i put the disaster in ever after @spacednp - Tumblr Blog

*walks into room labelled employees only*

Employee: hey this room is for employees only

Me: then how am I standing here?

Manager: damn ur hired

Hi sorry to disappear and come back so much but I made a rebubble! It has like cute gay designs and things like that & it’d mean a lot if you guys checked it out! Here’s the link. This whole virus situation has me fucked financially so this is my way of trying to combat that. Thank you guys so much ily

nocontextpsych

i-hate-chick-fil-a

Ladies and gentlemen, listen to your gut instincts and record racist and sexual harassing conversations with your smartphone.

moshita-deactivated20180620

tinygaysouffle

bUT SEX ED IN SCHOOL WILL CORRUPT THE CHILDREN IT’S OKAY THEIR PARENTS WILL TELL THEM

homoluigi

Im the parent putting doctor pepper in my kids bottle

unclefather

people only say it’s a free country when they’re doing something that they absolutely 100% should not be allowed to do

unclefather

like beating their meat inside of a mission barbecue

spacednp

I was thinking racism but this works too

unclefather

people only say it’s a free country when they’re doing something that they absolutely 100% should not be allowed to do

yehudah

trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine

they-were-a-skater-gay

How on earth would they be able to tell that a bear is trans. I’m not saying they can’t be but how would they communicate that.

yehudah

:/

schizm-deactivated

this is so fucking funny

specialstarfish

update:

fortooate

we the jury find the defendant not guilty your honor

askmichigan

Smells like disappointment

ratfuck

oh fuck you

ratfuck

op has michigan in their url this is propaganda

nezclaw

more astronauts are from ohio than anywhere else. coincidence? i think not

kumboochies

Imagine being a child in Ohio wanting to go to space just so you can experience something for the first time in your life.

conceptblogfromaconcepthuman

acoolguy

theweirdwideweb

What was the cringiest trend of the decade? My vote is flash mobs.

jenthepig

It’s the inexorable rise of fascism in the west, in my opinion.

theweirdwideweb

Ha ha what about those mustache finger tattoos

mad--house

Icelandic Phallological Museum

altusername2

argumate

If Tumblr really do change their threading interface I’m going to miss the

argumate

turns out actually I don’t, those threads were hell.

chaoticallyprecise

SO in Britain all the swans may belong to the Queen, but lemme tell you about Hamburg:

Hamburg is built around a river, so there’s many many many canals (the 2400+ bridges put Venice and Amsterdam to shame), as well as a fairly sizeable lake (here the smaller section, innit precious):

This means a shittonne of swans

(stay away from the swans) (seriously don’t go sailing on the lake because they WILL chase you). Obvs swans aren’t made for cold weather (p sure they’re all Australian immigrants actually) so Hamburg has an official job position to take care of the issue.

This dude’s name is Olaf Nieß (trying to spell his name on non-German keyboards must be fun):

This guy’s job title is “Schwanenvater”, aka “swan father”, and his job literally consists of getting swans to safety before the winter chill sets in. How does he do this, you wonder? Easy: he goes up to EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SWAN in the city and sticks them in barges. I’m serious: