I Want A Complete Re-Do @spacemillipede - Tumblr Blog

i try to be a teenage dirtbag but socializing scares me and i don’t like getting in trouble and i give a lot of fucks

#so sad I’ll never be a teenage dirtbag #my time has come and gone

Week 1 of biochem research: wow this is so fun! I’m learning so much!

Week 3 of biochem research: why does everything smell like LB and agar??? Is it the E. Coli??? Did I give myself E. Coli??? Why the fuck does my room smell like LB??

#research is still fun #I’m just wishing I was more nose blind than I already am #maybe I’m losing it #inhaled too much bleach in the past three weeks

spacemillipede

I've read a couple of fics where Montreal somehow ends up watching a hollanov evidence video and connecting the dots which is fun and all, but can I propose that Hayden "Shane Hollander's Best Friend" Pike ends up accidentally saving Shane by pointing in the recommended and being like "omg fans are so delusional, look there's one with me and Shane" (and you know the fans in the HR universe would def ship Shane and Hayden) which breaks the awkward kind of contemplative silence and the team decides to watch it because lol omg fans are so crazy and Shane was kind of sweating because in his eyes he is so so so obviously in love with Ilya and now he's so relieved because yea he might think Hayden is attractive but first and foremost, that's his best friend! but Shane is like lowkey Hayden's bi awakening and he lowkey has like a little man crush on Shane and it is so embarrassingly obvious in the video, like Hayden is always getting caught giving Shane these soft little looks and if the silence after the hollanov video was loud this one is deafening and now Hayden is the one sweating until Shane starts laughing and he cracks a joke about how there's no way the two of them are smart enough to hide a secret affair under Jackie's nose and that gets the guys going because if there's one thing known amongst all of Montreal it's that Jackie's the brains in the Pike household and then JJ who's been scrolling through the recommended literally yells because there's a video with Ilya and Cliff (again, you know people would be shipping them, even if it's purely crack) and everything else gets forgotten in the face of Ilya "man whore" Rozanov being in love with Cliff "dumb enforcer" Marleau

stabthesoup

@spacemillipede's tags

#I was too lazy to add the tags myself #so thank #much appreciated #heated rivalry

I know Hayden is supposed to be kind of oblivious to the fact that Shane is gay (and in love with Ilya) but I really want a fic where he figures it out, but only because of something dumb

Luke Prokop (the first openly gay person to have a contract with the nhl, although he plays in the ahl) was talking in an interview (I think, might've been a podcast) about the locker room culture and how weird some of the stuff is. Like evidently talking about each other's dicks is like a daily occurrence

So in my mind, Hayden, being a hockey dude, was one time talking with Shane, and for some reason he starts talking about their teammates dicks. Just like ranking them or some dumb shit. And he asks Shane's opinion, and Shane's like idk and Hayden's like what do you mean you don't know who has the biggest dick on the team, do you not pay attention in the showers??? and Shane is like this is a trap, this is a trap, he knows that I'm gay and he's trying to get me to admit to staring at our teammates dicks in the shower, never mind that Shane doesn't stare at his teammates dicks and the fact that Hayden is evidently looking at their teammates dicks doesn't really register with Shane because Hayden's not gay so it doesn't matter that he's looking at dicks but Shane is gay so when he looks at dicks then it's GAY. and Shane takes so long trying to think of the right answer that won't alert Hayden to the fact that he's gay that the two just kind of end up staring at each other in silence and it's only because Shane is hesitating so much to talk about their teammates dicks that Hayden sees the fear in his eyes and is like oh. okay. that kind of makes sense actually. but he doesn't want to make Shane uncomfortable or make him feel like he has to say anything so he kind of just bumps his shoulder against Shane's and keeps talking and Shane is just some odd mix of terrified that Hayden knows and relieved that he's not going to treat him differently

#Hayden's immediately like well OBVIOUSLY I have the biggest dick on the team #and Shane fires back on autopilot: more like you're the biggest dick on the team #and Hayden's like nah dude I'm telling you why do you think I have four kids?#it's because my dick is SO massive that Jackie can't stay away from it #and Shane's rolling his eyes and before he can stop himself he says my dick is literally bigger than yours #and Hayden's like oh really??? you think so?? what do you know about big dicks????#and Shane #without thinking #says how to suck them #and then he freezes because oh fuck things were so good and normal why would he say that #but Hayden just starts lightly laughing incredulously because fuck if he doesn't love it when Shane's snarky #then he says “figures that being a kiss ass isn't enough for you”#as Shane's leaving Hayden pulls him into a tight hug and tells him “i love you man. nothing could ever change that”#and if shane holds on for longer than usual that's no one's business but his and haydens #this is so dumb lol #I just think Hayden figuring it out but only because of how non-gay Shane acts is funny #like the whole time Shane's played hockey he can't figure out why they are all so obsessed with talking about each other's dicks #they're there for hockey thank you very much #if they want to be freaks they can do that on their own time #of course the one exception is Ilya #if he wants to get freaky in the locker room then Shane will allow it #also very important to me that Hayden also loves when Shane's an asshole #everyone knows that Ilya is delighted when Shane is an asshole #but Hayden and Rose are as well #he's funny and kind of an asshole and they all love him for it #heated rivalry #shane hollander #hayden pike #hollanov #ilya rozanov

lewadny

happy june to everyone, especially my fellow aroaces

transandrogyny--turtlebug

I hold the idea that women and (all genders) are just as capable of harm as cis men are because we are all flawed people, it's just that cis men have historically held more power and so they get away with harm more than women/ other genders. Thinking that women are less capable of harm makes me think that you don't see women as people, you know? It's the benevolent sexism stuff

digitalmyyth

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

#me but at my sister #what do you mean you needed clothes in college #just go to savers like we usually do #and you just bought stuff you’d only wear a few times #what’s wrong with you

loontattoo

see unfortunately I have this condition where if I am not explicitly told that I am a part of the ingroup then I will assume I must be part of the outgroup

foeofcolor

Only day you can rb this

isuggestforcemasc

Born to have 10 inches, forced to bleed 10 litres

#when I was in middle school a girl told me she though that if I was a guy I’d be hung #at the time I was like weird thing to say but whatever #now tho #I’ve let it go to my head just a tad lol

Shoutout to whoever is playing sax rn, genuinely the highlight of my day

#I love urban areas!!!#I love living near other people!!!#I love listening to some random person play music!!!

xenosaurus

it’s a shame more vampire media doesn’t pull from vampire bat behavior because they’re such sweeties. they can only survive their incredibly specialized diet because bats will share blood with colony members that didn’t find a meal! there’s evidence that suggests the donors sometimes initiate this behavior themselves by approaching hungry bats! the colonies are mostly harems of females with a few males but they’ve been observed letting unrelated males in when it gets cold so they can all stay warm! cute little social critters!

xenosaurus

@yupekosi your tags have created such a beautiful world

#recs???#any recs???#pls??

best-of-inspirobot

tearlessrain

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

tearlessrain

Rule #2

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,

For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.

You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,

But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,

Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,

For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,

And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,

For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,

And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,

So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

catchymemes

MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE