こんにちは

hello! i'm sophenia, 15, living in singapore. 日本語を勉強しています〜 よろしくお願いします！ cute anime boys give me life ｡ﾟ+.(*`･∀･´*)ﾟ+.ﾟ

[sorarrru]

....

so the late night thought r back and this time i can't seem to shake them off so here we gooOoOoOo lol i even reinstalled tumblr on my phone for this right. so lately i've been thinking about the future a lot because it's kind of what everyone's been talking about since the year started and i just feel really scared about my future? like i can't even choose what subjects i honestly like and am interested in i don't even have an actual hobby for gods sake and everyone seems to know what they want and where they want to go and i just feel so lost and confused because i really really just can't decide ;-; and like i may have 1 or 2 interests but they're not exactly very practical and aren't really very stable jobs to have and maybe my parents might be fine with that but idk ?? I'd never have to guts to bring it up to them anyway knowing myself like it's been 8 years i still don't tell people that i actually want to pick up piano or something which is kind of stupid if you think about it. but it's just really risky and what if it's not worth it?? like i'm really interested in it but i'm forever stuck at the whole "if it's meant to be it will be" vs "if you want it work for it" thing and it just eats at me every single time i think about it. and also the "what if what you love isn't what you're meant to do" thing it scares me and I hate it but it could very well be true.. because honestly i'm not good or talented at anything and it just makes me even more scared about whether I should even try and chase after these stupid little childish dreams of mine that refuse to leave my mind and let me forget about them. and the future just scares me because i'm really afraid i'll amount to nothing and let down my parents my family my friends and everyone who seem to think I can do things when I really honestly can't. and it's so scary I hate thinking about it even though everyone says it's important to think carefully. but I just don't want to and I can't orz also I know a lot of people say i'm totally not an introvert. they laugh at that and ask how it's even possible, I seem to get along with everyone?? and it sometimes makes me happy to know that people think i'm outgoing and nice to hang out with, that i'm able to talk to people and make them kind of comfortable? but then sometimes (now) it makes me feel really sad and horrible. because doesn't that mean that everyone just doesn't know the amount of shit that goes on in my head?? i'm literally always filtering my thoughts and words and I can never truthfully say what I feel and i'm always trying my best to be a little more normal. and I always try not to say things that might embarrass myself or make people mock me because i'm too scared of judgement. and i've never been 100% honest and truthful with anyone with my thoughts like literally not even my family knows me entirely and sometimes I think that's scary because ?? I have secrets i've been hiding since I was 7 and I literally started hiding tears at like 9 and what if i've gotten so good at it that nobody can tell what's real or fake anymore??? i try to smile all the time and brush off any anger or annoyance or sadness I ever feel to avoid conflict and it sucks? and nobody can ever tell and it sucks even more because sometimes I wish I didn't have to do that?? but what can I do when i'm so used to hiding my emotions and thoughts that the thought of not doing it scares me because I mean - how would people even take it?? obviously not very well i'm sure they'd judge and it'd make things awkward and I hate that. but it sucks and I hate that too. and I know i've said this before but I just wish there was someone I could talk about all these to, someone who's willing to sit and listen because I feel like nobody ever does?? I always try so hard to listen and even if I couldn't care any less I sit and listen because it feels so horrible when nobody wants to listen to you and not even at home and when everyone just fucking hates you when you mumble? sorry I mumble because i'm so tired and it takes so much courage and energy out of me to even say what I say but nobody really cares anyway. i'm tired of talking to myself and trying to let people know I need someone to listen but they just laugh when I tell them I talk to myself and say it's funny but it's not and I think it's so pathetic. I just want someone to listen and not say anything. I don't need advice and certainly not judgement but I just need someone. someone to talk to and someone who can let me know that my secret and my thoughts are safe with them and someone whom I can just trust and someone. who will just. listen. I don't think it's that hard. I don't know I just feel like I try so hard for others but nobody can be bothered about me and it feels kinda shitty too. it just scares me sometimes that like what - 6 years later and I still haven't been able to let a lot of things of my chest and so many things are still very much the same. I think so much and ramble so much but only to myself and only ever. to myself. and 6 years and nobody still wants to listen and i'm so tired of just finding someone to do that. and how 6 years later I sometimes feel more tired at home than anywhere else because I get picked on for everything and as a joke or not it hurts. the way I talk, look, dress and do literally everything becomes a topic of complaint and its so tiring because I just want to be able to do things without caring about what others think and i'm not even allowed that at home. i can't mumble I can't be lazy I can't be selfish I can't even just talk. it's so tiring because the only place I can do all of that is in the toilet?? or when i'm just alone at home locked up in my room?? and I love those days because I just do what I do and nobody is around to say anything and it feels so good I think this has been a really sad and angry post but it's been so log and nothing has changed except maybe somethings got a bit worse which sucks. life doesn't exactly suck but it could be better and i'm just tired of hugging my secrets to sleep every night only to know that there's nobody who can share it with me and help me out and it's frustrating but I can only hope something will change. maybe it's me but maybe not I don't know but. l just hope lol time to sleep bye

[hheartflia-blog-deactivated2020]

Even if your feelings or wishes do not come true, or if things don’t go as you planned - on another road grows another flower. A new flower blooms there.

[sorarrru]

this is horrible just horrible honestly I haven't felt this bad in such a long time and it's really horrible to be back in this slump of self blame and self hatred again and I know everyone keeps telling me it's not exactly my fault but it is??? it really is no matter how much you think about it it all stemmed from my selfishness and foolishness and i know it was kind of an accident but i could've prevented it and there's no denying that it's just. my fault and i just feel so so sorry to everyone because i feel like i'm just going around causing trouble and making people worry unnecessarily which i have never enjoyed doing but it seems that i'm always doing that idk i somehow feel like everyone's just being nice to make me feel less bad but honestly i feel really uncomfortable with that because. really. just shout at me if you're angry and you want to blame me because i'll accept it because it's true and i deserve it??? because it's really my fault and i just feel so bad can't even fall asleep because i feel like crying whenever I think about how it all happened and even after that and I just feel like such a horrible person I don't want to face anyone for a long long time and I just feel like everyone is being way too nice and I don't deserve it at all I just. probably need to stop thinking all these but I can't and I can't sleep without thinking that I am horrible and I just want to rewind time and prevent all this from happening help help help my mind is becoming a really horrible place again

[sorarrru]

( ˘ ㅂ ˘ ♡)ｷｭﾝ❣❣

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii it’s been a long time since i’ve posted anything but not like anyone cares but ya i just saw all my horribly depressing posts on this blog and i just felt so so happy

lately for some reason i just feel like i’ve been learning a lot and especially about learning to let go of things and be more open-minded, which i’ve never been able to do because i’m a piece of shit LOL

but i’m so much happier nowadays and i really just feel a lot a lot a lot happier and positive than i ever have and i just don’t stress myself out so much anymore which is GREAT because i’ve just come to realise the only reason i always felt so stressed and worried over everything was because i was the one giving myself such big pressure so now that i’ve stopped it’s like the skies have cleared and it’s all sunny and bright and happy

also one big thing i’ve been able to do recently is to stop taking my studies seriously which is AMAZING because it’s something i’d done unconsciously in primary school and then i only realised around last year but i was never really able to help it because it just felt like the only thing i could do and control well in my life, but now i realise there’s so much more to life than the number on our test papers, our GPA and whatever. there’s so much we can do with the time on our hands so why waste it all studying??? like sure i still screw up pretty badly on tests and i still get upset because i actually do try my best for all my tests and if i don’t score well it’s really a pity because like. i really tried, but that’s exactly the point !!! i tried and i think that’s all that matters?? i’m proud of the effort i put in and thats okay. i don’t have to be the top scorer or get full marks or get a GPA 4.0 to feel happy anymore and i definitely don’t beat myself up over screwing up a test anymore and i think that’s really a very huge personal achievement for me that i feel proud of

also somehow it seems that my self-esteem isnt that low anymore like. sure i dont do especially well in my studies, i’m not in any talent classes, i don’t take any enrichment classes, i don’t have any special skills/talents and i dont have any big ambitions for myself in the future, but im totally fine with that!!! i’ve stopped laughing at what a big joke i am but now i’ve just come to realise that i’m average and i’m normal and i like it. i like being normal and not standing out. i dont have any expectations to meet and i dont have to feel obliged to do anything, i can just be myself and not hold myself back and i can just work towards my own small personal goals bit by bit. and maybe it seems like i’m living very purposelessly but i dont see a need to have any huge ambitions for myself 10 years into the future and get my hopes up and shit like i have small things like events and plans to look forward to and i think as long as i can look forward to these and ever better just be excited to live through everyday and learn new things every day then i’m fine with everything as it is!!!

so yea idk i just feel a lot more free than i ever have and i dont feel obliged to score As or force myself to be skilled in things i dont like to impress people and i’m just doing things because i like doing them and it feels greaaaaaaaaaaat :’)

[sorarrru]

help

I don't even know what's going on anymore lately I just feel so helpless and stressed and I can't deal with it and I've been crying about twice a week at least and I feel like shit almost everyday and it sucks so much and the worst thing is that I feel like I can't do anything about it and even when I don't feel like shit something will just happen and I'll just overthink it and it'll just make me stressed again and I just can't do this anymore I know I shouldn't be letting all these get to me but it's so hard??? like when everyday you're just being teased about doing something even though you believe so much in it its so so difficult to be so unaffected because somehow you just start questioning yourself?? like whenever that happens I just ask myself why I'm even doing this then I wonder if I should even be doing it when in the beginning I was so so so sure I wanted to and I know and strongly believe that I do it because I want to and it makes me even just a little bit happier every day but when I hear all the teasing and the comments it just gets so hard?? like I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I don't know what I 'should' be doing and I don't know how to make it stop and I'm just questioning every single action and thought of mine and it just sucks because I just feel like I'm holding myself back and I can't even properly do the things I want because I'm so sick of people telling me that I shouldn't be doing certain things just because most people don't and it's so dumb because of course everyone will tell me to just ignore these people but I'm just surrounded by it all the time so how can I even do that????? I don't even know anymore I just feel so tired

[sorarrru]

2am thoughts

ok so out of boredom and actual curiosity I went to find all my blogs that I ever had and didn't delete (the oldest was from 2011) and I have established some things:

1) I am incredibly incredibly embarrassed of 2011 me and I would never like to go back to that dark period in my life when I thought I was cool but I was the biggest arrogant dickhead there ever was

2) I used to be super pessimistic oh why is that

3) I also hate mid to end 2013 me when I tried acting "deep" and shit because I just can't do that so yeah nope nope nope

also I was completely at my "0mg im such a g33k LOOK AT ME" stage oh GOD but anyway reading through those posts really got me reflecting and idk if it's because it's late at night and I'm bored and don't want to sleep or whatever but I just started thinking about how much I've changed?? like not physically because I'm pretty sure I look pretty much the same just maybe chubbier but happier in photos and also tanner kns :(

but like as a person I personally do think I've grown?? I don't know if the people who knew me from primary school until now would agree or even those who knew me from last year but I WAS A HUGE PRICK and I was constantly so self-absorbed as if the world was always about me and it just really shows in my posts a lot of the time!! and I was such a drama queen especially in my NUSH post because yes I remember the feeling because it's still one of the worst memories ever (along with my JSC rejection honestly I acted like all "nbd" but it was really a setback for me then) and like if the same thing were to happen to me I am so sure I wouldn't even be half as sad and I can just feel happy about it because of the thousands of other ways my life could go?? like sure I'd feel a little disappointment but definitely not to the point where I'd say my life was going nowhere because hey look where I am now I'm doing pretty great don't you think??? (also about the JSC thing it just felt like a confirmation that I was a failure and I couldn't even live up to my expectations and stuff but I'm glad I didn't get in actually it would've been too overwhelming and I think I just overestimated myself)

and I personally feel like the way I treat people is different too like I used to be such a shitty brat and I'd never really feel any obligation to do anything for anyone ever no matter what because everything was about me and being nice didn't matter because people weren't nice back and idk it's just bullshit now to me because I just feel like no matter how badly people treat you I think it's just a basic thing to respect everyone equally?? don't know if this is due to the influence I've gotten from others or anything but I feel like that's a major change!! and even my friend kept saying I apologise a lot and say thank you a lot and I think I just got it from my mum HAHAHA but yeaaaaah idk my temper is also slightly better? I don't rage as much and when I do I really do try to calm myself and just keep it in until I really cannot take it anymore and also I don't have as many mood swings and I just generally feel happier than I ever was about 2 years ago? and now I don't think so much about things and I just kind of move on from day to day because really what's the point of taking everything so seriously??

sure it's important to take a step back and reflect once in a while but if everything is so serious then I don't really think I can reflect on much anymore hahaha also I think i prioritise much better and I definitely study better and more and my mind makes more sense and like I finally see what I should really appreciate in my life like especially after these few weeks I think I've seen a lot of different things and today when the man from FaithActs was explaining so much to me and I really felt so woahed because I honestly never thought so much about it oh yes and about working out I read like so many posts about working out from like 2 years ago and I am finally starting now WOOHOO I definitely wish I'd started earlier but better late than never right heh so props to me for doing something I've wanted to do for 2 years

I'm definitely not writing this as self praise or anything and idk if it comes off as that but I just feel that it's really important to do this once in a while to see how much I've grown as a person like there's definitely a difference between present me and past me and I AM MUCH MUCH HAPPIER and I don't know if it's because of the people around me or that fact that I am somewhat more observant and appreciative of my surroundings but I am a lot more optimistic and I'd even say I am a lot less of an introvert than in the past!!!

so yeaaaa idk what the point of this was really but it kind of makes me happy to see IM NOT THAT MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE ANYMORE HAHAHA and I know I may still be a dumb and insensitive prick sometimes but I'm sorry but hey at least I'm not the 2011 me ok!!!

HAHAH ok bye I should sleep soon ~~

[sorarrru]

(/_\)

oh man it's that time of the night again and I'm suddenly having a lot of thoughts while thinking back on this year and I guess this year I've really really learnt a lot, so much more than I would've ever expected and one of the things I've learnt is to let go of the past.

I've always been someone who was afraid of change, so I'd cling onto the past and convince myself that everything would still be the same. but after about 4 years and 11 months I guess I've learnt that it's okay to move on and I don't have to force myself into thinking that I'm obliged to feel this way just because I have been for such a long time. I don't really know what exactly made me realise this, though I think I have a slight hint, but one day I kind of woke up and realised it and I know things have been confusing between us and it's been a weird year for us but I guess I've finally come to terms with my own feelings about this and I feel really good. because for almost 5 years I felt so unclear of what to feel and do and now that I finally can learn to stop clinging on to what my past self thought I can act according to my present thoughts and kind of clear up everything and idk it just makes me feel so much better because after 5 long long long years I've finally found an answer

AND SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED THIS YEAR in school and in other aspects and it's been completely crazy, and also one of the busiest and I know the year hasn't ended but the school year has and I guess while it's been kind of the worst it's also been the best. I've learnt so so so so much and I've been able to experience so much and I'm just so thankful that I've been given these opportunities!! especially starting from August I kind of just died and I felt so tired of everything and I felt so stressed out because of NDP and later all the projects and tests and exams and I guess if I survived that I can definitely say I've learnt to be more determined???

I don't really know how to describe it but yeah this year from start to end has been a hell of a ride with so many moments of self-doubt and I guess I'm kind of still going through that but 再怎么辛苦，还是要坚持到底!!!! yeah idk I've just had so many thought floating in my head I needed to let them out somewhere lol

[sorarrru]

(.﹒︣︿﹒︣.)

sometimes I feel like all I am is a joke for you to laugh at because honestly every time I decide to trust you and tell you something I get teased for it incessantly and it's actually upsetting because I trusted you and all you do is make fun of me for it and I know it's embarrassing and even though I don't want to tell you about it you just have to be so forceful and it really really annoys me it's happened before; I've told you things and it actually meant a lot to me and all I wanted was someone to talk to it about and I thought that'd be you. but oh guess what? you laughed it off and took it as a joke and it just really hurt me because it's like the thing that I found so important was just so unimportant and funny to you and I knew it was going to happen again i knew you were going to laugh at me again which was why I was trying so hard to stop you but I guess I can never really do that so yeah I actually can never decide when I can trust you or not because I've done it so many times, and out of so many times you've never really taken me seriously and it makes me feel like complete shit OTL ._. idk I just feel really shitty today and that made it worse plus now I'm watching some shows and I feel like my happiness depends on these people in these shows and it feels absolutely pathetic

[sorarrru]

（ ｉ _ ｉ ）

I’m fucking SORRY that my constant complaints and the fact that I stress myself out over exams makes you feel less important I am SO FUCKING SORRY that I’m not taking national exams like you and I’m JUST TAKING SCHOOL EXAMS and I am so fucking sorry I’m complaining when I have no right to complain because oh guess what I can’t feel stressed because it’s not national exams!!!!!

what the fuck man the ENTIRE year you’ve been telling me I better study hard and do well this year because of streaming and now when I’m stressed out I can’t even say anything and you’re oh so important because you’re having national exams and nobody has anything else as big as that and nobody’s allowed to complain in case they make you feel less important like what the fuck is your problem IM SORRY I TAKE SCHOOL EXAMS VERY SERIOUSLY???? IM SORRY I DIDNT STUDY TODAY BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING OUTSIDE SPENDING TIME WITH FAMILY I AM SO SORRY WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO REWIND TIME???? don’t you dare tell me you don’t complain about being stressed out WTF you are constantly screaming at me getting pissed off at me AND I SIT THERE AND I HOLD IT IN BECAUSE I DONT EVEN CARE I JUST LET YOU VENT IT OUT AND NOW I CANT EVEN VOICE OUT MY THOUGHTS???? this is the reason why I need a fucking outlet like this pathetic blog because my life is so pathetic that I can’t even find someone who can just sit there and listen to me for once because I’m so sick of your constant need to make yourself feel more important than me and above everything else I feel so sorry for you because of your shitty attitude and I am so pissed off

and don’t even get started on yesterday IM SORRY I DREW ON YOUR “IMPORTANT” WORKBOOK WHILE YOU DREW ON “JUST” MY NOTES WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU yes they are notes but SO WHAT ARE THEY NOT IMPORTANT? IS YOUR BRAIN EVEN FUNCTIONING? you need to give your workbook to others??? what if I need to study and look at my notes in front of others??? WHAT THE FUCK like I literally just wrote a joke and you got shit pissed at me while you fucking doodled everywhere and you were interrupting me even while I tried to calmly tell you to stop every fucking five minutes and what you drew was actually offensive and might possibly give others the wrong idea and IM NOT ENTITLED TO GET ANGRY???? BECAUSE IF I DO SO IM A BITCH??? And the passcode thing like YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO CHANGE IT BECAUSE MY FRIENDS WERE HACKING MY ACCOUNTS??? I actually made myself not tell anyone my passcode in fear it’d happen again BUT OH YOU JUST DECIDED TO GIVE IT OUT yes it’s a joke I know BUT ?????? I am so tired of people Thinking that I can literally just let anything get past me I am human I have feelings and let me tell you I DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE INVADE MY PRIVACY AND DO THINGS AGAINST MY OWN WILL UNDER MY NAME like I know it’s a joke I tried to take it as a joke but it WENT ON FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES? REALLY? what makes you think ANYONE would enjoy sitting through that? and I tried to stop you all because I hate getting angry at people BUT YOU ALL PUSHED IT YOU SHOULD KNOW WHERE TO DRAW THW LINE???? I was so close to being in tears because I couldn’t even stand it like the other time I got so pissed off because my privacy was SO INVADED and the things I never even told anyone else were just put online like WHAT THE FUCK and I felt like such a bitch for getting angry and I felt like you all did too but after that I’d think you all would know not to do that???? I may seem like a fairly nice person but I really really really hate it when people think I’m easy to trample over because fuck you just because I don’t get angry that easily doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings and I don’t treat anything seriously and that I take everything as a joke?????

I’m just so so so so pissed sometimes I don’t even know who I should trust because everytime I decide to risk it and trust someone everything just goes wrong because everyone just doesn’t know where to draw the line and it sucks because I am not constantly feeling like shit and I just need someone to be there but it’s like I can never find that person and it sucks and nowadays even trying to talk to myself to let these feelings out won’t work and I just can’t wait for the holidays so I can be alone and I’m sorry if this offends you but I really don’t want to spend so much time around people who make me feel like shit and make me feel like I’m a complete fool who’s taken so easily and laughed at by everyone and sometimes even I want to laugh at myself for being so pathetic and stupid I feel like such a joke

[sorarrru]

yoooo

yooo I changed my name again because I’m a piece of shit and got tired of whatever obsequiosus because ITS MEANING ISNT VERY POSITIVE ANYWAY

I wanted akashiro but it was taken because it’s such a nice name ;; tried others like akashiiro/akasora (not very nice though)/kuroshiro/shiroko/akirakuzan (it’s available but it sucks anyway)/akiroko

before I decided on akirari + karasuno and therefore akirasuno but it’s probably temporary until I find a better one because I don’t like it very much either oh well

and idk where my other old posts went oops (°_°)

update: should I change it to like nekorima (surprisingly available)/kirasuno/kisekichii (idk) I’m having a dilemma

[sorarrru]

ಠ_ಠ

Lately for whatever reason I seem to keep on holding on to the past and I don’t want to think about the future and I just want to sit down and reminisce all the good moments that I’ve ever had because it makes me feel happy that I have these nice moments in my life to talk about so I don’t feel shitty and nervous about what’s ahead of me.

I know it’s stupid but I can’t stop clinging on to the past, be it a year or two years or three years ago and I know that this is just me avoiding all my problems and fears and just trying to convince myself that everything will be okay.

And lately I’ve been feeling so tired and so stressed out and I’m suddenly feeling so much pressure on me, with the sudden overwhelming number of projects and NDP and how I’m supposed to do so many things in one go and all the tests that are just coming up in my face, and it’s like the world is slapping me in the face to wake up, wake up and face reality. To get a hold of myself and catch up with what’s going on. To snap out of my dream where everything is nice and slow. The problem is, I don’t want to. And I can’t. I feel like no matter how hard I try I just can’t make myself do it because everything will end in failure. I’ve tried, and it took so much effort just to keep up with myself and with other people. I’ve tried and tried but every time I’m put down and I get told that this is what I’m supposed to do or this is what is expected of me or that I’m still not good enough or that I’m not trying hard enough but I am and nobody understands them. I’m trying and I’m putting in effort but somehow nothing is changing. And I’ve tried, I’ve tried so hard and I’m tired of trying. I will never feel good enough. I will never feel like I’m putting in enough. What is enough, anyway?

I wish everything was easy like it used to be. I could catch up just by going with the flow. Everything was peaceful and quiet and slow. And suddenly it feels like there’s a raging storm that’s suddenly appeared out of nowhere, threatening to take this peace from everything I’ve ever know and it’s frustrating because I can’t stop it, things are just rushing past me and I just fail to notice it. I fail to notice the things that are happening around me and as a result I can’t catch up at all.

I just wish it would stop. I wish I could run fast enough to catch up with the world. But it’s like the race is never-ending but I’m already out of breath, and my head is spinning and it’ll never stop.

[sorarrru]

rant #342534

I feel so pissed and annoyed and I just need to let it out somehow and I know nobody's going to be willing to listen to me spout crap and whine so I figured this was the only place so okI honestly cannot bring myself to believe that assholes like you actually even exist without even realising how much of an ass you are. even if people point it out to you, you don't even BOTHER I mean that's really where I think it crosses the line. fine, you don't know where you went wrong but after you know and you don't even care?!?! do you even know how your actions affect and trouble the people around you? do you think about that? and so what if you do; do you actually care? why are we the ones having to go through so much trouble for you when you're the one not putting in any effort? we don't even owe you anything. again and again everyone has tried their best to kindly remind you to stop being such a jerk but I don't see a difference at all. it's been nearly 5 months and I still don't even see any effort from you to try and improve on yourself and just stop being a prick. 5 MONTHS. Not 5 days or weeks. MONTHS. I honestly think that's quite unbelievable. I'll say it, in the past I used to think you were someone who was just bullied by the class but still a nice person but now I know you don't even CARE about how others around you feel. most times I even doubt if you consider anybody else's feelings when you do things. the worst thing is, you don't even feel apologetic for any of the things you've done, as if there's nothing wrong with your actions. I'll be the first to let you know, EVERYTHING is wrong. I simply cannot bring myself to understand how you can even think your actions and behaviour is anywhere near acceptable and it pisses me off, because not just me but everyone around you has to put up with that just because you don't seem to grasp that we don't owe you a single thing in the world, that we too are humans whose feelings should be kept in mind still and not ignored and pushed aside. I might not be in my place to say this and I doubt you even know who you are but I hope you actually reflect on your behaviour because if not, if you in all honestly don't see anything wrong with what you're doing, then I have nothing to say. what have you even been doing in the past year? what have you learnt in that time, do you even remember everything? or were you just playing the victim in front of the teacher and faked everything? because I really really don't know how much longer of this I can take. I feel like I've reached my limit after nearly 2 terms, and it's wondrous I've even managed to tolerate it until now. I honestly, really do feel that way.

[garden-of-everything]

[imoonshine]

And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened

Douglas Coupland (via imoonshine)

[lordoftheconquistador]

I have looked at you in millions of ways and I have loved you in each

Haiku (via komakino)

[sorarrru]

Does anyone else lie in bed at 2:30am filled with the crippling fear that they’re never going to accomplish anything in life and fail miserably or is that just me

[pandavalkyrie]

You are good at something, stop lying to yourself. You’re good at breaking down comic book plots, cooking ramen perfectly, making your friends happy, knowing the time without looking at a clock, getting the perfect ending at RPG’s, or figuring out the twist ending to movies. Don’t let society tell you your talents are meaningless because they don’t serve an economical purpose. Your talents reflect your interests and passions, and what’s important to you is important.