I'm done
I'm DONE with Religion and Spirituality. And here's the fuck why. If anything has made me more of an Agnostic/Atheist/Humanitarian/Freethinker, whatever the fuck label you want to put on me, it's been this past few year's bullshit. I no longer believe in anything. If anything is out there then it damned well doesn't give a shit about us. He/She/It/They don't care about an equal exchange of power and resource. Thoughts and prayers mean nothing, offerings mean nothing, praying means nothing. If the outcome of prayer and hoping is the same as not doing anything at all, Then what's the point? Why even bother? Why put all that effort, energy, time, resource, willpower to something that doesn't give back? My husband and I are good people, we live by the golden rules of "love each other" "don't be a dick" but yet we still get screwed over? We treat everyone we can with love, and kindness, and try to break through any conflicts we might have with differing personalities with understanding. We do it because it's what's morally right. We don't do it because a higher power told us to. It's a basic human trait to try and help another. I'm personally done with anything spiritual, religious, or otherwise. You guys can still believe what you want to, and if it brings you comfort then go for it. I'm not going to stop, or preach, or try and convince you otherwise. Because what works for one person, doesn't work for another. All religions are right, all religions are equal, all beliefs are equal, all gods/goddesses/powers that be are powerful when they are believed and worshiped. It's not that I doubt the existence of higher powers, it's that they've done NOTHING to help our situation. It, in fact, feels more like a punishment than anything. If I've come to realize anything that being an empath I got swept up in the good vibes and exuberant energy that the church I originally baptized into gave. Despite my better, sounder judgment, telling me I shouldn't do so. That I shouldn't commit down, that it was all just a "Fad". Getting wrapped up in Christianity at 15 was more about trying to cleanse my guilt about many bad decisions I'd made during my teen years, than it really was about making a longer life commitment. As soon as I realized the people at my original happy-clappy evangelical church were using me, and didn't really care about my well-being I tried to move on. I knew the entire time that I didn't fit in, that the religion wasn't for me, that I'd made a bad decision and if anything I should've been Pagan or nothing at all. But I didn't listen to my gut, and that's something that I have to live with. I continued to try and push through these feelings for the next few years. I broke up with Christianity almost 3 years ago to move into Paganism, like I felt I should've when I was 14. And sure the fuck enough that went the same path too. I gave, and I out-poured, and I invested time, energy, resources, offerings, devotion. All that same bullshit. To be met with a similar output. Nothing tangible, nothing comforting. Nothing changed. Nothing got better or worse. It just continued as always. I just don't think that my brain and my soul are really attuned to being in any religion. That having to strictly conform to a belief system, that in and of itself is contradictory at best, and downright laughable at worst. I'm so jaded with the entire system. I know that there are several energy planes of existence. I know that the soul lives on after the body passes away. I know that I am made of everything that came before me, and everything that comes after. Energy and matter cannot be eliminated. It just gets reused. I know that I'll see all of my friends, and family, and ancestors when I die. Regardless of faith, religion or creed. I know that souls go back into the cycle if they choose to. Reincarnation is a thing. Higher powers, teachers, guides, everything else exists. And works to benefit those who need that counsel on their soul's journey. Hell is not a "real" thing, but a lower energy plane does. Souls go round the cycle til they've learnt everything they need. Then they can choose to stick where they want. In the dimension they want. With the people, and appropriate higher powers, that they want. So please don't try and "convert" me back to: "insert religion here". I neither want, nor need it.
