The team thinking Spencer is going through drug withdrawals because hes acting strange but hes just missing his girl while shes away visiting family, I could imagine how relieved he would be to see her come home lol
would love to see your take on this! ☺️
summary : spencer is showing symptoms of withdrawals, which makes everyone panic... except instead of drugs, it’s you he’s addicted to
word count : 1.5k
pairings : spencer reid x gf!reader
notes : mentions of addiction, kidnapping and death... basically all the fun stuff our boy went through #joke. also, he's a mess without her and wears the same tie three days in a row... inspired by the song addicted to love by robert palmer (except i'm talking about the florence + the machine cover ofc)
they all noticed pretty quickly.
life at the bau was built on a stable routine - an uncommon one for sure, made of sleepless nights, daily debriefs on serial killer's newly found way of getting off, and discussing statistics about torture over stale coffee from the vending machine.
yet it always ended up being just another day of work for the bau team, whose members bonded over shared trauma and past experiences over the years, to become the cohesive and full-fledged family they now were.
so when spencer started acting off, it alerted all of them.
in his years working for the bureau, the boyish genius went through his fair share of scarring events. getting drugged, kidnapped, persecuted and close to dying weren't exactly things to include on your resume. by now, death was an old friend spencer greeted casually at every encouter. and even though it all faded in this repetitive routine of casualities, no one truly forgot.
"-i'm just worried about him," emily admits, pacing around the oval shaped conference room. the sound of her charcoal heels against the tiled floor does nothing but enhance the tension in the atmosphere, as they all discuss the situation around the table.
penelope is looking at the bullpen through the transparent glass, an unfitting frown deeply rooted on her face. it's unlike spencer to take breaks throughout the day, yet he left the room three time since clocking in this morning, and it's barely noon.
worried, they all were. terribly. for the past couple of days, a veil of numbness had seeemed to shroud him, taking away the spark he radiated since he met you and life had gotten its bright and vibrant colors back.
"me too," sighs jj. with her forehead resting agaisnt the heel of her hand in desperation, she pursues.
"reid's had the best year of his life, i don't understand why he would completely shut everyone off like that all of a sudden."
the usually so bubbly technical analyst turns around to face them. "he didn't even correct me when i called my pain au chocolat a chocolate croissant yesterday ! that's not my boy genius !"
whatever was wrong with him seemed to affect all of him. the absence of little habits and quirks, just like rambling linguistic facts during breakfast, couldn't go unseen around a team of qualified profilers.
"he's been working extra hours for no reason, almost as if going through old files could be a distraction from something else."
"and he looks exhausted. his clothes are all rumpled and he wore the same tie three days in a row."
simultaneously, the girls shake their heads in genuine uneasiness. the mystery needs to be uncovered. for some reason, interfering with the lives of others seemed much easier when it came to strangers.
a silence settles in the room, gears turning in their heads until emily sighs. "i hate to say this," she aknowledges in a sober tone. "but the last time i saw him like this, i'd just started working here and he was-"
"-going through withdrawals after the tobias hankel case."
jj's voice cutting through is sharp, the mention of a long buried trauma on her lips making her stomach churn. she keeps her gaze down, thinking.
coud he really be using again ?
the unspoken question echoes in the conference room, where no one dares to speak it into existence. they hadn't been there for him the first time, while spencer was alone to battle with the ever lasting demons of a case that soon became another file in the archives of the bureau. none of them knew he'd left a part of him in that cemetery, interred a piece of innocence in the soil of the grave he'd dug forcefully - his grave.
just as penelope lets out a hiccuping sound, manucured fingers gripping tightly around her emotional support octopus mug, the door swings open.
frantically trying to brush his tousled hair back,afraid he missed the beginning of a case meeting, enters spencer. he reaches the table in two quick strides, raising a brow when he realises there's nothing on it and the tablets are off.
"what's up ?" he asks curiously while attempting to straighten his tie -the same brown one with polka dots penelope mentionned earlier, that he hadn't bothered replacing over the days.
all eyes are on him and his rumpled shirt, slightly stained from this morning's coffee. spilled, when spencer tripped over his own bag and almost fell comically, a tangle of limbs and muttered curses.
it's morgan who answers first, jaw tense. "we were talking 'bout you, man... everyone's worried."
in front oh him, spencer's mouth opens and closes as if he was about to say something. he looks at all of them, and shame creeps up.
"am i that transparent ?" he asks in a slithly high pitched panicky voice to which they all nod, and that only makes it worse.
groaning, he grabs the nearest chair and plops down, resting his elbows on the table in defeat. why bother hiding when appartently, they were able to read him like an open book ? they're his friends, the logical part of his brain screams in attempt to drown out the not-so-rational one. he could be honest with them and ask for help, for once.
"i can't sleep," he admits, lips acting before his mind can keep up. "can't eat, can't do anything... it's like... like i can't breathe."
when the words are out, floating in the electrically charged air of the room, it feels wrong to be so open and vulnerable. one by one, he feels as if he was peeling layers of protection shielding him and revealing himself to them. with a purse of his lips, he decides to push through.
"i thought i was immune to this stuff... after everything that happened, i didn't think i'd be so affected..."
sitting right next to him, emily leans in just enough to show support, long lashes batting as her eyes locked onto his in a grounding attempt.
"reid, we know what it's like." rationally, that was true. yet, the concern remained and the brunette promises.
"you'll be alright, it's only a matter of time. and we're here for you, you know that ?"
for some reason, spencer can't exactly pinpoint why this whole situation seems to be taking on such large proportions.
sure, he was incredibly grateful to have all of them by his side. penelope's optimism, morgan's brotherly advice, emily and her honesty. they made all of the violence and horrors of the job fade away with their support.
when he thought he was alone in a whirlwind of dark thoughts, it was the team, unbeknownst to them, who saved him. rossi was full of wisdom, and jj so friendly that their unconditional support gave him a reason to keep his head up.
despite the fact that no one had mentioned his addiction, nor offered help when he was struggling - and that memory, despite the years that had gone by, always left him bitter.
“i don’t think i can be saved,” he adds jokingly in attempt to lighten the mood, though no one laughs.
it seems the silence only stretches and he shyly tugs at his tie, looking around to be met with expressions he didn’t expect.
“don’t say that,” penelope reassures, shaking her head with determination. “you’re gonna have to face it, but it’ll be worth it !”
reid’s brows simply meet halfway, and he straightens up.
social cues weren’t exactly his thing. he was used to feeling misunderstood or completely lost in conversations, ever since his first day at kindergarten when he told a classmate he’d rather sit on a bench rather than play with him in the sand because it was “safer”.
but right now, it was the compassionate looks everyone wore on their face that set him off. did he miss something important, or had they purposely left him out ? he felt like a kid again, biting his lip not to say anything too embarrassing, and desperately wanting to call for his mom.
“guys,” he croaks out, a sheepish boyish look in his caramel eyes. “i’m alright, it’s really not that bad.”
brows raise in surprise, derek even lets out a very dry chuckle at the sound of spencer’s silly attempt at self defence.
“seriously, man ? we see you, it’s like your heart sweats and your teeth are grinding, we’re not gonna let you face it alone.”
“alright,” he sighs, a strand of hair falling in front of his eyes when his chin tilts down. maybe acknowledging it must be the first step, he thinks, before jj speaks up.
“spence,” the blonde coos, her lips pursing. “it’s okay to admit it. you’re addicted-“
heads turn. pens click. chairs creak.
“to… her ?” penelope repeats with a genuinely incredulous expression.
it’s clear to everyone when she turns around to look at derek, that she wants to make sure all of them heard the same thing.
spencer just stares, confirming her suspicions by saying your name.
“yeah,” he repeats, “she’s been gone for five days and i’m going crazy. i was used to living alone before, but i can’t bear the silence anymore. it’s like… it’s like i’m a completely different person now.”
great. a bunch of oblivious idiots, cramped around a table, with fbi badges around their necks they definitely weren’t deserving of.
he wasn’t talking about drugs, he wasn’t using again.
“her.” emily echoes, lips thin as she tries to rewind the conversation. where exactly did they misinterpret it, she can’t recall.
in front of her, a very confused spencer reid blinks once, twice, before rossi pats him on the back in a paternal fashion.
“oh, my boy.” the italian laughs out, because the situation makes so much more sense now, and he’s in for a treat. “now that, we can’t help you with.”
but maybe spencer didn’t want help when it came to love. he didn’t need to be saved, this time - and had nothing to fear, but everything to face. because it was as easy as breathing, yet made his lungs sting when the words escaped him.
a/n : don’t forget to reblog and comment if you enjoyed reading, as liking does very little to promote a fic on tumblr... have a whimsical day everyoneee
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