gonna make it right.

Jesse Milo Sparks - 20 years old, wizard, metamorphmagus.

[sparkingjesse-blog]

parkinsvns:

Pansy hummed, “I hope so. I don’t think even think I know how to apologize. I’ve never apologized for anything in my life,” she said. Pansy pulled away from his embrace, “Normally all of this positivity would give me a heart attack. How do you see the bright side in everything all the time?”

“It’s alright if you don’t know how, some people might tell you that it’s a good thing. That you’re confident in your belief that you’re doing the right thing or another sappy statement. As for finding the bright side, probably how I was raised. The Sparks family is full of obnoxiously positive people, but there are also some who know when to be realistic,” Jesse answered kindly.

[sparkingjesse-blog]

cassian-wxxd:

Cassian didn’t say much, but there wasn’t really much he could even fathom into words, all he knew was that this was Jesse, his best mate, his boyfriend. He’d stressed for way too long over his sexuality and it was finally nice to have someone make him feel like this wasn’t some taboo thing.  “You’ve had my back already through everything so far. I don’t you for a minute when you say that,” he says offering him a small smile. “A mistake?” he huffs, scooting ever closer to the other, now straddling the boy’s lap as he lifted the boy’s chin. “I hardly think it was a mistake. You are by far the most ambitious person I’ve ever met. Don’t doubt yourself. You fit in like a glove, whether you know it or not.” Finally, he leans in and presses his lips against the other, hushing him before he can get in another word.

There was something about this moment, unlike the ones Jesse had documented with a camera, that just couldn’t be placed into words. Julian had told him what he thought falling in love was like, similar to a subtle buildup of tension in the air, but instead of a fight, it spilled over in the form of whispered words of admiration among many other gentle actions. His hair slowly morphed into the red of a typical Valentine when Cassian kissed him. However, he did have to admit that the urge to scoff was real. The kiss though as well as the simple fact that he was here with Cass, that was enough to make Jesse shut up. He could protest to his heart’s content later, but for now, he just wanted to make the most of this time with his partner in crime.

[sparkingjesse-blog]

tobiasxxrowle:

He was going to say something more when the boy agreed with him but he didn’t have a chance to do so. Jesse had begun to speak non-stop and after the first few moments where he put in a little effort to listen, Toby’s brows rose up in amusement when he realized that he didn’t look like he was going to stop any time soon. When he was sure the other was done with his mini-speech, he grinned widely at him. “You talk. A lot.” Toby noted, letting out a hearty laugh. “You are so adorable, Jesse. Although I don’t seem to recall this much talking when we were back at school.”

Merlin above and beyond, one of these days Jesse would stop blushing whenever someone called him adorable. Still, his cheeks turned pink while his hair morphed into that salmon color it did when he got embarrassed, so it seemed as thought today was not that day. “Bloody hell, Toby, sorry about that tangent. But I suppose I kept my mouth shut more often at Hogwarts than I do nowadays,” he answered while attempting to recall the exact reason for remaining tight-lipped. “Anyway, how’ve you been?”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

parkinsvns:

“You better, I don’t just offer my services out of the kindness of my heart for everybody,” she said with a teasing smile, nudging him gently with her shoulder. Pansy looked at him for a moment before melting into his arms, hugging him back. She was used to not dealing with her emotions, finding comfort from somebody else was different, but it wasn’t a bad thing. “Sparks, it’s hard to picture you arguing with anyone firstly, and secondly, I don’t think you basically called your friend a whore and picked at his insecurities the way I did.”

“I will also remember that,” Jesse vowed with a chuckle even though the truth was being told. He relaxed just a hint during the hug, the slightest sign of a guard drop. “Believe or not, it happened. But the friendship was all the more stronger for it. Trust me when I say that things with Draco may seem torn asunder right now, however things will look up for you two. Yes, harsh words were probably exchanged, regrets may have been forged, yet that’s life. Unfortunate at times, though as my mum says, the sun always returns.”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

cassian-wxxd:

Cass nodded quietly, starting to feel slightly less guilty as he took in the albums of photos sitting on the other’s bed just beside him. “I always forgot how much you took photos when we were in school, “ he says looking fondly a photo of them down at the Black Lake, there legs swinging over the edge of the dock as the early spring sun shined down on them. He tried to hide the small smile that slipped onto his features when he nonchalantly asked him to be his boyfriend. “I-Of course I’ll have you, do you even really have to ask? After all this time, it’s always been you, Jesse.”

“Yeah, there’s something about capturing the magic of a moment, whether it be literal or figurative,” Jesse responded before a bright grin broke out when Cassian’s confirmation got his attention. “I can promise one thing right here and now, which is that I’ll always have your back. You’re an incredible guy, Cassian, which makes me the luckiest wizard on the planet. Don’t know what I would’ve done without you by my side. The Sorting Hat may have made a mistake by placing me in Slytherin, but you always managed to put a smile on my face and erase those thoughts.”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

cassian-wxxd:

“I still shouldn’t have come here so late at night, I hope I didn’t wake you up,” he mutters, still not able to meet the other’s gaze. Looking up at Jesse he nodded quietly. He was just recently caught in a lie with Draco, when he’d tried and failed to convince the other that he wasn’t with Jesse. “I know,” he says finally daring to look up at the other. “Draco and I finally talked in the kitchen. It uh… didn’t go well at first. And it just sort of just made me think about what we even are.” he looks at him in the eye. “I want to figure out what we are. What I am- to you. I don’t want to get attached to someone else and have them dip out on me.”

“It’s alright, I was just looking back on better times,” Jesse responded, gesturing to the nearby photo albums that rested near them on the bed. The guilt made his shoulders sag just a hint, yet it felt even heavier in his heart. Nonetheless, he listened to what Cassian had to say and had to resist the urge to allow his thoughts to unravel. Instead, he took a deep breath then answered, “Simply put, you’re my right hand man. One of few people outside of my family that I trust with my heart. If my day is looking a bit too cloudy, you bring this light which just can’t be described. If you’ll have me as your boyfriend or whatever you want me to be, I’ll never leave your side.”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

parkinsvns:

“Darling, being different means being unique. I always try to stand out, I want to memorable,” she said. She hummed, “We’ve got to work through these. I was so wretched in Hogwarts because my insecurities almost ate me alive.” She scoffed at his words, “It’s not an accusation if it’s true, I was on the other side of the betrayal,” she huffed. “And I didn’t mean to trigger that person so bad. Of course when it happened…I don’t know. I just kept pushing on their vulnerable spot once I found it.” She sighed, “Of course I didn’t think of how Draco would react, which was horribly.” She was quiet for a moment, looking down at the cupcake in her hands, becoming more emotional as she thought about their fight. “I don’t know if we’re ever going to be friends again.”

He nodded as he listened, hair turning a hopeful hunter green that maybe Pansy’s words would fill him with more confidence for the future. “Thank you very much, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. As for what happened with Draco and his person, I wish there were enough words in the dictionary to describe how terrible I feel for all of you,” he responded. A few moments later, he carefully offered a hug while his hair morphed into a stormy sea blue. “Now, as for you and Draco being friends again, I believe in that coming true. Friends will get into arguments, it’s a natural part of life. I once argued with a friend for a solid week and to the point where we forgot what we were arguing about.”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

cassian-wxxd:

He was listening to him, he swears and trying to take deep breathes takes all of his focus, and he squeezes his eye shut, trying to focus desperately to slow the wheezes that are still coming from his lips in bursts. Finally somewhat calm after several long minutes of breathing he looks up at Jesse his eyes pleading with the other. “I’m sorry.” he barely whispers he can’t but to feel guilty about it, coming to him so late in the night. “For everything, for walking away b-before we could say what we were and I just… I’ve had a lot going on… I shouldn’t have come here this late either.” He lowers his eyes trying to avoid making eye contact as he was extremely embarrassed by his behavior.

“Cassian Wood, trust me when I say that you have nothing to be sorry for. You did what was right for you,” Jesse reassured, green eyes alight with kindness. After a few silent moments of debate, he added, “However, I’m the one who has something to apologize for. The night we moved here, I was walking around because I couldn’t sleep and ended up running into Draco. I told him that we kissed and words can’t express how sorry I am for that as well as telling you now instead of saving it till later.”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

parkinsvns:

Pansy let out a breath, “Honestly, after that body swap fiasco, I don’t want to see anyone else wearing my face for a while,” she mused. She frowned, “Sparks. Why don’t you embrace everything that comes with it? I don’t get the feeling you hate being a metamorphagus, but I sense that you don’t entirely like it, if that is an example,” she said, nodding to the hood he put over his hair when she commented on his hair earlier. Pansy rolled her eyes at the memory, “Because he’s an evil backstabber who will turn on his closest friends. And yes, I admit, I did insult his…person who he cares for very much, and perhaps I triggered them into a panic attack, but how was I supposed to know that person would then take it out on Draco? That’s not my fault. I didn’t make that happen.”

Jesse winced slightly at the mention of the body swap and all of the trouble that had come with it, but then shrugged slightly as part of his answer. “There’s a whole variety of reasons if I’m being honest. It makes me stick out like a sore thumb in pretty much every crowd. Plus, I’ll never truly be able to blend in. There’s honestly a boatload of insecurities along with the belief that literally anybody in this house would be much better suited to have it,” he stated. Disbelief was quick to appear on his face and for a moment, the 20 year old had to wonder if they were even talking about the same person. “That’s a pretty strong accusation. Pansy, please forgive me if I’m being intrusive, but why did you do that? Plus, I don’t think any of us could have seen that coming, unless there’s a secret Seer in the house.”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

parkinsvns:

Pansy hummed, “But isn’t it more than your hair? Can’t you change your features too?” she asked, curious. “It does suck that your hair changes with your emotions. I wonder what would happen if you dyed your hair or something,” she mused. The former Slytherin sighed, “Exactly, Sparks. I thought everything was getting better, I was finally becoming relaxed at the other house, but now everything is in shambles again,” she said, slowly becoming worked up. “I mean, Draco and I had a fight, a big one because he’s a traitor.”

“Yeah, I can change my features too, but that takes a bit more thought and concentration. Like I could probably change into you in about, two minutes tops. It would probably take a shorter amount of time for a metamorphmagus who actually embraces everything that comes with the ability,” Jesse responded before taking a moment to search through his memories, if any involving his hair getting dyed came up. “I think my brother and I dyed our hair purple one summer, but mine faded out faster than his. As for what’s happened, sorry to hear that things came tumbling down like a house of cards,” he added then a hint of confusion spread across his features. “If you don’t mind me asking, why is Draco a traitor in your eyes?”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

cassian-wxxd:

They sat in silence for a while, and Cassian still hanging onto Jesse. Every time he blinks he knows he’s in danger of falling asleep but he can’t sleep. Not when every time he shuts his eyes, he’s scared he’ll be back at Hogwarts, watching his friends die, hearing the killing curse thrown at him repeatedly. Holding people’s hands while they passed. Never again. He was so sure he was on the edge of losing his mind, having not felt these sort of emotions since the Battle of Hogwarts ended.He gripped onto the boy’s shirt, trying to steady his breathing knowing he was only seconds away from a panic attack. “Please-” he wheezed his body beginning to shake some, overcome by a panic attack.

As Cassian held onto his shirt, anger raged in Jesse’s heart, not unlike a fire. His hair color morphed into a fiery reddish orange as thoughts of Death Eaters returned to the forefront of his mind. Memories of the Battle haunted him once more, of trying his best to be a makeshift combat medic despite the skirmishes that surrounded him and whoever he was trying to heal. Then the youngest Sparks had leaped into the fray himself not too long after losing the third or fourth friend, taking down a Death Eater he later remembered was the cousin of a housemate. Bloody hell, his own downward spiral was on the horizon, if not staring him right in the face. Still, Cassian needed his attention more right now, so Jesse just pressed a small kiss to his forehead before he calmly stated, “Cass, I need you to listen, alright? I’m right here and not going anywhere. Just pay attention to my voice, focus on that.” He allowed a few moments of quiet to pass then added, “Then breathe in for four seconds, okay, love?”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

fckmlfy:

Draco snorts. “I suspect a mere bat bogey hex to be the least of our concerns,”  He sighs in return, “Rather, the two might instead attempt actual murder if locked in the same room at the same time.” Tensions are running high, that much is a given – and while Jesse is obviously attempting to help, Draco doesn’t presume either felt much like making amends so cordially. Not so soon, anyhow. Grey eyes meet the other’s then. “Thank you, however, for the advice,” Draco tells the other, his tone earnest. “—- If we do decided to partake in such sap, I will keep you informed.”

Admittedly, Jesse slightly winced upon hearing Draco’s prediction for what might go wrong. “Well, I’ll certainly hold onto the hope that or anything else along those drastic lines won’t happen,” he replied. As the thanks hit his ears, the metamorphmagus smiled that usual easygoing smile then added, “Anytime, you know I’m always happy to help out. Thank you very much, fingers will be crossed for the sappiness winning out.”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

fckmlfy:

Considering Jesse’s words, Draco finds himself somewhat stumped – a frustration growing inside himself as he resists the urge to audibly growl. Pansy had hurt him, undoubtedly — though he himself has said some truly scathing things in return. So where did that leave the two? “She’s been with me through everything,” Draco mutters lowly then; a dismayed hand carding through his otherwise pristine hair as he allows himself a heavy huff. “And while we are both undoubtedly at fault …” He shakes his head, his words wavering. “Despite everything, I can’t help but feel angry. The rift she caused  —” He trails off once more. “I have no doubt that she intended me no harm. – I understand her emotions perhaps better than I understand my own; I feel her anxiety and terror. I understand why she lashed out the way she did. Though I couldn’t possibly apologize first after what she did .. – could I? After what she said to him?” Draco knows he’s being vague, however, his mind has apparently run away from him.

If he wasn’t so tired, Jesse wouldn’t mind attempting to figure out who in the world Draco was referring to. Throughout the years, he spent as many moments as he could far away from the Slytherin common room, so he had no clue as to which housemate the other had exchanged harsh words with. “Okay, so there’s another person who’s involved,” he stated the obvious, mental gears starting to churn at twice the normal rate again while memories of assisting his own friends with their teenage drama resurfaced. “Alright, if those two had an argument before you and her did, the place to start would be with the first one then work from there. If at all possible, try to figure out a way to get the three of you in the same neutral location at the same time. Once you do that, talk about what was going through your minds, how you felt and all of that sappy sort of thing. If you’re comfortable with it, ask somebody to play mediator, to be there in case emotions begin to run too high and suddenly you’re attempting to bat-bogey hex each other,” Jesse finally answered.

[sparkingjesse-blog]

tobiasxxrowle:

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you lot are a bunch of ungrateful little pricks. All of you have this look on your faces which say you’re mourning your dead cat or something.” Toby huffed as he plopped down on the couch in the living room. It had been only a couple of days since he was sent to live in the safehouse with the others and the gloom which filled the air, seeping through the walls and following him wherever he went was starting to get on his nerves. "I’d have thought people would be a tad bit happier about being kept safe here. What with not having to worry about having a killing curse shot at you any second and all.”

Jesse glanced up a hint from his book, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, in order to listen. He closed the book while his mind began to work on churning out reasons for why people were acting the way they were. “That is true, we’re certainly safer here than we were a few years ago, growing up in a war zone and all. However, I also suppose that just like with anything else in life, there’s a wide range of reasons as to why morale seems to be constantly fixed at an all time low. From the individual to the group as a whole, there’s too many to cover, plus I’d rather not have any of us fall asleep so early in the day. Personally though, count me in on grateful,” he responded.

[sparkingjesse-blog]

parkinsvns:

Pansy hummed, “It’s charming that you stay in touch with them,” she said. She glanced at the house before sitting down next to Jesse, not wanting to go inside yet. Although she only raged on two of the occupants, she felt as though everyone knew. Pansy knew her paranoia was getting the best of her, but every time someone glanced at her she thought they knew about the fights she had with both Potter and Draco. “Your hair turns gold when you’re happy?” She laughed, “I’m not quite sure what to even say about that. And I decided to wander around in the little muggle town, anything to get me out of this damn house.”

“Thanks and yeah, the whole Metamorphmagus deal makes sure of that, especially at the most inconvenient of times. But this definitely not about my troubles regarding that,” Jesse cut himself off before he could delve any further into the pit of insecurities. He listened to what Pansy had to say then nodded a hint in understanding. “Yeah, I can see why you might want to do that. This place is huge, but it definitely doesn’t stop you from running into people. Which, if you’ve got a whole lot of thoughts swarming in your head, isn’t the best thing because next thing you know, it’ll probably turn into an impromptu therapy session.”

[sparkingjesse-blog]

cassian-wxxd:

Cass doesn’t speak for awhile, because he’s afraid that if he opens his mouth it wouldn’t be words that would spill from his lips but sobs. He was tired of the images that raced through his mind when he shut his eyes, how tortured he felt during his sleep, waking up after an entire night of nothing but nightmares where he was pretty positive he’d never fallen asleep in the first place. He was sure that if he didn’t get an actually restful night of sleep soon he’d lose his mind. And this was just the beginning of his little downhill spiral. “No- no no no I don’t.. I can’t… not right now. Not right now.” he repeats himself, he needs Jesse to hold him, for however long it’ll take to shake away any of the negative thoughts in his head if only for a few minutes.

Jesse pressed a soft kiss to Cassian’s hair then aimed to wrap an arm around the other male. “It’ll be alright. I know that it doesn’t seem like it now, but with time, things won’t seem as daunting at least. I promise you that I’ll be by your side every step of the way or if there’s something you need to tackle alone, then you better believe I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines,” he stated. It was the truth, one that he wouldn’t hesitate to repeat a thousand times. Especially when it came to Cassian, now that the stakes were higher than they’d been during their friendship. It was probably too early to call it or even say anything that implied it, but Jesse definitely felt the love that had been there before increase tenfold.”

[writerlydays]

other writers: plan out their stories, have their characters figured out and know how they’re going to grow. write every day, keep hydrated.

me, a goblin: jump in headfirst with only a vague plan and a feeling. who are these characters?????? fuck if i know, we find out as we go! plot what plot? i’m just as surprised at this development as you are. writes only on full moons. only ingests caffeine.