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Cosmic Funnies
RMH
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Origami Around

shark vs the universe
Mike Driver

Love Begins
Keni
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almost home
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if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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@sourceofdesp
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Once again, thinking about my fave character over estimating how much thr bottle they hastily grabbed to relieve themselves can hold and they just cant stop so they're just seated there in frozen horror as pee overflows over the bottle and splatters all over the floor😎
Omovember day 9: testing the limit
Fandom: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
When Ferris felt the familiar pressure in his abdomen in first period, he was about to raise his hand to ask to go the the bathroom. But then he remembered how strict these teachers were on letting students go to the bathroom. They almost never let students use the bathroom during class. So he was just going to have to hold it until first period ended.
When the bell rang, he gathered up his things and walked out of the classroom. He stood in front of the bathroom, about to go in. But then he got an idea. He wanted to see how long he could hold his bladder until school ended.
He didn’t know why he wanted to do this, he knew it was pretty dumb. But hey, you only live once right.
So he passed the bathroom and went to 2nd period.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re holding in your pee all day?” Cameron asked. Ferris nodded. “That can’t be healthy dude.”
“It should be fine just until school ends.”
“But can’t that do damage to the bladder or something?”
“Maybe. But I think I’ll be ok.”
“So, his full is your bladder right now?”
“Pretty full. I already have to use the bathroom.”
“This is pretty stupid Ferris. But, whatever.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In 4th period, the period before lunch, Ferris was squirming in his seat. He needed to pee so badly. But he told himself to keep stamina and hold it.
When he walked passed the bathroom as he was heading to the cafeteria. He stopped and stared at the door. Debating whether or whether not he should go in.
No. He couldn’t give up now. He was going to make it.
During lunch he tried not to drink a lot of his milk. He only had a few sips.
Gym was next, and it was the hardest class. It’s very hard to run when your bladder is about to burst. Only 2 more classes left. He could do this.
6th period was spent moving around, squeezing his legs together tight, and breathing heavily. The other students gave Ferris weird looks, but they just ignored him.
7th period was just miserable. His abdomen was on fire. But he was happy it was the last class of the day. After this class there was a 5 minute bus ride to his house and then he could relive himself.
He wasn’t even paying attention to the teacher, he was just focused on not wetting himself.
But then, he felt a squirt come out.
He panicked and squeezed his legs tighter. He looked over at the clock that was over the door. Only 10 minutes left. He could do this.
He fidgeted with his pencil and tried to focus on his breathing and not his full bladder.
More squirts came out and a small wet patch was forming on his pants.
One squirt after one squirt. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.
The bell finally rang. He ran out the door. More drops were coming out.
Once he was on the bus, there was already a pretty big wet spots on his pants. But there was still more in his bladder.
Then, a stream started. He didn’t even try to stop it. There was no use.
It felt amazing to not have a full bladder. Holding his bladder for long periods of time was something Ferris was never gonna do again.
A good description of a potentially real situation. We know there guys in high school that have done something like this.
And I bet that Ferris would do it again!
“What’s Your Fantasy?” Reader Submission
A packed tour bus with a few dozen beefy hairy business guys in suit and tie heading out early to a big sales conference after a weekend living large in vegas.
They get stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and the chemical toilet door jams shut right as the cheap hotel coffee is hitting their system.
Most of ‘em slept late and didn’t have a chance to hit the John before boarding.
The driver refuses to let the most frantic guys off in the middle of traffic and next thing you know suits start getting soiled and these high powered sales studs are pulling towels out of their duffle bags to use for relief, hairy leaking cocks and puckered bubble buttholes pressed into expensive cotton as the guys do what they have to do.
The shyest guys try and contain themselves, doing all that they can to keep their Armani briefs spotless and white, and when the driver relents and navigates to the shoulder they lose all shame as they squat in suits over their mounds of relief on the hot pavement.
New Year's Eve celebrations leave lads in desperate situations around the world. From overcrowded bars to transit delays this one night a year is one you are sure to witness handsome men on the verge of pissing their pants with no choice but to explode shamelessly behind cover of a wall, tree or semi-private street.
Large public events with limited chemical toilets guarantee dozens of overconfident studs experience some of the most urgent moments of their year (or even decade).
The first year I attended the big count down, the queue at the first relief station was so long at 5pm (before the major drinking even began) that event organizers were turning men away, directing them to public restrooms and station toilets while a striking scruffy lad of about 25 in clear agony, begged guys for their spot in line.
They were not receptive. “We all gotta piss bad dude. Go find a bush.”
“I can’t wait… i just can’t” the lad muttered to his mates before rushing away with them in the direction of the station.
Once situated, it was all but impossible to go for a bathroom break without losing your spot with your friends. Many lads only discovered this when they wanted to go for their first piss of the evening and so from about 9pm to midnight, hundreds of men simply held their beer and soda as best they could.
Some could not.
In the time leading up to midnight I saw half a dozen guys hurrying out in humiliation with piss-soaked attire and many others in various states of bathroom desperation.
At 20 minutes to midnight i realized more and more couples were making their way to the portables and it hit me that this massive crowd of cocky lads, holding back gallons of hot urgent beer piss as best they could until midnight would have absolutely nowhere to relieve themselves with all the toilets occupied by the mass of couples queueing up already.
Midnight struck and as the new year began so did a frantic search for a place to piss.
Hunks, studs, beefy bros made their way out in a hurry all with a single, overwhelming need.
“We gotta find bathrooms. That beer man- ”
“Jeezus christ! I gotta take a leak so bad I gotta find a restroom or-”
“The lines are so long dawg. I’m ain’t gonna make it. Gotta find somewhere else to-”
Men danced in place in the queues as the most desperate lads crowded into alleys, security driving them away, belts open, cocks brimming with piss.
These hunks were doing everything they could to hold on but the battle with their bladders was one that many just couldn’t win.
One particularly handsome college bro simply sat down on a bench and pissed himself right there, head in his hands as he flooded his crisp new jeans.
His relief was beyond words but the hot yellow puddle of need beneath the bench soaking slowly into his nicest sneakers was an obvious wet defeat he would not soon forget.
When too many people gather in a place with not enough toilets, scenes like this happen. The young guys drink a lot of anything at hand without any thought of where they will pee it out. Some of them expect to hold it. Just because they can hold their piss for most of a work or school day, they think they can drink half a dozen beers and hold it until they leave the area. They shuffle, they dance, they squeeze, but eventually their bladders rebel and their tired sphincters lose their grip.
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Huge pee accident while driving...
I was driving cross country and had to pee pretty bad. I usually wait until the last minute to pull over and pee. Then I came to an accident that was backing traffic up 2 miles. I was stuck in traffic 2 hours! After an hour I had to pee so bad i was bouncing my legs! Then i had to grab myself. After 90 minutes I couldn’t take it and there was no sign of traffic moving. I wanted to hold it so badly since my bladder is so big and i knew id make such a huge mess!! I must have drank 4 bottles of water and 3 big bottles of iced tea so there was just so much pee inside me! I was bursting so badly all i could do was keep saying out loud how badly i had to pee and that i had to hold it. Of course the seat belt pushing into my bladder didnt help and also the fact that I had tight white shorts on didnt either. I had white satin boxers on underneath. It was just about 2 hours and traffic started moving very slowly. Maybe 10 mph. The next exit was a couple miles away Well the more i had to move my leg from the gas to the brake the more i started to lose control. Every time I would move my leg a spurt of pee shot out in my shorts. The more I moved my leg the harder and longer the spurts got. After 5 minutes the front of my shorts were so wet I could see right through them since they were white! I moved lanes and was ready to get off the exit when the spurt turned into a soft stream. I tried to stop it as I watched my shorts become transparent up and down my thighs. The pressure was too much and my muscles couldn’t control it any longer. The soft stream turned hard and violent. Then I heard a loud hissing sound from inside my shorts. My legs were closed tight as i watched the puddle of pee quickly fill between my legs and overflow around my hips. At that point I gave up and opened my legs. Hard pee hissed even louder in my tight shorts. I could literally see the stream inside my shorts shooting up against them. I could see little bubbles right through my shorts as the pee shot hard against them. I relaxed and peed a minute and a half soaking my shorts, legs, my seat, and even shooting up my shirt some. It was such a bad accident. I never got off the exit and kept driving as i was soaking wet!
My favorite kind of guy is one who likes to wait until the last minute.
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great schlongs of the world
It's after hours, just you and the hunky tech guy, who has been stepping back and forth at the counter for some time as he pores over his laptop. You refill his coffee cup for the third time as he does a few shallow knee-bends. Then his hand darts to the crotch of his snug chinos and he looks at you with concern. "I gotta use your bathroom!" he announces. "It's downstairs," you reply. "Let me go find the keys." How will this end? (Spectator - based on a real-life incident)
1. “Oh God! Hurry up! I’m bursting”“I know. I shouldn’t have locked the toilet door!”“Oh help me!” You see the guy grabbing his crotch and moan. The dam has been broken. The piss keeps running out of his long cock like tapwater. He moaned in relief and flushed in embarrassment. You just hug him and tell him this can happen to anyone. Then your erections touch his wet groin. Then you two start to play.
2. “I got the key now!”You open the toilet door. He runs in with wetting trousers, and whips out his cock. He moans in relief when the waterfall is released. You are just quick enough to take his cock and drink the golden steamy piss from the tap, or masturbate until he cums before he finishes pissing. The guy moans out loud and loves everything you do to him.
3. It’s 1+2. You cannot find the key and you just unzip and yank his dribbling cock and tell him to pee in your mouth.He hesitates but his bladder forces him to release the pent-up steamy urine. You drink it all and start to suck it. You get hard when you hear the guy pants, sighs, moans, and screams in pleasure.
There are many other possibilities
My ending:
I return shortly with keys to see the tech guy, Aaron, furiously working his dick through his chinos, which now display a large wet area at the crotch. His face is red, and he stutters, “I - I couldn’t hold it in.”
I smile. “Not a problem. We’ll go up to the guest apartment and get those pants washed. Follow me.”
We take the elevator to a penthouse suite and step into a comfortable living area. When I look back at Aaron, I note that the wet area has spread down his leg despite his frantic hand activity. I point to a door and tell him, “Go in there and take off your wet things, and be sure to empty your pockets. You can take a shower if you like. Use one of the towels to wrap around yourself and bring your clothes into the kitchen. There’s a utility room with a washer and dryer.”
Ten minutes later he emerges, clad only in a towel, his clothes in hand. I put them in the washing machine and I have cold beers waiting as we sit at the kitchen table. I admire his somewhat hairy, well-toned torso.
“Are you expected home at any particular time?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Nope. I live by myself. Nobody expects me.”
“Fine! There’s a variety of dinners in the freezer, so we we’re set for the evening.”
We talk a bit about his work, and then I comment, “I suppose a full bladder is one of your occupational hazards.” I wink.
He blushes. “We’re not supposed to be intrusive. Some people don’t like strangers using their bathroom.”
“So you’re supposed to hold it.”
He blushes more. “Usually I can go between jobs, but this one took me longer than I expected. And you kept giving me coffee.” He smiled.
I’d had three beers, and I had to pee. I’m not a youngster, and I have a prostate the size of a basketball. Time was, I’d just get another beer and forget about peeing, at least until it got bad enough that I’d have to keep clamping my holding muscle. Nowadays, holding isn’t reliable, though that doesn’t stop me from trying. So I’m actually headed for the john when I get a phone call, and I foolishly take it on the corded phone in the kitchen. It’s my aunt, and she goes on and on about nothing. On and on, and I REALLY need to go weewee! Squeezing my dick and playing with it buys me some time, like it’s done since I was twelve. (I loved any excuse to play with my wiener.) She’s still at it fifteen minutes later, and for me, holding beer piss that long is almost a miracle. When I was young, holding twice as much beer for twice as long was doable, but those days are gone forever. Thank God I got her to end the conversation, and I almost made it to the toilet before I started spurting in my undies. I think there are a couple of Tumbler friends who would have enjoyed my performance.
A real accident
This is a story of a real accident I had a few months ago. If you need a mental image, visit my tumblr at somewetguy. I had been hydrating for the gym when the phone rang. Last minute invite to a concert way up on the other side of Manhattan. I was already pissing clear at that point, but I figured why not scrap the workout and go see this show. I took a long piss in the toilet and pulled out google maps: ETA 45 minutes by subway. Perfect, the show is in 1.5 hours, plenty of time. Anyone who knows NYC knows the weekend is hit-or-miss for subway service and to make a long story short, I got on the train, made it two stops before hitting a major delay. We sat at a station for 20 minutes and during that time I’m starting to fidget. I decide to transfer to a different train, but after another 20 minutes waiting for this other train I realize two things: If I try and go to this concert by train, I’m going to be late and if I’m that late, I’m going to need to find a bathroom sooner than later. I realize I’m crossing my legs and pinching myself on the platform, which makes me blush. I decide to take a cab so I leave the subway and I’m on my way in under a minute. Google maps says 30 minutes to the venue. Shit. I’ve been out here 40 minutes already and barely shaved any time off my commute. I break out in a sweat because 30 minutes is really going to test my bladder. I’m squirming and squeezing myself in the back of the cab. The cabby turns onto the thruway which is the fastest way to the concert, but also now essentially locks me in the car until we arrive. 10 minutes to go and I get a bad wave of pressure in my bladder and I almost leak. The spasms keep happening in waves and then just as the cab driver takes the exit, I feel a stinging in my crotch, then a numbness… then a familiar warm wetness spread over my lap. The worst possible scenario: I’m starting to wet myself right as we arrive at the venue. It’s still coming out as I pay for the ride and step out of the cab. At this point I do a quick check and both my crotch and a portion of my ass are wet. There are people everywhere at this point and I’m barely keeping it together. I beeline it for the restrooms, which are annoyingly up a flight of stairs, across the ticketing both, and down a second flight of stairs. I’ve got two goals at this point: Minimize the damage by getting to the bathroom as soon as possible, and do not draw attention to myself by walking normally as if nothing is wrong. Unfortunately these are mutually exclusive goals at this point. Each time I step up another step I either have to stop and grab my already wet crotch thereby drawing attention to my accident-in-progress, or I force myself not to grab my crotch and of course more pee comes out. At this point I’m just hoping I’m not leaving a puddle trail. The accident is now down to my knees on the front of my jeans as I cross the ticket booth area and walk down the stairs to the bathrooms. I’m trembling and more squirts escape with each step. Of course, a concert is about to start the there is a line for the bathroom. It moves quickly, but not quickly enough. As the guy in front of me takes his turn, I’m stunned. Urine is now pouring into my pants and down my legs. I can feel my socks get wet and I really have made a puddle. I walk to my urinal shakily and finish off. And watch the whole concert soaking wet.
Bodybuilders who need to drink several liters a day have this problem. The human bladder can hold just so much…..
Being an old guy with an enlarged prostate, of course I got up in the middle of the night to pee, but this morning when I woke up, I had to go again. Having taken my shower and done (the other business) before bedtime, I got up and dressed, but didn’t pee. Surely my bladder couldn’t be THAT full. It didn’t seem to get any worse while I made coffee and had my morning bran flakes, and I zipped out to get my morning paper and back and was still dry. But two cups of coffee later, I really, really needed a wee!
Playing with my wiener helped a little. Yes, I’m not too old to get it up, and holding my pee was my inspiration. Now that I’d had all that coffee, I knew it wasn’t a false alarm. I get those sometimes, a strong urge to pee when I know my bladder isn’t that full, but if I ride it out the urgency goes away. This urgency wasn’t going away. I had to piss pretty bad!
I tried to distract myself by cleaning up the kitchen and putting a load of laundry in the washer, but I leaked just enough to make my briefs damp. A little wanking stopped the leaking but not the urgency. I was about to go pee in my pants! “Not yet, not yet,” I kept telling myself. And I did manage to hold it in another few minutes before the Big Spurt. I ran for the bathroom.
I got my dick out before I got my pants too wet, and I did pee a considerable amount. Definitely not a false alarm. I was so pleased with myself that I gave my dick another few minutes of attention, and to a very satisfying conclusion.
Being a Bad Dude
I was a bad dude today. This afternoon I was at a neighbor’s barbecue, had four of his beers, and of course my bladder got so full I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I regretted not taking a leak before I went there, but it was too late now. I wasn’t going to stand in line at the bathroom door with the ladies, and there were too many kids running around to piss behind his garage, so I finished my beer and said my goodbyes. When I got home I got a beer from the fridge, and I thought I’d see what was on TV, but I didn’t want to get my chair wet, so I went out back to prune some shrubs. I really, really had to go weewee! I remembered as a kid, playing in my back yard and needing to wee so bad but not wanting to go in.
Just like at the house I grew up in, my yard is pretty private, so no one could see me playing with my dick through my jeans to hold it in - then and now - and I finished my beer. The urges were becoming strong now, and I kept saying to myself, “Not yet, you can wait,” and I got myself another beer. I had to piss so freakin’ bad! Then I could feel the wetness in my briefs. I was starting to leak, and I knew I’d start to spurt real soon. I ran for the lilac bushes and hastily yanked my half-hard dick out just as my sphincter gave up. I pissed for over a minute, and it was the most glorious feeling!
Then I went in for another glorious feeling.
Early Memories, Part 1
No one would be home until 6:00, so after school I had the house to myself for three hours. When the mood hit me, I wouldn’t pee at school all day and I’d take a long, long drink at the water fountain before I left, so I really had to go when I got home. I’d drink more water and/or soda and change into some old pants. Maybe I’d start my homework, but I wouldn’t be able to concentrate for long. I’d keep drinking and holding my pee until even squeezing my dick wouldn’t keep me from leaking, but I’d prolong that “got-to-pee-bad” feeling for as long as I could until I started to wet my pants. Then I’d take a very satisfying piss in the toilet.
When my parents got home we had supper by 7:00 and then I’d go up to my room, ostensibly to do my homework. All the water I’d been drinking was still working, and I learned that after a long hold I couldn’t hold as well for the next few hours, so I’d have another desperation session in my room. I had a plastic bag in my wastebasket in case I couldn’t get downstairs to the bathroom in time. I cleaned my own room and did my own laundry by that time, so no one knew what I was up to. After all that holding, sometimes I’d wake up before morning needing to pee BAD, usually with a hardon as well, so I’d have more fun with that.
I didn’t do this every day, not more than once a week.
I drank a monster, 50 ounces of water, and some sprite and held that for about three hours. Releasing that piss felt AMAZING!
A very impressive piss! If I had been standing next to you at a urinal, I would have been in awe! (Nice hose, too!) Certainly well over a liter.