real life is real

I just post poems I write in my free time. Enjoy !

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

Midas turned objects into gold

I turn a simple situation into a mess

Midas wasn't afraid, he was bold

I am lost and in distress

Like Midas I wanted more than I could afford

And this power is self destructive

Chaos is our real reward

A mess like this, no one else can achieve

I was happy to receive all this love

Every person I'm touching is ruined

Midas and I should wear gloves

Like Midas-matter of time-I will destroy myself

I am my own big bang, my own void

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

What if I can’t go back ?

I’m for now back on track

But the quarantine is stressing me out

Somebody hear me out !

There is a gloomy weather in my brain

There is a rain of negative thoughts, again

At some point it will be sunny and I’ll be happy

But I still need to be with my family

I am afraid here alone I might do something crazy

I really need someone to find a remedy 

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

Listening to my tears ricochet

Made me realize why I loved this song so much

Because it reminded me of you, that’s not okay

It’s a pain I can either express nor touch

I’m this Fabergé egg that you wanted for yourself

You broke me but somehow revealed something precious

I’m now trying to gather the broken pieces of myself

I know you didn’t do it on purpose, you are not even conscious

I’m a puzzle and the pieces don’t fit together anymore

You came into my life and your tears damaged me, more than I want to admit

I have to recreate myself based on my memories and you are somehow my anchor

I can’t find what the puzzle is supposed to represent, but you’re in it

I want to move on, but you always come back when I expect it the least

You are the wave destroying my sand castle over and over again

I’m the rose you kept under a glass and you’re the beast

I love you as much as  I hate you for making me insane

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

He was supposed to turn into a butterfly

But he couldn’t complete his transition

His chrysalid got so damaged he couldn’t even cry

He tried to fix it by himself but there was no solution

Now he lives in a world full of butterflies

Afraid and ashamed of judgment

He’s avoiding everybody’s eyes

He’s keeping his head low and gives us the silence treatment

He invented himself friends that would understand him

Never looking too long at beautiful flower

If only the world would accept different rhythm

He feels like everybody but him has a real power

He has to deal with the fact that he can’t fly

He will learn how to, but very slowly

He was joyful and definitely not shy

Now I don’t know how to look at him without pity

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

The never ending nightmare

It’s past midnight

Still not sleeping

When is it going to be alright ?

I’m breathing and breathing

The air fills my body

Pain in my chest

Definitely not leaving me

I just want to rest

I keep thinking

I feel lonely

I start panicking

No one is holding me

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

I’m like Peter Pan’s shadow

I’m slipping away from my body

And to me the world is a show

Where I’m looking for my identity

I’m like Peter Pan’s shadow

Always crazier than the physical me

I sometimes like to be slow

So the real gets to catch me

I’m like Peter Pan’s shadow

We can’t stick together

The real me is the widow

Of her own personality disorder

I’m like Peter Pan’s shadow

I wish I could be happier

But I embody the real me sorrow

How we were one unique person is a real wonder

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

WWTEYOYD

What would the eight years old you do ?

It got me thinking about the dream of the younger me

I wanted to be a poet or a writer, and maybe you did too 

But then you have to be realistic about what you can be

I seek for this eight years old me to tell her I’m sorry

I didn’t find the strength and abandoned her

In the magical world of dwarfs she used to play with Julie

She’s hiding probably in the small house by the river

At my parent's house I find the old maps I drew

I really had a powerful imagination

It’s filled with different shades of colors, but mostly with blue

Back then, I didn’t seek for approbation

Walking through the garden, I remember 

The plants were gigantic and made me feel so small 

I remember there was an evil queen, she took the kingdom in December

Finally, I find the eight year old me, she looks like a cute doll

I decide to grab one of her tiny hand

She doesn’t look afraid but extremely sad

I explain to her that I want to be her friend

And accomplish this beautiful dream she had

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

I tried something new

To finally feel calm and peaceful

There is not a thing I can’t do

I really am blissful and wonderful

A part of me is awaiting

For the tiny drop that will overcome

The new flood barrier I’ve been building

A wave of sadness will make a tantrum

This barrier was a huge self-work

It contained all my negativity

But the wave damaged my intern clockwork

Time stops, no control, just anarchy

I let this wave overflood, powerless

I wait for this rush of sadness to calm down

I finally realise there was a weakness

All my good intentions sadly, are drown

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

Dans mon cerveau se déroule une guerre

La tristesse a construit des remparts

Et le bonheur se tient derrière

Les deux se battent pour le territoire

Mais la tristesse se tenait là la première

Le bonheur voudrait la victoire

Et montrer qu'il est digne de régner

Une faille dans les murs, un espoir

Permet au bonheur de s'infiltrer

Mon corps est assailli de contradictions

Inhabitué par cette nouvelle entité

Mon coeur reçoit une nouvelle émotion

La tristesse essaie d'étouffer

Ce sentiment de joie qui grandit

Le bonheur se fait guillotiner

Et la tristesse en sort épanouie

Un hymne national s'élève

Mon corps est endolori

Mais au moins le combat s'achève

Je demeure à jamais meurtrie

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

I would love to be a computer

Sometimes everything is wrong with me

I wish I could reboot my router

I tried everything but I'm still not happy

I wish I could erase my internal disk

And put more joy in my life

I am definitely willing to take the risk

If it keeps me away from the knife

I wish I could fix the bug in my report

And make a more rational choice

Even with all the moral support

I can still hear this scary voice

I am obsolete nobody needs me

My chore is too slow

I can't support the pain USB key

Even with rest, my battery is low

How many times the assistance service has been called ?

Like a computer I can't be recycled

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

I try to keep my head above water

I used to know how to swim

Now,

there is something calling me from under

I try to keep up with the rythm

But,

Everyday the pressure goes further

I want to reach the other side of the pool

But the flow is treating me like a fool

I can't move forward

I can't go backwards

I'm stuck like a coward

I'm losing my breath

Despite the rest

The negative thoughts are my reward

Can't fight against myself for long

I prefer to be drawn

In darkness where I belong

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

Love is like dancing

At the beginning you keep falling and falling

But sometimes you can find someone to lead

You’re still clumsy but this someone is skilled

And you’re spinning and spinning

You’re seeing this person’s eyes sparkling

You’re keeping the pace, moving

Like one and unique body lightning,

The dance floor all night without thinking

Then you get the rythm and you’re not an idiot

You’re moving more and more like a robot

The end of the song is like an heartbreak

You don’t want it to stop but you can’t avoid it

All of your senses are awake

You’re sweaty and shaky, can’t feel your feet

The song stops and this someone is leaving

And you are here waiting and grieving

Whereas this someone has already moved on, 

To the next dance and you end up all alone

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

I'm tired of pretending

To find my studies interesting

I lack of energy

My head is dizzy

And I can't feel real happiness

It's a twisted distress

Exams are coming

But I don't feel like revising

If I fail it won't matter

The real fail is that I'm not going better

[sparklyvoidkryptonite]

Everyday I feel invisible

Everyday I feel like I'm disappearing

I stopped eating

So that perhaps I can be sensible

I'm not really present in the moment

Most of the time lost in the tourment

To be or not to be

There is no point of asking me

There is an hole in my chest

That keeps me from being the best

Darkness is surrounding me

Darkness is consuming me

Darkness is becoming me