cw: dark content. stalking. murder. toxic/yandere behavior. pregnancy mention.
a/n: itâs been a while since I wrote for Illumi damn.
The longer the man in your direct path attempts to hold your attention, the faster he careens to an untimely death. Of course, the young man before you is none the wiser, barely noticing the nervous tap in your foot as he continues to chat you up to the best of his ability. If he knew what were good for him, heâd move out of your way, but usually men of this sort donât - not the type of man whoâd put out his cigarette and corner you on your way out of a convenience store in the dead of night, engaging you in conversation you are not interested in.
âAll Iâm saying is that itâs dangerous out there, and perhaps you should consider letting me accompany you home,â he finishes his proposition. The smile on his face is sleazy, but just that is not enough to warrant death. He leans over, eyes running up and down your form as though youâre not shrouded in an oversized hoodie and baggy sweatpants that reveal very little about your shape or condition.
The calm demeanor on your face does not betray the fact that your heart is starting to pick up in pace. From the moment he started talking, youâve been counting in time with an internal stopwatch. Youâre close to 2 minutes, perhaps 3. Youâre surprised heâs still breathing.
Unedited but uhhhh I hope you don't mind me stealing this from our dms, ily and sorry if it sucks
Izuku makes his way through the house and pulls your body into his as soon as he sees you. He can't help but smile, he's missed you so much today; he hasn't stopped thinking about the way your body perfectly molds against his and how your voice sounds as you're chanting his name.
You try to push him away with a laugh, "Izuku, you're filthy. Go shower," but his grip on your hips is iron clad.Â
"Come with me," he purrs into your ear, his large hands palming your ass as he pulls your body into him with all of his strength.Â
How could you refuse him?
The steam from the shower makes the air thick as you try to keep your heart from jumping out of your chest. Izuku holds one of your thighs in his hand, keeping you spread open for him as his thick cock slides between your folds.Â
His tip catches on your clit and your back arches. "Izu, please," you moan, your brain already going fuzzy from the way he's towering over you.
He angles his hips and lets the head of his cock push inside you. "Fuck, you feel so good," he mutters before he presses in deeper.
His cock is so thick it feels like he's splitting you in half as he slowly begins thrusting inside you. His rhythm gets harder and harder, and he uses more and more strength to fuck into you.
The only thing you can do is hold onto his biceps as he pulls orgasm after orgasm from you until you're a babbling mess begging for his cum.
synopsis. wild eyes hide broken thoughts, but izana allows you to piece him back together.
cw. hurt/comfort(?). slight angst. very fluffy but in a heart-warming/emotional way. kind of an exploration into izana's mind. soft, emotional sex. idk this is kind of a tear jerker maybe??? overuse of metaphors because i have no self control evidently.
wc. 1.4k
a/n. commission for the lovely @marism! fun fact this was not the original fic but i heard little rowboat by daniel caesar and completely scrapped the other draft and here we are. i can't believe u got me to write izana im </3 dyuhsjckoj i hope you like it though because i actually really enjoyed writing this! thank you for commissioning me sweet angel ily <3 thank u to @lordsanzu for beta-ing this for me bc wow is izana hard to write chfdivoj
Hurt can drive an animal wild. Hurt can force something normally gentle and loving to lash out, driven against its nature to become something rabid. The most common example of this is in dogs, neglected and mistreated, and overtime they become something monstrous.
Think of how much more hurt affects a human.
Itâs painful. Human emotions are complex, much more intricate and deeply rooted than that of an animal. Theyâre woven with string of thought and carefully threaded into blankets of feeling, delicate hem holding strings of the most vulnerable parts of the soul together. Humankindâs greatest weakness are our emotions, and hurt is the most disastrous of it all. Seeing its manifest product is always painful to watch.
Itâs even more painful when the host of its parasite has given over to its effects.
Izanaâs eyes were broken when you met him. The stems that decorated lavender irises resembled cracks in broken glass, fragile and in desperate need of gentle care. His teeth and tongue were sharpened and he bared them violently, ready to bite at whoever got too close, frantic to push them beyond arms reach all over again, keep them a safe distance away from himself. You werenât an exception either. In fact, it was you that Izana was most violent towards. Bared teeth were accompanied with threats and snarls, the cracks in his eyes splintered and grew whenever he saw your face. To someone less patient, itâd be assumed that Izana simply didnât like you.
You could see why that assumption could be made. People make the same assumptions whenever a creature acts untamed, which prompts them to be neglected, cast aside, deemed irredeemable. A reprobate, even.
So, how do you redeem the irredeemable? How do you tame someone who couldnât stand to have you around, who acted out whenever you got too near, who bit back when you came too close, who thrashed and fought and tried their best to push you out of their lives?
âIzana, are you alright?â
You do so with patience.
Izana doesnât get you. Thereâs no part of you that makes sense. Every action contradicts another. Every conclusion he comes to has doubt behind it, some sliver of uncertainty. He just canât figure you out and it drives him insane. Which, considering this is Izana of all people, thatâs saying something.
Why are you still here?
He hates that look in your eyes. It makes him ache. The way you look at people with nothing but hope and dry belief, the way you put all your faith in someone. You wear your heart on your forehead at this point, your sleeve is not enough. You bare your entire benevolence for everyone to see, everyone to witness, everyone to hold. Even him.
Itâs strange to him. He hurts you and he knows it. He sees how his words cause the light in your eyes flicker and dim, he sees how his actions cause your dam to break apart, the strength in your shoulders crumble away. He sees how his will wears away at yours, how you push against his push and it rubs and burns against your soft heart and doughy soul. Youâre full aware that Izana is no good for you, that he does everything in his power to come against you, and yet youâre so stubborn that you justâŚstay anyway.
Youâre full aware Izana intends to break you. So why do you stay?
It's strange. Seeing those same hopeful eyes crack when the inevitable happens, seeing you try to hold back emotions that spill out of you, seeing you try to pretend like everythingâs fine when itâs not. It's strange seeing that light flicker away, watching your watery smile shake, watching you swallow back the crack in your voice when you lie to him that youâre okay.
Maybe it shouldnât be strange or infuriating. He's hypocritical, actually. Heâs the same way.
So where does Izana go from here? Being broken and bitter with emotion he detests to feel. His efforts are futile and it shows whenever you rush to his side again, unlike most others, and refuse to give up on him. He wonders if you know that Izanaâs long since given up on himself. So, where does he go from here?
âNo, Iâm not.â
He goes back to you.
Itâs interesting to observe you both. How Izanaâs stony walls only ever come down when youâre alone and he has no other choice. Your overwhelming push consumes him and he allows himself to be washed away in your tides of care. Itâs slow, gradual, but your waves crash against his shores and gently erode away at his rocks and boulders until, eventually, he breaks.
For once, Izana allows himself to free fall. Itâs scary, wind rushing against his ears and he closes his eyes to mask his fear. He hopes that he doesnât regret this once again, pushing his barriers aside for the first time in years. He hopes that he doesnât land hard and splinter, he hopes this doesnât bleed, he hopes that he doesnât feel the hollow ache of hurt again.
He finds himself caught in the safety net of your bosom, surrounded by the warmth and care of comforting walls, wrapped up in your soft embrace. Finally, lavender eyes that were devoid and rigid and empty for so long filled with something, something so overwhelming that it pooled into his waterline and broke free of retention, streaking over splotchy, reddened cheeks and draining down his slender face. Heâs caught, and heâs grateful- a part of him struggles to believe it. His hands, rough and calloused and shaky wrap around you, his net, gentle with an air of confused grace as it moves over and prods into your skin. He lands into something soft and it gives way for him, pillowed and cushion-y, and parts of it extend, wrap around him, drive him into your solace deeper. Itâs overwhelming. Youâre overwhelming.
He hopes you never stop.
Chapped lips rain praise over your hills and valleys as his thunderous sky opens and pours into you. He lets himself go, lets your warmth consume him, lets your body meld and mold as he tries best to become one with you. Was the feeling of love always this staggering? Why did he deprive himself of the inundate rush of comfort for so long? Would you always be this sweet? This gentle? This loving? This good? Izana doesnât care, not in this moment. In this moment he cries out in finality and joy. In this moment, at last, he finds himself content with the feeling of being free.
Your hands traverse over his shoulders and your eyes dance around his features as something serene washes over Izanaâs face. His worries melt away, slowly, gradually, but finally. He breathes into you, hushed and quiet whispers, declarations of emotions he hadnât felt in ages, and with every proclamation your heels dig deeper into the divots of his back and drive him further and further into you until heâs forced into a slow grind, no allowance to pull back any further. He stirs inside you, head pushed up against soft, ridged areas that prompt you to lock around him, pull him close until his arms buckle and he falls to his elbows. His eyes stay on you, never once daring to move, even as tears drop from long lashes onto your cheeks.
âDonât leave me.â He weeps into your mouth, bitter word leaving a bitter taste on both your tongues that youâre quick to replace.
âNever.â You swear, nails digging into his freckled back. âNever, I could never.â
Your eyes well along with his, the strongest of emotions building and building until it threatens to break. Izanaâs lip wobbles and he rolls deep into you. Slow, crackling ember, dying embers find your gentle saviorâs breeze breathing new life breathed into the fires of his loins, and his knees buckle, falling into the soft, ruined duvet below.
âPromise me,â he begs, facing his cliff and waiting to free fall once again into you. âPromise me you wonât go.â
Your throat tightens the more he pours into you. Your hands snake down his arms until fingers crawl beneath sweaty palms, pushing through the gaps between his fingers to curl around his hands. You nod, eyes full of wonder, of sorrow, of promise, of-
âI canât,â You swallow, tightening around him. âI canât go. I love you, Izana. I canât go.â
Thereâs something about your words. The sincerity, the truth, the purity behind them that pushes Izana over his edge. He crashes into you, body buckling, head burying into the crook of your neck and he lets himself go. You do, too, waves of lust and love crashing and mixing over each other, embers of his dying fire blown alive by your gentle winds once again. He crumbles and falls and finds his comfort in you.
cw: voyeurism, forced orgasm (as above), fem!reader, bottom!reader, minors DNI
âhow many can i pull out of you tonight, princess?â
benkeiâs rolling baritone is accentuated by the pat of his calloused palm onto your quivering pussy, and he rests the expanse of his hand there as he waits on your reply. just the warmth and pressure on your now over-sensitive clit seems to push you further off the cliff, but youâve already fallen off, possibly hours ago. tears in the corner of your eyes have long since dried up and youâve been in this particular position, curled up on your back on the bed and legs raised, possibly too long, vulnerable and exposed to too many eyes.
you havenât answered him. youâre at a loss for words.
âhmm? iâm waiting.â
benkei pats you again and you threaten to cum right there, but wakasaâs chuckle suddenly interrupts the two of you. heâs had a good time watching every part of your body shake as benkeiâs fucked you in more positions than he can count, passing on the opportunity to join in. but now, after rounds and rounds of moans and far too much stretching and cum, heâs now intrigued.
âlet me have a taste and weâll reassess.â
wakasa rises from his seat, backwards on a dining chair and chin rested on the back end and moves over to you with a gentle swagger. the spreader bar between your ankles exposes all of your drip to him; he swipes up across your slit with his index, sticks the finger in his mouth, then leans over to stick the same digit in your mouth, smiling as he watches you suck obediently.
âgonna cum again for us, right?â
you tearfully nod yes. even if youâd agreed to this, these sessions are hard but your safeword is always at the ready.
âperfect,â wakasa says, honey in his voice, before he unbuckles his own pants. his cock is hard and he fists it enthusiastically but decides to fall back for benkei to do what he does best.
a/n: I canât even explain what this is lmfao. anyway youâre mad at kisaki enough to end your relationship and you want him to pay.
cw:Â dark content â> cheating, guns, fuck or die energy, angst, minors DNI
itâs rare that Kisaki gets the rug pulled from under him.
itâs possibly because heâs usually the one on a very consistent offense, plotting and strategizing and contingency planning for many different scenarios, far more than you can think of. he has tons of priorities, of which you are very high on his list, and normally handles them with ease.
feelings are of little concern to him, he has taught himself to believe. a cool, steely logic is all that is useful to him, and heâs been a master of using this to drive his actions.Â
at least, up until now.
Kisaki considers that he should shoot you dead where you stand. or rather lay.
but instead, he smiles widely. the man whoâd eagerly gotten on top of you just moments before he entered your hotel room attempts to clamber off of your body just as quickly, but your legs tighten around him and you hold him close. you look Kisaki firmly in the eye the entire time. your glare at him doesnât waver. the truth is, at this point you donât care if you, the poor stranger youâve lured into your bed, or your partner, now looking at you with the devilâs expression, dies today. in fact, it might assure you that there was a point where he ever cared about you enough to kill.Â
Kisaki holds your gaze and the two of you attempt to read each other. the third party to this complex loverâs quarrel tries again to leave and Kisaki firmly barks an order.
âStay right the fuck where you are!â
his voice does raise, but does not crack by the end of his sentence. you smile widely, eyes gleaming, delighted at the fact that he is getting a rise out of this. heâs getting angry. kisaki is mad about something you did. you managed to hurt him.
âdo you want me to fuck him in front of you, sir?â you hiss. your voice, normally the sweetest thing to his ears, is thick with venom. âdo you want a show, Mr. Kisaki?â
Kisakiâs expression is somewhere between entertained and livid. he canât control the reddening of his features, even in the dim light, although heâd want to lie to you and pretend his heart isnât breaking at your cruelty.
Kisaki plays with the many rings on his fingers, letting his index and his thumb settle on his wedding band. he spins it a bit, hesitates, then pulls it off, placing the now meaningless piece of metal on the nightstand. the bare skin of the man on top of you has broken out into a cold, sticky sweat and his heart is pounding terribly hard against your chest. he can feel the rage emanating from Kisakiâs very being, even if Kisaki is trying desperately to control his emotions. he knows that heâs very close to his last moments. You can feel him softening against you.
Kisaki pulls out a gun from his back pocket and twirls it in his hand as one would a pen. the man freezes, and even your heart skips a beat for a moment⌠but you know your Kisaki would never⌠would he?Â
Kisaki points the barrel of the gun at the manâs head and even you gasp. an even colder sweat breaks out on the manâs temples in large droplets and he starts to beg under his breath but Kisaki wants to hear nothing.
âyou better fucking enjoy it,â he hisses. âMove.â
cw: jailbird!izana x psychologist!reader, not sfw at the end, unsafe healthcare practices, suicide mention, corruption (emotional)
(4.1k words)
a/n: this is a work of f i c t i o n. please!!! also tenjiku lasted into the bonten arc in this fic so izana is older (20s)
The click of your heels is far too loud as you make your way down an endless hallway. There is a slight echo with each pace that bounces off these terribly plain and white walls and for a moment, you are concerned that youâre drawing far too much attention to yourself. Neither the footsteps of your supervisor nor the security officer who is leading you down to your next clientâs room make a sound as they move.
Under your breath, you practice the inmateâs name. Izana Kurokawa. Izana. The picture of his face youâd examined along with his chart is before your mindâs eye, and you remember the indecipherable but alarming look he gave the camera. A psychological evaluation seems long overdue, and the fact that you will be the first to do it brings a slight chill to your spine.
Itâs not that you havenât worked with the extremely manipulative, extremely violent or otherwise before, but something behind Izanaâs eyes is unsettling, and shines through even on printed paper.Â
Heâs different and youâre anxious to know why, if not a little bit afraid.
The three of you finally stop right before a heavy steel door, and the dutiful security guard - Mr. Takeda, you recall - moves ahead to undo a series of locks before drawing the door back. Thereâs a heavy clang as it settles and just once, your heart beats especially hard.Â
âMrs.,â - he stops abruptly then corrects himself once you turn your attention to him, an eyebrow slightly raised - âDr. ___, I just wanted to remind you that there is a panic button attached to your clipboard just in case you need help, although we respect your privacy during this session. There are cameras on standby that can be turned on in case there is a concern.â
You nod. It seems like a lot of fanfare for one single man but he was once the head of Tenjiku, one of the most dangerous gangs in Tokyo at the time of his arrest a couple months ago, and still to this day. This group was known to operate so smoothly, leader present or not, that one may think he is still somehow calling the shots from behind the walls of a maximum security prison.Â
This feeling of absolute authority is palpable once you sit down across from him, finally meeting face to face. He beats you to the first word.
âGood morning,â he says before you can speak. His eyes are wide but do not seem to study you as one normally does when sizing up a new adversary. He looks through you as though heâs already won a million times over.
Summary:Â Izana is scared of being yours but you have always been his.
A/N: This is angsty but fluffy at the end again. Yes, I crimed Ran a bit again and no, I am not sorry for him.
Your lips met the cold glass in your hands, leaving a red lip mark before returning it to the table, taking a sip from his drink. You let out a laugh, eyes staring into violet eyes but as Ran spoke, your mind was somewhere else. As your colleague put his arm behind your chair, his hand against your bare back, you knew that it wouldnât take long before the one you truly desired manifested, and you were right.
Turning your head slightly, you caught Izanaâs orchid eyes staring right back at you. He was shameless, you thought, and you tried your best to hold in the laugh that threatened to erupt from your lips. While you hated playing games, Izana hadnât really given you any other choice. What else could you do when reasoning with him lead nowhere?
You started counting in your head. While he was known for being unpredictable, you were familiar with Izana enough to know his next course of action. As soon as you directed your attention back to Ran you felt a presence near the two of you. The violet-eyed man looked at him, a questioning look on his face, the conversation having died down. Before Ran could say a word, Izana was speaking, however.
"Letâs go," he said, staring at you.
The fury in his orchid eyes was evident but you werenât feeling compliant tonight even though all you wanted was to be his and him to be yours. It was already bold of you to flirt with Ran but you wanted to taunt him further. While Izana had no problems getting rid of anyone who got too close to you, getting rid of Ran, was not an option. As a Toman executive, he was valuable, after all.
"I donât want to go," you replied. "Canât you see Iâm busy, Iza?"
The man didnât say anything but you could tell his patience was running thin. His eyes landed on Ran, as if he was giving him a silent order. The man sighed and as much as he wanted to stay, he figured by now that he was just a pawn to you.
"Looks like you two have things to settle," he said. "I should go."
As anticipated you didnât stop Ran from leaving. All you truly cared about was Izanaâs attention and it hurt you to know he couldnât acknowledge that. You stood up from your chair walking past him as he angrily followed after you, grabbing your arm and pulling you back harshly.
"I donât want you to be near Ran," he told you irritated. "Do you understand?"
"Thatâs not up to you, Iza."
He knew but he couldnât help acting as if you belonged to him.
"Iâm sorry," he apologised referring to his latest outburst, eyes avoiding yours.
His grip was still firm on your arm though as if he were afraid you would leave.
"No, youâre not sorry. Because if you were then you simply wouldnât treat me this way."
How long had it been since he would alternate between I love you and I hate you? You werenât sure and to be quite honest you had already put up with his toxic behaviour for too long. Yet you couldnât help longing for him as he longed for you. In fact, you had no desire of letting go, for it would prove to him what he had been fearing, that you would discard him like the people he loves are used to doing. Regardless, this wasnât leading anywhere.
Even after you would hold Izana in your arms and he would fall asleep listening to your heartbeat, his doubts would take over him and he would leave you behind until he missed you too much to bear it. Then heâd be crying, your body hovering over his, kissing away his tears until he would calm down. This was the endless dance you two led but you could tell the two of you were worn out. Izana let go of your arm and you knew the meaning of this action, so you reached for him instead.
âThis doesnât mean I want you to leave,â you told him.
His orchid eyes found yours again and they hid so many emotions that it had your heart aching. Because you knew what Izana Kurokawa had been through and you knew that despite his sadistic and ruthless exterior he was just a man who missed his chance at a better life, like you. Although the reasons you were a Toman executive were different from his.
You pulled him out of the bar, leading the way until you were face to face in the streets, the music still way too loud. Then you figured speaking with your actions would be easier. So you kissed his lips, he kissed you back without hesitation. His arms slid around your waist and pulled you into him tightly. He was telling you that he needed you and the desperation he felt, you shared it with him.
Couldnât he tell? He clearly couldnât and it broke your heart but you would spend a lifetime reminding him if he desired. You pulled away slightly, already missing the taste of him on your tongue. You kissed his jaw slowly and there was a tenderness in the way you treated him that he knew he had to stop ignoring. Your nose brushed against his. And soon your lips were against his, again.
Izana couldnât understand how he failed to shield himself from you but it was too late to think about this. He was so utterly yours that the idea of truly losing you made him nauseous and he hated it. He couldnât bear another heartbreak but it seemed as if he couldnât run away from your love either for he would come right back once he sensed you straying from him. Izana was constantly fighting the urge to cut you out of his life so he could escape and tying you down to him so you couldnât escape.
âKeep me in a cage if you want to,â you told him, breaking from the kiss slowly. âBut donât stop loving me.â
Izana couldnât try if he wanted to but what if you stopped loving him?
âIf I kept you in a cage, would it prevent you, from not loving me anymore?â he asked sincerely and you couldnât help chuckling.
He knew this was ridiculous. So he smiled but his doubts were overwhelming.
âNo, because Iâll always love you, cage or not,â you explained, stroking his face. âBut would keeping you in a cage prevent you from ever leaving me?â
Izana laughed.
âLogically yeah but cage or not, I would never leave you.â
âOh yeah?â you teased. âI mean you did leave me hanging more times than I would have liked.â
âThatâs different.â
âIs it?â
He stayed silent for a moment. Yes, it was but it was still unfair to you.
âI always come back, donât I?â
âBut you could simply, stop leaving,â you explained with a sad smile. âHavenât you been testing me hard enough?â
Izana was about to answer but you had more to add.
âNot that Iâd stop chasing after you if you decide you still need to test me.â
Those words were said with such sincerity, Izana felt bad. If there was one thing he loved about you was how easily you bared yourself to him. You werenât scared of sharing your feelings, your thoughts, your dreams and your fears with him. Even when he proved to be much slower to give you anything in return.
âMaybe you should stop.â
The sadness in your eyes was displayed with such intensity he regretted his words as you looked away.
âI donât want to stop,â you said in a small voice.
âI donât understand why.â
âYou donât need to understand why,â you told Izana, holding his face with your cold hands. âYou just need to let me in.â
You were right. He smiled at you, adoration in his orchid eyes. Why was he so afraid? Why was he so afraid of you? You were reliable, loyal, patient and persistent. Everything Izana needed and everything he was being offered right now. All you asked for was for him to accept you but what if you changed your mind? What if you left? It was irrational, he knew, and this fear was preventing him from living.
Yet he could feel the temptation to risk it all grow inside him. Something he had never felt before. Not because he didnât care if he fell and you didnât catch him but because it was hard to believe you would let him fall. He stared at you in silence. You werenât his mother, you werenât his brother, no, you were his friend, his confidant and his lover.
âI think I already did,â he said, looking into your eyes.
You took a moment to process his words then frowned.
âWhat do you mean?â
Izana chuckled.
âI mean that Iâm all yours if youâre all mine.â
âWell, I was always yours,â you reminded him, with a smile before kissing his lips softly. âSo, no more running?â
âNo more running.â
You held each otherâs gaze for a moment, smiling. You didnât need to make him promise, you trusted Izana and you hoped he trusted you.
Summary:Â You chase after Izana and it's the first time someone ever does.
A/N: This is angsty but fluffy at the end.
Izana was terrifying when he was angry, you had just learned. Despite the screams and the fury in his orchid eyes, it wasnât enough to push you away though. You wondered for a moment if the reason he stood so far away from you was that there was a chance he could hurt you. This thought was quickly brushed away though as you were confident he would never lay a hand on you.
His love was suffocating though and there was a tightness around your throat that you couldnât ignore anymore. Izana was too much, too often. You were understanding, he didnât know security and comfort like you did but that wasnât enough to justify any of his actions. It wasnât enough to justify the possessiveness and the jealousy, the reproaches and doubts, the threats and the outbursts.
You were exhausted but it felt like Izana never saw your distress, too worried about the fear of losing again. You jumped at the sound of glass breaking and closed your eyes as he screamed about never wanting to see you again, knowing he would be calling you back the minute you left your apartment.
Sometimes you wondered if he even loved you but you figured the reason why he was so inconsistent was specifically because he did. This time your patience was running thin however and Izana might have not known yet but your voice could be stronger than his. You screamed back at him, unable to ignore his accusations anymore but none of you wanted to back down. You werenât even sure he understood what you were saying as you threw words at each other.
âIf all this is true then just fucking leave, Izana,â you said, voice finally overpowering his. âAnd never come back.â
You had heard those words from him too many times but he had heard them from you for the first time tonight. He fell silent suddenly and the contrast with the screaming from seconds ago was so loud you wondered if you should worry. Izana stood still, his orchid eyes starring at nothing. You took a step forward and he remained unmoving.
Was that it? Was it over this time? Did Izana finally reach your limit? All these questions haunted him. Then he was overwhelmed by fear, his throat tightened and he felt like air couldnât reach his lungs anymore.
They hate you.
Who would want you?
Youâre a monster.
How could anyone ever love you?
They will always leave you.
Fresh tears ran down Izanaâs cheeks and he couldnât handle meeting your eyes before making up his mind. He needed to disappear. This was what you wanted, after all. He didnât say a word, walking past the front door. You watched him for a few seconds but you knew better than to just let him go. You followed after him, calling out his name. You had made a mistake, you shouldnât have said that but he was so stubborn.
Izana ignored you as you kept asking him to slow down and listen. When your hand reached his arm and you pulled him back though, he didnât try to fight back. You stood in front of him, holding him in place as tightly as you could. His eyes were puffy and red from all the crying and you were pretty sure yours looked the same.
âIâm sorry,â you told him sincerely. âI didnât mean what I said.â
âDonât apologise.â
Why would you even apologise? It was all his fault.
âPlease donât leave,â you begged.
Izana stayed silent for a moment, his gaze avoiding you again. So your hands moved to his face, forcing him to look at you.
âIâm not going to leave you. So donât leave me, Izana.â
You could feel his tears running down your fingers and knuckles.
âNo matter how many times you tell me to, I wonât do it,â you continued, wiping off his tears with your thumbs, gently. âDo you understand?â
âYou said-â
âI didnât mean what I said,â you protested, cutting him off. âDid you mean everything you told me?â
Of course not, Izana loved you more than anything. He didnât hate you and he didnât want you to leave either.
âNo,â he answered, in a small voice, sounding almost like a child.
âIâm tired of fighting, Iza.â
He was tired too but it felt like it was never-ending.
âCan we stop fighting?â
He nodded and you smiled. You knew this wasnât enough and this would happen again but as long as you were alive Izana Kurokawa would never be lonely and unloved.
âI know itâs scary,â you told him. âAnd youâre worried but nothing you say is going to push me away. So donât be afraid when it gets difficult.â
âWhat if it gets too difficult, for you?â
âToo difficult? Thereâs no such thing,â you reassured him. âIâll just work harder, for us.â
Izana would too. You were the first person who chased after him after all, this couldnât mean nothing, he realised, even if it was for a short moment. He gave you a small smile and you took it as your victory for the day. He followed you back to your apartment, thinking about how you prevented him to leave. All of this was so new, he was having trouble adapting but you were so patient. He couldnât disappoint you.
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