Candy Hearts @southernalpha - Tumblr Blog

You know what I’m doing Michael? I’m illuminating you. Just like I tried centuries ago.

Family is just as much a choice. Elizabeth Hestridge as Mellie Connors Taron Eddgerton as Fred Connors  Tom Holland as Julian Connors

#ughhh #i remember this one ugh

targaryenofgallifrey

i have been sold like a brood mare. i have been shamed and betrayed, raped and defiled. do you know what kept me standing through all those years in exile? faith. not in any gods. not in myths and legends. in myself. in daenerys targaryen.

the world hadn’t seen a dragon in centuries until my children were born. the dothraki hadn’t crossed the sea, any sea, but they did for me. I was born to rule the seven kingdoms. and i will.

The entire thing was funny. Setting aside the fact the emotions that were tied to the situations regarding everyone involved, it was funny. Everett could talk to Thea and tell her that he had no fucking idea what was going on with him and wish her to date his cousin. Then on the other hand Everett could not stand being near Felicity or hear her because it just ended up in a fight, and she hadn’t even tried to be civil without a bark. His hands dug deep into his front jacket as he studied the woman and nodded. The last thing the two of they needed is for him to open up a door – because if he did then it would all be blamed on him again; except this time she would be in the right since it would be his big mouth that would start something. It appeared as almost she was saying that she was leaving, which again ironically he had no say in. So far today he had come to the conclusion that he did not know where his feelings were – if he was in love with either of these women any longer or it was just something in the past – and that he had no say regarding what either one of they decided to do. In all it was a great fucking day. Maybe he could take up smoking now, or take up the offers of doing weed. Then she mentioned the farm house, for someone that hated the dramatics she sure was full of it. Or maybe he had become truly apathetic towards everything for the longest time. Either way he smiled and nodded, “If that is what you want, I’ll do it. Though I am sure you are more than capable of burning things down yourself” She had done it with them. Burn and walk away – but then again it was he who was to be blamed for everything.

Felicity thought that she had put aside the runner part of herself. And for a long time she had, for eighteen years about. It had felt nice in a way to try something different but she hadn’t done it for herself. Now the reasons she had to stay had been ticked off one by one. Though with Mellie gone none of the other reasons really mattered. Still she could have seen herself staying for Justin before it had become clear how worthless whatever repairs they had done to their relationship were. “I’d have to see it again to do that. And I don’t want to set foot in that place ever again,” she said, “but hey if Kol’s still in town he can do it like he burned down my last house.” That had surprised her but in the end it hadn’t been bad. The house he had burned down had more memories of Singer and the life they had built together. Burning down a thing when he’d burned down everything else didn’t seem to matter as much. Actually the more she thought about it a lot more houses were going to have to be remodeled. Or she was going to have to get over the loss of Mellie and Felicity had a feeling that was not going to happen for a very long time. “What can I say? I might not know when to cut my losses until way too late, but I do learn eventually. It takes longer to train an old dog.” It didn’t take a genius to know he wasn’t talking about the house. She didn’t know what he wanted from her. For her to trust him? To value a friendship he’d walked away from time and time again because of some bullshit excuse about it being hard to talk to her? Only to immediately fall back into bed with her sister after swearing up and down that he was over her? Felicity knew she had a right to be pissed off about that. But even her feelings on that were a drop in the bucket compared to how she felt about Mellie being gone. And the great irony was that none of it mattered anymore. “I’m glad you got what you wanted, really I am. Burn the house down or don’t, it doesn’t matter to me. I’m hoping by the time I come back to this shithole town in a century or two it’ll be a crater and this will all be some heavily embellished urban legend.”

“Then do so.” There was no need for to mention her actions, Felicity did what Felicity wanted even if others disapproved. No one had ever stopped her before so he doubted he had any real voice when it came to this. If this had been any other time he probably would’ve asked what was going on – he figured she had finally heard the news that Mellie was gone, Jeremiah was back and with her limited and skewed knowledge of Thea back he could only assume was false scenarios she was coming up. Which he knew it was best to let her run loose with her imagination than to actually set her straight because nothing that the man ever said managed to do anything to the woman; yet this was the same woman that he refused to run back into the cycle with Thea and take off. Ironically he could not stand her as it was and yet he was not going to discard how he felt. So he walked towards the nearest bench and sat down as he waited for her next move, she could keep walking and he would walk the opposite way. She could leave in which he would continue or she could talk and he would do his best to not say bullshit within the first five seconds of whatever rant was coming out. Needless to say, he just was not in the mood.

“Fine,” Felicity said, “since we cannot do civility and honesty I’ll go.” That wasn’t a lie, their civility seemed to hinge on him lying. Sure a truth spell would be a convenient way to get answers out of him but even that was something she’d consider low. She was running out of reasons to stay in this town anyway. Maybe the thing to do would be to just call it quits and get out. Rob could move on with Christal, nearly everyone she’d sworn to protect would be safe--it was more tempting than she cared to think about at the moment. Who gave a shit if the Clarks burned this place to the ground? The only reasons she had to play nice with them were gone or seemed to enjoy lying to her face. She was sick of the rug being pulled out from under her. “Enjoy whatever you’re going to do with the town,” she said, her mind slowly making up towards how good an idea leaving actually was when you looked at everything. With a direction more in mind she began to think about the things she’d have to do to expedite getting the hell out. The Pack was definitely ready to move on from this madness anyways. With Mellie gone her obligation was fully to them now. “Just do me a solid and burn that stupid farm house to the ground at some point.” Sure maybe she would regret losing one of the houses that she had helped raise Mellie in, but then again she;’d had houses burn before. In the end the world just kept spinning. After all, that was why you had insurance.

After the dinner he had been forced to partake in and the aftermath he decided the best thing to do was to go take a walk at the park. Everyone else would be busy running around getting their shit together or at the bar drinking their sorrows away. It was the perfect place to escape that didn’t promise countless of questions to be answered because he had no desire to be taken advantage of because someone had decided this would be the ideal time to put an honest spell on the entire town. As if that was going to solve the countless of problems that the town had and was about to have. He had been walking around in the same pattern for the past thirty minutes in peace till he was no longer alone, tilting his head over he saw Felicity. Of course because lately Thea and Felicity’s interactions came in a package you know 1 day and 2 visits. Never had it been like that before but why should that stop the world from not making any sense? He was not going to break the silence, nope. Not today.

The silence in her house was driving her mad. She had to get out of there. All of this was just getting to be too much. Even if she had no intention of admitting it to anyone else, she could admit that to herself. And yeah there were people here who were counting on her to have her shit together but every weakness was just piling up. Was she really supposed to be here alone? What the hell was even keeping her here now? Taking a walk, the last person she wanted to run into happened to be standing there. Which was beyond what she wanted to deal with today. That familiar sting of betrayal was back, even though anyone would tell her she deserved to be standing there alone while Everett got back with his one true love. But if she had no choice but to be honest, that meant she was going to have to admit how much that sucked. And at the same time admit that she wanted no part of some fucked up love triangle with a man who had told her he wanted to be with her and apparently not meant a single word of it. “You were here first, I’ll fuck off,” she said. He could have the stupid park. That wasn’t a hill she was willing to die on.

“I choose Thea – think she can tell the difference between those two.” At least he was hoping that she would. If it had just been Jeremiah and or Everett he would’ve screamed the information from the highest hill. Thea was still his baby sister and he did what he did. There was not much to say about anything. “Tabitha wasn’t a chase. She was mine and I was hers, there was no one else.” And there hadn’t been. Jay had never been a real option if he was honest with himself. Justus back then would’ve done anything to get his father to take favor in him. Even if that was taken away he did fall in love with Tabitha, it had been real and it had been everything for him. Two equals had decided to choose each other and trust each other, till you know life managed to get in the way and fuck it all up. He didn’t go around centuries chasing a woman in the hopes to kill her and then fell in love with her but kept denying his feelings – and he wasn’t someone that took someone else’s individual and then got upset at the idea that the same would now take place; as if they had not started the trend. And he sure as hell had never not experienced love like one of his brother. So yeah he had managed to get spare that side of being an Adolph. “No. Living all by myself. Me, my van and my dog Brady – it’s a good life,” Less things to have to clean up, not to mentioned that he had less people that he had to check up on. “Hopefully everyone can stop for a moment or two and think before doing shit. At least you would think that we would have learned that by now, but hey – maybe that is too much for this town. He is by blood – but Jeremiah still just Jeremiah to me. Whenever you want to talk about how you are doing I’m here – not pushing, just reminding you.”

And there it was. I chose Thea. Felicity fought back the urge to laugh at the words that summarized pretty much everything. She had to remind herself that this wasn't her battle. “Even if she can't, I’m sure all of you will be fine soon. Isn’t that how family is supposed to function?” It was further proof she didn't have a family here, not that she needed the reminder. At least the facade wasn't up anymore. She just wished the lingering ache would also fuck right off. “I didn't chase Connors,” Felicity snapped, “and when he came back I never would have gotten with him if I had known he was still in love with someone else. I cannot believe I made that mistake twice.” This was an ill timed truth spell. She was holding it together. But that required holding. And it was impossible to do that if she couldn’t lie. All the shit she had been pushing back was just going to come out and Felicity was not in the mood to deal with that. Then again she shouldn’t have expected anything less from Jeremiah being back. They were just lucky the bullets hadn’t come out yet. “People would have a lot easier time thinking if you all hadn’t spent the past months hiding him,” she said finally, “I’m sure that Juliette will forgive you and that you all will be fine, but everyone else out there has no reason to trust any of you after this.” If they hadn’t wanted people to react, they shouldn’t have gone around for months lying. She was just glad this time she hadn't vouched for anyone. If she was going to be on the outside and viewed as an enemy, then she was going to do it on her own terms. Not groveling or trying to win back favor with a bunch of people who couldn’t give two shits about her. She shook her head when he said he was here for her, “No you’re not,” Felicity said, “you’re here to prove to yourself how good a brother you are after lying to my face for months,” she sighed, “I thought I was just an idiot about dating Connors, but I think you just showed me how much of an idiot I’ve been when it came to you as well. I thought we were getting better,” she let out a hollow laugh, “how stupid of me.” Hope really did tend to blind her sometimes. She wanted to believe that they had made progress. So badly she hadn’t made peace with the simple fact that he would always chose his other siblings. They could spend years trying rebuild but he’d knock everything down with one word from them. She really was that stupid to believe the progress meant anything to him. “Just tell me, did you have any interest in making things better between us or was that a lie too?” she asked, morbidly curious about the answer.

Thankfully by keeping his eyes close and laying back down it prevented him from rolling his eyes so far back that they would stay that way. Why should he ever expect anything different from Felicity. Everyone that had ever told him how complicated Felicity was he always had been on her side, said that they just didn’t understand her and that there was more to her – now he was wondering if that was actually was all in his mind and that Felicity was as difficult and had her nose as high as everyone else had mentioned. “You wouldn’t know the actual truth if it hit you,” his responses were simple and to the point, besides if she had been called then she was already running late to her meeting so there was no point in even talking that much. “Then you would think she would stick to what has worked in the past but hey maybe her happiness is worth everything. I guess she will have to decide to figure that out” Everett was aware that Juliette had been given a rough hand and that he really had no reason to blame her, he probably did it because she actually had the power to put an end to all this and kept holding out because of what was ok – or because at the end of the day they were all dealing with family members. “I am just going to do the quickest thing and just bow out. You’re right Felicity – about everything. Everything. So lets not talk anymore and you can get to your meeting with whoever was the one that called you down here.” If he thought about it no one would really blame him for starting to date someone else or moving on but he didn’t and every time he spoke to Felicity, she just gave him more and more reasons as to why coming back to them – why even trying to stick around was not even worth it.

Felicity could feel the second Everett was done. Laying down, eyes closed, he was shutting her out in every way shape and form. Which fit in line with the fact that he was back with Thea. Back with Jeremiah and Landon. Back where he belonged. “Not where you’re concerned,” Felicity said, “because every time I’m dumb enough to think we’re on the same page--” she could hear the commotion inside. The reminder of what was going on in there, “it winds up just being me wondering how the hell I can be so blind.” Everett constantly made her feel like a fool, ever since she had been stupid enough to believe he would notice she had vanished. Stupid enough to wait and hope while he had been doing the exact same thing he was doing now. “everything’s different now. It’s not just her or your coven.” Felicity wasn’t stupid enough to mention the baby thing. Whether or not Jeremiah knew, she had to assume that he was listening to everything. Especially around the area. He didn’t know about their whatever the hell they had been doing. If it came down to it Felicity would have rather kept the secret of Juliette and the kid, but she couldn’t pretend to be looking forward to further humiliation if Jeremiah found out. Which really was a testament given how unapologetic she had been about her feelings for the witch in front of her. And after everything she still managed to feel something when he said he was done. It was dulled, she wasn’t as stupid, but it was still a twist of a knife that made her cringe in self disgust. “Do what you want, but don’t lie to yourself and pretend we’ve been talking. Every time we get close to having anything resembling a real conversation, you run away.” Felicity had made her peace with being second in their farce of a relationship, but she hadn’t agreed to be the only one participating in it. Or their friendship. Everett seemed to think he was walking away wth having done none of the work to stay. She was supposed to be there to make sure some kind of mob didn’t descend on the house and actually start a war. Even though she knew that practically speaking a part of her wanted to say she couldn’t do it. But she had sworn she wasn’t going to fall apart again because of her feelings and she had to keep that promise. Besides she knew what side of all of this everyone was going to be on, no matter what Justin said.

“I get it, I do,” Right now if he was in Juliette’s shoes he would not bother himself with the one person that knew and kept the information to himself. At least she hadn’t come out and taken her rage out on him, he figure that he should probably count that as a win at least for right now that was. “Well they can all get in line right after me,” This was why for almost a decade Justus had just not shown face, why he had kept everything to himself and had kept doing random home depot projects because it didn’t involve having to take side or actually thinking about how he felt. The entire thing was overrated, he missed the days where Klaus or Christal were the enemy and the goal was simple; the days where things were rather black and white and not all gray as fuck. But he couldn’t spend so much time looking past so he made a choice and had no idea where the fuck he was going to go from here, “I was asking for it, but I doubt you can tell me where my loyalties are. I’m used to following orders and going with that – not thinking for myself. Think that managed to save me from doing that whole chase someone for love shit that you all did,” Even Felicity had done it with Singer and Everett – Thea for Everett – Alejandro for Christal and well Preston for sex, so everything made sense besides him. He never really had a north and it was something he was starting to realize here, “It may sound stupid but I don’t think there is a side here. I think that is what is going to fuck shit up,” This time this seem more complicated but he could be wrong, he was willing to admit that much. “Well Jay kicked me out and I got no place to stay. Gave my place to Thea because she needed somewhere but she needs time to figure out her situation as well so just got a van and can’t do projects there. Might take a job at the local handy store or something like that. What about you? How are you handling this?”

“You think you’re at the bottom of Juliette’s priorities, so I’m not sure that you do. You were the only family member who hadn’t chosen Jeremiah over her. I’m not saying that’s what you did, but on paper it looks that way.” Felicity had always been the odd one out among her siblings. Maybe because she had been married off at such a young age. She’d left home and that was the last time she could remember having one in any sense of the word. A humorless smile quirked her lips as Justin pronounced himself except from the chasing someone he loved shit. “So is Tabitha not a thing anymore?” she asked, “because I remember some very hard chasing on your end when it came to her.” Tabitha was the bane of her fucking existence. The woman had come back, become an immortal and then managed to die in the span of a day. Every time she died Justin went full of suicidal. Actually after Tabitha Justin had tried to choke her out which had been a pile of fun. Felicity could rank all of Justin’s females and Tabitha was somewhere near the very bottom. Actually Christal was the only sibling love she’d actually liked though the idea of her being with Alejandro when he was such a coward made her sick. “There’s a side,” Felicity said, “or there will be to a lot of people here. It’s going to be grey to some but not to most of them. Too. much has happened.” She couldn’t blame anyone for being afraid but being afraid made you do stupid shit. “There’s a lot of rumors going around I guess. I thought you were still crashing with Thea.” If her siblings were in town she liked to at least have a vague idea of where they were, “the rumors are going to be the thing that blows this shit up.” She didn’t like the idea for functioning on misinformation but when no one wanted to share there wasn’t much of a choice. She was trying to keep it cool right now but Justin asking how she was made the anger she was shoving down lick at her. She pushed it aside. “I’m fine,” she said, “like I said, we’re not at the trusting each other part so nothing to handle on my end. Just sorry your secret got spilled first. Besides its your brother that came back. I'm sure this is way more to deal with for your family.”

“Are you really going to pretend to take my truth?” Wasn’t this just a waste of time? As soon as Thea’s name was dropped he could see her mind doing twirls, and as much as he wanted to say that he was not fucking Thea nor was he interested in doing so but what use would that be? Whenever Felicity had made up her mind it was like dealing with a senior that had amnesia to get them to think otherwise. “You can believe that and I’ll believe what I want,” Like he said it was like dealing with an amnesia patient, except the amnesia patient by the 30th time would budge a bit and not push Everett to drastic means but, alas that was not here or there. Not to mention that he did believe they did owe each other shit, just because they had not worked out meant that everything they had once had was in the trash, but again not his place to say anything. “By all means go ahead,” Landon was there too but hey Felicity could handle herself, as he thought the conversation was over he laid back in his position to get some rest. The earlier day had been exhausted and he knew what was coming up after this, his energy was going to be needed. Then the Juliette subject was brought up once again. “Juliette has a tendency of never making a choice till it’s too late – once again that has come to bite her in the ass. So this whole forgiveness thing is moot.” Which it was. Juliette never knew where she stood with Everett – Everett always had looked out for Juliette, even in his downs he had. Juliette didn’t know if she wanted love or family hence the marriage to Jacob and then to Miller – and so on. He wasn’t passing judgement, he knew how hard it was to take a stand in the Clark family but once again her hesitation had created a void in the coven thus what was happening. “But thanks for the two cents, for someone that owes me nothing – I appreciate it.”

“Is your truth still different from the actual truth?” Felicity asked, “or have you finally decided to try being honest?” Of course Everett was on his bullshit. Why should she expect anything different from the man? He might have called her stubborn but at least she hadn’t spent the past years lying about literally everything. Everett couldn’t breathe without lying to her and the fact that Jeremiah was on the other side of the door with Thea who he had already started fucking again just should have proved it to her. “That’s what you’ve been doing the whole time.” She didn’t think for a second Everett thought he did anything wrong. Or that she had any right to be mad or hurt at him. He’d made it perfectly clear that her one mistake was enough to end everything, ignoring how hard he’d pushed her their entire relationship before that point. Juliette had been spot on. She wasn’t the right person for him and she never had been. Hell at least he’d been thorough in making sure that person was her sister before he sealed the deal. “Yeah, well, with you and Jeremiah and Esther constantly trying to steal her power and manipulate her, can you blame the woman for trying to finesse the situation? She’s got nothing to work with.” Felicity at least knew that there was no reasoning with her family, Juliette still hoped for all of them. Even Justin fucking knew to call it quits with trying to work with her and stuck with Thea. Maybe that was the thing that stung. How easy it was to be replaced after fighting for her own slot with them. It didn’t matter who did the replacing. “You know me, can’t stop opening my mouth with people who don’t want me to You’d think by now I’d learn to save my breath.” She sure as hell hadn’t forgotten Everett telling her to shut up. She hadn’t forgotten it from Singer either. Thankfully now as she kept it to fuck buddy stuff, if someone told her to shut up she told them to get the hell out and no-one’s feelings got hurt. Of course picking people who respected her to sleep with also helped in that regard. “I said we don’t owe each other anything. That’s mutual.” The idea of Everett owing her stuff would be useful but her pride had its limits. Not that she ever expected him to honor such a thing so it was pointless as well.

“I guess we will just see how things play out.” Which was all that he could do right now. He didn’t understand why he had decided to not tell Juliette, if everything was logical he should’ve trusted her the most considering she had a lot to lose when everything came out to light. He shrugged at the comment, Juliette knew – or should have known not to trust Thea that much considering how she had just left town though not everyone was practical when it came to friendships. “I think right now I am at the bottom of her worries considering that she has an entire coven that is divided in half,” With Jeremiah back there was no doubt that half of them are going to want Jeremiah to be put back as the leader and for Juliette to become second in command, after all that was how it was before. But nothing could ever return back to before because Juliette was carrying a baby that threaten everything that Jeremiah had ever built. “I am sure Thea will stop by and see Juliette and those two can settle accounts like anyone else.” How that would turn out was anyone’s guess but Thea could hold herself against Juliette – or she would have to because he was not going to step into that. Just like he hadn’t with the whole Felicity and Thea mess. “Yeah…I am starting to miss just working on home projects now. Now I am back in the middle of an entire mess where everyone is thinking I am an idiot and for the first time I got no idea what the fuck I am doing.” A rare thing to admit but he figured everyone else would catch on soon. Killing Jeremiah seemed like the ideal option but was it the right one? Trusting Callum was something he wanted to do but could he? What move would end up costing him Thea? It was a fucking minefield.

“I disagree. You’re never at the bottom of anyone’s worries.” Justin was one of those people who thought he didn’t matter when he absolutely did. That was a good and a bad thing. She would bet that Juliette didn’t consider Justin a low priority, especially not with her history of familial betrayal. Felicity just hoped that she felt the same way about Justin that their entire family did. That he wouldn’t get any consequences for what he had done. Felicity knew what it was like to have family physically punish you and the betrayal that went along with that wasn’t something she would wish on him. No matter what he did. “I’ms are they will,” Felicity said with a shrug. It wasn’t any of her business. She and Thea may have shared the same blood, but Felicity and Juliette had more in common. Including being left behind by Thea. “People don’t thin you’re an idiot, I think they just don’t understand your choices,” she said, “people can be dumb about what they don’t understand.” She knew the second Thea came back where Justin’s loyalties would lie if it came down to it. And she had accepted that a long time ago. She was a great replacement when Thea, Alejandro or Prescott were busy. She had made her peace with that a long time ago. “And this isn’t the first time you’ve had no idea what you’re doing, might be just the first time you’re admitting it.” Felicity looked at him carefully, “if you were asking for my advice, and I don’t think you are, but if you were I would figure out where I stood and go with that. Rather than let myself get lumped in with sides I didn’t completely agree with.” She shuddered at the memory of when people thought Singer’s opinion was her own, that she was just going to go along with what he said. Worse was the fact that for a brief moment she probably would have, if she hadn’t suddenly been snapped back to reality. “no-one’s running in at the moment to murder everyone. You do have time to take a position. Or to do some house projects that might help clear your head, since that’s your thing.”

“What story are you sticking to? I only ask because I need to know which storyline I am going to follow. Because if you are thinking I brought him back alive then I already celebrated when I brought him back and am here just to watch my handy work get the job done,” Had he thought about bringing Jeremiah back? Yes. There was no denying that, killing Jeremiah had managed to alter things in him that he still did not know how to explain but had he? No. Not a detail that would actually be get told so he knew better than to waste time trying to point it out. Not to mentioned he had been ordered to keep Jeremiah alive, another thing that would fall deaf and sure he could’ve told everyone and warned them but then he would be dealing with what he was right now. At least he had been given some months in peace. “You didn’t come to check. That would require for you to leave room to be wrong which we both know you didn’t. You came here for your own peace so let’s just call it what it is, we do owe each other that much.” Sighing he managed to sit up and face Felicity, what was there else to say? That he was terrified for what was happening? What good would that do for either one of them. Right now Jeremiah was priority and keeping Juliette healthy was the other one so till he figured out how to do those two he didn’t need to add another mess into his life. “Thea is in there as well. Thought I should mention that to you too.” Since you know they were keeping the whole honesty thing going. If he added that they were friends did it matter? He placed his bets on a no so he didn’t even bother to clarify it. “Juliette never forgave me, Felicity. I never forgave myself. You should know that better than anyone. A sister is never going to forgive someone that killed her brother – even if that brother is Jeremiah.”

“Are you really going to pretend that matters at all?” Felicity countered. Everett hadn’t cared enough what she thought to stay, nor had he told her the truth in the many times they had crossed paths since they had been back. “I know you didn't bring him back even though you wanted to. I’m just surprised you’re not enjoying him being back more.” Everett drank the family Kool Aide. Even though in Felicity’s eyes family only got to do so much before they lost the right to that unconditional love shit. “I came here because I was asked to be here. Because I work with the magic council and I cut a deal with your elders a long time ago. I’d have to be as stupid as you think I am if I thought my own peace was anywhere in this place.” She knew he was goading her and she knew she should just walk away. But Everett was uniquely good at getting under her skin. “And we don’t owe each other anything, so lets not bullshit that we do.” Something in her heart clenched at the thought of Thea being there before she shoved it angrily away. Everett could hook up with whoever he wanted to. If he wanted to go back to an ex she happened to be related to, that was his prerogative. “Okay,” she said, “well with all the screaming inside there she’s probably up and dressed so we can cut down on the awkwardness.” Again she had to remind herself that she was there to do a job and this was all just another test she had to get through. Swallowing back the bitter taste in her mouth, she held onto her cool as best she could and tried to remember if this date still qualified her to win the when would he and Thea fuck pool. “She was trying to,” Felicity said, “you just didn’t see it. Maybe this time it’ll be different.” Juliette always tried to forgive him and Jeremiah which was a lot more than Felicity tried to do anymore when it came to her family members. Then again life had long since shown her that forgiving someone was usually the way to get hurt and humiliated over again. Not something she was anxious to do repeatedly with people who used family as an excuse.

At least she was not screaming at him, that was a plus. It was one that he would take. There was a lot of shit flying his direction, he couldn’t act surprise because he had figured that this would happen if he kept his promise to Thea. He could only imagine how Thea was holding up and how Everett was doing. A little bit less on the latter considering that he had known more than anyone involved that this was going to get out of control. “It’s fine, I know that I signed up for that when I kept my mouth shut.” He had hoped that things would just calm down after a couple of days, a naive thought he was aware but it didn’t stop from him wishing for it. “This is still the calm though – Thea is still around and Jeremiah is keeping his silence with the protection of people up high so basically just taking things as they come,” Could he do anything else? Besides the one move he made he knew that he couldn’t do anything else and he knew better than to tell people what he had done so soon. Not like he had managed to fuck up anyone else, he had just looked out for the people he knew would get the most affected in this giant fuck. He moved towards the bar leaning forward once he reached and pouring himself a drink, “Juliette won’t talk to me. Jay is Jay. Callum can’t trust me. You and I are well You and I – overall the only thing that has changed is that Juliette doesn’t trust me anymore – I just didn’t know which sister to protect. She has Callum and Thea – Thea has no one.” She couldn’t count on Felicity and Alejandro was gone. Preston was nowhere and was probably on his playboy tendencies so Justus decided to take care of her, “I just don’t know how to proceed when loyalties are not defined.”

Felicity didn’t know what to say to him or if there was anything really to say at this point. She couldn’t bring herself to give voice to the emotions churning inside her. Instead she reached for the civility like she did with Everett. Dug for the scrap of dignity she could wrap herself in as everything shifted again. She had a responsibility to everyone else not to blow the pipeline for information for as long as possible. She had to be smarter about this than she had been in the past. And if she looked at it that way, it would delay the inevitable day when it wasn’t worth it anymore and she tore that pipeline down. “Still it’s a rotten position to be in,” Felicity said finally. But it was a position that Justin always chose. “Don’t forget Thea is Juliette’s best friend. I’m sure you’re getting some of the blowback from that.” Justin had chosen Thea and Thea had chosen Everett. Juliette wasn’t the first person to lose a friend to them wanting to be in Everett’s pants. But Felicity was very aware of how much the feeling sucked. “Hopefully she can separate the two of you and go from there, but it might not happen anytime soon.” She shrugged, deciding that honesty was information, “You protected Thea because you two are family,” Felicity said, “Juliette and I are outsiders, we both know that,” she stopped, “well I know that, but Juliette’s smart. She probably knows that too. I think deep down we both would have expected you to make that choice.” There was no malice in her voice. It was a simple statement of the facts. Felicity didn’t believe for a second Thea was alone, but Thea had always played the damsel card better than she had. “I think actions define loyalties,” Felicity said, “everyone’s scared and jumping to conclusions. They think they know what side you’re on because of what you did.” It would have seemed clear to Felicity as well if she didn’t know Justin like she did.

The witch draped his hand over his eyes and kept his position the same. Hey if they had called Felicity then by all means she could walk in Jeremiah doing his shit and putting everyone in rings of fires and burning them inside out. He no longer was warning people over common sense things. “Then by all means go right in. I am sure they are waiting for you.” Everyone was dropping by, in many ways he was waiting for Juliette to come down here and make a storm but he also was aware that she was pregnant so maybe for once she was actually thinking with her heart and not letting her head get the best of her. Everett could comment about how her thoughts stopped mattering the moment she pushed him out but there was no need to open up that door. Being civil was the best thing that they had going on and that meant not letting comments get to him or trigger any sort of reaction. It didn’t stop the wondering though – had she even talked to Thea while she was back? Was she even trying to get the family she kept thinking about together or was Thea all out here alone with Justus protection. The witch had been surprised that Justus had actually kept his mouth shut with everything that was going on, especially since anyone that was anyone knew that Justus was closer to Felicity – it kind of proved that the damage between the relationship between those two was really fucked or that Justus had matured even the tiniest bit. “I concur,” he replied, he figured he should say at least something. It wasn’t that they didn’t matter, it was just they didn’t have an input this was a family mess as he was concerned so outsiders perspective was mute for now.

“Surprised you’re out here instead of enjoying your cousin being back.” Felicity wasn’t stunned that Everett was out here instead of dealing with the consequences of his actions. Just vaguely disappointed. She had learned during their relationship not to expect anything from him. Not as a friend, not as a partner, not as anything. It was starting not to cut as deep. In a way it made her sad, after all if someone could hurt you that meant that they were someone you cared about. It was always easier to cut the line though when the person on the other side didn’t care. And Everett didn’t. Actually that was pretty universal of the men who she loved. They could both hear the sounds from inside the house, muffled as they were. Felicity wasn’t afraid of a little pain, she never had been. But she had never believed the saying that pain made you stronger. Pain was a test. That was all. “Not that it’s any of my business, but Juliette’s forgiven you before. Why should this be any different?” Juliette was the only one that could make Everett look like that. Felicity hadn’t been waiting for him to say something different about her opinions. She was very much an outsider and always had been. But Juliette being mad at Everett was the only thing that seemed to give him pause these days. Or maybe Thea being mad at him too, but given her sisters involvement Felicity had a feeling that wasn’t something that happened too much. Not that she expected it to. The only time her sister had shown a spine when it came to Everett was when she had left him all those years ago, but that Thea was gone. “I knew you would. Can’t blame a girl for double checking though.”

The only person he felt terrible for not saying anything to was Felicity. Their relationship had been getting better and had it just been Everett that had asked him to keep his mouth shut he wouldn’t had hesitated in spilling the information, but it was Thea that had trusted him with the intel and she was still his sister as well. Even with everything that had happened between them family still meant something. He walked in as he saw his older sister sitting down, “I am sorry.” He meant the words and the sentiment behind them. It had never been his intentions to keep quiet and for that action to cause any hurt. “I promised Thea I wouldn’t say anything and I had to make a choice.” Had it been the correct choice? Time would tell he figured. It is not as if he had been told a lot, he had just been told that Jeremiah was alive and he had requested Thea’s presence and Everett was aware of this. Yes, he knew that Jay had lost his magic and that there was a connection but once again – he owe nothing to Jay. Whereas in this situation he did owe Felicity something – he didn’t know what. “I know that probably means nothing, but I didn’t know what to do and we were still not ok and – I’m sorry. If you want me to leave I will.”

Unlike her siblings, when the word disownment had been put on her Felicity had accepted it. Accepted that divide and the consequences. She was sure when word got around that Everett had left her, everyone said that was what she deserved. Felicity had accepted that as a part of this as well. “You don’t need to be sorry,” Felicity said, “you kept your promise to your sister, there’s no shame in that.” She knew Juliette wasn’t going to see it the same way, but Justin had a much more open relationship with her. And she and Thea were friends. That was a clusterfuck she was almost glad to be out of, the removed sister from the mess. “It doesn’t mean nothing, it’s fine. We’ve got secrets and shit we aren’t telling each other. It’s just luck of the draw that yours came out first,” Felicity said, “I’m sorry for the shit you’re going through with that and your other sisters. Truly I am. But this doesn’t really change things between you and I. We’re still in the same shitty place.” She shrugged, “you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.” She couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him over this or feel betrayed. Actually she would have been surprised if he had told her. “How are you holding up?” she asked him.

Everett knew that he had unleashed hell, to be fair he wasn’t the one that brought Jeremiah alive but that detail would get lost in all the madness. Which was something he could live with as well, it was amazing how much things he could live with lately. As he made himself comfortable in the front porch of his house because Jeremiah had decided to take the entire house and make it his stupid little convention stop for everyone – and by everyone he meant the damn elders as well as the stupid little magic councils throughout the entire layers. Everett knew that there would come a time where he would have to give a fuck but till it came he was just going to see how this all played out, this made him regret the decision of not becoming an elder when he had been given the invitation. He could just leave whenever he wanted. Hearing footsteps he kept his eyes closed, “Listen I am sure you have a lot to say and what not but Jeremiah is right inside so I suggest keeping your thoughts to yourself till a move is taken.”

It was a good thing her teeth couldn’t break grinding on themselves. With how hard her jaw was clenched, Felicity was sure it would have happened by now if it could. She had gotten comfortable with Everett being someone safe, someone who could calm her down. But there had been plenty of times in their long history when she had wanted to murder him. Going back to that with how close they had gotten was never something she had wanted or planned. But it was probably something she should have seen a lot sooner. On the scale of betrayals they had dealt each other, she knew this was a big one. Actually it was an earth shattering one. Because this one involved Mellie. Felicity had done everything to make sure the Mellie had a safe home and a relationship with whatever parent was around. She stayed out of it, but some part of her always assumed that if the girl was in danger or had done something dangerous, it would be told to her. She had never claimed to be the girl’s mother. She was her aunt. But she had been the girl’s primary caretaker for most of her life. Since Thea, Gemma and Everett all split in varying degrees. Maybe it had been wishful thinking to assume that counted for anything when it came to her safety. “I’ve got nothing to say to you,” Felicity corrected him, “Magic council called me to be here and your Elders want to talk to me so here I am.” Jeremiah probably also wanted to gloat but Felicity could handle that. At least someone had stepped up so she wasn’t going in blind for what they wanted to talk to her about. And when Jeremiah gloated he tended to let things slip. “As far as I’m concerned moves have already been taken, I’m just not stupid enough to think my thoughts on them matter to anyone in this house.”

stuckinreversemode

venomwrites

stuckinreversemode: This house has three bedrooms, what if there’s never anyone to sleep in them? And the kitchen, what if there’s never anyone to cook for? I do, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking, “You idiot! I mean, you’re the stupidest woman in the world, you bought a house for a life you don’t even have!” Why did you do it then?

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