my heart is different now.
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@sourceofahappyheart
my heart is different now.
How to Deal with Insecurity in a Relationship
1. Take control of your thought life and focus on the truth. A lot of people become insecure because they imagine things falling apart. Stop imaging your partner being untrue to you, or becoming interested in someone else. Don’t let your fears create a false reality.
2. Let the relationship follow its own course. Allow yourself and your partner to simply be themselves, and to only commit what each is ready to commit. A good relationship is based on understanding and respect.
3. Don’t give into the urge to snoop around. Don’t start being sneaky, or acting in ways that make you seem suspicious or lacking in trust. That will only undermine your relationship.
4. Focus on being positive. Instead of using up your energy on feeling insecure – or in putting yourself down, or thinking of “what ifs”, try and think about the happy, good experiences you’ve shared.
5. Don’t compare yourself with others. We all have different strengths, personalities and gifts. Be proud of who you are – you are special and unique.
6. Don’t compare this relationship to previous relationships. Even where things have gone wrong in a past relationship, it doesn’t mean this partner is going to treat you badly. It’s a new chapter now – give your partner a fair chance.
“I spent all week trying to hate him and nothing works. Because every time I get into my car I see this little trash bag that he put in my side pocket so I’d have somewhere to put my gum wrappers and tissues. And I felt, I felt so loved that he did that. And now, he put me in the trash with the gum wrappers and the tissues. I’m so mad. I’m so hurt. But I also know that he is the reason that I will get up again. I will climb out of the trash, I will rise. I’ll rise so high that I’ll make him a fool for ever having left me and I’ll do it because of how well he loved me. I am changed because of him. He helped me feel worthy of love and even though it’s over, that is mine to keep.” - Jo Wilson, Grey’s Anatomy
my heart is different now.
Just because you wake up the next day and you don’t immediately start crying like you’ve done the past days, doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. Just because you’ve stopped thinking about them for a little bit, doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. Just because you saw their smile and didn’t cry, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It’s gonna hurt and it’s gonna hurt for awhile. Knowing that someone can go, what seems like easily, from talking to you all day everyday, to now just responding to you here and there, hurts a lot no matter who you are. You still wanna check up on them and see if their smile still makes your heart light up the same. You still want to know if their laugh could promote a stampede in your stomach. You still want to know if they could be your sunshine in a person if they wanted to. You’re left with all these unanswered questions and wonderings of why they don’t want you anymore when they can stand and tell you to your face that you are a perfect human. You’re still going to wonder and it’s still going to hurt.
It doesn’t hurt so much anymore and I don’t so much think about why you didn’t want me anymore because I want me and I’ve learned to want every piece and I’ve learned to love those pieces too.
““Expectation is the root of all heartache.””
— William Shakespeare (via amortizing)
Théophile Steinlen, 1896
Just because you wake up the next day and you don’t immediately start crying like you’ve done the past days, doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. Just because you’ve stopped thinking about them for a little bit, doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. Just because you saw their smile and didn’t cry, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It’s gonna hurt and it’s gonna hurt for awhile. Knowing that someone can go, what seems like easily, from talking to you all day everyday, to now just responding to you here and there, hurts a lot no matter who you are. You still wanna check up on them and see if their smile still makes your heart light up the same. You still want to know if their laugh could promote a stampede in your stomach. You still want to know if they could be your sunshine in a person if they wanted to. You’re left with all these unanswered questions and wonderings of why they don’t want you anymore when they can stand and tell you to your face that you are a perfect human. You’re still going to wonder and it’s still going to hurt.
We do what we do because we know we shouldn’t and we hold on tighter when we need to let go.
“I’m with you. No matter what else you have in your head I’m with you and I love you.”
— Ernest Hemingway, The Garden of Eden (via books-n-quotes)
How to Deal with Insecurity in a Relationship
1. Take control of your thought life and focus on the truth. A lot of people become insecure because they imagine things falling apart. Stop imaging your partner being untrue to you, or becoming interested in someone else. Don’t let your fears create a false reality.
2. Let the relationship follow its own course. Allow yourself and your partner to simply be themselves, and to only commit what each is ready to commit. A good relationship is based on understanding and respect.
3. Don’t give into the urge to snoop around. Don’t start being sneaky, or acting in ways that make you seem suspicious or lacking in trust. That will only undermine your relationship.
4. Focus on being positive. Instead of using up your energy on feeling insecure – or in putting yourself down, or thinking of “what ifs”, try and think about the happy, good experiences you’ve shared.
5. Don’t compare yourself with others. We all have different strengths, personalities and gifts. Be proud of who you are – you are special and unique.
6. Don’t compare this relationship to previous relationships. Even where things have gone wrong in a past relationship, it doesn’t mean this partner is going to treat you badly. It’s a new chapter now – give your partner a fair chance.
“I hate waking up with you on my mind and not in my bed.”
— (via difficult)