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@spilledinkquill
just be real
“It’s almost midnight. You should be asleep already.“ He said on the phone. “I don’t want to.” She said, “It’s the only time that I can be myself.” “What do you mean?“ "Everyone is asleep and no one can judge me.” She said through the line. “Well I’m awake.” He said. “But you don’t judge me.” She said, “You’re the only person I can trust in this part of town.”
Letter to the Narcissist
They witness what irradiates,
finding something else to blame.
To something that would create world of pain.
Never questioning why, what for? to the toxicity they spore.
Running to conclusion to ensure,
to avoid the flaws.
To which they derived,
by the symptoms they explored and the real cause they ignored.
Unable to place their hands up, to the mistakes they make and the way they only take.
Need to be commended for basic things they do.
When complexity starts, the leaning begins to spurting out sins.
Flabbergasting that they're so unaware what actions they bare, to those who anchored on your capsizing ship.
Unable to latch onto the disgusting phrases, as of course you can't do anything wrong.
The world has to sing you praises, wrap you up in its loving embrace.
But as soon as it makes the littlest of accidental mistakes, you irradiate a full blown earthquake.
Depicting oneself as victim, oh behold no one can react to the venom that you enact.
These people seeing past your masks, know its too late for you change from your past.
Still you like to point the blame, making those who truly care feel shame and your skilful manoeuvring of guilt.
For those who take a stand, holding a mirror to your face.
They burn and feel your wrath, spreading to their inside to fester over time.
A world of torment you unleash, but to your captives compassion and empathy they feel.
Seeing past the edges and the façade, knowing and sensing the ways you were scarred.
Those scars, destroying your life or anyone attained.
Inspiring others to run, now your beauty fades one by one company fades.
Others try to fight for the little light which was left inside, letting many years of their own lives pass by.
With you around, they flounder peace, opportunities and chance of a life they seek.
Not aware to the manipulative ensnare, how you've drained and tormented covertly with your natural flare.
They now know there is no hope, refusing you to continually keep taking their glow.
Finally taking flight, creating the most simulating, rewarding life.
Finding the person who truly lives inside, not the one who nurtured and co-dependently gave up her life.
Now the last loyal person can't standby, to the destruction that you blow and clean up the viscous shows.
She understands and knows your distance past, but knows its no excuse to be inflicting that level of abuse.
As life is to grow, to slowly flow away from the pain and strife.
Consideration and reflecting on the way you act, to protect those you love and not to react.
So on my way I go, goodbye and sympathy for the misfortunes you reproduce.
Obtuse and lonely you'll remain, sadly until your dying day.
As those who chose to stay, keep distanced from your terrain.
No longer letting you rain down shame, manipulation and guilt.
Only accepting to be hit by a light spray, these are the reasons no one will stay, living with you each day.
At this point in life there is little chance of change, but for your sake let this entitlement fade and your destructive mind frame.
It is too late, as your emotional state sees nothing or understands the inflictions you partake
My best friend ever
No more an unknown stranger
Making epic memories together
Being upright citizens, never
We are proud, incontrol.
Making everyone our minions
Thieves, hoes, and snitches will feel our iron brand
Unspoken rules and living by our own code they just understand
You always make me smile,even when I'm mad
I got your shoulder, at time it was all I had
You own the gift of perception
Faking a emotion is not an exception
I want to say thank-you
Happy moments were just a few
My emotions you skillfully hack
Like a brave knight I guard your backside
Haters tasting deserving cyanide
Cops always trying to catch us
While we sit and smoke, gearing up for another great escape..They will never catch us.
Chemicals never letting us rest
Keeping it 100 we rate we ourselves best
We don't know how to loose
And we only like what we choose
you are my sanitys hero
Being loyal,solid,and kind,you're a proven pro
You're one of a kind
You'll be in my heart,my love you'll always find
My father once said, " I don't have all the answers to everything. No one does. I sure wish I did, things would be so differnt for me and even you. But I just don't and that is apart of life, finding an answer." I found myself unnevered that my father didn't even seem curious about the answer I was in search for. Frusterated I sat looking at him. I noticed the lines that formed at the cornners of his eyes. I felt a hint of guilt for my harsh approuch. His familuar gaze now gone, his eyes afixed on the flames in the fire. I could always tell when my father was thinking due to his "thinking stare". I have grown to know that he was about to share some information with me that I may not understand at the moment, but would leave me thinking about it long after the conversation had ended.When he spoke again he said " but let me tell you sis sometimes its not the answers that are the important
part" he paused and looked at me and then back at the fire. I couldnt help thinking to myself. Well if an answer is what your looking for than how can it not be the most important?? As if he read my mind he plainly stated " it's how you look at things". Now more confused than when I started I mearly nodded. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out a dip and placed it in his lower lip then wiped his fingure on his pant leg. " perspective. Try changing your perspective" His statment lingured. I thought about it for a moment. A smile grew on my face. My thought sounded to me like something my mother would say. "what sence does that make? You cant just change the question becauses you can't find the answer. You may already know the answer, you just choose not to see it because you dont like it. Doesnt change it! Its still the answer." Perhaps caught off guard by my childish grin and fidgety demeaner in such a weighted conversation. He glared at me and ask "whats so damn funny" Trying hard not to laugh due to the advice of my mother and personly knowing it is highly not recommended. I held my composure and muttered "nothing I guess." My father turned and walked away in his slow but strong and steady gait. Simpleton is the only word I heard when it occured to me what he may have been thinking.
Songs you’ve never heard
Seems like the roads I never took.
A person doesn’t have to only drain u with arguments and fights. They can drain u with lack of communication, lack of trust, lack of empathy, lack of apologizing, lack of acknowledgment and lack of fulfilling your love language. Know the red flags
When someone reaches out to me, I often try to be there for them. I understand they’re looking for someone who will patiently hear them, maybe even guide them. So I listen. I sit through the entire conversation, nodding along, truly empathizing with their emotions. These are often the heaviest conversations, deep and reflective, sometimes drifting into philosophical territory. One thought flows into the next, like a gentle river slipping over boulders, carrying us through their tangled feelings. It feels like we’re on a journey together, only to realize, in the end, that I was walking it alone
Because the truth is, they’re not looking for advice. They’re looking for validation. The only words they want to hear are the ones they want to listen to. The only thoughts that make sense are the ones they think are right. It doesn’t matter what I have to say because their mind was made up long before the conversation even began. They don’t want new perspectives; they want someone to agree with the one they already have.
No matter how many times I listen, no matter how many times I speak, it often feels like my time and words go unappreciated. They approach the conversation with a closed mind, unwilling to entertain any contrary ideas. And yet, I keep listening. I keep engaging, quietly hoping that one day, they’ll actually hear what I have to say
It took me a long time to understand that people will believe only what they want to believe. It’s not my place to change them. We can offer them the warmth of our comfort, and at times, the harshness of the truth. But whether they accept it or not, that’s entirely up to them. We can light the way for them, like a torch illuminating the path ahead, but the choice to walk down it is theirs alone.
It's not your responsibility to correct the version of you in people's minds and make sure they understand you. People can only understand you from their level of perception. Maturity is living a private life others don't understand without explaining yourself to them.
Crazy how peaceful life becomes when you stop fixing things you didn't break because it's not your job, start ignoring the silent treatment because it's an uncommunicated one-sided beef, and start doing what's best for you and disappoint people's undiscussed expectations of you.
A person doesn’t have to only drain u with arguments and fights. They can drain u with lack of communication, lack of trust, lack of empathy, lack of apologizing, lack of acknowledgment and lack of fulfilling your love language. Know the red flags
“I think one of my favorite feelings is laughing with someone and realizing half way through how much you enjoy their existence.”
— Unknown
Intimacy is not just about sex. It's having heart-to-hearts, staying up all night talking, sharing childhood memories, thoughts, fears, dreams & hopes for the future. It's uncontrollable laughter, direct eye contact and feeling each other without touching - it's exchanging energy
“Fall in love with the person who enjoys your madness, not an idiot who forces you to be normal.”
— Unknown
Date someone who naturally brings out your inner child, makes you laugh, never stops flirting with you, and loves you a little extra on the days you don't feel so loveable.
I'm a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I'm lazy yet I'm ambitious. I don't like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don't care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I'm a conflicted contradiction. If I can't figure myself out, there's no way anyone else has.
