SPN Impressions

Impressions from SPN with a focus on Destiel.

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I'm sorry, Gaga, I love your social media accounts but what in the actual hell are those descriptions 🤣 Why does Hua Yong keep 'mistaking' Sheng Shaoyou for an Omega? Why is he a she? Also, if Wenlang actually discovered that Gao Tu is an Omega in E9, how much happier we would all be.

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I re-watched E16 and it's so much better than I felt it was the first time? IDK how it works. The second part is still clearly rushed, and I wish they'd given the second couple at least a short talk, but all in all, it was still a very good episode with so many delicious things happening - for both couples. I'm much happier about it today, but still hate the thought of it ending! My most favorite BL for sure right now.

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Okay, I love the finale, it's impossible for me not to love anything related to Desire, but this specific episode is so rushed :( Not just in terms of Gau Tu and Wenlang, but in terms of everyone. One second Mr. Sheng is dying and Hua Yong is saying the most endearing crazy things, the next second their child is already 3?? Sheng's father and his friends learn of Hua's identity and barely have time to react when the scene is cut? Noooo :( This episode should have been at least an hour and a half long. I need more.

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E13 of S7: Sam: “You know what? Bobby was right. Your head's not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now...”

And so Dean’s heartbreak and depression over Cas’ death continue, enhanced by Bobby’s death. It’s in everything in this episode, from how Dean calls his night of sex awesome but mentions that he feels terrible; how he states he’s not ready for romantic committment but looks wistful instead of scoffing. Cas is there even when he’s absent. 

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E12 of S7: Dean: "But they just seem to keep dying. To tell you the truth, I don't know why I'm doing much of anything anymore."

I love vulnerable Dean, but I hate when his vulnerability is thrown in his face. How different his life might have been if someone reassured him instead of mocking him. Or if he risked talking openly to Cas.

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E11 of S7: Dean: "Your daughter's 14 years old. She's already a hunter with a-a kill under her belt. I'm not trying to be a dick, but what do you think that does to her life span? She could still be a regular kid.” 

It’s sad how a part of Dean understands how wrong and despicable John was as a father, but another part is forever doomed to protect and justify his choices. Or maybe it’s the problem with writing, with one team being fans of John and another team disliking him because I’d hope Dean would be able to make some solid conclusions after so many years. 

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E9-10 of S7: Dean: “Are you kidding? I'm fine! I -- I actually feel great. The best I've felt in a couple months. Cas? Black goo? I don't even care anymore. And you know what's even better? I don't care that I don't care."

I love when something affects Dean and makes him talk about his feelings. Everyone kept commenting on how sad he looks in the previous episodes, and here it is, the verbally stated reason. Cas and his death are a constant source of pain Dean can’t shake off to the point where drugged oblivion feels like salvation. 

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E8 of S7: Waiteress: "You came in here looking like somebody shot your puppy."

We can start a game counting how many times people comment on Dean’s heartbreak over Cas in S7. 

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E7 of S7: Psychic to Dean: “She wants to tell you – pardon me – if you don't tell someone how bad it really is, she'll kick your ass from beyond. You have to trust someone again eventually.”

The line of Dean’s heartbreak over Cas, including all the conflicting feelings of anger, grief, pain, and betrayal, is going strong in S7. And it’s so lengthy, too - like Dean himself will say later, usually, he can get over anything. Time passes and he starts feeling better. But not this time, not with Cas. I wonder why. 

...Actually, I don’t. 

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E6 of S7: Dean insisting on Sam leaving a romantic song on and singing along. And - who would have thought! - this song is about love and loss. 

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you I know you were right believing for so long I'm all out of love, what am I without you? I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong I want you to come back and carry me home Away from these long, lonely nights

There's no easy way, it gets harder each day Please love me or I'll be gone

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E4-5 of S7: I love S7 for the thin and subtle line of Dean’s heartbreak that goes on up until Castiel’s eventual return. it’s a nightmare where he’s dreaming of Cas first, losing him all over again; it’s the passionate speech he gives to two fucked up people in love: 

Dean: Look – obviously, you two are capable of wiping each other out, right? But you haven't, huh? Which means that you two – you still value whatever it is you got. A-and you want keep that dance going. Maybe it's – maybe it's punishment. Maybe it's – it's sick, messed-up, erotic, kinky, clamps and feathers kind of love. 

No one but Cas fits this description and explains the rawness of Dean’s voice. 

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E4 of S7: 

Bartender: Love life or job? 

Dean: Well, Mia, that is a complex question. 

Unless it’s about Castiel, who’s been shown to be on Dean’s mind, there is no reason for this line. So yes, Castiel it is. 

Also, gotta love how Dean steadies himself before sleeping with a woman and how he actually tries to talk himself into it. 

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E3 of S7: Dean is watching a soap opera where a woman screams over her dead beloved who committed suicide, begging him to wake up. He’s watching it with such genuine emotion - I think the parallel is amazing here. Dean relates to what is happening on screen because he’s just lost Castiel, who, in a way, also committed suicide.

From the script: "DEAN looks very moved at what has happened on the screen."

Bobby to Dean: Well, this ought to cheer you up.   

Everyone knows, from writers to Bobby to us. 

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E2 of S7: Dean touches the trench-coat so  desperately, with such feeling, almost clutches it. So sweet and sad, and a big contrast from how he reacted when Cas died in S5. S6 has really changed things a lot. 

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E1 of S7.

Dean (to Death about Cas): Just kill him now! 

Dean later in the same episode, over dead Cas, with hope and fear: Maybe angels don't need to breathe?

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E1 of S7: Cas: You've erased any nostalgia I had for you, Dean.

This is such an underrated phrase. I can’t even wrap my head around it because it’s literally coming from God. Overpowered, detached, large entity that swallowed even the angel Castiel was to a big extent. And still, something remained: nostalgia and longing for Dean. It lessened only after Dean betrayed him, in Godstiel’s understanding. The fact that they were present and Godstiel bothered to speak about it proves just how incredibly strong Cas’ feeling for Dean are.  

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E22 of S6: Cas: “I don't care what you think.”

Dean looks briefly stunned, like he still expects to matter most to Cas even after he rejected him. 

But also, interesting how Cas kills Balthazar while still in his right mind but not Dean even despite his betrayal.