The Road Less Traveled

If you're lost and alone or you're sinking like a stone...carry on. May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground...carry on.

[ms-mazarin]

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased

[dayst-ffxiv]

A nice reference list for those that can’t just think of what word they are looking for. But remember that using “said” isn’t a bad thing. “Said” is universal and versatile and each of these words have their own meaning, so it isn’t always interchangeable.

[ladiablesse]

please don’t forget about breonna taylor in all this. just because her death wasn’t caught on camera and thoughtlessly circulated doesn’t mean that her story is less important. black women’s lives matter.

[hevrtbreaks]

my friend made this to make it easier to contact louisville mayor and demand justice in her name. click here to be redirected, it’s a simple and objective email format, spread and don’t let her be forgotten.

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Cause

VERB (used with object): 1) to be the cause of; to bring about

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Sacrifice

NOUN:

1) an act of offering to a deity something precious especially: the killing of a victim on an altar

2) something offered in sacrifice

3) a: destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else 

b: something given up or lost

5) sacrifice hit (baseball)

VERB:

1) to offer as a sacrifice

2) to suffer loss of, give up, renounce, injure, or destroy especially for an ideal, belief, or end

3) to sell at a loss

4) to advance (a base runner) by means of a sacrifice hit

5) to kill (an animal) as part of a scientific experiment

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This...right here...is my...JAM! I've been following these guys (and gal on the keyboards) for a while now. When I tell you that their musical evolution has progressed so far and they have become so much mature in everything that they do. The funkiness of Sometime Last Night meets New Addictions meets Hurts Good. It's all there and it has been from the very start. These guys are the truth when it comes to growing as artists and musicians. Check them out on all streaming platforms or whereever you buy digital music...you won't regret this.

[obviouslime]

Visit Original Link

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"Give your tears...to the tide."

[jdmaladroit]

Visit Original Link

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"Pull me out from inside I am ready...I am ready...I am ready I am fine."

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Colorblind

  I had this amazing experience today. I mean more amazing than going to see Halsey live with the girl that I thought I really liked. It was better than going to Disney for the first time. It was better than getting high for the first time and in the future, I hope it will be better than wanting to get drunk. I took a step today that I should have honestly taken a while ago, but I took it today on February 19, 2018. I made the decision to officially want to better myself…for myself. I’ve done a lot of things in my life for other people, but this step is all about me. 

Me and me alone.

  I went to AA for the first time today. I was more than nervous about what would happen at a meeting, so I watched a video on Youtube about what usually happens at an AA meeting. While the video did in fact give me a clue of what to expect at my first meeting; it didn’t tell me how much better one feels after taking that first step. There was no pressure to share, no judgment, and everyone there understood what it meant to be an alcoholic. It was the most comforting feeling in the world to hug a stranger who had similar issues.

It wasn’t weird.

It wasn’t staged.

It just was.

And it was where I wanted to be more than where I needed to be.

  This journey that I’m about to take is scary of course, but one thing I learned at AA is the fact that I am not alone in this journey. There were 10 other people that want me to stay sober as much as I want to. They didn’t treat alcoholism like it was no big deal. They treated it for what it is…a disease and while some people don’t believe it to be one. It is. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I want is a beer. It doesn’t have to be cold, my favorite brand, or even unopened. I just want a beer when I wake up. I want one for lunch and dinner as well, but I never just have one. One is the loneliest number in the world. Instead of one…I want the whole pack. When the whole pack isn’t enough…I want more. 

I drink until I can’t feel anything. 

I drink until I can’t remember. 

I drink until I’m no longer the person that my friends and family recognize. 

I drink until I think I like myself again.

  I don’t drink for fun…I drink for life. I drink to get up. I drink to keep going. I drink to go to sleep. I drink to get drunk and that’s my mindset when I wake up. I can survive for a period without it which made me think I wasn’t an alcoholic, but that’s not what that means. When I drink I have no control over it…it’s controlling me. To understand that fact is to understand that if alcohol is controlling your life then you’re suffering from alcoholism.  I can better understand that while I thought I may have had it under control…that was far from the truth. 

My name is Nataiya and I’m an alcoholic. 

My name is Nataiya and I’m a daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, lover, fighter, writer, and most importantly…I’m still here.

  This important step for me comes at a bittersweet moment as I lost my Uncle Mike earlier this evening, but he’s proud of me. So are both grannies he’s up there hanging out with. In a way I think Uncle Mike dying on this very day is a sign and I don’t always believe in signs. That text message pushed me to put my motives in action and for that Uncle Mike I thank you. I’ll miss you Uncle Mike, but like I told grandma…I promise to do something better with my life. I promise to be that person that you see. 

I promise this not to you, but to myself.

Counting Crows’ Colorblind in my opinion is about someone letting you be who are in your skin. Which is exactly how I felt today and it’s a glorious feeling.

I am covered in skin No one gets to come in Pull me out from inside I am folded and unfolded and unfolding

[lisaaaadavid]

Not the person :“>

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Teleological

ADJECTIVE: exhibiting or realating to design or purpose especially to nature

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Complicit

ADJECTIVE: helping to commit a crime or do wrong in some way

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Red Herring

NOUN: 1) a herring cured by salting and slow smoking to a dark brown color 2) something that attracts attention from the real issue

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No Time

  Things in our life break and it’s as simple as that. Sometimes our broken things can be mended and sometimes they cannot. That’s just apart of life, but what does that mean when the thing that is broken is your spirit? Quick lesson if you happened to forget what spirit means. I’m not talking about ghosts, angels, demons, or the Holy Spirit. I’m referring to the spirit that connects the body and soul (metaphysically at least). The spirit that refers to your consciousness or personality. The spirit that could quite possibly make you who you are. When that breaks…are you still you? While I still feel like me there’s no doubt in my mind that something inside me is broken. Out of all the things that one could allow to break their spirit…a job should not be one, but here I am talking to you about me and broken spirit. 

  I allowed something so minuscule to break something so utterly important to who I am as a person and when I got out of bed this morning I had no intention to feel this way. I’m allowed to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or mistreated, but to feel the breaking that I felt today is not allowed. The ultimate reason this happened is that I always care too much. Always…always…always. It’s just my personality which is hard to change when you’ve acted a certain way for so long, but it’s not impossible to change. My freshman year of college I wrote a paper entitled “People Don’t Change” and at that time I honestly believed that people don’t change. That paper was written eight years ago and at 25 I’m faced with having to change who I’m used to being. 

  I’ve been putting so much time, energy, and ultimately spirit into something that I don’t want. Something that leaves me feeling more frustrated with my own life than I’ve ever been. I shook a hand four years ago and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. You spend four years in high school. You spend four years in undergrad. What you don’t spend four years in is a place that is the total opposite of what you wanted. Complacency is the devil and whoever tells you it’s not is a dirty liar (though I don’t think any liar is a clean one). Complacency and I started dating back in 2012 and it’s about time we broke up don’t you think so? Complacency is by far the worst partner I’ve dated, but the problem with her is that she’s so fucking easy! She’s a lying whore and when you let her into your life she’s doesn’t wanna break up and she insists on not moving on. The only way to get rid of her is to start sleeping with her sister Discontent. 

  When you meet Discontent you start to see things in your life differently. You can only be unhappy for so long before you start to lose your spirit. I met Discontent this afternoon and while she may be a great guide for the future…when I met her I just didn’t like her (I also didn’t like most of my friends when I met them either). She and I are going to go on a few dates before things get better in my life. The saying goes ‘it gets worse before it gets better.’ So if you’ve made it this far to the 564th word and you’re wondering if your Tay Tay is going to okay…well I’m here to tell you that she will. She most absolutely will just fine. 

  While I feel like my spirit is broken it will not be that way forever. I used to think I would never get over Banana Rama Man, but hey I stopped counting the days since he had broke up with me eventually. I used to think that Green Eyes would rule my heart forever, but it’s gotten a lot easier to let go (though it’s still a work in progress I don’t feel the same way I felt six months ago). I used to think that I would never be anything other than the cook, but now I’m going to have to see myself as something else. Something greater. Something meaningful. Something that Complacency can’t get to. I’ll be just fine…scout’s honor (I was never a girl scout cause I wasn’t getting in that skirt...I just wanted the cookies).

  M83 says it better than anyone else and to me this song about holding on and reigning the mind set you once had to aspire to be great.

“Send your dreams Where nobody hides

Give your tears To the tide

There’s no end There is no goodbye

Disappear With the night”

P.S. Erika Z. is totally the fucking best ;)

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Soooo I'm starting my very own 30 day challenge and of course because I'm a music lover...I chose the 30 day music challenge. Let's just hope that I can keep up with all 30 days (stoner brain on fleek).

Day 1: A song you like with a color in the title

Now my first choice was to roll with my baby mama T. Swift and 'Red', but I decided to change it up because I'm always using Taylor's song in reference to pretty much everything in my life. My second initial choice was ‘Purple Pills’ by D12 because “nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pills.” Ultimately, I stuck with my fangirl obsession as a Directioner (Halsey would be proud). It’s a very catchy song and when I first heard it, I couldn’t get it out my head for like a week. Years later and it’s on my iPod and several playlists on my Apple Music account. Needless to say I just like hear Harry and Zayn sing, I like to gush over Liam and Niall’s faces, and Louie...well do I need to say more?

Others songs that could have made the day 1 spot:

Purple Rain by Prince

Black Keys by Jonas Brothers

Yellow by Coldplay

Black or White by Michael Jackson

Red Solo Cup by Toby Keith

Little Red Corvette by Prince

Yellow Submarine by The Beatles

“Little black dress

What’s your favorite song?

Little black dress

I won’t do you no harm”

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This is...The Prologue.

I've grown accustomed to the way I act, but that's normal when you've acted a certain way for so long. I was used to being that ass that had her guarded walls up because she had been hurt before. I would cut people off before I even got to know them and sometimes I would miss out on a good thing. Other times I would let the person in; only to push them back out when things got too real for me. That's where I'm at now...I met this amazing woman. I've known her for at least 2 and half years now, but I've only recently realized how many great qualities she has.

There are so many things I could say about her and all her greatness, but this isn't about my profound love for her. I'll save that for another letter (maybe Thanksgiving when I'm feeling super giving). She makes me feel emotions that I haven't in a long time and though I thought it would be extremely weird...it's so satisfying. I can't even explain as I'm still trying to dissect exactly what is happening, but like I said...this isn't a love letter. This a letter of tender acceptance...my way of easing into the real issue(s) at hand. It must be tender because only noobs choose hard over soft tacos.

This tender acceptance goes to you my love as I am starting to accept that I do in fact have a tendency of pushing people away. Honestly, I'm not sure why I even do it, but if I could take a guess I would say that I'm not used to people genuinely caring about me that are not related to me. Sure, I have the have the handful of good friends, but I consider you more than that. You care beyond a shadow of a doubt and that terrifies me a bit.

Okay it terrifies me a lot.

Out of all the people that surround me, you are the one that has opened me up and taken the time to get to know me platonically and intimately. You fight for me when I don't. You're pushing me towards the light while I'm steadily pulling away. I'm afraid I did it this time though. I'm terrified that I've pushed too far this time and that you won't come back. I don't mean to pull as you push, but that's what I've always known. I turned into this person who would rather isolate herself than let people in. It's my defense mechanism so I don't get hurt like I did those times before. I must protect my feelings and I do so in a savage way.

I ended up hurting myself anyway as this feeling in my chest aches and it has been since 9:36 Friday night. I know you're the reason it aches because I've realized that all the best moments in my day have you in them. Without that I feel empty and that's cliché, but what other phrase am I to use? This isn't a love letter...this is an apology for not being who you know I can be.

This is a wake-up call to me saying 'I can't treat the people I love like jewelry.'

This is a please don't leave me cause I ain’t too proud to beg.

This is an I need you and an I love you.

This is you're my muse.

This is an I haven't written in 6 months and you're the first topic I pick.

This is you're the reason my world keeps spinning some days.

This is the I'll never find another person as special as you are that cares for me like you do.

You know I've never done well with face-to-face conversations, so I wrote this while sweating profusely, answering phones, making orders, and having to listen to Karlton's annoying voice as he took orders. I'm so utterly sorry that I hurt you and I promise to try to never to do it again. Though if you don't feel any of these things...then I'll still be okay with you being just my friend.

In the words of the infamous sex symbol Mr. Nelson:

"I never meant to cause you any sorrow

I never meant to cause you any pain

I only wanted one time to see you laughing"

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Words cannot describe how I now see Harry Styles. He's no longer just a face of a boy band. He's grown so much and he's come so far since One Direction. His stage presence is immaculate and it's as of he was born to be on the stage. This is favorite track as he sounds like an 80s rockstar and his new haircut it definitely helping him out. Also check out Carolina, Only Angel, and Two Ghosts. The whole album is a win, but those are a few of my favorites.

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Happy Mother's Day

The act of biting your tongue is quite tough. The level of difficulty changes depending on who you’re talking to. One has to be careful when speaking to someone of importance or the relationship could be tarnished forever. It’s just so hard to bite your tongue when someone you love makes a statement that just grills under your skin. It’s so easy for millions of negative, snappy comebacks to cross your mind. You have to stop that train of thought before it crashes and sometimes the train goes all the way off the tracks. I despise being compared to other people no matter who they are or what they do…I was born a single, so do not fucking compare me to anyone else. I move on my own time. I think with my own mind, and sadly I have to bite my tongue so hard the blood spills because only assholes attempt to clapback on their mothers on Mother’s Day.

Happy Mother’s Day