spicy

22 | i love red, cats, bl, bts, music, art, anime proudly bisexual and a freak and no I’m not an nsfw account, i just like that photo as my profile pic

[spicycherrry]

HOLLANOV FICS I FOUND

I wanted to organize these fics that I found and just mindlessly click on and thought that maybe I should share it because maybe some hollanov-fic-readers would like it, so here it is.

I think some would normally create a spreadsheets but I don't know how to do that and I already got Notion and I know my way around there so I just did it on Notion.

Enjoy! I'll be adding more as I keep finding fics from the hollanov streets.

Edit: I have learned a little bit of google's spreadsheets so lemme know if anyone wants me to create one on there 🫶

[spicycherrry]

So… I think the two company I went to apply is no longer gonna reach out to me after I replied late.. TWICE! First on that 2nd-choice company, they asked me to reply before 6 and I saw their text literally 30 mins after 6 AND I WAS HOPING they’d still accept it but it’s clear that they won’t coz that was like 2-3 days ago and still no reply or call from them, not even an email. Now, the second company that I was really REALLY anticipating to work under sent me an email to reply BEFORE 4 and I saw their email quarter to 8…. FUCK ME! Fuck my life! I would have seen it if I didn’t go out! If my brother didn’t ask me to look after his lil store! I would have sat my ass in front of my laptop and keep checking my emails! I feel like I’m gonna cry. My period is coming and my mood is becoming worse and I’m starting to get irritated about everything and you add this shit happening to me.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! It’s fucking June, pride month! And I’m gay and this is happening to me on fucking pride month?!! Seriously? God I wanna evaporate

JUST FUCKING TAKE ME!!!! NOW!

I need a fucking job right now so I can save money for next year when I finally start college and also to get a new fully functioning phone and a lot of things that needs fixing… why is this happening to me. I’m gonna cry

[spicycherrry]

anyway I need to be fucked. I need my depress ass to be fucked

[bugslibraryy]

i REFUSE to believe that during the secret relationship era shane and ilya didn’t take photos together…digital cameras exist and they are millionaires!!!! and i knowwww ilya loves a dirty polaroid…i just know!!

No I agreeeeeeee I think the only way Shane would have been okay with it is if they were Polaroids that he could look away safely, know where they are and keep them safe under lock and key. They each have their own fancy lock boxes that Shane bought them, keys safely stored away. They have a handful of Polaroid that are just for them. It is a bit over the top- Shane knows but this is the most precious thing to him he can’t risk it.

The photos include:

Shane on his knees, face planted into Ilya’s crotch, Ilya’s hand cradling the back of his head

Shane laid on the bed, eyes closed, face blissed out with his face covered in Ilya’s cum, Ilya’s thumb playing with his lips

Shane on his knees, Ilya’s hand gripping his waist

Ilya naked and flexing with a big stupid grin

Ilya between Shane’s legs, Shane’s thighs over his shoulders, only his curls visible

Shanes ass, Ilya’s big hand gripping one cheek, able to see a hint of his hole, dripping out cum and puffy

Ilyas chest, covered in cum

Shane’s chest, covered in cum

Blurry photo of Shane sat across Ilya’s lap, mid riding him, cock hard and dripping against his tummy

And more and more and more I’m sure hehe

[spicycherrry]

THIS IS HOT

[spicycherrry]

it may just be a fucking charger but it's more than that to me! when they use my things and something happens to it OH THEY'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE ON THAT AT ALL!!! fuck me! fuck me for trying to be kind and understanding and giving with all the fucking things I have INCLUDING A FUCKING CHARGER THAT I BOUGHT WITH MY FUCKING MONEY THAT HE CAN BUY TOO WITH ALL HIS FUCKING MONEY!!! he can buy a new pants and shoes that's worth over a thousand BUT NOT A FUCKING CHARGER??? GOD FUCKING FORBID I GET ANGRY OVER THIS KIND OF THINGS BECAUSE THEY'LL CALL ME CRAZY AND OVERDRAMATIC! Fuck you! I fucking hate you so much!!! Once I leave this hell of a house, I fucking swear I'm never gonna show my face ever again.

[themoonandmyman]

#myshane couldn’t give less of a fuck about queer culture he just likes dick in his ass and he loves a Man. If you asked him about Stonewall he’d think it was the name of a tech startup.

#myilya is a fag and he loves it. him and harris watch queer movies once a month with Harris’ mom and they drink margaritas with little umbrellas in them.

[oatmealdiva]

shane:

[spicycherrry]

White Nights - 7/10 movie review!

I watched this a few months ago maybe around February. This was my first ever Russian movie. I'm not gonna lie, in the first 10-20 minutes it felt boring but as it went on, I got intrigued and was really seated. However, I think I have to rewatch this one of these days because I was honestly emotionally detached when I watched this so I couldn't fully feel the character's feelings here but I really loved it. This movie was adapted from the famous writer Fyodor Dostoevsky whose works I wanna read more. When I get my hands on his books I'll definitely get it because I'm a reader too!

Side note, I'm actually trying to learn the Russian language!

[spicycherrry]

Brokeback Mountain - 8/10 movie review!

I watched this a few months ago and kinda made a video about it then posted it on TikTok but I wanna make a proper review on this movie here!

I've always heard about this movie for forever since I became a certified BL lover but always pushed it aside to watch. I've also kinda had an initial thought that it would be angsty or have a sad ending. And damn was I right 🥲 I love the movie, the setting, and the actors. Though I did not cry, I felt heartbroken by how it ended and what happened to Jack. In my video where I talked about it, I said that they should've just gotten together so they did not have to involve the women. Because isn't it just so miserable to have it that way? Being secrets and then lying to your wife and going miles and miles away from everyone just so you can be together and mind you, it's taking them months to see each other again. On the other hand, I get why they have to do it, why it has to be that way. And I am aware of the bad criticism this movie got, it's like the message of it completely went over those people's head. It's sad.

Well, that's it! I love it and RIP to Heath Ledger.

[spicycherrry]

I'm gonna try to be consistent on posting movie reviews I've watched :)

[spicycherrry]

Bachelorette - 5/10 movie review!

This was okay. Messy. Chaotic. Lackluster. But still okay.

[spicycherrry]

Ladies First - 9/10 movie review!

I enjoyed watching this movie and there were scenes that was really hilarious! If you have watched this movie and thought, "well that's not how women would be if they were in power", and what I have to say is that, it isn't completely or entirely about feminism. The movie is telling us that if the role was reverse, it'd be ridiculous, or that men would realize just how ridiculous it is for your value and capability to be defined by your gender. It also has a satirical touch to it, you see it on how the man in this movie tried to sleep his way to becoming the CEO(sorry for the spoilers). The movie puts action into the phrase, "how would you feel if you were treated exactly how you're treating others?"

This movie should've been done long ago but also it's kinda fitting into today's generation and situation.

[spicycherrry]

this is a cruel fucking world and only animals are the real kind ones

[spicycherrry]

tbh I would've said the opposite, I think people who call hr porn have never seen "real" porn in their lives, the sex scenes in hr are so well choreographed, tender and much less graphic than most shit you find on porn sites. and tbh even if it were porn, who gives a shit, there's nothing inherently wrong with porn and just because something's sexual doesn't mean it can't also be art

it is true that there's nothing wrong with porn in general, but some people are reducing HR as only that and you know HR isn't only about sex. that's what upsets me, it seems that those people who called HR porn were only focusing on the sex scenes as if it doesn't have a real story. I do agree with you that even sexual things can be art! Intimacy is art.

[spicycherrry]

the sex scenes were graphic but then, so what? just like what everyone's been saying, even hudson, if HR was a straight show they wouldn't even give a fuck about those sex scenes, like it's just another tuesday. they couldn't sit with the fact that those scenes weren't loaded with loud ass music and wasn't shot in silhouette, they didn't like the realness of it! but what the heck is wrong with it being so realistic? I personally love how realistic it felt, how intimate it was, it's like... you can almost feel it! and mind you, it wasn't horniness I felt but LOVE, AFFECTION, CARE. I think people who called HR porn are fucking porn-addicts, idc I said what I said.

[hollandar]

Heated Rivalry — 1x02 ⤷ VEGAS BATHROOM

(sources below)

“What was fun about the scene...”

“There's a full spectrum of emotions...”

“I like the animal thing when...”

“Shane can't look at Ilya...”

“That scene is intimacy...”

“For Parrell...”

“Was there any moment...”

“Your micro-expressions...”

“As for scenes that I think they improved...”

behind the scenes photo

[spicycherrry]

my delulu ass is at it again

for the past 5 or 6 years now, I've been trying to write about my relationship that long ended back in 2020, because that one's just really really unforgettable, fucking remarkable

when I say write about it, I mean make a fucking story about it, kinda like going down memory lane but then it's either I stop halfway or just delete everything and then on a random fucking day I would just suddenly decide to start again, try again and the same thing happens

I recently recorded an hour long video talking about it instead. Recent, like almost 3 months ago yeah and for the first few days and weeks I was so enthusiastic in editing it but then I got tired and never looked back on that video again, it's just sitting there in capcut FUCK THIS SHIT ISTG

and today I visited the page with the unfinish story on notion, hear me out... I genuinely think that the reason I cannot ever finish making this story or finish editing that video is because me and him is gonna cross paths again, because our story together isn't finish yet, as in IT'S NOT OVER YET

I'm very much aware how delusional I sound but fuck it MAYBE THAT'S THE FUCKING REASON I CANNOT FINISH SHIT

sue me! for still holding on to our past story, to our history together! I've never been loved like that and what I have of it now is just fragments of memories

[spicycherrry]

well... I have a new song on repeat and deep inside I know exactly why I have this on repeat

at this point, I simply just dont wanna move on