and love and love and love and love and love

side art blog // vent art / ex christian rambles // pls interact // reblogs welcome // insta: @space_madge // i only write stories with happy endings // we’re healing

[space-madge]

quick hello to my mutuals, old and new!

i haven’t been active on this account for, well, maybe a year or so, and just wanted to say, for the people just finding this account: it does get better. i’m not active on this account because i don’t think about this all the same way; the fear the was built into me from a young age doesn’t grip me the same way anymore. i’ve left my harmful religious community, found a new family, and i’m healing.

it might be hard to see when you’re just starting to see the cult that surrounds you, but it will get better. bit by bit. you’ll have queer sex for the first time and have panic attacks for a week because all you can think about is god’s disappointment, then you’ll have queer sex for the fifteenth, hundredth, countless times and you’ll forget about all that bullshit because you love your partner and your partner loves you. people will try to paint things in binaries and you’ll say, fuck that, i can smell bullshit a mile away now.

my healing has taken and will take a long, long time, and i’ll still listen to julien baker and ache for that old relationship with a god i thought cared for me. i’m learning to care for myself in the way i was taught god did, and honestly? doing a much better job of it.

be patient with yourself. you don’t need to figure it all out (that’s another lie from christianity). i know it’s rough, but it’s okay to not know. no one really does.

christianity has done a lot of harm; you are not alone. if you haven’t already, you will find your people. and when you do find that wild love that isn’t dependent on what you believe, god. god, there is nothing like it.

i wish you all the best <3

[space-madge]

what goes on at elders meetings i guess (idk I was never the right demographic to be in one)

[space-madge]

this piece is criticizing many different failings of the church at once, but comment what you think it is ;)

[space-madge]

ode to generational cycles of trauma or something

[space-madge]

“Can I show you some angsty vent art from November 2020?” I ask my partner. We’re in bed, cuddling, noses pressed together, his arm around me. We’ve been talking about a memory that recently resurfaced for me, that I call “pretty fucked up, right?” and he calls “physical, emotional, and religious child abuse, babe.”

“Yeah,” he says, so I show him this comic. (“I’m obsessed with the attention to detail on your dad’s nose. You really captured that.” “I had half my head shaved then. I look like a rooster.” “You do!”)

That was the month before I left my parents’ house. Left, kicked out, whatever. It’s been four years of therapy, four years of panic attacks and learning emotional regulation, four years of building love and support into my life. Four years of forgiving myself, over and over, slowly growing gentler.

“I don’t feel like that anymore,” I tell him. I haven’t in a while. I am safe, with him, with our friends, and with myself. “I love our home.”

[space-madge]

bruh....i didnt even know there was such a thing as an ex-christian community. and the traumatic experiences i had growing up christian were so universal. its kind of sad how much i relate to your posts...but also uplifting, cause you always include a good ending. makes me feel not alone. thank you so much for your work. -- a trans ex-christian learning to heal

<3

[space-madge]

*yelling from a great distance* I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOURE A SINNER

[thebibliocat]

[image id] A 4 panel comic of two people standing and talking. There is a big space between them. One character is drawn in pink with a long ponytail and the other character is drawn in green with short hair. The art style is simplistic and sketchy.

Panel 1: Green says "I don't really believe" and Pink interrupts Green to say "I'm sorry that the fake Christians hurt you." Panel 2: Green tries to speak, but Pink's speech bubble overlaps theirs, drowning them out. In fragments, Green says "Actually it wasn't about people, about questions, topics, and divine hiddenness and the inconsistencies of..." Pink ignores Green and says "Real Christianity isn't like that." Panel 3: Green tries to continue explaining and says "And the Original sin doctrine-." Pink's arms flail outward and they shout "You can't blame God for what people did." Green says "The concept of hell, particularly eternal conscious torment but annihiliationism as well..."

Panel 4: Green tries to say "the incompatibility of free will" but the rest of their speech dissolves into small unintelligible squiggles. Pink is leaning back and with hands around their mouth. Pink shouts "Real Christianity is about love." The two characters look smaller and even further apart than they did at the beginning.

The bottom of the image is signed “Madge” by the artist. [end id]

[space-madge]

*yelling from a great distance* I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOURE A SINNER

[ungodlydandelion]

[ID: a 4 panel comic featuring two people, one in purple (left) and one in green (right).

Panel 1 begins with green saying, "I don't really believe-"

Purple interrupts with, "I'm sorry those fake christians hurt you." "Fake christians" is underlined.

Panel 2 shows the figures slightly further apart. Green says, "actually it wasn't about people, [obscured] about questions, topics, and divine hiddenness and the inconsistencies of-"

Purple interrupts, "Real christianity isn't like that." Their text bubble obscures a large portion of green's speech, and the word "real" is in all caps.

Panel 3 shows the figures even further apart. Green continues, "and the original sin doctrine and [obscured] ... concept of hell, particularly eternal conscious torment but annihilationism as well-"

Purple, now shouting on tip-toe, interrupts again with, "You can't blame god for what people did!" It is in all caps and covering a large portion of green's text.

Panel 4 shows the figures even further apart. Green continues, "the incompatibility of free will and -". The rest of their statement is cut off by purple's text bubble.

Purple, now cupping their hands around their mouth, shouts over green, "real christianity is about love". "Real" is underlined and the entire text bubble is capitalized.

The comic is signed "madge". End ID.]

[space-madge]

I love your art <3

ty my dear <3

[space-madge]

run

[thebibliocat]

[image id] A comic of two people on a couch. One is highlighted in green and the other is highlighted in purple. The art style is simplistic and scribbly.

Panel 1: Green puts an arm around Purple and says “Babe, I have some good news.” Panel 2: Green leans back and continues “You're a terrible person. Entirely sinful, disgusting, depraved, unlovable -“ Panel 3: Green puts their arm down and says “Completely worthless you could never be good enough for me -“ Panel 4: Green leans over Purple and says “But I love you.” There is an asterisk at the end of the sentence. At the bottom of the image, a corresponding asterisk has a note that says “As long as you follow my rules (and of you don’t I’ll allow you to be endlessly tortured}.” The bottom of the image is signed “Madge” by the artist. [end id]

[space-madge]

not the terfs getting ahold of my condemning transphobia in exvangelical communities post 🤪

mfers have so much hate they have to go on to a 200 note post by a trans person just to try to make them feel like shit

y’all. you’ve set aside so many other bigoted beliefs. please, please, look into the harm your essentialist gender beliefs are causing.

[space-madge]

*yelling from a great distance* I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOURE A SINNER

[space-madge]

[resignedseraph]

J*sus: okay let’s go through this one more time… If we can’t have the self control not to behave inappropriately around women… what do we do?

The Church at large: ..control women’s bodie—

J*sus: NO. You gauge your eyes out and I will do it for you if we have to go over this again

[hot-wire-this-old-car]

Keep reading

[space-madge]

hi, i just wanted to say that i was feeling really panicked and sick remembering my childhood in evangelical christianity, and i found your blog and went through the whole thing. i usually feel so misunderstood since none of my friends are ex-religious. it seems like we had a lot of the same experiences. i dont feel alone anymore. thank you

I didn't know there was any ex-evangelical community when I deconverted, but finding one on here and on instagram (as well as slowly collecting childhood friends who've slowly come to their senses and left) has been so vital to me. I'm glad I could bring a little bit of that to you through my work <3 the hurt of evangelical christianity is broad and deep. you definitely are not alone <3

[space-madge]

[itsremorseofcourse]

[ID: A comic about forgiveness featuring three characters, colored in red, green, and pink. Red appears older than the other two, and seems to be meditating after an argument.

Red: Okay, what do you need to say?

Green: Sorry for stealing your candy.

Red: And?

Green: Will you forgive me?

Red looks at Pink expectantly.

Red: And how do you answer your brother?

Pink: I'm glad you recognize your behavior was wrong, but I'm not obligated to immediately forgive you. I'm allowed to feel hurt and angry, and you are going to have to do more to repair this relationship than a few words.

/ED]

[space-madge]

[space-madge]

[fagofgod]

[ID: a digitally-drawn comic. there are four pages, with one panel on each one. the first panel shows person A saying “people only become atheist because they want to sin.” the second panel shows person B saying “yeah. true freedom is only found in christ.” the third panel shows the two of them behind bars, with chains around their hands. person A says “they’re sacrificing eternity for brief happiness.” below this, person B says “what a shame. we must keep warning them.” the fourth panel shows a more vibrant scenery, with mountains and flowers over the grass. both of the people are being held in a cell. outside the cell, there are people playing. a few butterflies are flying over the scene. person A is saying “hey! stop!”. /End ID.]