Soul Kittie

Gorean Kajira

[soulkittie]

I’m home, let’s chill and listen to some tunes! |TikTok|Global Video Community

I’m home, let’s chill and listen to some tunes! |TikTok|Global Video Community

[soulkittie]

24 HOUR WWP CHARITY LIVE donate PayPal [email protected]|TikTok|Global Video Community

24 HOUR WWP CHARITY LIVE donate PayPal [email protected]|TikTok|Global Video Community

[kinkysalon-deactivated20191002]

[glasshalffull99]

I am your prized possession. The master piece you created. Only through you have I become a thing of beauty. Blessed to be continually sculpted and formed, for you are the artist and I your muse….

[acruelgentleman-deactivated2018]

Dominance and Depression

When getting out of bed, cleaning the house, and paying the bills are unbearable chores, being responsible for another human being’s welfare can feel like a crushing burden. A Dominant who lives with depression may at times feel weak, irresponsible, no match for the task of even showing up to the job, nevermind exerting the effort and strength required to be the submissive’s rock and shelter. Depression creates unique challenges for the relationship, and will test the strength and patience of both Dominant and submissive. Only by working together can the couple maintain their bond and fulfill their roles.

Here are a few observations and bits of wisdom I’ve gleaned from capable sources, as well as from my own time in the trenches.

Your mental health is your responsibility. Yes, your partner should support you in every way possible and make all efforts to help you through the rough patches. But no one can cure you. No one can save you. No one can carry the burden for you. Take your meds. Talk to your therapist. Keep your appointments. And when you feel like doing nothing but lying in bed and hiding from the world, remember that you are a Dominant, you are strong, you are your own light. Throw off those covers and leap out of bed.

Tell your submissive what you need. This is often exceedingly difficult, because you may not have a clue what you need. But make every effort to keep those lines of communication open. During your lowest times, your submissive may feel lost and unsure without your usual guidance and strength. Assure them that you love them still, that this depression is in no way a reflection on them, and give them tasks that will allow them to do what most drives them: pleasing you

Submissives, this is your opportunity to step up and show your quality. Pleasing your Dominant is your purpose and goal in this relationship. Keep to your daily rituals and rules as much as possible. Remind your owner that you belong to them, that you love them with all your heart, and that they are not alone in the darkness. Do those things that usually please them, without waiting to be told. And above all, be available, and be patient. They will come back to you. You just have to turn on the light for them to find their way home.

Depression can sap all of your strength and motivation. It can make you doubt everyone and everything. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You’re not suffering from depression; you are living with it. You are not a victim; you are a survivor. When the darkness settles around you like an impenetrable fog, remember the steel you’re made of and the be empowered by the worship of the one who loves you above all others. Get up. Wake up. Arise, O lions, and shake off the delusion that you are sheep.

[instructor144]

This is really good writing, and spot-on advice besides. As someone who shares with my hero, TR, intermittent bouts of what he called “black care” (what today we would call depression), the power and iron in those last few sentences really resonates. 

[foodffs]

MARGARITA CAKE

Follow for recipes

Is this how you roll?

[poems-and-word]

[pleasurewhore-deactivated201802]

Red Flags

I read a lot of posts/asks here on Tumblr that make me want to scream, “Get out! Run away!”  Over, and over again, I see submissives ignoring the warning signs of an abusive, or ‘fuckboy’, Dominant. So, I thought assembling a list of what to watch out for might help even one submissive stand up for herself, and to me that’s definitely worth the effort. I hope other submissives will comment and add any warning signs that I’ve missed, in hopes that they reach someone out there that might find courage in seeing them in black and white.

You should be reevaluate your Dominant (or prospective Dominant) if they…

-Disappear for a day or more without any contact or explanation

-Withdraw attention as punishment

-Ask whether you like anal before asking about your hobbies

-Tell you that ‘as the Dominant’ they don’t owe you an explanation when they’re ‘too busy’

-Habitually limit your contact with others

-Have nothing nice to say about any of their former significant others

-Tell you that you misunderstood the situation instead of apologizing, or comforting you, when you are upset

-Never say please

-Tell you boundaries are meant to be pushed

-Complain if you use your safeword, or if say you don’t want to try something

-Get mad when you ask about the reasoning behind a decision

[your-beautiful-submission-deact]

A day? Most of this list I’m all for, but please recognize people have lives.

For myself its not uncommon to vanish for 2-3 days when I get caught up with work and training and I can’t be the only one.

Be transparent, but people get busy outside of tumblr. Patience is a virtue.

[pleasurewhore-deactivated201802]

In my book, outside of emergency situations, there is no reason to disappear for more than a day without, as I said, “contact or explanation.”

That is a matter of priority. If you’re a surgeon and you have a 30 hour shift you send a message beforehand and say “on call this weekend and won’t be in contact. Love you”.

99.9999% of situations there is no excuse for not taking literally 30 seconds to tell someone what’s going on.

Sorry if you disagree, but for ME, unless you have an emergency, (which would mean there is an explanation afterward other than “I was busy”) that’s 100% a dealbreaker.

[freakedoutfalcon]

I’m with @pleasurewhore on this being a dealbreaker. My first D/s experience ended because there was increasing unpredictability about when he would be in touch, including a couple of isolated days of no contact toward the end, and I couldn’t handle that. Because, you see, D/s involves a lot of vulnerability and trust, and if I was opening myself up, being willing to submit, and I needed to know, both at a conscious and practical level, and at a subconscious instinctive level, that it was safe for me to do that, and—to use an awkward metaphor—would definitely be caught every time I stepped off a vulnerability ledge. The dynamic ended amicably, and I didn’t fault him for it; it was just a clear sign that we had different expectations, that what he could offer and what I needed didn’t align, and in short, that we weren’t a good match.

In response to the “people have lives” person, yes, they do. And people have lives outside of Tumblr. But unless the dynamic in question is very specifically only messing around on Tumblr, I don’t think people having “lives outside of Tumblr” is at all a reason for lapses in communication. For me, for a lot of people, and I think certainly for the intended audience of this red flags list, D/s is a real thing that has real impact on people’s real lives and priorities and state of wellbeing.

If you happen to be looking for something casual, then more power to you! You’re entirely within your right to do so, and I will defend it as a legitimate choice. But if a D/s dynamic is meant to have any real bearing on a person’s real self, then “getting caught up with work” and the like just doesn’t work as a reason, because it clearly demonstrates—and not favorably—where the dynamic ranks in priorities.

Speaking personally again, and with my flavor of submission in mind, there would be no point in pursuing it at all if I didn’t intend to let it hold a position of priority in my life. Where specifically it falls in, say, the top 3 priorities, I think there’s some fluidity there, and that will certainly vary even for people interested in 24/7 D/s. In short, though, the vulnerability that is needed on my part in order to submit to someone is totally incompatible with a “just Tumblr” dynamic, or with falling low on someone else’s life priorities list.

[pleasurewhore-deactivated201802]

That’s right, I’m reblogging again because I think this is spot on. ^^^

Casual relationships are fine, and legitimate, but that’s just not how I do D/s.

I’ve been on the receiving end of this sort of behavior, and I’ve watched a couple day absence send a good friend spiraling into depressive anxious behavior. I don’t know any subs personally who would be okay with this lack of contact, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. This is ‘Red Flags’ for people to look for and think about. Not having anything nice to say about Ex-submissives isn’t necessarily a deal breaker for everyone either, but it is a red flag. Personally I think if you’re going to be taking absences of a day or more that’s got to be a negotiated part of the relationship.

[a-submissive-life]

A 30 second message is no time at all …. that’s the time in an elevator or walking from your car. 30 seconds to make your partner know that they are important - surely they deserve that?!!!! It doesn’t have to be an essay - no one is asking for that ….just a message to know that they are acknowledged. If you can’t do that………………….

[zephyrbaron]

Reboot this often.

I keep in touch regularly with certain people. What happens when my car crashes or breaks down and my cell phone won’t get a signal?It’s about safety. I travel 350 miles on my monthly trips to Baltimore and plan trips elsewhere.

Keep in touch no matter who you are. It takes a minute to say “I’m working or going away”. I used to work with EMT’s and lots of issues come up on that 15 minute drive where you think you’ll be back and wind up wishing you told someone. Accidents happen. So do issues (heart attack or you forgot your Medication).

I make it a point to keep a sub informed and provide my phone number and email address. If I don’t, I think they’d ask for it since I text daily.

Excellent post.

[bikes-tats-whiskey-deactivated2]

[scarletxrose]

Tattoos are beautiful 🥀

[6stringgig]

✔️🖤😍😈

[devouryoursoul]

🐺

[princess-t-rex-daisy]

😍💞

[darkazazael]

Love my ink and always want more. 💙🐾

[inkdnready]

…👆🏻😈

[desirablewolf]

@kittensfununiverse

[nikolasromanov]

Hail to the Goddess, the Goddess of Doom!..

[Niko] by self

[submissivelovelyl]

how much did you enjoy being raped?

I would like to respond to this question appropriately while keeping the victims of sexual assault in perspective while discussing a role playing fantasy. They are very different- One is with consent of all parties involved and the other is illegal and punishable in court. We have a lot of research validating a woman’s need to be taken roughly and dominated. So I can not hide from the fact that a consent role play rape encounter hasn’t crossed my dirty lil mind.

I try to stay open to many aspects of my life including: life, politics, religion, relationships and sex. While continuing to learn myself ,as a sexual woman, that happens to have a submissive and lil tendencies, I do not know if “rape role play” is for me. I have not experienced it and have not built a connection with a Dom that I would be comfortable enough or safe enough to carry out this fantasy. However, I have also learned to never say never. My life as a submissive is a lovely part of my life, it is always growing and I am proud of my progression. With that said, I still have more to accomplish to be the submissive I strive to be, with a purpose that will please my Owner and make Him very proud.

Many woman are fearful of admitting their fantasies due to fear of judgement, lack of knowledge, society label of taboo, childhood events, upbringing and the risk of physical and mental harm to them and/or their relationships. I could discuss why women/ subs/ males/ doms feel this way but that would be another subject and another blog entry.   We should not be so fearful ladies, according to askmen.com, rape is the #3 on the top 10 list of sexual fantasies of women.

I would like to go over some basic terms according to dictionary.com. consent - (v)- to permit, approve, or agree; comply or yield               (n) - permission, approval, or agreement; compliance; acquiescence               (n) - agreement in sentiment, opinion, a course of action                 (n) - archaic. accord; concord; harmony

In my opinion, two (or more) conscious, healthy, consenting adults should have the right to discuss and choose to enter this role playing activity into their lives, in harmony, in agreement with a specific course of action.  I mention healthy here because the physical risk are high along with the mental and emotional stability of each participant and their relationship. It is my assumption that the last thing any D/s couple would want is a negative aftermath of what was suppose to be a wonderful, limit pushing, endorphins rushing experience with the person they trust the most. There needs to be safe words or signals, there needs to be a plan of care before, during and afterwards. I have not personally experienced this so I am unable to give you a breakdown of all the precautions to take but I will try to link you to other blogs of information if you have more questions.  Please note: anything that is the opposite of consent is illegal and abusive.

Let’s get back to the subject of why do females have rape fantasies.

There has been a recent study that showed 90% of woman have sexual fantasies. (who is that 10%, I would think we all did.) 1/3 - 2/3, of that 90%, confessed that of those fantasies many included forced sex.  The study clearly stated that sexual assault (non consent) is horrible and not referring to non consent forced sex. It also states that women who are more open, adventurous and love to daydream admitted that many of their fantasies are way beyond than anything they would want to experience. (3).

My take home from that information is that some woman fantasize about consent rape role play and have no plan acting on that fantasy. Whereas, some woman fantasize about consent rape role play and would like to push that limit or have every intention on making her fantasies reality. We are all different but the research says it for us ladies, we can not hide….we have more than likely fantasized about consent rape role play at one point in our lives. Please note - I do realize that their will be exceptions to my opinion and to research and I am not comparing role play to sexual assault.

The study gave the 355 woman a survey of eight questions. Please go to the reference provided to read more about the women in the study and the questions given to the woman. The result of the study showed: (3)Forced by a man: 52%.                      Raped by a man: 32%.Forced oral by a man: 28%.Forced while incapacitated: 24%.Forced by a woman: 17%.Forced anal: 16%. Raped by a woman: 9%.Forced oral by a woman: 9%.**** Please note the original questions did not define “forced” or “rape” with intentions to leave the participants to use their own understanding****(3)

What women are more likely to have these fantasies?More of these rape fantasies come from women who have self reflected and have self accepted their sexual needs and fantasies. The sexually regressed woman with anxiety and guilt have the least number of rape fantasies. (3)

My personal experience with becoming sexually confident woman has been a long and every going process because I do have anxiety and guilt for many different reasons. (again, thats another blog entry).  I have high and lows in my path to submission. I also have spurts of growth and then moments that may plateau. I find that I blossom under the caring hand of a Owner. With this caring hand my sexuality and confidence will boost while helping me be more self accepting of my needs. A good Daddy/ Dom/ Sir/ Master can bring out this lovely blossoming of sexual awareness. It is a lovely thing to sit and watch grow.  Regardless your needs, role play or not, I hope that this information has helped clarify the needs many submissive’s have along with their fears of self acceptance.

If you do decide to venture into the role playing aspects of BDSM. Please leave time for aftercare. This will ensure the mental, emotional and physical state of each person(s) is intact. Afterwards is when the most damage can happen, mentally and emotionally.  The brain comes back to reality after the endorphin rush and we try to process what just happened. Make sure you have someone close by to wrap you up in His arms and discuss everything or just hold each other. I have been following DVsarousal blog for a long time, he has written a good bit about the need and purpose of aftercare. Please read more about aftercare if you have more questions. Here is his link. http://adauntlessjourney.blogspot.com/2011/09/aftercare-blog-takeover.html

Other articles written by DVsarousal that I find very important and can help us understand the mental aspects that take place during “role play” “rough play” and the needs of both the Dom and the submissive.

1. Aftercare - http://adauntlessjourney.blogspot.com/2011/09/aftercare-blog-takeover.html

2. When She Needs it Rough - http://adauntlessjourney.blogspot.com/2012/12/when-she-needs-it-rough.html

3. Just say No - http://dvsarousal.tumblr.com/post/108443290930/just-say-no

If you have any further questions, please email me.

lovelyl

References: Order as seen above.

1. http://www.care2.com/causes/rape-ranked-as-third-most-popular-sexual-fantasy-for-women.html. top 10 list of female sex fantasies from askmen.com

2. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/consent

3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201508/why-do-women-have-rape-fantasies

4.  http://adauntlessjourney.blogspot.com/2011/09/aftercare-blog-takeover.html

[depraved-and-geeky]

A good read, very informative

[omgbiraclikhikayesi]

[instructor144]

“It’s aftercare time and I need pizza!!!”

“Manners!!!”

“Pizzzzzaaaaaaa!!!!”

~backs away slowly~ ~speed dials the pizza joint~

[babyanimalgifs]

Here’s a kitten dressed as a bat to brighten up your day

[foxyshadow]

I am vengeance! I am the night! I am…adorable?

[quiet--dominance-deactivated201]

Annoucement

Hey guys. I know I have been AWOL the past week or so, but I have an announcement for you all and I am sure ti will come with mixed responses, but I love you all and want you to know what is going on in my life.  As you all know, The past month has been extremely tough for me. I had a run of bad things happening to me and I got myself into a bad spot. You all helped out tremendously with that. I want to take a moment to stop here and honestly address each and every one of you that either donated, or reblogged my post so others could donate. You are very literally saved my life and I would likely not be here in the same fashion I am right now if you all had not helped in the way that you did. I love you all so much and I am so happy to have such wonderful people following me. I consider myself a very fortunate person for that. So again, thank you to all of you.  Now, on to my announcement. I have enlisted in the United States Armed Forces in our Navy. I will be working as a Navy Hospital Corpsman. For those of you who don’t know what a corpsman does, I am going to be a combat medic working with a fleet of ships or working on the front lines with our Marines. I finished my medical check today along with my contract signing and my swearing in. I am officially leaving for boot camp on February 13th at 0600 EST. As such, past February 13th, I will not be able to be on my blog for at least 2 months while I am at boot camp. After boot camp when I ship off to A-School, I will have more time, but most of that time will be set aside for m school work, so I still may not be on very much, if at all. This does not mean I am deactivating my blog. I will resume posting as soon as I can and I am more than excited to share with you all what details I can.  Please feel free to ask any questions you would like. From this point going forward, my last name and my location will be struck from my blog. I will not be in Massachusetts and that is all anyone is going to know unless I reach out to them personally or the ask me off anon and I am in a place where I can do that.

Thank you all for your patience in this. I look forward to this step forward in my life.

Go Navy, Beat Army.

[buttholewitchcraft]

[cumbursted]

rachel knows

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

Get this out of my face I’m dead serious

[lovelymojobrand]

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[pleasurewhore-deactivated201802]

Not Fooled

I adore Tumblr. It’s a way to connect effortlessly with people who share a part of my life so few know about. I’ve been able to learn and explore things that would otherwise have been difficult to come across. But Tumblr has done it’s fair share of harm too. It’s easy to get lost in the glamorous images and sexy stories posted, and before long the grass looks a whole lot greener on the neighbor’s side of the fence.

It’s a constant effort to remind myself that these are snapshots of people’s lives, not complete images. And they’re photo-shopped, carefully chosen, edited ones at that. I have to be vigilant to be sure I’m not fooled into believing everything I see. I need to constantly remind myself that what I see isn’t necessarily a reflection of what exists.

Not every woman practicing BDSM is a size 0.

D/s couples disagree. Sometimes they fight.

The people in those pictures suffer from depression, PTSD, and anxiety.

Not every sub is female, and not every Dom is male.

Sometimes shit happens. (Quite literally, if you enjoy anal play.) Sometimes a position hurts, heads bang together, legs give out, or you end up roaring with laughter and not release.

Bondage doesn’t just happen. There’s preparation, and safety precautions, and chaffing. Those don’t show in pictures.

Not every sub can deepthroat a 9 inch cock.

For that matter not every man has a 9 inch cock. (Shocking, I know.)

People have bad days. Doms cry. Subs forget and act out.

Whether or not you enjoy anal, or humiliation, or bruising isn’t what defines you…on either side of the slash.

There’s nothing wrong with being a Top, or a bottom, and not wanting that dynamic to leave the bedroom.

And, on that note, Dominance and submission are not about kinky sex. You can fuck in the dark in the missionary position, or not at all for that matter, and still be in a power exchange relationship.

So I try to step back. I look at the photo of the woman, with the perfect hair and flat stomach, kneeling before a man with a pristine suit and a three thousand dollar watch on his wrist, and try to remind myself that the reality is better. The messy tearful days, the laughter over a queef at the wrong moment, the note left behind on a busy morning, and the run in a stocking on a soft chubby thigh… those things are perfect too.

[inhishandsibloomed]

I fucking love this! I have read many posts that try to capture this but I’ve never seen one that has done it so well. Thank you for taking the time to write this @pleasurewhore

[thesweetertouchofdominance]

All of this, and then some. Sometimes it’s just even really fucking hard.

[soulkittie]

this is a beautiful piece thank you for sharing

[kathaynesart]

My favorite line from “The Last Unicorn.”

Decided to play with silhouettes for this Inktober image.

[soulkittie]

Loves this movie