Robby has a PTSD dream about COVID and Langdon talks him through it
don’t know much about ptsd and don’t want to be inaccurate so here is just nightmares and how frank helps robby deal with them!
not exactly fluff but ughm they love eachother, does it count ??
He needed Robby to need him, no matter how selfish it sounded. It was something that anchored him, gave him sense of purpose. He didn’t know how to function, when Robby was saying that he could deal with his problems on his own. Frank always wanted to argue that no, he actually couldn’t, he was cracking and bleeding, barely holding his ugly pieces together. And Frank could stitch him up, if the man would just let him.
That night he stayed at Robby’s. He rarely did, but his anxiety suddenly struck so much, he thought something terrible would happen if he went home now, if he left Robby on his own. He didn’t know what exactly was frightening him so much, he never really did. This stupid anxiety shit was always vague and holistic. And inescapable unless he had his pills. He tried to quit for the fifth time in a row now, so no meds, just back pain and this nasty feeling of unease.
— you should go, your wife must be worried, — Robby said, still pressing Langdon down on the bed with his hand on his stomach.
The man had this habit of making things uglier every time it felt good. Intentionally or not, he always tried to provoke guilt, when Langdon was getting too comfortable. At first Frank thought it was an attempt to hurt, humiliate him, but now he knew it was a self-sabotage.
— I texted that I’m watching football with friends, — Frank said, nuzzling man’s shoulder.
— mm, really? and who’s playing? — Robby huffed, tugging Langdon closer.
— whoever, she didn’t ask.
— she trusts you so much?
— she doesn’t trust me at all, so what’s the point in asking?
Frank fell asleep quickly, much quicker than he had been these days. He needed his meds or Robby’s hot body, wrapping around him. Or to go to therapy and change every aspect of his fucked-up life, but that one he could never afford. So Robby it was.
He woke up, when he was pushed from the bed, hitting his head against the wall. The worst kind of waking up, if you asked him. He cursed and looked around disoriented. Robby was writhing in bed, screaming loud something about intubation and lungs‘ damage and the time of death, time of death, time of death. Frank got on the bed in a second, grabbing man‘s shoulders to make him wake up. Robby tried to fight him off in his sleep but Langdon dodged him and pleaded „wake up, Robby, wake up, Michael, please“. And he did. His eyes were wide open, looking at Frank clearly in panic.
— everything is alright, it’s me, Frank, — Langdon soothed the man, lightly stroking his arms, — hey, calm down, you’re at home, there’s nothing threatening here.
Robby seemed to doubt it at first. His body still trembling and sweating like he was chased by a wild animal, but then his breathing started to slow down.
— jeez, what happened? what did you saw?
— nothing, — Robby waved off, trying to get Frank‘s hands off him.
— seriously? — Langdon didn’t move an inch, — you pushed me off the bed, because it was „nothing“?
The man averted his eyes, clearly regretting letting Frank stay the night.
— don’t try to pull it on me, — Langdon said, furrowing his brows.
— all your shit with „I’m a big strong man and no one can see how vulnerable and pathetic I am“, — Frank made a face and brushed Robby’s short wet hair from his forehead, — you know, everyone have nightmares, right?
— yes? and what do you see? a cookie monster trying to catch you? — Robby snapped, as he always did when he tried to avoid the topic.
— sometimes, — Frank mocked him, — and sometimes I see all the people turning away from me or my kids dying in a horrible accident. Does it make me weak?
Robby didn’t find what to say, so he just laid down and let Frank do the same, man’s hands still caressing his skin.
— it’s always something about the ER. Massive accidents, shootings, epidemics. I’ve worked there for so long, I have seen everything, — Robby started slowly, not looking at Frank, but clenching his fist on the hem of his t-shirt, — And I’m still seeing. There were enough cases to fill countless of nightmares, every time some new twisted variation of something I’ve been through before.
— and this time? — Langdon asked quietly, moving his head to rest on Robby’s chest.
— oh, yeah, good old times, — Frank huffed.
— you chose the wrong time to join us.
— there wasn’t really a choice, — he murmured, — but I did chose the right ER. it was like all the Hell broke loose back then. but there was also you.
— and what difference did it make?
Frank shifted a little, trying to get even closer than he was. They rarely spoke about something important, and he wasn’t sure if Robby really wanted him to be honest. It was in the middle of the night, though, the only time he could say something he truly meant.
— I don’t know. you just were there and it made everything bearable.
They laid there in the silence, Frank didn’t know whether his words had helped Robby, whether his presence made any difference. He hoped it did.
— there was death everywhere I looked, and you were so young and full of life, — Robby said after a while, pressing his cheek to Frank’s bed hair, — it gave me hope.
If Langdon had a tail, he would wiggle it. Robby had no doubts.
— don’t look so pleased, you were also hella annoying.
— god, you were too! — Frank laughed and rose up on his hands to look at Robby upside down with a happy glint in his eyes, — bossing around and treating me like a kid.
— still a kid to me, — Robby shrugged more just to tease Langdon, who always fell for all the ragebait.
Frank pinched man’s forearm and then kissed, and kissed, and kissed him, until he was sleepy again, resting peacefully on top of Robby, aimlessly drawing shapes with his hand on his stomach. It felt good to be needed.
And falling asleep with the weight of Langdon on top of his chest, not all these unbearable burden, he always carried with him, Robby thought that it felt good not to be alone.
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