@soponyz - Tumblr Blog

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

crow--teeth

For context

brucebocchi

radiofreederry

murraysiskind-deactivated202406

We are receiving unconfirmed reports that it is bedtime. Citizens are advised to get into their pajamas and remain on high alert

catchymemes

debellatis

This is.... Absurdly cute. What the fuck.

gallusrostromegalus

It's worth noting that the reason the beaver wants the water to be deeper in the first place is that the Beaver is using the deep water as a pantry:

All summer and fall, beavers gather up branches with the leaves they actually eat, and store it in the deep end of the Pond, where the cold water and limited oxygen keep the leaves fresh all winter, so when it's negative 20 outside, a beaver can take a dip out of it's lodge, grab some refrigerated leaves in the (relatively) warmer water and go back to it's cozy little nap hole while everything else is out there suffering and eating bark or the like.

So it's less "there's a leak in my house" and more "OH SHIT THE FRIDGE!!"

localairport

Sorry we're cancelling your flight because the plane is not feeling well

crow--teeth

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

crow--teeth

For context

onlyonekenobi

i am a lover. but underneath that i'm a hater. and then underneath that i'm a lover again

only-tiktoks

byjove

What if there was a immature young man who worked as a cook in a fast food restaurant and could not get a driver’s license despite his best efforts? Now imagine he is a sponge.

bellossom

me when I "mysteriously" feel better after I "have something to eat"

c3rvida3

Doctor said I only have to do four hours of therapy a week instead of seven. I am the pina colada of mental health.

c3rvida3

I meant to say “pinnacle”, not “pina colada”. The telephone is a cruel mistress. I am so healthy, still.

bashircore

This tweet has changed my life btw

bashircore

Here’s a guide of what I’ve determined the meanings to be

walking around - self explanatory

fellowship - hanging out with friends

deliciousness - having something tasty

transcendence - feeling that you have reached a different level of some sort; alternatively, when you do one of the other delights to the extreme and feel really good about it. (you know transcendence when it happens)

goofing - having a good laugh at smth

amelioration - working towards the betterment of something, for example, working on a skill you hope to improve

coitus - fuckin’

enthralment - becoming incredibly engaged in something, hyper focusing on something

wildcard - anything that you feel was a delight in your day that does not fit one of the above delights

prince-luffy

I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.