SoulessGipsy

Minors please do not interact Not pro,just my safe space Hight:5’7|Sw:133|Cw:121|Gw:125🔒|Gw:118 |Gw:110|Uwg:100|

[skinny-dolly]

person: you good?

me: yeah. *stands up*

knees: crack.

eyes: blackout.

stomach: screams.

me: i’m good.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[against-stars]

my father said to me once that one of the things he deeply regretted was not putting music on for his father while he was fading away. he told me that grandpa would just sit in his old armchair in the quiet, and not until after he’d passed did my dad think of how he could have played of his favorite classical music tapes for him so grandpa could listen to something while he still could. i was very young when this happened and not much older when my dad told me this, but it always stuck with me as something important.

my mother died at home in a hospice cot, slowly shutting down over the course of about a week. when she had stopped responding, i remembered what dad told me about wishing he’d played music for grandpa, and i put the radio on her favorite country music station and kept it on for her until she died.

daddy died in hospital. no cassette players, no decent radios. the day after he was brought in, i thought again of what he told me, and i bought a little portable bluetooth speaker. even though he never woke up, was never aware, i played music for him too.

there’s no real significance to sharing this, not really. my motivation is selfish, again: i just want to hope that someone might think of this when their loved one is stuck in silence somehow, and maybe they’ll play music for them, and they won’t have to regret not doing so. i want to hope it helps someone. and i want to hope that someone will remember my dad with me, even in just a “story i read on the internet” way.

[eirianerisdar]

Hey, OP, you actually might have done a very significant thing for your parents indeed. Hearing is the last sense to go when someone is passing away. It’s why palliative care doctors tell patients’ relatives to continue speaking even if the patient stops responding. So even if your mother and father could not wake or respond to you or those around you, they perhaps could have heard the music they so loved, and perhaps were comforted. So what you did wasn’t selfish at all, and I’m sorry for jumping on to your post, but it’s likely that playing music for your parents as they passed away did much more for them than you might have known at the time.

[eating-disowoder]

[thinandbxnee]

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

“ur so chill” thanks i am completely disconnected from reality right now

[my-dream-of-skinny]

[brittlebruises]

[toastbutteregg]

[fitfaerie]

I basically want to be unrecognizable by the time I lose all the weight. I want to be completely different. I’ve always been this way and now is the time to transform.

[skin-n-bcnes]

of all the mental illnesses, anorexia has the highest mortality rate with %10.

there are 1.4k ed accounts following me, and counting.

meaning approximately 140 of us will die from this disease.

could be me. could be you.

i'm not trying to scare you into recovery, i know it won't work. but as someone who've been in and out of hospital her entire life because of her ed, i feel obligated to remind you, skinny is not worth dying.

you don't care for staying alive? you don't see a point to live? well then, let me tell you what's gonna happen. you're gonna be hospitalized when it gets worse and they're gonna put you on iv, put you on meds you'll have to take for the rest of your life and make you eat hospital food if you're lucky enough to not be tube-fed. when that happens you're gonna beg those doctors to just let you die but they won't.

i know you've seen people who achieved their goal weights but just because they look good doesn't mean their bodies aren't in a fucked up condition.

you see thigh gaps, right? what you don't see is memory loss, heart problems, loss of hair, organ failure and many more.

because there's no happy endings to eating disorders.

recover while you can.

[smolpeas]

It’s actually 20%*

[skin-n-bcnes]

reblogging again for the comment, thank you for correcting me.

the post is much scarier now, isn't it? eds can take so many people's life, including yours or your favorite mutual's.

you're still young. you're capable of recovering and living a full life. getting into collage, having your dream job, taking up hobbies, taking care of your pets, meeting the love of your life.

i know some of us have been suffering so long that it seems impossible to have all those in the future but i promise you, it's not.

your life will turn around and everything will be so wonderful to the point you'll say to yourself "huh, i could've missed all these things if i hadn't recovered can you believe it?" or "thinking about how i almost let my depression win and killed myself years ago, i can't even remember that feeling" and you'll shake your head, smiling. screw "iMaGinE yOu weRe skiNNi" posts. imagine this.

imagine feeling so proud of yourself because you fought a deadly illness and you fucking won.

[skin-n-bcnes]

jsyk i will regularly reblog this post.

and not because i want more notes, more followers or anything.

i'm actually this close to begging people to not follow me. i don't want more followers, i don't want to trigger people with my posts even if i never mean to do that. it's genuinely upsetting to have an ed blog and watch your follow count go up, up, up.

i wilk regularly reblog this post because it's fucking IMPORTANT.

i know i'm repeating myself but it's so fucking important for every sick person to hear that recovery is the only good option here.

your body is NOT designed to take 300 cals everyday. your body is NOT designed for your b/p cycles. it's trying to survive anyway, it's trying to keep you alive but there's so much it can do and at some point IT WILL GIVE UP ON YOU.

and you know what that means.

[wannabeskinni-i]

i have nearly 9000 followers. im not going to tell u that recovery feels good because tbh im miserable and i feel like shit everytime i eat. but i can tell u that i would care if u were one of the 20%. that i dont want u to be a statistic. if that number is accurate than that means 1800 ppl. 1800 ppl is the size of two high schools where i live. please dont become a number. im here if u need to talk my dms and asks r always open <3

[r0twme]

its actually so scary to think abt :( I hope all of us will recover one day n be happi stay safe guys <33

[dankmemeuniversity]

[hollowboobtheory]

the thing abt diet culture is that there’s no way any junk food could possibly be more self destructive than viewing your own body as not only a separate entity from yourself but as an enemy to be conquered

[ladybugsforpresident-deactivate]

Reblog if you’re in the Yes-I-Have-An-Eating-Disorder-No-You-Shouldn’t-Starve-Yourself club

[anxietyproblem]

[makeuphall]

[ladybugsforpresident-deactivate]

Reblog this if you’re anti proana but pro safe space

I want to know how many of us are really just here to vent, not to spread the pain of eating disorders.

[skinny-capricorn]

my new roommate said that her last roommate had an eating disorder and then talked to me about her clean eating and weight loss goals and how she buys clothes that are a little snug to motivate her to lose more

and like honestly? i have anorexia but this is why i constantly talk about the dangers of the “health and fitness” industry and diet culture bc we have essentially normalized certain symptoms of disordered eating but it’s ok if it’s under the guise of health i guess???

like how is calling it “clean” eating NOT a way to moralize food

how is intermittent fasting NOT the same thing as skipping meals

how come when i buy clothes that don’t fit, it’s something i have to tell my therapist about because it means i am putting pressure on myself to fit into them, but if a “normal” person does it then it’s just motivation for them?

where is the fucking line???

and more importantly when are we going to start acknowledging that the entire world is pro-ana but that’s too harsh of a description so we slap some health buzzwords on it to make it palatable

when are we going to take responsibility for encouraging disordered behavior instead of labeling those of us with EDs as the crazy/imbalanced ones

your fucking Whole30 or keto or whatever “clean” diet you’re on is just as restrictive as the diets we create for ourselves due to our disorders. but we are the crazy ones, right

[devastating-obviously]

Fucking repost.

[jo-zee-deactivated20200619]

[emjaydee03]

“…the entire world is pro-ana…”

[soullessgypsy0406]

Preach 🙌