snakebite heart, bubblegum smile

Spencer Whitehall; twenty-something guidance counselor that still believes in fairies. And I'm just like cellophane, 'cause she sees right through me. I know, she's glitter and gold.

[spencerwhitehall]

I'll be leaving the roleplay. 

As much as I love you guys, and as much as I love this roleplay, we're not really that great of a fit, and I think it's time I left. 

I do want to thank all of you for the great memories, and the opportunity to roleplay with you. I've sent a message to the main, but I thought I'd say goodbye and let you all know anyway. Thanks for everything, guys x 

[fuqclaire]

Okay.. Okay, do it, do it, do it!!

[spencerwhitehall]

This is stupid.

[calebfk-blog-deactivated2020110]

"I drank a lot of eggnog so please shut up and go away. Thank you. Have a nice day."

[spencerwhitehall]

"You need orange juice."

[ofgrcunders-blog]

      I spent my entire Christmas at the hospital— if you’d only seen the excitement on the little kids when they saw the presents they received. It was wonderful.

[spencerwhitehall]

I'm positive that was a joyous Christmas experience for you, but I'm pretty good with not seeing their happy little face.

[emersonwtvr-deactivated20210626]

Not really, I’m just trying to be polite since it’s Christmas.

[spencerwhitehall]

Christmas is stupid.

[emersonwtvr-deactivated20210626]

Yes, I’m very happy right now.

[spencerwhitehall]

You're far too easily pleased.

[emersonwtvr-deactivated20210626]

Oh, come on. Live a little, Spencer.

[spencerwhitehall]

...happy?

[emersonwtvr-deactivated20210626]

You see —there’s a mistletoe above our heads, you know what that means, right?

[spencerwhitehall]

I'm not really one for the whole, uh, Christmas tradition thing.. 

[spencerwhitehall]

Journal #01: Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass.  Triggers: Death mention, addiction mention, drug mention, cursing.

Here we are again; the Christmas season. 

I think a part of me may have been expecting this year to be different, to not be like it's predecessors. Yet, as always, I was wrong. The holidays get harder every year without them, especially Christmas. I can handle Thanksgiving, Easter and even Halloween or some other stupid holiday that we celebrate for one day but has no real meaning, it's just Christmas that gets me. Something about the stupid decorations with the lights that follow you everywhere and an abundance of other elements that make me want to crawl into bed and not return until New Year's has passed -- by which time I'll probably have gotten over 'it', as though it's something you can just heal with time. Christmas is a stupid holiday, and it's too close to Thanksgiving/New Year so you just spend so much money in the holidays it's terrible and I'd be much happier if Christmas was one of those things that died out, that we stopped teaching the coming generation and instead told stories of Christmas passed. Once you hit twenty, it stops being fun. For me, at least. 

If it wasn't for the signs everywhere that 'Santa' is coming back, I would most likely completely forget about this holiday all together. Santa is supposed to bring gifts to good kids, right? Then where's mine? Why did I have to have the two things that made life bearable snatched away from me, just days before this stupid fucking holiday? How is that fair? I was good. I got clean, I got my shit together, I did everything the damn programs told me to, so why do I still have to suffer? If there was a way I could go back in time, I'd tell myself to not get clean. I'd tell myself to fuck the program and fuck what everyone else wants; it makes life enjoyable so go for it. Fucking blaze it when it's not 420 and fuck whoever looks at you twice. If it makes you feel something, then why not? What's wrong with wanting to feel? Wanting to make sure you're still alive? People act as though it's all so 'taboo' and 'unruly' but if it gets you through the day then fuck it. 

I'm done. This holiday is stupid, me writing this was stupid and everything is just fucking stupid. 

[lovedself]

"Yes, yes, exactly! Have you ever watched it?"

[spencerwhitehall]

"No, I don't actually own a television."

[lovedself]

It’s Get It Right, an original Glee song.

[spencerwhitehall]

"Glee.. that's the one with the singing kids, right?"

[lovedself]

         What can you do when your good isn’t good enough? And all that you touch tumbles down? ‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things, I just wanna fix it somehow. But how many times will it take? Oh how many times will it take for me to get it right?

[lovedself]

[spencerwhitehall]

"Whatcha singing?"

[spencerwhitehall]

I'm calling it: I'm officially sick.

I rarely get 'sick', at least not properly. When I do, however, it's usually a terrible time for everyone that comes into contact with me and it lasts for around a week. 

Last time this happened, I was sick on the Friday, felt better + met Jake on the Saturday and was pretty much violently ill for the rest of the week, until the following Friday/Saturday. I woke up this morning feeling like shit but I was like "Oh it's probably because you've been at school + because you haven't been using your vocal chords properly in a while." but it's just gotten worse. 

If you need me, I'll be fighting off death.

[estermartell-blog]

    It’s Christmas. Don’t be grumpy, Spencer.

[spencerwhitehall]

I'm not being grumpy.

[totesblates]

Visit Original Link

[estermartell-blog]

        — Merry Christmas! Oh gosh, I love Christmas so, so much. It’s my favorite holiday. 

[spencerwhitehall]

...what.

[calebfk-blog-deactivated2020110]

"Might as well be."

[spencerwhitehall]

"Glad someone around here agrees with me."