Tony: got a resume from this highschool kid named Peter about the stark internship⦠under special interests he just wrote ābreakfastā
Tony: Iām interviewing him next week
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@spid3rboy
Tony: got a resume from this highschool kid named Peter about the stark internship⦠under special interests he just wrote ābreakfastā
Tony: Iām interviewing him next week
*walk slowly to harley*
Peter: *softly* hey, I have something to tell you
Harley: *confuse* okay, what?
Peter: dad love me MORE thn you *runaway*
Harley: *about to reach the hammer on the table and see tony*
Tony: I saw everything you knwā¦ā¦
Harley: and you let it happens⦠*chase after peter* COME HERE PARKER
Peter: *shrieking*
Tony:
feeds angels communion bread like iām an old person on a park bench throwing crumbs to birds
guardian angels watching over us but theyāre perched on a power line
horrific biblical angel but when they sit down they become round and cute like a fat fluffy bird
Like⦠this?
Restfulā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
Let Superheros wear helmets 2018
Look at this
These assholes are completely human
Look at this dumb fucking toaster. I know you can be stabbed, Vision! Put on a helmet! You have a useless cape, but no helmet!
You were a neurosurgeon, Stephen! You know how serious head injuries are!
YOU HAD A HELMET IN THE PREVIOUS MOVIES, STEVE! Did TāChalla seriously give this dumb fuck two shields but no helmet, or is he just that reckless?
WHAT THE HELL, TāCHALLA! WHY DOESNāT ANYONE IN YOUR COUNTRY HAVE A HELMET!
TāChalla, wHY ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE WITH A HELMET?! WHATāS YOUR GAME, TāCHALLA? WHY WONāT YOU GIVE THEM HELMETS?!
ANSWER ME, GODDAMIT!
I love how you put Shuri first
Itās full-circle. Revolutionary. Bookended.
I mean even Grandmaster knew to put one on Hulk. Y'all are just dumb fucks.
JESUS TAP-DANCING CHRIST
ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS??
Did Tony write this? He sure wears a helmet.
LOOK AT IT
ARE YOU DOING THIS OUT OF SPITE, MARVEL?!?! LOOK AT HIM! HE HAS A WHOLE VIBRANIUM OUTFIT, WINGS, AND A SHIELD, BUT NOTHING TO PROTECT HIS HEAD! HE DOESNāT EVEN HAVE THE SUPER SOLDIER SERUM! THAT IS A HUMAN SKULL! SHORTEST CAPTAIN AMERICA REIGN EVER BECAUSE HIS HEAD IS GONNA GET BUSTED GOING THROUGH ONE OF THOSE THEM GLASS WINDOWS, YOU MOTHERF-
Pepper: So, have you two decided on a song for your first dance as husbands?
Tony: Well, Stephen wants something really romantic. Like, āWhen I Look Into Your Eyesā by Firehouse kind of thing.
Pepper: [sighs] And let me guess, you want...
[meanwhile]
Stephen: [exasperated] Who the HELL wants to dance to AC/DC at their WEDDING??
Wong: Hey, youāre the one who said you wanted to marry him.
Tony: Whereās Morgan?
Nebula: Doing stuff.
Tony: I donāt like the sound of that. Whereās Peter?
Nebula: Trying to stop Morgan from doing the stuff.
Tony: What? Then whereās Harley?
Nebula: Trying to stop Peter from stopping Morgan from doing the stuff.
Tony: And what are you doing?
Nebula: Stopping you from stoping Harley from stopping Peter from stopping Morgan from doing the stuff.
Welpā¦
the song
Future me and my kid watching Infinity War:
Kid: Wait, did they really just die!? Mom quick, letās watch Endgame now!
Me: No.
Kid: What? What do you mea-
Me: You must wait a year.
Kid: But I see it right there, letās just-
Me through tears: YOU WILL WAIT A YEAR AND SUFFER AS YOUR ELDERS DID.
People honestly saying that war machine wouldāve been a better replacement for iron man while RDJ himself is literally like:
Extra:
WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME CRY ALL THE DAMN TIME
This is so important. Even when you feel unworthy of every single thing, you are still just as worthy as your highest potential.
SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOMEĀ dir. John WattsĀ
Tony Stark + thinking he failed to protect his loved ones
Tony Stark and his kids appreciation gifset.
Seriously, we must do something.
I canāt see into the future, Iām not a witch. No? Then why did you dress like one?