there’s a determination in the set of her jaw.]

don’t you dare tell me i left you. [she sniffles, voice breaking.] not when you left first.

[phoenixchick]

what are you talking about? i- you-

[her head pounds, and for a moment, her vision is filled with static. there’s a hole in her memory where those thoughts should be.]

you ran off with foolish and eret, and- and-

i thought it was going to be different. i thought things would change.

[sootsunrise]

i ran off- eret died, niki, i didn’t just- [she sighs.]

look, does it matter? we were all supposed to die shitty, ignoble deaths, but- but you’re here, and i’m here.

[she reaches, hesitantly, for niki’s hand.]

can’t we just live?

[sootsunrise]

hello? I thought I heard someone out he-

(footsteps stop dead in the grass.)

... hello?

-@phoenixchick

[there's still tears in her eyes, capturing the glow of that beautiful, beautiful sunrise. then she turns to face the person behind her, but the light remains- it might always remain, now. she feels like light, at long last.]

...niki?

[phoenixchick]

[and niki... stares. she stares and blinks and she stares some more.]

you’re alive.

[sootsunrise]

[and wilbur’s relief, her true, honest joy, spills over. she takes a shaky, stumbling step forward, hands trembling, tears pouring down her face.]

you know me.

[phoenixchick]

of course i know you.

[she stands in the garden. she can’t move. her hands flit around like hummingbirds, landing on her arms and her skirt and her hair and anywhere but the long-dead albatross in front of her.]

how could i not?

[sootsunrise]

i- i thought you might not- oh, nevermind-

[the fetter breaks. wilbur dashes toward the phoenix, the one who’s been haunting her, in spirit, like she’s the only thing in the world, clasping her fluttering hands, a gesture that reveals the black snake coiled around her wrist.]

oh, niki- niki- 

[her voice chokes in her throat. the rising sun catches her hair, lighting her from behind.]

i missed you.

[phoenixchick]

[and niki does something she had sworn off years ago.]

[nihachu flinches.]

no, you- but you- you’re not supposed to be here. why are you here?

[sootsunrise]

i know, i know, i- i don’t quite understand, i was-

[she drops niki’s hands, the second she sees the flinch. some of the sunlight in her eyes dims.]

i was given another chance. that’s all i know.

[phoenixchick]

that’s not what i mean, i-

[she steps back. she hates herself for it.]

you left me. again.

[sootsunrise]

you- [the sunlight dims some more, not gone- never gone- but reduced to pinpricks in her eyes.]

you left first, niki, you were- you haunted me. [her voice wobbles.] your voice, and the warmth of your feathers, always just around the corner, and yet- and yet-

[she wipes at her eyes, taking shuddering, heavy breaths. trying to keep control. when she looks up, there’s a determination in the set of her jaw.]

don’t you dare tell me i left you. [she sniffles, voice breaking.] not when you left first.

[sootsunrise]

hello? I thought I heard someone out he-

(footsteps stop dead in the grass.)

... hello?

-@phoenixchick

[there's still tears in her eyes, capturing the glow of that beautiful, beautiful sunrise. then she turns to face the person behind her, but the light remains- it might always remain, now. she feels like light, at long last.]

...niki?

[phoenixchick]

[and niki... stares. she stares and blinks and she stares some more.]

you’re alive.

[sootsunrise]

[and wilbur’s relief, her true, honest joy, spills over. she takes a shaky, stumbling step forward, hands trembling, tears pouring down her face.]

you know me.

[phoenixchick]

of course i know you.

[she stands in the garden. she can’t move. her hands flit around like hummingbirds, landing on her arms and her skirt and her hair and anywhere but the long-dead albatross in front of her.]

how could i not?

[sootsunrise]

i- i thought you might not- oh, nevermind-

[the fetter breaks. wilbur dashes toward the phoenix, the one who’s been haunting her, in spirit, like she’s the only thing in the world, clasping her fluttering hands, a gesture that reveals the black snake coiled around her wrist.]

oh, niki- niki- 

[her voice chokes in her throat. the rising sun catches her hair, lighting her from behind.]

i missed you.

[phoenixchick]

[and niki does something she had sworn off years ago.]

[nihachu flinches.]

no, you- but you- you’re not supposed to be here. why are you here?

[sootsunrise]

i know, i know, i- i don’t quite understand, i was-

[she drops niki’s hands, the second she sees the flinch. some of the sunlight in her eyes dims.]

i was given another chance. that’s all i know.

[sootsunrise]

hello? I thought I heard someone out he-

(footsteps stop dead in the grass.)

... hello?

-@phoenixchick

[there's still tears in her eyes, capturing the glow of that beautiful, beautiful sunrise. then she turns to face the person behind her, but the light remains- it might always remain, now. she feels like light, at long last.]

...niki?

[phoenixchick]

[and niki... stares. she stares and blinks and she stares some more.]

you’re alive.

[sootsunrise]

[and wilbur’s relief, her true, honest joy, spills over. she takes a shaky, stumbling step forward, hands trembling, tears pouring down her face.]

you know me.

[phoenixchick]

of course i know you.

[she stands in the garden. she can’t move. her hands flit around like hummingbirds, landing on her arms and her skirt and her hair and anywhere but the long-dead albatross in front of her.]

how could i not?

[sootsunrise]

i- i thought you might not- oh, nevermind-

[the fetter breaks. wilbur dashes toward the phoenix, the one who’s been haunting her, in spirit, like she’s the only thing in the world, clasping her fluttering hands, a gesture that reveals the black snake coiled around her wrist.]

oh, niki- niki- 

[her voice chokes in her throat. the rising sun catches her hair, lighting her from behind.]

i missed you.

[sootsunrise]

hello? I thought I heard someone out he-

(footsteps stop dead in the grass.)

... hello?

-@phoenixchick

[there's still tears in her eyes, capturing the glow of that beautiful, beautiful sunrise. then she turns to face the person behind her, but the light remains- it might always remain, now. she feels like light, at long last.]

...niki?

[phoenixchick]

[and niki... stares. she stares and blinks and she stares some more.]

you’re alive.

[sootsunrise]

[and wilbur’s relief, her true, honest joy, spills over. she takes a shaky, stumbling step forward, hands trembling, tears pouring down her face.]

you know me.

[sootsunrise]

hello? I thought I heard someone out he-

(footsteps stop dead in the grass.)

... hello?

-@phoenixchick

[there's still tears in her eyes, capturing the glow of that beautiful, beautiful sunrise. then she turns to face the person behind her, but the light remains- it might always remain, now. she feels like light, at long last.]

...niki?

[sootsunrise]

televangelism

It was impossible to describe how exactly it felt, being taken to the new world.

Contrary to the god-child’s worries, it didn’t hurt one bit. Wilbur cradled a child she didn’t know to her chest, laughing and weeping and reminiscing and grieving all at once, her skin and the child’s alike flaking away into specks of gleaming gold. 

“We have some time, before you’re gone. Before I have to go.” They hadn’t let go of her for so much as a second. “I can show you what this place looks like- really looks like. To me, at least.”

The void dissipated under their gleaming fingertips, and one by one, the stars emerged into their places, dotting the sky, faster and faster until all Wilbur saw was their sparkle. And oh, gods, the sound... Wilbur had never heard the music the stars made. She remembered her father talking about it, in her childhood days, the sounds that a night sky could make all together, but she’d never heard it, no, not like this. 

The god-child pointed toward a gleaming star, to their east. 

“That one,” they said, “Fly there. I’ll hold on to you.”

They held her close, one last time, and murmured into her shoulder, “I love you, Wil’.”

Wilbur couldn’t tell you much about the journey. She remembers laughing and crying, pressing kisses into warm brown wrists, already dissolving into golden light, and not much else.

But she remembers, and will remember, for every last second of her new life, waking up in the long, dewy grass of a field at dawn, breathing in the smell of wildflowers. A shooting star dashes across the sky, and as she stands, she finds, to her breathless wonder, that the sun is rising. She stares at the clouds of pink and gold and purple and orange and red in wonder, her eyes spilling over with gratitude.

She only spots the ouroboros inked onto her wrist in black much, much later, but just then, she presses a hand to her heart, and murmurs, to the wind, I love you too.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur tosses and turns in her sleep, at rest, in stasis, and yet not at peace.]

mm- l’t me- out-

[and, as if replying to her pleas, it does. her eyes flutter open to an endless, inky void- far from the bed she last remembered being in. she stumbles shakily to her feet, lifting her skirt slightly as she feels something lapping at her feet.]

…hello?

[suriandtaal]

(…hello?)

…well, shit. this is no good.

gimme a moment. i’ll be back.

[sootsunrise]

hello? who are you?

[the sound of moving, rising water grows steadily louder. wilbur tenses, her feathers fluffing up behind her back.]

where are we?

[suriandtaal]

pff.

oh, wilbur. sweet wilbur, i’m sorry i left you this long.

[sootsunrise]

[the voice comes from everywhere, and yet from nowhere. wilbur squints against the dark, and then stops trying to look so hard. she thinks she sees a coiling body. she thinks she sees dragons.]

if this is some- some bullshit from the gods, i really don’t care for it, let me out. i have work to do, i need to save eret, i need to protect foolish-

[suriandtaal]

fuck, that’s right, foolish. 

hey- wilbur, i’m sorry. i am.

none of that matters anymore. you can’t save her, and you can’t protect him.

[sootsunrise]

[something in the air grows heavy when the god- the whatever- mentions foolish. wilbur cannot see anything that resembles a face, and yet she can practically hear the sneer in their voice.]

i don’t think you have any idea what i’m capable of, if you truly believe that.

[the air rustles with the sound of scales, sliding against each other.]

[suriandtaal]

…no idea, huh?

{and suddenly, the goddess deigns to speak in the heretic’s tongue.}

wilbur, babe, i know better than anyone what you’re capable of.

{the darkness erupts open, and from it emerges something ancient, draconic, with flowing manes of night and star and void and water all melted together, opening two bright, impossible eyes at the small, small demigod.}

i made you, after all.

[sootsunrise]

you didn’t m-

{wilbur’s hand slaps itself over her mouth. the other begins to flap its thumb under the other fingers, the universal symbol of “blah blah blah”.}

of course i made you. you think william motherfucking gold would trans your gender? give you wings? bard powers? puh-lease. basic ass white boy would never. 

[the hands drop. wilbur trembles, full-bodied, at the creature towering above her.]

a-alright, alright, i believe you. [she slowly straightens up.] so. you made me. 

[a shakey breath.]

what’s this got to do with eret? 

[suriandtaal]

{the dragon huffs something like a sigh, and… flickers. for a moment, they seem much, much smaller.}

right, uh. you can’t save her anymore. {the large, shining eyes flash with emotion- wilbur finds that she can easily identify the grief in those eyes.}

there’s this- this guy, right? made eret and foolish, the same way i made you. he was-

{the flicker is much more intense, this time. in the split second before the draconic form returns, there is a sillhouette in the dark- a small, round humanoid shape, light glinting off of their glasses from a glowing screen in front of them.}

(god, i can’t fucking do this, i can’t do this i can’t- (can’t can’t) ((can’t)))

right. um.

he was my best friend. more than that. my family. i was so, so devoted to him, he was- my whole world. we told your stories together, wove them together, together, because we never wanted not to be together. 

and he left. he, uh-

{another flicker.}

he hurt me. deep. and he took eret and foolish away with him.

i’m sorry, wilbur.

[sootsunrise]

[the thought won’t stop resonating around in her mind- they’re just gone. completely gone, by the whims of someone she’d never even known existed.]

i-

[what surprises wilbur perhaps even more is the sheer heartache that the waver in the dragon’s voice awakens in her. against her own will, she’s reminded of fundy, his ears flattening back against his head, the rain soaking both of them to the bone as he admits to her, i’m lonely, i’m lonely.]

i’m sorry too, my darling. 

[she doesn’t know where it comes from- all she knows is something deep in her heart, in her instincts, screams at her, protect this.]

[suriandtaal]

{this is the final blow to the flickering draconic form- the small humanoid figure stands, approaching from the darkness. as he steps forward, the light follows, revealing warm brown skin, messy, shoulder-length black hair, tired, dark brown eyes, underscored with deep bags. their t-shirt is baggy and oversized- one sleeve falls off of her shoulder.}

god, you’re too good to me. {she sounds completely spent, mumbled, a world away from the confident rumble of the dragon that had been in their place before.}

okay- listen. you’re here because you need to choose, okay? the person you were trying to save is gone. so is the man you loved. 

{he swallows, hard.}

there’s a way out for you. drista found a way out- i think she broke something in the process, but she did. you can take it, if you want, but- i can’t promise anyone you know- anyone you love- will know you.

{the dark water ripples around their ankles. they will not make eye contact with wilbur.}

or… you can go. you can choose to follow eret and foolish and all the people you loved into the dark. i know you were willing before. i didn’t want to rip you away from them like that.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur considers the short, curvy person in front of her- emotion and honesty both drip from her words, but she gets the sense there’s something they’re not telling her.]

…so, i can die, or i can live like a ghost. 

[she laughs, a dull, humorless laugh.] i’ve been doing both of things for years. this is hardly the biggest choice to be faced with. though i suppose that’s by your design.

[suriandtaal]

{their brow furrows. their shoulders begin to shake.}

m- maybe, but- you don’t get it, you’ll never get it, i-

{and they do the unthinkable, twice in a row: first, looking up to meet her gaze, quickly followed by the realization that they’re crying, chest heaving up and down, face streaked with tears, eyes shiny.}

i don’t want you to die, wil’!

{they scrub at their face in vain, but it’s too late. wilbur is in a watery void, with a dead world and a god asking her to abandon it- but they’re not really a god, huh? just a kid. small and crying into their arm. just a kid.}

i don’t want you to die. you- you made me so happy, i- when i had nothing else to live for, i told myself that i had to keep telling your story, that you were waiting for me.

{they laugh, wetly, wiping at their eyes with a mirthless laugh to match wilbur’s own.}

i don’t want you to die. i really don’t. {they smile up at her- wilbur’s never seen such a sad smile.} but i don’t know how not to want to die. so you don’t know, either. 

{they giggle, burying their face in their hands.}

isn’t that funny, wil’? i’m s’posed to be some kinda god, and i don’t know any better than you. sorry you had to find out this way.

[sootsunrise]

[before she knows what she’s doing, wilbur has her arms and wings around the god-child. it’s almost funny- she wasn’t expecting them to be warm. the child buries their face into wilbur’s chest and sobs, and through it all, she remains silent, stroking their hair, picking out tangles with her fingers. it’s a while before she speaks again.]

you’re right, i don’t know how to want that. [she sighs, tucking some of the child’s hair behind their ear.] even now, i can’t shake the feeling that i need to just- disappear, right along with everyone i loved.

[she tilts their chin up, gently, so that their eyes meet.]

but there’s a new feeling. a stronger one.

[and wilbur soot grins.]

i don’t know to want that. but i think i’d like to learn, if you’ll let me.

[suriandtaal]

{the god-child wipes her tears. their eyes are a little red. he looks very young right now.}

i can’t promise it’ll be better. i can’t promise it won’t hurt. 

{their eyes are still shining with unshed tears when they glance up at wilbur.}

is- is that okay?

[sootsunrise]

my dear, you’re giving me a second chance. [wilbur chuckles, a low, warm sound in her chest.] it’s more than okay.

[she says the next part softly, too softly for anyone but the two of them to hear, even if anyone else had been around.]

you have nothing to be sorry for. and i forgive you, anyway.

[suriandtaal]

{the god-child closes their eyes, and goes completely boneless, wrapping their arms around the heretic. when they speak, their voice is breathless with relief, with the freedom from a burden they hadn’t realized they were holding.}

okay, wil’. i believe you. okay.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur tosses and turns in her sleep, at rest, in stasis, and yet not at peace.]

mm- l’t me- out-

[and, as if replying to her pleas, it does. her eyes flutter open to an endless, inky void- far from the bed she last remembered being in. she stumbles shakily to her feet, lifting her skirt slightly as she feels something lapping at her feet.]

…hello?

[suriandtaal]

(…hello?)

…well, shit. this is no good.

gimme a moment. i’ll be back.

[sootsunrise]

hello? who are you?

[the sound of moving, rising water grows steadily louder. wilbur tenses, her feathers fluffing up behind her back.]

where are we?

[suriandtaal]

pff.

oh, wilbur. sweet wilbur, i’m sorry i left you this long.

[sootsunrise]

[the voice comes from everywhere, and yet from nowhere. wilbur squints against the dark, and then stops trying to look so hard. she thinks she sees a coiling body. she thinks she sees dragons.]

if this is some- some bullshit from the gods, i really don’t care for it, let me out. i have work to do, i need to save eret, i need to protect foolish-

[suriandtaal]

fuck, that’s right, foolish. 

hey- wilbur, i’m sorry. i am.

none of that matters anymore. you can’t save her, and you can’t protect him.

[sootsunrise]

[something in the air grows heavy when the god- the whatever- mentions foolish. wilbur cannot see anything that resembles a face, and yet she can practically hear the sneer in their voice.]

i don’t think you have any idea what i’m capable of, if you truly believe that.

[the air rustles with the sound of scales, sliding against each other.]

[suriandtaal]

…no idea, huh?

{and suddenly, the goddess deigns to speak in the heretic’s tongue.}

wilbur, babe, i know better than anyone what you’re capable of.

{the darkness erupts open, and from it emerges something ancient, draconic, with flowing manes of night and star and void and water all melted together, opening two bright, impossible eyes at the small, small demigod.}

i made you, after all.

[sootsunrise]

you didn’t m-

{wilbur’s hand slaps itself over her mouth. the other begins to flap its thumb under the other fingers, the universal symbol of “blah blah blah”.}

of course i made you. you think william motherfucking gold would trans your gender? give you wings? bard powers? puh-lease. basic ass white boy would never. 

[the hands drop. wilbur trembles, full-bodied, at the creature towering above her.]

a-alright, alright, i believe you. [she slowly straightens up.] so. you made me. 

[a shakey breath.]

what’s this got to do with eret? 

[suriandtaal]

{the dragon huffs something like a sigh, and… flickers. for a moment, they seem much, much smaller.}

right, uh. you can’t save her anymore. {the large, shining eyes flash with emotion- wilbur finds that she can easily identify the grief in those eyes.}

there’s this- this guy, right? made eret and foolish, the same way i made you. he was-

{the flicker is much more intense, this time. in the split second before the draconic form returns, there is a sillhouette in the dark- a small, round humanoid shape, light glinting off of their glasses from a glowing screen in front of them.}

(god, i can’t fucking do this, i can’t do this i can’t- (can’t can’t) ((can’t)))

right. um.

he was my best friend. more than that. my family. i was so, so devoted to him, he was- my whole world. we told your stories together, wove them together, together, because we never wanted not to be together. 

and he left. he, uh-

{another flicker.}

he hurt me. deep. and he took eret and foolish away with him.

i’m sorry, wilbur.

[sootsunrise]

[the thought won’t stop resonating around in her mind- they’re just gone. completely gone, by the whims of someone she’d never even known existed.]

i-

[what surprises wilbur perhaps even more is the sheer heartache that the waver in the dragon’s voice awakens in her. against her own will, she’s reminded of fundy, his ears flattening back against his head, the rain soaking both of them to the bone as he admits to her, i’m lonely, i’m lonely.]

i’m sorry too, my darling. 

[she doesn’t know where it comes from- all she knows is something deep in her heart, in her instincts, screams at her, protect this.]

[suriandtaal]

{this is the final blow to the flickering draconic form- the small humanoid figure stands, approaching from the darkness. as he steps forward, the light follows, revealing warm brown skin, messy, shoulder-length black hair, tired, dark brown eyes, underscored with deep bags. their t-shirt is baggy and oversized- one sleeve falls off of her shoulder.}

god, you’re too good to me. {she sounds completely spent, mumbled, a world away from the confident rumble of the dragon that had been in their place before.}

okay- listen. you’re here because you need to choose, okay? the person you were trying to save is gone. so is the man you loved. 

{he swallows, hard.}

there’s a way out for you. drista found a way out- i think she broke something in the process, but she did. you can take it, if you want, but- i can’t promise anyone you know- anyone you love- will know you.

{the dark water ripples around their ankles. they will not make eye contact with wilbur.}

or… you can go. you can choose to follow eret and foolish and all the people you loved into the dark. i know you were willing before. i didn’t want to rip you away from them like that.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur considers the short, curvy person in front of her- emotion and honesty both drip from her words, but she gets the sense there’s something they’re not telling her.]

…so, i can die, or i can live like a ghost. 

[she laughs, a dull, humorless laugh.] i’ve been doing both of things for years. this is hardly the biggest choice to be faced with. though i suppose that’s by your design.

[suriandtaal]

{their brow furrows. their shoulders begin to shake.}

m- maybe, but- you don’t get it, you’ll never get it, i-

{and they do the unthinkable, twice in a row: first, looking up to meet her gaze, quickly followed by the realization that they’re crying, chest heaving up and down, face streaked with tears, eyes shiny.}

i don’t want you to die, wil’!

{they scrub at their face in vain, but it’s too late. wilbur is in a watery void, with a dead world and a god asking her to abandon it- but they’re not really a god, huh? just a kid. small and crying into their arm. just a kid.}

i don’t want you to die. you- you made me so happy, i- when i had nothing else to live for, i told myself that i had to keep telling your story, that you were waiting for me.

{they laugh, wetly, wiping at their eyes with a mirthless laugh to match wilbur’s own.}

i don’t want you to die. i really don’t. {they smile up at her- wilbur’s never seen such a sad smile.} but i don’t know how not to want to die. so you don’t know, either. 

{they giggle, burying their face in their hands.}

isn’t that funny, wil’? i’m s’posed to be some kinda god, and i don’t know any better than you. sorry you had to find out this way.

[sootsunrise]

[before she knows what she’s doing, wilbur has her arms and wings around the god-child. it’s almost funny- she wasn’t expecting them to be warm. the child buries their face into wilbur’s chest and sobs, and through it all, she remains silent, stroking their hair, picking out tangles with her fingers. it’s a while before she speaks again.]

you’re right, i don’t know how to want that. [she sighs, tucking some of the child’s hair behind their ear.] even now, i can’t shake the feeling that i need to just- disappear, right along with everyone i loved.

[she tilts their chin up, gently, so that their eyes meet.]

but there’s a new feeling. a stronger one.

[and wilbur soot grins.]

i don’t know to want that. but i think i’d like to learn, if you’ll let me.

[suriandtaal]

{the god-child wipes her tears. their eyes are a little red. he looks very young right now.}

i can’t promise it’ll be better. i can’t promise it won’t hurt. 

{their eyes are still shining with unshed tears when they glance up at wilbur.}

is- is that okay?

[sootsunrise]

my dear, you’re giving me a second chance. [wilbur chuckles, a low, warm sound in her chest.] it’s more than okay.

[she says the next part softly, too softly for anyone but the two of them to hear, even if anyone else had been around.]

you have nothing to be sorry for. and i forgive you, anyway.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur tosses and turns in her sleep, at rest, in stasis, and yet not at peace.]

mm- l’t me- out-

[and, as if replying to her pleas, it does. her eyes flutter open to an endless, inky void- far from the bed she last remembered being in. she stumbles shakily to her feet, lifting her skirt slightly as she feels something lapping at her feet.]

…hello?

[suriandtaal]

(…hello?)

…well, shit. this is no good.

gimme a moment. i’ll be back.

[sootsunrise]

hello? who are you?

[the sound of moving, rising water grows steadily louder. wilbur tenses, her feathers fluffing up behind her back.]

where are we?

[suriandtaal]

pff.

oh, wilbur. sweet wilbur, i’m sorry i left you this long.

[sootsunrise]

[the voice comes from everywhere, and yet from nowhere. wilbur squints against the dark, and then stops trying to look so hard. she thinks she sees a coiling body. she thinks she sees dragons.]

if this is some- some bullshit from the gods, i really don’t care for it, let me out. i have work to do, i need to save eret, i need to protect foolish-

[suriandtaal]

fuck, that’s right, foolish. 

hey- wilbur, i’m sorry. i am.

none of that matters anymore. you can’t save her, and you can’t protect him.

[sootsunrise]

[something in the air grows heavy when the god- the whatever- mentions foolish. wilbur cannot see anything that resembles a face, and yet she can practically hear the sneer in their voice.]

i don’t think you have any idea what i’m capable of, if you truly believe that.

[the air rustles with the sound of scales, sliding against each other.]

[suriandtaal]

…no idea, huh?

{and suddenly, the goddess deigns to speak in the heretic’s tongue.}

wilbur, babe, i know better than anyone what you’re capable of.

{the darkness erupts open, and from it emerges something ancient, draconic, with flowing manes of night and star and void and water all melted together, opening two bright, impossible eyes at the small, small demigod.}

i made you, after all.

[sootsunrise]

you didn’t m-

{wilbur’s hand slaps itself over her mouth. the other begins to flap its thumb under the other fingers, the universal symbol of “blah blah blah”.}

of course i made you. you think william motherfucking gold would trans your gender? give you wings? bard powers? puh-lease. basic ass white boy would never. 

[the hands drop. wilbur trembles, full-bodied, at the creature towering above her.]

a-alright, alright, i believe you. [she slowly straightens up.] so. you made me. 

[a shakey breath.]

what’s this got to do with eret? 

[suriandtaal]

{the dragon huffs something like a sigh, and… flickers. for a moment, they seem much, much smaller.}

right, uh. you can’t save her anymore. {the large, shining eyes flash with emotion- wilbur finds that she can easily identify the grief in those eyes.}

there’s this- this guy, right? made eret and foolish, the same way i made you. he was-

{the flicker is much more intense, this time. in the split second before the draconic form returns, there is a sillhouette in the dark- a small, round humanoid shape, light glinting off of their glasses from a glowing screen in front of them.}

(god, i can’t fucking do this, i can’t do this i can’t- (can’t can’t) ((can’t)))

right. um.

he was my best friend. more than that. my family. i was so, so devoted to him, he was- my whole world. we told your stories together, wove them together, together, because we never wanted not to be together. 

and he left. he, uh-

{another flicker.}

he hurt me. deep. and he took eret and foolish away with him.

i’m sorry, wilbur.

[sootsunrise]

[the thought won’t stop resonating around in her mind- they’re just gone. completely gone, by the whims of someone she’d never even known existed.]

i-

[what surprises wilbur perhaps even more is the sheer heartache that the waver in the dragon’s voice awakens in her. against her own will, she’s reminded of fundy, his ears flattening back against his head, the rain soaking both of them to the bone as he admits to her, i’m lonely, i’m lonely.]

i’m sorry too, my darling. 

[she doesn’t know where it comes from- all she knows is something deep in her heart, in her instincts, screams at her, protect this.]

[suriandtaal]

{this is the final blow to the flickering draconic form- the small humanoid figure stands, approaching from the darkness. as he steps forward, the light follows, revealing warm brown skin, messy, shoulder-length black hair, tired, dark brown eyes, underscored with deep bags. their t-shirt is baggy and oversized- one sleeve falls off of her shoulder.}

god, you’re too good to me. {she sounds completely spent, mumbled, a world away from the confident rumble of the dragon that had been in their place before.}

okay- listen. you’re here because you need to choose, okay? the person you were trying to save is gone. so is the man you loved. 

{he swallows, hard.}

there’s a way out for you. drista found a way out- i think she broke something in the process, but she did. you can take it, if you want, but- i can’t promise anyone you know- anyone you love- will know you.

{the dark water ripples around their ankles. they will not make eye contact with wilbur.}

or… you can go. you can choose to follow eret and foolish and all the people you loved into the dark. i know you were willing before. i didn’t want to rip you away from them like that.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur considers the short, curvy person in front of her- emotion and honesty both drip from her words, but she gets the sense there’s something they’re not telling her.]

…so, i can die, or i can live like a ghost. 

[she laughs, a dull, humorless laugh.] i’ve been doing both of things for years. this is hardly the biggest choice to be faced with. though i suppose that’s by your design.

[suriandtaal]

{their brow furrows. their shoulders begin to shake.}

m- maybe, but- you don’t get it, you’ll never get it, i-

{and they do the unthinkable, twice in a row: first, looking up to meet her gaze, quickly followed by the realization that they’re crying, chest heaving up and down, face streaked with tears, eyes shiny.}

i don’t want you to die, wil’!

{they scrub at their face in vain, but it’s too late. wilbur is in a watery void, with a dead world and a god asking her to abandon it- but they’re not really a god, huh? just a kid. small and crying into their arm. just a kid.}

i don’t want you to die. you- you made me so happy, i- when i had nothing else to live for, i told myself that i had to keep telling your story, that you were waiting for me.

{they laugh, wetly, wiping at their eyes with a mirthless laugh to match wilbur’s own.}

i don’t want you to die. i really don’t. {they smile up at her- wilbur’s never seen such a sad smile.} but i don’t know how not to want to die. so you don’t know, either. 

{they giggle, burying their face in their hands.}

isn’t that funny, wil’? i’m s’posed to be some kinda god, and i don’t know any better than you. sorry you had to find out this way.

[sootsunrise]

[before she knows what she’s doing, wilbur has her arms and wings around the god-child. it’s almost funny- she wasn’t expecting them to be warm. the child buries their face into wilbur’s chest and sobs, and through it all, she remains silent, stroking their hair, picking out tangles with her fingers. it’s a while before she speaks again.]

you’re right, i don’t know how to want that. [she sighs, tucking some of the child’s hair behind their ear.] even now, i can’t shake the feeling that i need to just- disappear, right along with everyone i loved.

[she tilts their chin up, gently, so that their eyes meet.]

but there’s a new feeling. a stronger one.

[and wilbur soot grins.]

i don’t know to want that. but i think i’d like to learn, if you’ll let me.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur tosses and turns in her sleep, at rest, in stasis, and yet not at peace.]

mm- l’t me- out-

[and, as if replying to her pleas, it does. her eyes flutter open to an endless, inky void- far from the bed she last remembered being in. she stumbles shakily to her feet, lifting her skirt slightly as she feels something lapping at her feet.]

…hello?

[suriandtaal]

(…hello?)

…well, shit. this is no good.

gimme a moment. i’ll be back.

[sootsunrise]

hello? who are you?

[the sound of moving, rising water grows steadily louder. wilbur tenses, her feathers fluffing up behind her back.]

where are we?

[suriandtaal]

pff.

oh, wilbur. sweet wilbur, i’m sorry i left you this long.

[sootsunrise]

[the voice comes from everywhere, and yet from nowhere. wilbur squints against the dark, and then stops trying to look so hard. she thinks she sees a coiling body. she thinks she sees dragons.]

if this is some- some bullshit from the gods, i really don’t care for it, let me out. i have work to do, i need to save eret, i need to protect foolish-

[suriandtaal]

fuck, that’s right, foolish. 

hey- wilbur, i’m sorry. i am.

none of that matters anymore. you can’t save her, and you can’t protect him.

[sootsunrise]

[something in the air grows heavy when the god- the whatever- mentions foolish. wilbur cannot see anything that resembles a face, and yet she can practically hear the sneer in their voice.]

i don’t think you have any idea what i’m capable of, if you truly believe that.

[the air rustles with the sound of scales, sliding against each other.]

[suriandtaal]

…no idea, huh?

{and suddenly, the goddess deigns to speak in the heretic’s tongue.}

wilbur, babe, i know better than anyone what you’re capable of.

{the darkness erupts open, and from it emerges something ancient, draconic, with flowing manes of night and star and void and water all melted together, opening two bright, impossible eyes at the small, small demigod.}

i made you, after all.

[sootsunrise]

you didn’t m-

{wilbur’s hand slaps itself over her mouth. the other begins to flap its thumb under the other fingers, the universal symbol of “blah blah blah”.}

of course i made you. you think william motherfucking gold would trans your gender? give you wings? bard powers? puh-lease. basic ass white boy would never. 

[the hands drop. wilbur trembles, full-bodied, at the creature towering above her.]

a-alright, alright, i believe you. [she slowly straightens up.] so. you made me. 

[a shakey breath.]

what’s this got to do with eret? 

[suriandtaal]

{the dragon huffs something like a sigh, and… flickers. for a moment, they seem much, much smaller.}

right, uh. you can’t save her anymore. {the large, shining eyes flash with emotion- wilbur finds that she can easily identify the grief in those eyes.}

there’s this- this guy, right? made eret and foolish, the same way i made you. he was-

{the flicker is much more intense, this time. in the split second before the draconic form returns, there is a sillhouette in the dark- a small, round humanoid shape, light glinting off of their glasses from a glowing screen in front of them.}

(god, i can’t fucking do this, i can’t do this i can’t- (can’t can’t) ((can’t)))

right. um.

he was my best friend. more than that. my family. i was so, so devoted to him, he was- my whole world. we told your stories together, wove them together, together, because we never wanted not to be together. 

and he left. he, uh-

{another flicker.}

he hurt me. deep. and he took eret and foolish away with him.

i’m sorry, wilbur.

[sootsunrise]

[the thought won’t stop resonating around in her mind- they’re just gone. completely gone, by the whims of someone she’d never even known existed.]

i-

[what surprises wilbur perhaps even more is the sheer heartache that the waver in the dragon’s voice awakens in her. against her own will, she’s reminded of fundy, his ears flattening back against his head, the rain soaking both of them to the bone as he admits to her, i’m lonely, i’m lonely.]

i’m sorry too, my darling. 

[she doesn’t know where it comes from- all she knows is something deep in her heart, in her instincts, screams at her, protect this.]

[suriandtaal]

{this is the final blow to the flickering draconic form- the small humanoid figure stands, approaching from the darkness. as he steps forward, the light follows, revealing warm brown skin, messy, shoulder-length black hair, tired, dark brown eyes, underscored with deep bags. their t-shirt is baggy and oversized- one sleeve falls off of her shoulder.}

god, you’re too good to me. {she sounds completely spent, mumbled, a world away from the confident rumble of the dragon that had been in their place before.}

okay- listen. you’re here because you need to choose, okay? the person you were trying to save is gone. so is the man you loved. 

{he swallows, hard.}

there’s a way out for you. drista found a way out- i think she broke something in the process, but she did. you can take it, if you want, but- i can’t promise anyone you know- anyone you love- will know you.

{the dark water ripples around their ankles. they will not make eye contact with wilbur.}

or… you can go. you can choose to follow eret and foolish and all the people you loved into the dark. i know you were willing before. i didn’t want to rip you away from them like that.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur considers the short, curvy person in front of her- emotion and honesty both drip from her words, but she gets the sense there’s something they’re not telling her.]

...so, i can die, or i can live like a ghost. 

[she laughs, a dull, humorless laugh.] i’ve been doing both of things for years. this is hardly the biggest choice to be faced with. though i suppose that’s by your design.

[sootsunrise]

[wilbur tosses and turns in her sleep, at rest, in stasis, and yet not at peace.]

mm- l’t me- out-

[and, as if replying to her pleas, it does. her eyes flutter open to an endless, inky void- far from the bed she last remembered being in. she stumbles shakily to her feet, lifting her skirt slightly as she feels something lapping at her feet.]

…hello?

[suriandtaal]

(…hello?)

…well, shit. this is no good.

gimme a moment. i’ll be back.

[sootsunrise]

hello? who are you?

[the sound of moving, rising water grows steadily louder. wilbur tenses, her feathers fluffing up behind her back.]

where are we?

[suriandtaal]

pff.

oh, wilbur. sweet wilbur, i’m sorry i left you this long.

[sootsunrise]

[the voice comes from everywhere, and yet from nowhere. wilbur squints against the dark, and then stops trying to look so hard. she thinks she sees a coiling body. she thinks she sees dragons.]

if this is some- some bullshit from the gods, i really don’t care for it, let me out. i have work to do, i need to save eret, i need to protect foolish-

[suriandtaal]

fuck, that’s right, foolish. 

hey- wilbur, i’m sorry. i am.

none of that matters anymore. you can’t save her, and you can’t protect him.

[sootsunrise]

[something in the air grows heavy when the god- the whatever- mentions foolish. wilbur cannot see anything that resembles a face, and yet she can practically hear the sneer in their voice.]

i don’t think you have any idea what i’m capable of, if you truly believe that.

[the air rustles with the sound of scales, sliding against each other.]

[suriandtaal]

…no idea, huh?

{and suddenly, the goddess deigns to speak in the heretic’s tongue.}

wilbur, babe, i know better than anyone what you’re capable of.

{the darkness erupts open, and from it emerges something ancient, draconic, with flowing manes of night and star and void and water all melted together, opening two bright, impossible eyes at the small, small demigod.}

i made you, after all.

[sootsunrise]

you didn’t m-

{wilbur’s hand slaps itself over her mouth. the other begins to flap its thumb under the other fingers, the universal symbol of “blah blah blah”.}

of course i made you. you think william motherfucking gold would trans your gender? give you wings? bard powers? puh-lease. basic ass white boy would never. 

[the hands drop. wilbur trembles, full-bodied, at the creature towering above her.]

a-alright, alright, i believe you. [she slowly straightens up.] so. you made me. 

[a shakey breath.]

what’s this got to do with eret? 

[suriandtaal]

{the dragon huffs something like a sigh, and… flickers. for a moment, they seem much, much smaller.}

right, uh. you can’t save her anymore. {the large, shining eyes flash with emotion- wilbur finds that she can easily identify the grief in those eyes.}

there’s this- this guy, right? made eret and foolish, the same way i made you. he was-

{the flicker is much more intense, this time. in the split second before the draconic form returns, there is a sillhouette in the dark- a small, round humanoid shape, light glinting off of their glasses from a glowing screen in front of them.}

(god, i can’t fucking do this, i can’t do this i can’t- (can’t can’t) ((can’t)))

right. um.

he was my best friend. more than that. my family. i was so, so devoted to him, he was- my whole world. we told your stories together, wove them together, together, because we never wanted not to be together. 

and he left. he, uh-

{another flicker.}

he hurt me. deep. and he took eret and foolish away with him.

i’m sorry, wilbur.

[sootsunrise]

[the thought won’t stop resonating around in her mind- they’re just gone. completely gone, by the whims of someone she’d never even known existed.]

i-

[what surprises wilbur perhaps even more is the sheer heartache that the waver in the dragon’s voice awakens in her. against her own will, she’s reminded of fundy, his ears flattening back against his head, the rain soaking both of them to the bone as he admits to her, i’m lonely, i’m lonely.]

i’m sorry too, my darling. 

[she doesn’t know where it comes from- all she knows is something deep in her heart, in her instincts, screams at her, protect this.]