100% this. My experience is generally either:
"Well, I mean, not great. But that's normal for me." -> Person gets uncomfortable and annoyed with me for being a downer.
"Pretty bad!" (with a cheerful grin on my face) -> Person laughs awkwardly and pointedly does not ask follow-up questions, immediately changes the subject.
"Well, you know." (strained expression) -> Person may try to push me to give a more complete answer, then reacts badly when it's a negative one.
"Same as always!" -> Person asks something well-intentioned but ignorant about whether that means I'm not "better" yet. I resist the urge to explain (again) that I'm not going to get better, the best I can hope for is not getting worse too quickly, because I know that will only lead to suggestions that I try yoga/meditation/acupuncture/etc. and implications that if I would just follow their suggestion, I'd be all better in no time (it is my own fault I am permanently sick, and clearly a sign of some kind of stubborn desire to be negative to try to get attention for myself).
(Beleaguered Sigh) "I never know what to say when someone asks me that." -> Person is offended, says I should just answer honestly, resulting in them quickly coming to regret that.
"Do you really want to know, or are you just making small talk?" -> They insist that they really want to know (because it would be rude to say otherwise) and then it becomes rapidly clear that they do not in fact really want to know.
"Fine, thanks, how are you?" -> If it's someone I know well, I get accused of lying/being fake, they insist they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to know, and when I give them the honest answer they get uncomfortable and/or annoyed with me.
CONCLUSION: The only correct answer is to say everything is great, and also it needs to be true. If it's not true, then you're a liar, but if you tell the truth, you're a killjoy who's ruining everyone's day. You have to just get better and then tell everyone you're fine so they don't have to feel guilty about knowing you're not doing great. You cannot tell them you're doing bad because then you're burdening them. You can't lie because then you're being dishonest.
You just have to magically get better! Also this is your fault (for being a downer) and not theirs (for knowingly putting you in this position time and again even if you explicitly ask them not to).
Hope this helps! š„¹š
snowghoul
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
