Literally Me

spheals | 25 | fan of green falco

[stickynutjuice]

she thinks its my dick poking her when we cuddling but its my tapeworm coming out to say hi

[paper-mario-wiki]

the main thing that puts me off of playing chess is that there is 2000 years of gameplay that hundreds of people with higher IQs than me have spent thousands of hours studying the history of, so much so that when i put the pawn forward they say “ah i see youre going for the bulgarian somersault” and then i try to take their bishop with my knight and they go “aw, rookie mistake, youve played the frenchmans cumsock, and in approximately 37 moves i’ll have won”

[midiport]

when jimmy neutron mom was pushing him out of her pimple pocket he got halfway out and she said fuck this like when you stop pushing a huge ass turd out for 0.0000001 second and it slides all the way back in so u gotta start over again. Anyways jimmy got stuck halfway and his cranium got squeezed in the middle thats y his head lookms like a watermelon with too many rubber bandss on the middle

[doubleca5t]

i don't understand, are you implying being trans is better than being a kpop stan?

I'm not implying it I'm saying it explicitly

[allanimanga]

[zappavolta]

[pics-that-make-you-go-hmm]

[slavery]

coworker with 2 shifts a week: aye bro can you PLEASE work my shift I have a doctors appointment and a dentist appointment and class and my dad is dead

[katoku]

[woodmeat]

Me taking the nut filled condom she tucked in the drawer when she thought i wasn’t looking

[loveliest--dream]

Wow, you really out here stealin snacks 😕

[woodmeat]

[898-deactivated20210515]

[redqueenslay238]

She’s rich now.

[yonkou]

[mrclassyclass]

[pics-that-make-you-go-hmm]

[cybergata]

[whitegirlsaintshit]

i the snail.

[omgs]

everybody here is perfect

[mamaduafe]

I have never seen a happier snail omg

[specialmemefresh-deactivated202]