Things are sort of upside down. I feel like I'm falling for one of my dearest favourite friends (we had really drunk sex at the weekend after a crazy night out and I when we spoke about it we agreed to "not make a habit of it" but I so want to). I'd rather have him as my bud than not at all though. New house is really nice, the girls I live with now are lovely and the rent is only £335pcm so I should be able to save some money which is nice. My spine has been worse than ever, I've lost the feeling in my right leg due to the herniated disc trapping my sciatic nerve. The spinal outpatient clinic took one look at my MRI from last week and said there's nothing they can do so I'm now waiting for an appointment with the neurosurgical team to sort out spinal surgery. Which I'm sure will be great fun. Work have already been shitty about me being signed off by the dr for 9 days for my back so there is now a chance if I'm off for a couple of months recovering from major spinal surgery I could lose my job. A job I really love and enjoy. A job that pays my rent. I saw some quite nice dogs today. And a cute cat. Gaining more friends (if I don't get drunk with and sleep with them all that is), though still incredibly lonely and a bit of a shit friend as always. Been on a few shitty tinder/okc dates. Debated jumping off the bridge but I can't drive to get there, and can't walk that far and couldn't climb over the railing. Yay spine. Tried reaching out to a few people but I've been such a fuck of a friend in the past I generally just don't hear back from people, or those I do I get too scared to speak to again. So I guess things are ok.
amandla
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