hope you’re resting easy.
sorry i’m a weirdo.
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@speechlesstalking
hope you’re resting easy.
sorry i’m a weirdo.
hollanov as photos they took of each other 7
one day i’m gonna wake up and learn these two are just robots like in westworld and i won’t be surprised at all
randomly popping in here to say that my mind has not known peace since 12/26/25 when the final episode of heated rivalry season 1 aired. the show and the books and characters and actors have taken over my life and there are no signs of it letting up any time soon. this genuinely needs to be studied. I am unwell 😭
i think quite often about the implications of shane growing up in nowhere ottawa, a cottage at the edge of the woods, and ilya hailing from the cold, salt-stained streets of moscow. the way those two childhoods never stopped existing inside them. the way they surface in quiet, domestic moments.
shane kills the bugs in their house without thinking. he doesn’t even hesitate. just a folded paper towel, quick and clean. ilya, who flinches at the sound of loons on the lake, watches from a safe distance, faintly horrified. he has never been an exterminator. he has never needed to be.
ilya offers to hire someone to change a lightbulb. to replace a lock. to fix something small and ordinary. shane just blinks at him, slow and confused, because it costs ten dollars at home depot and then you do it yourself, ilya... that’s the whole point. that’s how it’s always been done.
but ilya knows how to endear himself to the local bakery. he leans on the counter, soft voice, easy smile, and every time they leave there is something extra tucked into the brown paper bag. being a millionaire means nothing here. every grandmother pinches his cheek anyway. every owner insists he take more.
he doesn’t need google maps when they drive through the city. he knows instinctively how streets bend, how neighborhoods breathe. he has every app for taxis, deliveries, reservations, tailoring. he knows how to argue, too -- sharp and precise -- when someone tries to take advantage of shane. no, you are not ripping off my husband. no, you will not get away with it (shane's no idiot, but yuna famously handles all his business, simply taking his interests in mind).
(by the same vein) shane, who barely knows how to negotiate a contract because someone else always did it for him (yuna, an agent, etc), knows the sky instead. he knows the constellations. he learned them standing beside his father, neck bent back, the dark stretching endless above them. (he was a boy scout for exactly 1 year before quitting bc it cut into hockey time). sometimes they lie on the patio furniture now, deep in thought, and shane points them out one by one, voice soft with certainty, and ilya listens like he’s being told a story (it reminds him, at first with a shock, of his mother, of bedtime folk stories told once by the first russian mother to the first russian child. of cannabilism and children being stolen by devils in the middle of the night, but it was still funny & sweet anyway, bc irina swore to always protect him before tucking his little toes in)
ilya fills their kitchen with beautiful, lavish, complicated things. heavy clay pots. expensive japanese knives. a coffee machine that hisses and gleams like something alive. the tv room with state of the art speakers & a remote system that takes shane 3 days to figure out how to use. shane brings the deck pillows inside before the first snowfall. he checks the seals on the windows. he knows which mornings the frost will come early.
they are both, in quiet ways, teaching each other how to live.
(and, more quietly still, carrying small, invisible pieces across that shared space between them. ilya learns to rotate his own tires. shane cooks his first stir fry. and what a beautiful thing that is -- for someone to look inside you and, somewhere in the shape of who you’ve become, recognize the person you love most).
it is strange, sometimes, to see the ghosts of who they were before this. the boy in the woods & the boy in the city. all those instincts, all those small private competencies, surviving into this shared space
and maybe that’s what love is. not becoming the same thing, but making room for the person shaped by somewhere completely different. letting their world fold into yours until neither of you is ever alone inside it again.
hey so this is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever read?
i scream, you scream, we all scream...
like. are you fucking kidding me. greek god lookin ass
I have been crashing the fuck out every day since december about heated rivalry just in case you were wondering :) and I mean every. single. day
I love those boys so much it is actually delusional but I don’t care. love was already fucked for me and now men will have to live up to the standards of two fictional characters and two celebrities so I’m gonna die alone probably
haven’t written anything in a while. i’ve barely been taking pictures. i don’t even feel motivated to color. and it’s not because I don’t want to. i really want to. but i am so tired. Im so consumed by other stupid, shitty things. i don’t have the space for it. and not making art makes that space grow smaller and smaller. not having any fun does that too. they say the artist needs play. how are we supposed to play during…all of this? why am i not inspired by all that’s going on? with me, with this country, with the world? shouldn’t i be?
i hate these periods. eventually, hopefully, it ends. maybe writing this is the start.
work in progress
f u c k work. fuck that i have to go to work. fuck that breaks are never long enough. fuck that it’s almost not worth taking a break because it feels so bad to go bad and you’re behind on work. fuck all of it.
genuinely i do think it's crazy how this show hit every single mark for no reason other than pure love of the game. like this wasn't a money grab and it didn't think it would be a big success, jacob just read a book he enjoyed and thought huh i think that would be a cool thing to make into a tv show. and then he brought on hudson and connor and they're fresh and passionate and not bogged down by the industry yet and they instantly became best friends and wanted to just have fun bringing these characters to life. and they didn't have a huge budget but they did the most with what they had and everybody took the show seriously and everybody took the book seriously. the cinematographer worked his magic. the music supervisor managed to snag a well-known queer hit and an up and coming new release and old school gems that have been around since the 2000s. it's canadian to the core, built from the ground up. it takes russians and the russian language seriously. it uses sex in such a specific, meaningful way that almost no other show has done thus far, and especially not in a queer context like this. they interlaced every episode with callbacks and parallelism and self-references. they didn't take themselves too seriously. they took everything so seriously. there is love and care baked into the core of this show and it's deeply queer and it doesn't shy away from the horrors of toxic masculinity and hockey culture but it is also, always, a story of joy and love and happiness. and on top of everything, it's almost word for word, the original source material from the book.
like damn it's no wonder this thing has made us all insufferable and become a huge fucking success! so few productions in hollywood are doing it like this!!!
this.
heated rivalry hurts so bad because I love them so much, I love their story and their personalities and how vulnerable they become with each other it all makes me so happy because they end up happy
until I realize it’s not real and I’ll probably never have something like that
my top Ilya vocal stims at the moment:
in no particular order and some have no significant meaning they’re just stuck in my head
(all must be read in a russian accent for full effect)
1. that was yesterday. that was before.
2. that is why it is secret.
3. i’m coming to the cottage (obvs)
4. what color?
5. i want to fucking fuck san francisco!!!!
6. not good. probably bad.
honorable mention to Shane:
willyouuuuu…cometomycottage
don’tgotorussia. cometomyhouse
forgot to add: “Russians do not do this.”
# ILYA ROZANOV IS A COMEDIAN
CONNOR STORRIE as ILYA ROZANOV HEATED RIVALRY (2025—)
my top episode 6 vocal stims:
1. vhat the fuck was that?! / stupid canadian wolf bird
2. holy shit…
3. …lovers
4. she was so funny and beautiful
hey so i’m really not emotionally equipped to experience the whiplash of my timeline right now.
one post is an in depth explanation of a heated rivalry scene with all its romance and heartbreak and the next is a video of a settler running over a pali man while he’s praying on christmas day
actually fuck this.
merry christmas i guess
my top Ilya vocal stims at the moment:
in no particular order and some have no significant meaning they’re just stuck in my head
(all must be read in a russian accent for full effect)
1. that was yesterday. that was before.
2. that is why it is secret.
3. i’m coming to the cottage (obvs)
4. what color?
5. i want to fucking fuck san francisco!!!!
6. not good. probably bad.
honorable mention to Shane:
willyouuuuu…cometomycottage
don’tgotorussia. cometomyhouse