The prison orange that I was required to wear just symbolized everything about my freedom being taken away. I couldnāt even eat freely anymore; everything was on a timed schedule, every single day.
It was something I hated since usually, I had always been so unpredictable.
I got mean mugs from people I didnāt even know and the food tasted like they just threw any old thing together and called it breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It only took a few days for me to stop pushing away the food and not eating it, seeing as I was most likely going to be in here for a while.
My trial had been held about a week ago and seeing everything that I had been charged with, the judge gave me the maximum of fifteen years for the attempted homicide alone. Once I heard that, I didnāt even care to listen to the rest of the sentencing for my other charges. I most likely had a life sentence on my hands and I wasnāt sure if I could do the full twenty with all of these criminals around me.
We had to be up at a certain time every day and although I tried to avoid going to get breakfast as much as I could, we couldnāt just roam around whenever we wanted to since this was a maximum security prison. Only the worst criminals who couldnāt be trusted were transferred here, and I just felt like I didnāt belong here at all. Nearly half of the men here have murdered someone. The only person Iāve tried to kill ended up living so I didnāt understand why the judge had me here.
What Iāve done wasnāt even half as bad as what some of these other people have done.
My thoughts were abruptly interrupted when I felt a hard shoulder bump into mine as I walked towards the cafeteria for breakfast, nearly knocking me off balance since I wasnāt really focused. Once I caught my footing, I almost broke my neck snapping it in his direction as a cold glare resided on my face.
āWhat, you got a problem?ā He spoke in a teasing manner as two of his friends stood behind him, giving me the same mug that he was giving me.
I knew he was just trying to start shit with me because thatās what most people did to fresh meat, attempting to see what they were all about. Whether or not they were pussy. āYea, watch where the fuck you going. I know you seen me walking nigga.ā I retorted quickly with venom laced in my voice as the trio began to surround me but I couldnāt back down now. Even if they beat my ass in this very spot, I couldnāt go out without a fight.
My head was held high as we eyed each other with menacing looks, neither one of us backing down from the other. I wasnāt even worried about the two followers behind me because I could tell this one was the one who called the shots.
āThis nigga think he bold. Bitch boy, you aināt even with no crew. We could stab yo ass right now and the only people who wonāt look the other way is the guards. And thatās only ācause itās they job.ā The inmate in front of me spoke causing his two lackeys to laugh.
But my face remained straight as I looked at him, multiple other inmates eyeing us to watch the drama that was about to go down. It was like high school all over again. āUnlike you, I donāt need two niggas up my ass all day to feel tough. I wouldnāt even be surprised if they could tell me how yo shit tastes.ā
The male in front of me clenched his jaw, moving closer towards me before he suddenly stopped as he glared over my shoulder in annoyance. I subtly looked behind me and saw two guards standing there, trying to see what all of the commotion was about since there were literally inmates leaving their table to come into the hallway and watch the brawl that was bound to go down. He let out a deep exhale as his eyes refocused on me. āDonāt think you safe now nigga.ā
He motioned the other two to follow him as he started backing away from me slowly, never taking his glare off of me and I did the same. All I was trying to do was go and eat breakfast but as always, thereās got to be some bullshit.
Rolling my eyes, I turned around and continued my trek to the cafeteria, ignoring the multiple stares that came my way. I knew that I couldnāt just say something to everybody because Iād end up dead by tomorrow so the best thing I could possibly do was ignore it.
Once I got my food, I sat at a table that only one man occupied. Most of the other tables were full and I didnāt want to be surrounded by a bunch of men who seem to gossip like women since there wasnāt much entertainment in here. After sitting down away from the other inmate, I began to eat my food quietly. Jail food was probably the most disgusting thing Iāve had to eat thus far in my life but Iāve found a few things that were okay to eat and I wasnāt about to starve myself.
I heard the man across from me mumble something to me as he scooped a spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth, not even looking my way. My head turned both ways to figure out if there was someone else he could have been talking to but no one was even remotely focused on what we had going on. I turned back to him. āWhat nigga?ā
āI said you need to be careful. Sometimes the best thing in here isnāt trying to prove yourself, itās staying off the radar.ā He spoke, not once making eye contact with me.
I smacked my lips. āWell, how am I supposed to do that when niggas like that go around looking for trouble? Iām not finna let nobody punk me. I donāt care if itās my momma.ā I retorted back, being sure to give him the full attention that he wasnāt giving me.
He finally turned my way and I almost gasped once I got to see him fully. The other side of his face held a long scar that started at his forehead and ended right below his left eye, which had a white cast to it indicating that he couldnāt see out of that eye anymore. āJust listen to what I say nigga. Or donāt say I didnāt warn you.ā With that, he got up and left the table leaving me to ponder on what possibly could have happened to his face.
It also made me wonder if what happened to him happened while he was in here locked up.
I impatiently waited in line to use the phone, the person before me seeming to take forever to finish his conversation. There was a set time that we were able to use the phone and if we didnāt get to call anyone because we were too far back in line, well oh well. Weād have to try again next time.
I had gotten here a bit earlier since I knew there would be a line wrapped around the corner by the time I got here if I didnāt. I was the next one up but it sounded like the person in front of me was speaking to his mother. He was a white man that didnāt look like he could even hurt a fly but I knew looks could be deceiving, especially in here. He could be someone who raped and murdered twenty people and I wouldnāt even know.
My foot tapped loudly causing him to look down at it, then up at me before turning back around to finish up his conversation. He finally said his goodbyes and as soon as that phone was being placed down, I was picking it up and dialing a number quickly. We only had about six minutes left to make a call and I was hoping it would be enough time since it took the receiving caller a good two minutes to be able to accept the call.
But she never answered my calls. Hell, she probably had the number blocked for all I knew. I still called her every day though, hoping that at least one day sheād pick up the phone for me.
That day clearly wasnāt today as I heard the beep signaling to create a voicemail message sound off on the other end causing me to sigh heavily. āSimone, baby, answer my calls. Please. I hate being in here and not being able to see you and Junior. Can you just bring him down to visit? At least once. Iām going crazy in here and I donāt wanna end upāā Suddenly I heard another beep, letting me know that was all I could record for right now.
I closed my eyes and sighed, attempting to calm myself down before I threw the phone and messed things up for everyone. Each day, it was like I left the same message over and over. I just wanted to see my son.
I hung the phone back up and walked back in the direction of my cell, the message I had just left weighing heavy on my mind. It had been over a month and she was still ignoring me. Either that or she changed her number which was worse because Iād never be able to find out how to contact her while I sat in here for years.
Despite everything that happened, Simone was the love of my life and I still want to be able to see my son grow up. I donāt want my last memory of him to be when he was four and I donāt want him to end up forgetting about me either.
I stepped into my cell and let out a breath of relief that my cellmate wasnāt there. He wasnāt that bad, he just enjoyed talking a lot. Half of the time, I donāt even think he knew what he was talking about himself, he just kept blurting out words.
Laying on my bed, I closed my eyes and threw my arm over my face, attempting to get the depressing thoughts of my son forgetting who I was out of my head. He was at the age where he wouldnāt remember most of things that happened when he grew up. I didnāt want him to also not remember me. I definitely didnāt want him to end up calling another nigga his dad either. That would hurt me to my core.
I sighed once I heard my cell door close, not bothering to look that way since giving eye contact to my cell mate was like an invitation to converse in his eyes. āAye yo, George, I really donāt feel like talking right now man. Just give me a minute.ā
Once a few seconds had passed by and I didnāt hear a response, I removed my arm from over my eyes and sat up immediately seeing that nigga from breakfast and his two puppy dogs standing right by the door. I quickly jumped up and attempted to reach into my little cabinet where I kept a shiv made from an old toothbrush I found, but the three men swiftly grabbed me and began throwing blows anywhere they could.
The only thing I could do was curl into a ball and shelter my face from the six hands that were trying to get at it. Suddenly I felt hands grab my wrists as I was somehow forced onto my stomach, the two followers holding me down as their knees dug into my shoulder so I wouldnāt be able to move.
I instantly began thrashing and fighting hard against the two once their leader began tearing a hole down the back of my jumpsuit, followed by him nearly ripping my underwear off of my body. I moved violently in their hold but their grip on me only tightened more as I kicked behind me as best as I could.
A gut wrenching scream escaped my mouth once I felt a sharp object being shoved into my anus, the brutal force of the item tearing at the skin and instantly causing internal bleeding. The inmate from breakfast forced the object in and out of me repeatedly as one of his friends stuffed their sock in my mouth to keep my cries for help muffled, salty tears freely falling from my eyes as pain shot throughout my body.
āHow that taste bitch.ā
I sullenly packed the boxes holding all of my belongings into the moving truck I had rented out for the day. The coldness in his eyes as he watched my every move only made the pain I felt inside so much worse.
Tears pooled in the brims of my eyes as I stared at all of the cardboard boxes filled with my things, finally causing me to realize that this was really happening to me. Xae was kicking me out of the house. He wasted no time in packing up my stuff once he got home from the ceremony.
He stood at the foot of the front doorway, watching with crossed arms as he made sure all of my things were gone so that Iād have no reason to come back, as he stated to me. I neared closer to him as I made my way to get the last of my boxes, his stone cold expression never faltering from his face.
āXae,ā I reached out to touch his arm as the hot and salty liquid continued to leak from my eyes, āIām so sorry baby but pleaseā¦ donāt do this to me. I donāt want things to end like this.ā
He responded by simply moving his arm out of my reach and stepping to the side so that Iād have better access inside to get the rest of my belongings. I sniffled quietly as I hung my head low, slowly allowing my hand to fall back down to my side.
āI think this is the last of it.ā My head rose again once I heard the sound of Simoneās voice calling out to me as she appeared in the doorway with the last box in her hand. She had been helping me make sure that everything was packed into the U-Haul truck since Xavier was refusing to give me any type of assistance.
Simone carried the box out to the truck as I remained standing right in front of Xae. While my eyes were on him, his eyes were strictly focused on her and it made my heart fall to the pit of my stomach. I knew that what I was afraid was going to happen between the two had no obstacles holding them apart now.
āXae,ā I called out to him one last time causing his eyes to slowly trail back over to me with annoyance written all over his face, āCan we please just talk about this? I made a mistake but thatās no reason to throw away what we had together for almost three years.ā
A bitter chuckle escaped his lips as he shook his head. āI didnāt throw shit away, Bree. You did. So now, shut the fuck up and deal with it.ā
My mouth fell agape as I stared at him in complete shock. He had never even fixed his mouth to say something so disrespectful to me before. I had to have really sent him over the edge for something like that to have left his lips. It had only caused more tears to frequent my eyes as I watched him stare down at me without an ounce of sympathy. āXaeā¦ please don'tāā
Before I could finish my sentence, Simone had jogged back over causing me to stop talking because I didnāt want to embarrass myself by seeming too desperate. But my heart ended up falling to the pit of my stomach once I witnessed Xae immediately throw his arm around her waist and pull her body into his, almost protectively. My eyes couldnāt even tear away from his hand that rested on her hip as my blood began to boil.
āSo, y'all are together now?ā The question came out in a barely audible whisper but I could tell the both of them heard me because Simone subconsciously took a step away from Xavier. Unlike him, she actually looked like she felt bad for me and didnāt want to make things worse by being all touchy feely with the man I was supposed to marry a couple of days prior.
She looked like she wanted to say something too, but Xae quickly shook his head and motioned for me to leave. āThat doesnāt matter. You have all your shit so itās time to go.ā Simone quickly gave him a stern look that made it unnecessary to even open her mouth to lecture him and lightly squeezed his hand before leaning over to whisper something in his ear.
I attempted to subtly lean forward to hear what she was saying to him, but to no avail. Once she pulled away, Xae looked at me and sighed. āIām sorry. I might be hurt but that doesnāt give me the right to treat anyone like shit.ā He spoke lowly causing my mouth to fall agape once again.
My eyes swiftly darted between him and her, wondering what in the world she could have said to get him to apologize to me in a matter of seconds. āIāuh, itās okay. I probably deserve it.ā I hung my head low as it shook from side to side; disappointed in myself was an understatement.
An awkward silence soon took over between the three of us and I took that as my cue to finally leave. Xae clearly wasnāt going to give me another chance and I was beginning to get tired of the look of pity on Simoneās face. I knew she was just being nice but it wasnāt making me feel any better at all.
My legs slowly carried me over to the driverās side of the large U-Haul truck and due to my short stature, I literally had to climb in. Once I was seated and closed the door, I took one last glance over at Xae who was now not even focused on me at all, but had a slight grin on his face as he spoke to Simone. His hands just couldnāt stay away from her as he kept attempting to pull her into him and she kept a slight distance between them most likely since I was still there.
I allowed the remaining tears to fall freely down my cheeks as I started up the truck and drove away before my heart exploded in my chest from watching the two of them together. But I guess it wasnāt all bad; at least he was happyā¦
I skillfully backed the truck into Antonioās driveway so that I wouldnāt have to walk too far to grab my stuff and take it inside. My eyebrows furrowed once I realized the other unknown car parked in his driveway and I exited the truck to look inside of the empty vehicle. There was nothing even remotely distinguishable about the car. Nothing hanging from the rear view mirror nor any knickknacks on the dashboard.
I shrugged and headed inside to let Antonio know that I was here and I was going to need help with carrying some of the more heavy boxes. I figured heād probably bought me a cheap car to drive since he was usually busy dealing with his restaurant and such and was going to be gone majority of the time. The car I used to drive around was Xaeās so I couldnāt keep that and Antonio knows how much I hate being stuck inside all of the time.
Knocking lightly on the door a few times, I rocked back and forth on my feet as I awaited an answer but it wasnāt coming quick enough for me so I knocked again. It was as if the second knock triggered something inside and I suddenly heard loud yelling causing a look of confusion to wash over my face.
The screaming from inside became louder and before I knew it, the door had swung open revealing a fuming Serina who looked as red as a tomato. She instantly rolled her eyes at the sight of me and I held no hesitation in doing the same. I was tired of seeing this bitch.
āWhat do you want?ā She asked as she leaned against the door frame, blocking the entryway as if this was her house.
My face immediately scrunched up. āWhat do I want? Girl, Iām not about to play with you.ā I retorted as I forcefully pushed passed her and began calling for Antonio once I was inside. He finally came out from what looked to be the direction of the kitchen, looking just as livid as she did. āI need help moving my stuff inside.ā
A low chuckle sounded off from behind me but when I turned around, Serina was staring straight at Antonio instead of me. āSo, youāre really letting this bitch move in with you? How long have y'all known each other again?ā
āMind your fucking business.ā Antonio mumbled as he moved passed the both of us to go outside to the truck.
Her eyes immediately fell back on me, a hateful look in her eye that I knew for a fact was jealousy which only caused me to smirk back at her. āYou think youāve won because youāre here now but, newsflash sweetheart, youāre only here because you might be carrying his child. He doesnāt love or care about you.ā She spoke with nothing but pure venom laced in her voice.
āAnd you think he loves you?ā I laughed out, honestly amused at her attempt to get under my skin. āRemember that youāre only mad at me because I had the man you wanted. In front of you, no less. So donāt come at me on that bullshit.ā I replied, completely fed up with holding my tongue for people. If she wanted to play that game, I could really hurt her feelings and I wouldnāt mind doing so either because this bitch had it coming.
Serina rolled her eyes as her hands found their place on her hips. āI donāt give a fuck what you think you had. You also had a fiancĆ© up until a few days ago too but whereās he at now? Oh yea, he doesnāt love or care about you either.ā
My nostrils flared as soon as she brought up Xae and my blood instantly began to boil over. I couldnāt believe that Antonioās been telling her all of my deep and personal business when he knew damn well that I didnāt like this bitch at all. āYouāre nothing but a cheating, lying, hoe and frankly, I donāt care what a cheating lying hoe has to say about me anyway. Thatās exactly why I fucked Antonio all up and down this house. Did you ever get the chance to even make it to the bed yet?ā She added with a devious smirk painted all over her face.
Iām not sure what exactly took over me, but the next thing I knew, I was on top of her sending slaps and blows to her face as she scratched and pulled at my hair, occasionally landing a few hits of her own. My legs kicked and flailed once I felt myself being pulled off of her.
āLET GO OF ME! You fucking asshole, you told her everything!ā Hot angry tears stained my cheeks as I tried my best to get out of Antonioās hold and take off on him as well.
Serina soon began to stand up, holding her nose due to it being busted and charged at me again. Antonio still hadnāt let me go so she was able to grab a huge chunk of my hair and started throwing wild punches causing me to rapidly kick my feet out to defend myself. āYo, what the fuck, stop!ā I heard Antonio yell which instantly caused her to halt her movements and back away from me. It was as if she was his little puppy dog, following all of the orders heād give her.
With a heaving chest, she stormed out of the house and was sure to slam the door behind her. Antonio and I both waited but we didnāt hear a car start. Instead, glass began breaking from outside and loud thumps could be heard. My eyes immediately widened as I thrashed to get out of his hold once again. āGet off! My stuff is out there!ā I just knew this broad wasnāt damaging my property.
āOk, calm down! Iāll handle it.ā Antonio replied as he cautiously let me back down to my feet, waiting a few seconds to make sure I wouldnāt go outside and run up on her again before he jogged out his front door causing the loud noises to stop altogether.
Shaking my head, I headed over to the bathroom to check on my face which had started burning a couple of minutes ago. I stared at my reflection to see my skin riddled with scratches and one of my eyes beginning to swell a bit, knowing it would leave a slight bruise once it went down.
If this was what was going to happen just because of me living here, Iād rather just be alone.
A shaky breath escaped my lips as I sat in my car, staring ahead of me at the police station I had been hesitating to go into for the last hour. I knew that once I went inside, my life was over and I just wanted a few more minutes of freedom before that happened.Ā
It just felt like my apology wasnāt enough. After all, they were only just words that meant absolutely nothing since my actions have been anything but apologetic. I hadnāt told Simone yet because although I was doing it mainly for her, I was also doing it for myself; living with the guilt in aiding the end of someone elseās life was something that was painfully hard to live with and I didnāt want to anymore. I couldnāt just keep thinking about myself and saving my own ass.
My hands anxiously gripped and un-gripped the steering wheel as my heart beat out of my chest. It felt so loud, the person in the car over could probably hear it. Allowing an anxious breath to escape my lips, I finally shut off my car and allowed the newfound silence from the engine cutting off to surround me as Antonio sat quietly beside me. I had to leave someone with my car and I didnāt necessarily have as much trust for any of my other family members as I did for him.
As I reached for the handle of the car door, my phoneās ringtone began to blare throughout the speakers of my car due to me having my phone hooked up to the bluetooth to play music. A shaky sigh of relief left my lips and I quickly reached for it before pressing the green button to answer the call. Subconsciously, I knew I was trying to do everything I could to procrastinate.
I had never been to any type of jail or prison before and I knew once I entered the building, I wasnāt going to be leaving in a very long time. I had done my research beforehand to find out the maximum and minimum sentences for accessory to murder and I wasnāt sure if I was ready to spend years with my freedom abruptly stripped from me. But for Simone, I was going to do it all anyway.
āHello?ā I answered a bit more anxiously as I watched the seconds on the call tick by.
The person on the other line held their silence for a few seconds longer, their slow breathing being the only thing that could be heard from the other end. My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and I reached for my phone to hang up, but the voice that came through my speakers immediately halted me in my tracks. āI know what youāre doing Ajanaeā¦ and I shouldnāt have to tell you that it isnāt smart.ā
My heartbeat unwillingly started to quicken as my brows only knitted closer together. āā¦Dom?ā
āNae, baby, I thought you were smarter than this. Just pull away from the police station and go home.ā
I slightly jumped in my seat as my eyes darted around the outside of the station and parking lot to see if anyone was around or watching but there was not a soul in sight. Antonio stared at me from the passenger seat in pure confusion. āHow did youāā
āWhy do y'all keep asking me that dumb shit and why do I keep telling y'all the same answer? Just 'cause Iām locked up donāt mean I donāt still have eyes and ears everywhere. I gotta say thoughā¦ I didnāt think youād actually do it.ā His tone was eerily calm and nonchalant, almost as if he was just doing this to play with my mind.
And it was starting to work.
āDom, why do you even care? Itās not like youāre getting out any time soon. Whatās a few more years added on? Iām tired of living with these secrets.ā My voice cracked slightly as I spoke and tears began to form in the brims of my eyes.
I was more haunted by the situation than it seemed but my fear of going to prison had been the only thing keeping my guilt in check.
āIām only thinking 'bout you here, baby girl. Trust me, youāre not built for this lifeā¦ no one is.ā His voice had lowered as he trailed off, seeming a bit contemplated. It was a tone I never heard coming out of his mouth before, but he was sure to quickly dismiss it. āSo, like I said, just go home, run yourself a warm bath, and enjoy your freedom while you have it.ā
More tears poured from my eyes as he spoke and I began shaking my head as if he could see me. āI canāt. Itās not right.ā
āYou wasnāt thinking 'bout what was right when you was helping me so stop bitching.ā He snapped. āDonāt do it or Iām telling you right now, youāll regret ever meeting me.ā And with that, the call abruptly ended leaving nothing but silence to take over.
After a few seconds, I quickly wiped the tears away from my eyes with a new determination. I wasnāt about to let this man keep controlling me and everyone else the way he had been for years. And the gag was, I already regretted ever meeting him. It was crazy because just a few months ago, he still had me head over heels in love with him. I thought he could do no wrong.
āWho was that?ā Antonioās voice spoke up from beside me. He sounded cautious to even say anything, like he didnāt want to bring it up but knew he had to.
I quickly shook my head, dismissing the subject entirely. I didnāt want to have to explain the entire situation. He didnāt even know the reason that I was turning myself in; just that he needed to keep my car safe and maintained during the meantime. It just made things way less complicated for me. And frankly, I didnāt want to see the look of disappointment on my cousinās face when I told him what Iād done.
He quickly shifted in his seat as if he was The Flash. āYou mean that punk ass bitch that had you laid up in a hospital bed for two weeks because he thought you were cheating on him with me?!ā I could literally feel the seething anger radiating off of him as he spoke.
The car fell silent and immediately, I knew that he knew the answer to that question. I had always tried to defend him, telling myself and others that he only did it because he didnāt know Antonio was my cousin and not some random guy I picked up on the street. But now I know that, that was nowhere near true. This was just what he did to the women that fell in love with him.
āYo, why the fuck is he calling your phone talking 'bout some heās gonna make you regret meeting him? Iām gonna make that nigga regret ever being born when I get my hands on him.ā
My head snapped in my cousinās direction in irritation. āJust let it go, alright? Forget this ever happened. Besides, the only way youād be able to 'get your hands on himā was if you were sitting in a jail cell.ā
āShit, we in front of a police station right now. Say I wonāt go and smash the windows on one of them squad carsāā
āJust stop!ā I quickly interrupted before he actually managed to work up the courage to put some action behind his words. āI donāt want anything to do with Dominick and I donāt want you or anyone else to get involved with him either. Everything he touches becomes toxic.ā By now, my tears had all but dried up and I was a bit more agitated that Ant was really trying to risk his freedom for something that happened years ago.
He glared over at me, clearly still livid about the whole situation before looking out of the window with a frustrated sigh. āWhatever, man.ā
āIām serious, Antonio! Iām not saying that to be dramatic because when I walk through those doors,ā I yelled as I swiftly pointed towards the double doors of the police station, āIām being charged with accessory to murder and heās being charged with murder.ā His eyes widened a bit at my revelation, his lips not even daring to part themselves and say something. āSo when I say everything he touches becomes toxicā¦ I mean that shit.ā My voice had softened up a bit as I attempted to read his facial expression but I couldnāt quite tell what he was thinking.
āSo, youāyou helped him kill someone. Like someone is six feet under right now because of you two?ā He asked as if he couldnāt believe what he was hearing. It was surreal even hearing it come out of my own mouth.
A low sigh escaped my lips as I shrugged slightly. āI mean, itās a bit more complicated than just that but yea. Someoneās dead and I played a part in that. So yeaā¦ā
The car was overcome with silence once again as neither of us knew exactly what to say to each other. There was nothing to really say at a moment like this. Antonio sat back in his seat, staring ahead of himself in what I knew to be pure thought. It wasnāt everyday your cousin told you they helped commit a murder. I know I didnāt help in the physical sense, but the guilt still feels all the same.
āJustā¦ donāt tell ma or tĆa, please. I donāt want them to have to live with knowing that. And you know if you tell one, the other is gonna find out like that.ā I snapped lightly to add emphasis to how quick information got around with the two. They were always like two peas in a pod since they were younger; which was why Antonio and I were so close. We basically grew up together too. āIf they ask, just tell them I wouldnāt say. And that goes for all our other nosey ass family members too. I donāt want anyone knowing whyā¦ at least not out of our mouths.ā
He nodded and let out another sigh as he just looked at me. I knew that he was disappointed in me too, but still wanted to support me doing the right thing. Heād always have my back when I needed it the most. āI hope you know youāre fucking crazy. And dumb as hell for letting that nigga talk you into ruining your life.ā My eyes lowered as they stung a bit, feeling the water works already coming over me. I knew I was stupid from what I did but hearing it from someone so close to me just hit different. āButā¦ I really admire you for running towards your problems instead of away from them. I donāt know if Iād be able to turn myself in knowing Iād get years.ā
āYou wouldnāt, pussy. You couldnāt even tell your friend that you fucked his bitch.ā I retorted, earning a stern glare from my cousin. I knew the subject was still a bit fresh but I couldnāt help it. It was just so funny seeing how worked up he got over just the mention of it. āKidding, kidding. But Iāuh, I think I better do this before I really do chicken out.ā
He nodded and we were soon both hopping out of the car and making our way up to the front of the station. I stopped directly in front of the doors and let out a nervous breath that I didnāt even know I was holding in. It was now or never.
Reaching to my side, I tightly embraced Antonio as a couple of stray tears crept down my cheeks. āI love you big bro.ā
āI love you little sis, you be safe in there and make sure Iām the first person you put on your visitation list.ā He replied causing me to let out a light laugh as I pulled out of the hug and swiped my tears away.
āI will.ā And with that, I turned towards the haunting police station, the feeling of my freedom stripping away just as I stepped through the double doors.
