joey & kitty, kittybriar.
She wasn’t invited, but when has a missing invitation ever stopped Kitty Briar from doing whatever she wanted anyway? Honestly, a Boot Hill party isn’t worth shit if Kitty’s not there to turn up it a notch past nine and really make it a party. Kitty’s presence ensures that everyone in attendance will most likely wake up in the morning in some unknown location with a pounding headache. That’s her contribution to the town; a headache from a damn good time.
She’s almost offended by the nonexistent invite as she single-handedly invented the party scene in Boot Hill (or so she likes to tell herself). To spite the host, she’s decided to crash it with a few of her old henchmen and cronies from high school (namely the five and a few ex football players) to really make them regret ever leaving Kitty Briar out of a party. They, of course, leave a mess wherever they go and proceed to damage the property without a second thought. They’re obnoxious, but it’s a plague that the party goers must endure because Kitty never forgets a slight. No one ignores Kitty briar, and ike a sore, she always makes her presence known.
The party is…mediocre at best and it’s not her fault. Had she learned of its existence prior to today, she might have been able to take control of how it was planned. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to have a party in a trailer? Sure, not everyone could afford to live in Villas Adobes like Kitty but a trailer was just pathetic. The monotony of it all just became too much for Kitty to handle, so she made her way out of the dingy little shack and onto the hood of someone’s car with a few of her cohorts. She isn’t too keen on sharing her weed with the rest of the rednecks inside so she takes this opportunity to light up a joint outside. Bringing it up to her lips, Kitty takes a long drag before passing it to one of boys in the group. Just before she can even blow the smoke past her lips, she’s met with the sight of Joey Ryan approaching the car. Joey’s annoyed and for a good reason, the hood of a car isn’t a chair but it’s not like Kitty even cares.
“Relax, Ryan. I’m the prettiest thing that’s ever been on the hood of your little hooptie.” Her jest earns a few chuckles from her entourage as the joint is passed around. It’s said in good fun, not even remotely resembling her true cruelty. At least Joey has a car, Kitty’s been relegated to walking everywhere or bumming a ride from Sonny or whatever flavor of the week she’s entertaining. Once the joint makes its way back to her, Kitty extends it to Joey before sliding off the hood of the car. “Go on, have a drag.” Everything that comes out of Kitty’s mouth sounds so tempting, she could probably sell the ocean a cup of water. “I won’t tell.”
joey bristles at kitty briar’s presence, hackles raised even higher when she sees that boot hill high’s queen bee is, as usual, with her entourage. did kitty briar exist at all if she wasn’t demonstrating something for them? she was certain she didn’t. just as certain that if kitty opened her photos to show joey a picture, that the largest percent of her camera roll would be filed under selfies. kitty’s entire persona, as far as joey is concerned, is performative. it’s beautiful, but it lacks depth, and joey isn’t interested. if anything, there’s a part of her that resents kitty--not only for the reasons she’s generally misliked, but because she represents a certain narcissistic frivolity that joey can never indulge in herself.
kitty briar is boot hill’s marie antoinette and, perched upon the ryan family station wagon, her every batting of her eyes screams to joey let them eat cake. no doubt, she is right; she is the prettiest thing ever to be on the hood of the ryan station wagon and her chittering group of sycophants are quick to agree. it’s not like joey is a prude. sure, she takes impaired driving seriously and doesn’t get out to party very often because of the kids, but she’s not too good for a joint or shots. it just has to be in the right setting. stranded without her keys in the freaking trailer park is not the right setting.
beyond anything else, joey is annoyed that she’s having a murphy’s law kind of night and kitty fucking briar is sitting on her car like it’s a goddamn lawn chaise lounge. she can remember when her mother would lie out in the yard in hers during the summer with a sun reflector and some danielle steele paperback. it makes her wonder if felicity ryan was anything like the false idol of teen dreams before her back in the day and, she decides, she probably was. “i don’t know.” joey shrugs, face flat. “the original hood ornament was at least real metal.” her tone is so even that it’s hard to say whether she’s simply recalling an old memory or telling a mean joke. that’s really the best way to deal with girls like kitty--tell a joke so straight-faced that they can’t tell if you’re an idiot or a bitch. joey ryan doesn’t really care either way.
bristling at the joint, she considers the offer. she smoked her last dub at least two weeks ago and it’s not like she can find her car keys anyway. she’ll be forced to call someone for a ride home and a ride back in the morning anyway. the offer itself is a double edged sword--she’s a square if turns it down, but she’s just another sycophant if she accepts it. too bad she doesn’t have her own joint buried somewhere within the bag. then she’d really make a statement. with all of the girls descended upon her car like a flock of hitchcock’s eponymous birds, it seems like a safer bet to just accept the offer. with a sigh, she lets her bag slump over her shoulder in resignation. “sure, kitty. i can’t find my keys anyway.”













