I do think Cliff was very proud of Ilya for pulling Shane motherfucking Hollander when he found out. I do also think we was very confused about Ilya suddenly having gone gay. He didn't have a problem with it, he just didn't see it coming, and he's not really sure how to act around him the first time they hang out together, just the two of them, after the leak.
He wants to show Ilya that he's good with him - that he can be his gay self around him - so the first time they meet up, Cliff suggests they go shopping. Ilya's a little confused. He and Cliff have never gone shopping together and, though it could be fun, he's not really feeling up for a full outing. Cliff then suggests brunch and, when Ilya shoots that down too, he asks if Ottawa has any gay bars they could go to. Although the idea of watching Cliff get hit on by guys all night is vaguely tempting, Ilya suggests they just meet at home and play some video games.
Cliff feels a little disappointed Ilya isn't ready to share his gay side with him but he gets it. He knows how the hockey culture is and maybe he just needs to show Ilya he's a proper ally and then he'll let himself be his gayest self.
Throughout their hang, he keeps trying to subtly show Ilya that he's safe around him. He talks about the latest season of Drag Race, he asks him who's his favourite Will and Grace character and says he likes Jack the most, he asks who his favourite pop diva is and tells him he thinks Beyoncé is rad. Ilya doesn't seem to take the hint though. Apparently he isn't watching the latest Drag Race season, he doesn't know who his favourite Will and Grace character is and he tells Cliff he already knows Ilya's more of a rap guy but Beyoncé's cool. He prefers Megan Thee Stallion, though.
When Ilya brings out a couple of beers for them, Cliff carefully tells Ilya that if he wants a White Claw or something instead, then that's okay. Apparently, that's Ilya's breaking point and he goes off like, "Cliff, I'm the same fucking person I was, okay? I still like the same stuff. The only thing I didn't share is that I also like fucking men. I drink beer. I drink vodka. Shane and I play video games, we watch hockey, we watch rugby, we work out together." Cliff is a little confused, "and then you fuck?" "Yes, Marley, and then we fuck. Do you have a problem with that?" And all Cliff can say is, "that sounds pretty awesome." And it really does. If what Ilya's saying is true, it sounds like being gay is just like having a best bro who also makes you cum. That sounds like a fucking dream, to be honest.
hollanov have a countdown app on their phones so they always know how long it is until they next see each other and they use this as the basis of their good morning texts
mostly they’re sweetieful (‘25 days until i get to kiss your freckles’ ‘25 days until i get to fall asleep next to you’) and sometimes they’re sexy (‘16 days until i get to use your pretty mouth’ ‘16 days until i get to come on your cock’) and sometimes they’re silly (‘8 days until i get to drink your boring smoothies’ ‘8 days until i get to steal my hoodie back’)
sometimes ilya texts first, sometimes shane, either way they reply every morning and match the vibe of each other’s message
until it’s the day before the first boston vs montreal game of the season and by pure coincidence ilya sends ‘good morning moya lyubov it is 1 day until i get to show you how much i love you ❤️’ at the exact same time as shane sends ‘good morning it’s 1 day until i get to beat your cup losing ass 😈’
ilya treating shane's inner thighs like a chew toy. they've gone a couple of rounds and are all loose-limbed and sleepy, and ilya just finished blowing shane but he's not ready to move so he just. doesn't. just stays there between shane's legs, biting and licking and sucking hickeys into the sensitive skin of shane's inner thighs.
it feels good, obviously, and shane's too worn out to get hard so he lays there and enjoys it, one hand in ilya's hair, lazily petting it.
they have practice a couple of days later and shane has honestly forgotten all about it until they're hitting the showers and he's getting undressed and he hears someone say, "holy shit, dude."
he looks up to see hayes studiously avoiding his eyes, cheeks bright pink. he's not the only one; at least five different centaurs are looking anywhere but at shane, faces red and expressions guilty. shane looks down at himself, realizing for the first time just how dark and numerous the marks on his inner thighs are.
he looks back up, catching ilya's eyes this time. "oops," ilya says, shrugging.
shane has to go take a cold shower immediately because the discovery that his exhibition kink is applicable to real life and not just a thing he wants to fantasize about + ilya's completely blasé attitude about marking him up so blatantly is doing things to him that cannot be happening in the centaurs' locker room.
last thing i'll say on this tonight but the reason it bothers me is because like. troy's book starts with him being publicly retaliated against for calling out dallas kent for being a rapist. troy does the right thing in calling out this actual irredeemable bastard and he's the one punished for it while dallas is protected. and this kickstarts him actively working to stop hiding behind that homophobic douchebag mask and be a better person. he makes the choice to do it and keep at it whether people forgive him or accept it or not. and it's before he's got any reliable support system- he's not close to his new team or anyone else yet, but he still wants to be better. and he doesn't expect anything from anyone for it. aside from his relationship with harris, troy's entire book is about him working to be a better person. and so many people's first reaction to a character genuinely wanting to grow and change from his past mistakes is "no actually youre worse and irredeemable for reasons i just made up"? that just doesn't sit right with me.
These are some of the main reasons why he's my favourite.
He starts his path of redemption on his own. There is no one that looks at him and says "I can fix him" he wakes up and does it himself.
Also at no point do people forgive him or suddenly start liking him, because they realise he is basically depressed or notice any of his other many issues (like only Ilya and Harris know about the human trash that is his father). They see he is trying and that's the important part.
He chooses to be better on his own, every day, starting off with no support and a shit ton of luggage and grief.
He is doing something incredibly brave, while believing himself cowardly.
continuation of this short post where shane tipsily contemplates getting squished between ilya and marleau’s sweaty bodies <3
it’s been several months and shane isn’t even thinking anymore about getting panini-pressed between his husband and his husband’s bro-y best friend. it was buzzy and fun and ilya teasing him about it while they fucked afterwards was kinda hot but he’s done with all that now.
that’s the plan, at least, until he finds himself in a club. finds himself a little drunker than he intended. finds himself on the dance floor, ilya guiding him with long, sexy movements that keep them pressed together so nicely, chest to chest. it’s less dancing, to be honest, and more swaying. taking stock of each other’s bodies and following the ebb and flow of them. and shane is drunk and happy and a little turned on by his smoking hot husband so that’s why he reacts the way he does when it happens. when they’re suddenly not alone.
shane is perhaps hyperaware of cliff marleau’s presence tonight, but only in the way that ilya hasn’t gotten to see him in such a long time. it’s a reunion of sorts. so vibes are up. his husband’s happy and that makes shane happy, his slightly swimming brain latching onto the endorphins that spike around marleau like they’re his own.
it’s why his body reacts the way it does when one moment, things are footloose and fancy free, and then the next, there’s this solid, hulking weight settling behind him, not touching but unmistakably there. it’s marleau’s deep voice. marleau’s woodsy cologne. marleau’s heat, hovering just shy of shane’s back as he leans over his shoulder to shout something at ilya.
it’s loud as fuck in here, the bass sitting low in shane’s chest, so he really does mean shout. but ilya leans in a bit to catch his words. seamlessly. they’ve done this so many times, shane assumes, finding each other in clubs after inevitably splitting up. and that’s fine. that’s good. ilya’s laughing and he’s happy and that makes shane happy. and then the crowd moves.
it’s light - a ripple effect as a group of girls make their way through the sea of bodies - but it’s just enough, that adrenaline spiking with a top-off of sweet endorphins as suddenly, marleau’s body sinks in to press all along shane’s back.
it’s nothing. an accident. and yet shane’s heart suddenly bunny-kicks in his chest, the light squeeze of him caught between ilya and marleau’s chests sending a pulse of satisfied heat through his core. because neither of them are moving away. there’s a natural sway to them that comes from being in a crowd of bodies, but the extra space must’ve never freed up behind marleau after the girls passed. and all of the sudden shane’s brain and dick register that he’s stuck. that he’s squished, by firm muscles, from all sides.
he’s been in this position before. on a dance floor like this. rose kissing him, miles’s lips not so secretly brushing against the back of his neck. it’s not a new position, but tonight is nothing like that. right now, there’s nothing remotely sexual even happening. it’s just ilya talking to his friend. just having a moment. casual and circumstantial and yet shane’s skin is on fire. his muscles are screaming with relief, the beautiful satisfaction of the deep pressure surrounding him making his brain swim down deep.
ilya shouts something back to marleau with a devastatingly handsome smile. it gets both hands reaching over shane’s shoulders to give ilya’s a friendly rub and it’s too loud to catch. all shane knows is they’re both laughing now. they’re like boys again - a revisit to their clubrat days and they’re just as smooth and sexy but they’re mature now. stable. and shane is ilya’s, those big hands on his hips now that marleau’s snug against his back. there’s no room to actually dance and shane’s finding he couldn’t be happier about that, pulse thick and thundering in his ears as another wave presses in, marleau’s touch dropping back to clamp over shane’s deltoids as he’s forced to press forward again - so fucking tightly into him this time that shane stumbles that last half a step into ilya’s chest and fuck.
shane’s eyes flutter closed. hands fall to clutch into the back of ilya’s tank top. his dick jumps in his jeans as the heady pressure squeezing around him tightens. neither of the men seem to care that marleau’s all up on shane and maybe that’s normal. maybe that’s just the way the club scene is. you get cozy and flush against your best friend’s partner and no one bats an eye because it doesn’t mean anything. it’s just a spacing issue.
maybe shane’s the freak.
because he’s trying not to, but he can feel himself getting hard. he can hear all that teasing that poured from his husband’s lips after he admitted to hypothetically wanting this around that fire pit. the pressure. the trap. with this man specifically.
marleau leans his head back for a second and his warm breath fans against the nape of shane’s neck and suddenly, like a demon has possessed him, it’s taking everything in shane’s power not to back his ass up into marleau’s lap. to grind against him a little. just to see. god, he’s drunk. he needs ilya to take him home and fuck him. he needs to stay right here and live out his days crushed between these two sweaty bodies, their colognes mixing into this insane aroma that gets in shane’s head and makes him wanna do something crazy.
he just needs to recenter. steady his pulse. enjoy the pressure without equating it to something filthy, like he can usually do so well, but for some reason is struggling hard as hell with right now.
shane rests his chin over ilya’s shoulder with a hum. closes his eyes. remembers himself and where he is and opens them back up, making eye contact with a twink who’s watching him with what can only be described as biblical proportions of envy.
they need to leave. before shane does something stupid. before he ruins a friendship that’s been in the works for over a decade because he’s drunk and horny and can’t control himself.
shane lifts his head to brush his lips against ilya’s ear, but before he can ask, something happens behind them. whatever it is, it’s got marleau’s lap pressing up flush against his ass and god, it sends this buzzy pleasure through him so, so deeply and the noise escapes shane before he can reel it in. before he can act like he’s normal and not very obviously so fucking turned on between them.
he can feel ilya’s chest rumble. hear the smirk that’s dancing across his lips as he noses his way over to shane’s ear instead.
“soon,” he murmurs, and shane has no way of knowing how his eyes flick up to snag on marleau over his shoulder. “let us play with you a little longer.”
Crack concept that is keeping me awake- Shane bulking and doing squats because the competitiveness demons in his jock brain are telling him to beat Rozanov at having a big ass and there's even a tape measure turns out one day YES his ass is bigger despite not being as spherical Ilya's
I see no crack concepts, I see only facts. Shane knows that Ilya already loves his ass (and Shane loves Ilya’s ass) but this is personal. He cannot stand idly by and let his husband carry on having the biggest badonkadonk in the house, uncontested.
And, added bonus, the bigger his ass gets, the more Ilya’s hands stray there even when they’re just lounging around the house. He’s feeling very appreciated for all his hard work.
As some anon sent me previously, Ilya’s like “you’re lucky I have a big dick, Hollander, or I’d never be able to fill you up the way you need with all this ass in the way.”
Ilya laughed about Shane folding his clothes during their first hookup but that laughter died right in his throat when Shane Hung-ander pulled his panties down to reveal a genuine 9-incher
Shane was fifteen when the first High School Musical film came out which means it's not entirely impossible that he would've watched it with his then girlfriend. And sure, he thought the whole musical aspect was kind of dumb and, yeah, the acting wasn't great but maybe, just maybe, he felt a little tingle at Troy Bolton; star basketball player and certified 2006 Hunk.
But, and I cannot stress this enough, that tingle didn't last long because as soon as Troy started gambling with his basketball career, Shane was all the way turned off. Of course he sides with the team! Troy's their captain! He's their best player! He's their best shot at the championship! And he's not honouring that commitment. He's not taking it seriously At All. He's blowing it all off to, what? Be in some fucking high school theatre production? What the fuck is wrong with him??
Why the fuck do burger recipes assume you’re grilling out for a family and not planning an elaborate 2 week baby trapping scenario in which you still don’t exactly know what the baby in this situation would be because you’re gay and he definitely can’t get you pregnant. Not that you’d want to get pregnant of course. But you do think it’d be the easiest means of convincing him to stay. there’s never a recipe for like 4 burgers max.
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