Jamal's Random Box of Fun

Take a Detour into My Random Box of Fun. At first sight, you'll notice that many of the adventures being told are indescribable and unheard of. But then, you'll later realize how much you could relate to these stories.... well, not mine at least but you get what i am saying☻ Instagram: Jamal_cx ~ Facebook Fan page: spokenwithwords ~ Other Tumblr Page: nonchalantnerd.tumblr.com

[nonchalantnerd]

Road to Greatness: Street Fighter 5 ep. 1| demonShoota @jamal_haki

[spokenwithwords]

My Nigga

[spokenwithwords]

Working on another book... it’s gonna be called  “Her Lullaby” stay tuned for more work to come this year...

[spokenwithwords]

Interlude 20

Where ever my legs go, I go...

Where ever my arms go, I go...

Where ever my feet go, I go...

Where ever my hands go, I go...

Where ever my heart goes, I go...

Where ever my brain goes, I go...

But where ever my mind goes, I don't go...

I am not a reflection of thoughts but merely

A fraction of what I think because you have to

Understand that although I may think wrongly

My intentions mean greatly~

Forgive my mind for childish thoughts

But I can't sway myself away from wondrous thinking...

This is "truth" fed to you through a wondrous mind

And although I am not a reflection of my mind

I still do take responsibility for it...

This is life~

This is a kickstarter for the better~

This is...Me~

[spokenwithwords]

Resolution ☻

I find solace in the search of a soulmate~

Although tedious, I can't help but look for

A piece of Ash from a Cremation, dispersed across the ocean

As if it knows me~

I find solace behind the computer screen~

Although it has a mind of its own,

At night, it can have ways to lead my

Hands to make a man unfaithful~

TV's the same, providing programs on different stations,

Broadcasting VeggieTales in the morning,

But pass nine, it's x-rated~

Ratings that we have no control over

But we control the remote,

So we are like the hands of God and

With each click, we're giving a new world order~

Parental Control at its highest power couldn't

Hold a torch to a kids imagination,

So we use the remote as light to give guidance to our imagination~

But I'm still in search of a soulmate~

These daily routine check ups in hopes to find that show,

Clicking through tunes to conspire an idea of what I want;

This searching just leaves my fingers hurting

But my eyes are always looking...

I make spectacle of “this” because we use eyes to watch “this”

While eyes watch recording devices display them on “this”

And I'm attracted to it~

A fan to it~

20 years a slave to it~

The “reality” behind it intrigues me and she knows it...

Only a wide eye with an open mind can subside

The absence of your presence,

Let coincidences align for the night,

Cause what we have is pure astronomy~

And you don't have to be on ABC to be dancing with the stars;

Let's be modern marvels and moonwalk on fantasies,

We can take back the night through rewind like features

And constantly replay this feeling,

Fast-forward pass rocky moments

But hit pause to savior the romantic ones,

With the upcoming days showing rerun

Specials through various hours~

This might sound heartless for me to say this,

But I wouldn't be surprise if I were to wake up

The next morning and find out my show is canceled...

The trick to “this” displayed reality is that

It is built off of a false pretense version of our daily lives;

Sculpted to fit the vision of the viewers watching~

To have your biggest fan not defend you is a problem

But to say that I don't need you, I'd be lying...

I control the remote but you give me oxygen

Which sucks because I'm going to have to

Find an artificial way of breathing or die searching...

When these security codes begin to block our

Paths from crossing one another, we'll

see how desperately we need each other,

But if only one of us is searching then

That just shows how insecure the mind goes

When ya eyes are blindfolded...

I am no longer a man behind a remote making choices,

I am the light giving guidance to imagination;

The choices I make is simply to conspire ideas

But I am still in search of a soulmate~

[spokenwithwords]

Untitled Over 9000

Oh nooooooooo.....

The trouble maker is back!

I got you all some Coool-smooth-catdaddy like spoken word

Pieces to share with you all but before that, Let me take a SELFIE!!!!

[Currently working hard on writing and by working hard, I mean starring at the wall until the paint bleeds words to use poetically]

[spokenwithwords]

Our Song ☻

Fallen victim to a broken-heart is the mind

Creating lies - causing a lack of trust,

Slowly back pedaling from open to solitude

Because you find solace in only being able

To use one eye to view the world through a peep hole~

The truth could set you free but you can't hear the truth

Because there's this mental blockage from outside knowledge,

If I could manage to relay this message enough

In time, you'll began to comprehend what

Lengths I'm willing to stretch out to reach just your hand~

If Love is a figment of your imagination, then a single

Glance should cause a collision of galaxies - making

The falling stars you wish to just mere atoms in comparison~

The funny thing is that I can't tell you "I Love You"

Because you heard that phrase to much;

I'd be robbing you of your worth if used,

But to say that you're a walking bodily soul

Silently going unnoticed until recognition is bestowed upon you

Seems fairly close...

It seems that "I" have taken notice...

It is simply that I yearn for you~

[spokenwithwords]

Haiku 9

Honors your thoughts but

Laughs at Sensitivity,

Hypercritical...

[spokenwithwords]

Haiku 22

"Let us be humble

Maximizing our Patience

While Gathering Peace"

[spokenwithwords]

Interlude 69

Take your two loves for the world and combine their energy

In hopes to offset a ripple of sound waves heard by one another,

Two separate ideas formed to make one entity,

A Bond held tight by the Ears to Hear, Eyes to See, and the Mind to Think,

And if you listen close enough, you'll begin to hear a Heartbeat~

Inch forward and watch as your hands begin to vibrate from the pulse~

The Breath of Life swimming its way down the throats of inanimate objects.

Today's objective was to watch our eyes pass judgement on what we touch

But what we touch is a mere object - slowly sucking life and wisdom

Turning ourselves into the "object" as we hold onto the "subject",

Perspectives constantly changing the longer you look at "it"

[spokenwithwords]

Interlude 82

Life's wonders leave you wondering,

While the mysteries are a misfit,

Coincidence relies on the mind of the perspective

But the blind uses thoughts as visions~

Miscarried guidance viewed through optical vision,

Birthed lies relayed through messages that's carried by the wind,

Feeding infants your leftovers as streams of

Freshness blows pass its face,

Fixation towards destruction but walks the path of blissfulness

Because we didn't grow up like this...

We were born this way~

[spokenwithwords]

Welcome, Welcome....

Yeah, I feel bad that I haven't been using this lately~

But I will start using this account as of today ;)

[spokenwithwords]

Just a Little Taste ☻

It's a dynamic duo

A force to be reckon with

Chemically bonded because physical means couldn't break this

Attraction towards the opposite,

Drawn together because of the qualities, but the positive out weighs the negative?

But I just gotta keep my Ion...

You caused movements, you made shifts - tectonic if you ask me

But I couldn't keep up

There were too many obstacles.

Deep crevices in the way

Thunder storms and rain

Those few delicate moments that caused each of us pain,

Un-fillable space between us?

Or was it just those few words I forgot to say?

Despite my actions, my love was greater

Yet your question is still left unanswered..."where's a real man when you need one?"

My pride and my ego screamed the words, "I'm right here baby"

But my mind left a rhetorical remark...

"How to be a man in a relationship with a woman"

Roses are red

But THIS flower just seems so different

Caged in within its fences

I'm grass on the other side but being greener isn't the image

I'm basic.

Come, come closer...

Allow me to provide slow strokes to your petals

Let my words be the light plastered within your membrane

As I tell you that I can provide:

A view that is high

Water when it's dry

Graceful wind passing by

The sun with a little bit of shade on the side

As we lie,

Come, come closer...

Let my eyes stare you down

As I try to figure out ways to

Disengage and break down your cell wall,

Your cillia is silly to provide protection

But the true essence is your taste

Oh, how I love the sweet taste of your pollen!

And is it crazy that my stigma and roots are throbbing

From non-stop thoughts of you?

Perfection at its finest

But with that phrase, you claimed that we were all the same

Using sayings like "baby I just want to be your friend first"

When really, they just want to de-flower you.

Listen to my signals,

Ambiance of everlasting green

The light gives me energy but your light gives opportunity,

This smooth wind thrust our bodies closer...

"I bet you never had a man that could sweep you off of your feet"?

I was once a broken man but my love can exceed pass talking and mentally thinking...

Watch my eyes draw focus as I pull closer

Allow my lips to be receptors and also send messages to your mind

Let my hands work magic as I touch each smooth surface of you and caress your body

Allow our hearts to be one of the few sounds being made

As it beats to the sound of a Humming Bird

Let your emotions run wild as I send cold chills down your spine

And give you goosebumps,

Even just the simple swift motion of pushing your hair back... you like that?

It's impossible to fight this feeling,

That rush of sensation that heightened your sixth sense

Your sixth sense is love, but how deep have you fallen?

Was it the magical moments being made or was it

Just those few words I remembered to say?

The funny thing is that my love is still greater,

But you just only received a little taste...

[spokenwithwords]

The Games we Play ☻

It was a beautiful start to an unexpected ending,

In this realm, obstacles are thrown that we must overcome;

Power through in order to complete the mission.

These missions were taken on alone or as a team,

Taking on missions as a team was my favorite because it was just you and I,

It was a love-hate relationship that presented strange situations,

One minute, you are so close to me as if you seem to can't let go,

And the next minute, you are pressing all my

Buttons and throwing off my configurations,

But us together was an unstoppable unit,

You were like the glue and I made things fit,

We both gave each other a boost when needed,

But our relationship was still unknown,

So that left me clueless.

It's weird because our hands and mind provided a combination like none other,

When you were in trouble, I saved you,

After every mission, you'd kiss me and tell me to never leave your side,

But this persona I'm witnessing is different after the mission

Because during the mission, you get intense,

When things don't go your way, you throw hissy-fits,

The main objective goes missing

And the task on your agenda is hidden,

Your true feelings start to fade and lies become of reason,

You wear this magic cloak over you to keep me away from the truth,

But you can shoot me down but this vest that I am wearing is bulletproof,

You can spit fire at me but I carry a sword and shield too,

And these barrels you are throwing, I'll jump over every single

One just to get closer to you,

But you make things difficult by not believing,

It's all fun and games until one person gets serious,

But two could play at this game,

So a game was what I presented.

I give you my hand,

Filled with options for you to pick.

If my hand was full of trust,

Would you have the power to open it?

Just hoping by some mere chance

That you'd understand the opportunities that this could lead for both of us,

Yet if my hand was full of lust,

That same power becomes a must,

Leaving all space for play and no room for trust,

By the way it seems, you trust lust but not us,

Just the time spent to use two tokens to play into this moment,

But when it all ends, I question you...

Which is your option?

Did you ever have the power to open my hand when it was full of trust?

Or was the moment that you were playing into pertaining to lust?

I'd free-fall off a cliff with an arrow pointing down,

Indicating that you are at the bottom of it because I know that you'll catch me,

Half way through, I realized that you're not there,

And the closer I get, the further away you get from me,

This drop, I could survive even if you didn't catch me

Because having you there by my side would give me life,

But you walking further away from me only makes me half the man I am,

So this drop, I won't survive,

My life is gone but with you back, it could replenish it,

Until then, without you, I'm finished

[spokenwithwords]

Behind Closed Doors ☻

Last year... I made a promise to my mom that I wouldn't drink or smoke,

Last year, I made a promise to my mom that I wouldn't take a sip of liquor;

Get caught up in drugs, weed, and nicotine or anything that seemed fishy.

My life felt like an inescapable bubble;

Trapped inside and forced to rely on the resources around me,

Looking for things didn't come natural for me,

But I did it anyways.

My mind was having these constant flickering flashbacks of my mom

And it was almost impossible to stop them,

So I forced myself to think of something recent... My Bible.

I recently lost it and I had remembered that

My mom stored some in the basement,

This basement, looked like it hasn't been touched in years,

Old V.H.S. tapes, a record player, and just dust everywhere,

But there was this one cabinet that stood amongst the rest;

It was clean, somewhat vibrant, and had this feeling that sucked me towards it,

I tried to think of other places to look but my feet kept moving forward

And my eyes were un-shifted,

I opened the cabinet door and surely enough, a Bible was what I found

But liquor was in the mix,

God is on my side, but temptation was creeping in,

I tried not to think about it, but my godly presence had no defense,

I succumbed to the liquor, its taste had me fixed,

This bubble around me began to pop while these walls were caving in...

My mind was caving in...

I gave in...

I mentally built this prison around me

Because in this area, it was my space,

I physically kept people distanced

Because comfort wasn't what I needed;

Addiction was my inmate.

Every now and then, I would make occasional trips

To that cabinet in my basement because it had what I needed,

I would always have to move the Bible out the way just to get to my best friend,

This best friend of mine always showed me a good time,

Then eventually lead to other friends joining my cell,

This cell remained the same while this addiction became bigger,

Drugs became of use while still hooked to this liquor,

I CAN'T BELIEVE!

That I partied so hard, just to wake up to be stumbling on my feet,

My heart was aching, I dropped to my knees,

I'm screaming, "PLEASE GOD, SAVE ME!

This addiction is like a ball and a chain to me...

This mental prison has enslaved me;

I've fallen so DEEP!"

Last year, I made a promise to my mom that I couldn't even KEEP!

Addiction led to her death,

This temptation is deceiving,

I fell victim to addiction because my mind was weak,

Just that one little sip was all that was needed,

Which slowly led to other things,

And it's weird to think I was that judgmental person

That looked down upon others, saying things like, "that could never be me",

The truth is, it could...

The truth is, it was...

And the truth is, it happened,

You see, it HAPPENED, but NOW is not the issue,

And NOW is when I've made changes in my life.

My inescapable life was just this mental prison I built when my mom died,

I lost hope and faith,

My mind was left open for temptation to work its persuasion,

This prison had no guards because only I could free myself

Only I have the key to this cell,

But it is I that lack that power just to free myself.

I seek for God with my questions and for answers that I needed,

Praying and asking for blessings,

Begging for his forgiveness,

I screamed, "HELP ME!

RELEASE ME!

This prison has held me captive,"

I heard a whisper, "repentance for these sins; take responsibility for your actions",

"I REPENT! I REPENT!

Just allow me to BREAK FREE!",

So I did,

I went back to that cabinet, and a Bible was what I found,

That Bible was what I needed,

Using these daily scriptures just to ward away all that's evil,

I now possess the power to use this key to release myself from this prison,

Because I am now a free man.

[spokenwithwords]

Her Name was Love ☻

If I called you by your first name, "Love",

Would you still come?

Tangent thought but your answer still matters,

Witness two misfits with similar differences

But our moments are no different,

Just two human beings within six-inches

Yet, held down at opposite trenches,

The distances is distanced and distinct enough

To tell what we've been missing...

Each other.

But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It awakes, a fair haired beauty,

You are a stranger to my hands,

Present to my eyes

With an existence in my future,

Her name is Love because calling her anything else would

Distract from my true purpose,

It is I that awaits you...

Only I is suited for you...

And armored for you because diving in head first to

Protect my Love, ensures your safety,

If love is war, then I stand humbly prepped for a never-ending battle,

The sound that beats the drum...

Sends waves of everlasting gracefulness,

The hand that meets the drum...

Delivers soft touches; gentle and sweet,

The tongue that speaks of the drum...

Reminisces of the great moments that was shared,

The eyes that seek the drum...

Weeps for the feeling of being able to grasp you,

But you as a whole...

You are the drum.

Come to me...

Strapped around my body; held close just to use what we have as a weapon,

I is "I" and love is "Love"

But us together spells "I Love",

"I Love" us.

Let sound beat to the rhythm of our souls

All the way down to our soles,

For this ongoing battle is still our ongoing battle

While my sole purpose is still my Love's protection,

But the sound fell faint...

The graceful waves turned flat...

And your hands upon my body went limped,

Tiredness wasn't the issue, because within your

Eyes, there was this twitch...

Your body became cold and towards comfort

You started to flinch,

This fear was kicking in your head that death was near,

I screamed for help but my voice wasn't heard

Cause no presence was near!

She whispered, saying this was just her sickness,

I was relieved, but her next whisper she said,

"That this time it is different...

This sickness... I was born with it,

Doctors told me that death was inevitable but

the answer was what I was missing,

Even till this day, there is still no cure to fix this!"

She whispered her last word, "I..."

My sole purpose was protection but even I couldn't win this war,

The ongoing battle ended but our weapon will forever exist.

I is "I" and love is "Love"

But us together once spelled "I Love",

"I Love" us!

I Loved "Us"!

But I loathed what happened to "Us"...

[spokenwithwords]

Wounds Won't Heal [Reprise Version] ☻

I stack temples that are solid rock to the ground

Strong, bold, and mounded

Keep my emotions surrounded

At least until a tidal-wave knocks it down,

Formed stiff with the imprints of being slick, but if my wall falls then

I might just slip, into a pretty cynical game of human twister.

I'm stranded

Left vacant on an island deemed unworthy of touching,

Traumatized by what felt like an illusion,

My heighten stature form and obvious tone, but I feel like nothing,

I once felt like something... when you were here,

My light shined brighter like never before,

Enhanced view beyond the peak I once reached,

Overseer of this island and your entry was far from being seen

Yet your departure I did not see coming.

I say I'm lost, I say I lose...

In fact, I say I'm lost from losing what I had with you...

Love, Beauty, and Bond,

But the issues I battled within was a dormant volcano

And only seemed to erupt when my red alert triggered,

And that only lasted long enough until I got a kiss goodbye.

My Light faded from a beam into twitches and slowly down to flickering,

My walls changed into a transparent imagery of a

Glass menagerie and you shattered me,

In the reflection of the mirror

I saw our wedding picture but

You seemed to have shattered me,

And with the fallen broken glass,

Memories from the past,

You seemed to had of scattered them

Along with my still beating heart...

The heart that was left open to you and the possibilities that were achievable,

An invitation that invited you to come closer,

I said the heart was warm with a campfire and a tent,

I would provide whenever you needed and tell you any bedtime story,

But your mind was deluded.

You insisted on flies around the pit; Lies and disrespect

And feeding me all of your stories.

I'm famished,

Standing at the edge while walking on a thin tightrope,

Just settle slow tilts

Rocky motions doesn't cause fear but losing you created it,

And I bet you wouldn't even know.

Life as we know it is on the edge

But with just one more push the tables will finally turn,

You gave me the initial wound,

But with this next one I'll put...

I wonder if you'll feel love.

[spokenwithwords]

The Difference is the Differences ☻

We live on the edge of life

Following the rules of contradictions,

Self inflicted wounds - healing ourselves with stitches

Marked with the curse of riddance

It's hidden

Disguised with thick smiles and personalities that seem pretentious

While telling everybody "I'm not the same, I'm different"

What's different?

You faking the funk.

Your smell, covered in layers of febreeze...

What's wrong with the natural scent?

But you preferred the absence of it.

Vast majority of your presence revolved around absence

When you spoke, it was absent

Your manners, it was absent

Your touch, it was Absent

Even your time with me was absent,

And then you wonder why I laugh

When I think back at the precious moments we once had

That went. Like. THAT!

But all was not missing

Some of your presence actually still existed.

In a battle of wits, you would always win,

Not because you were smarter but because you had that look

And a smile that could change my mind,

You had a touch that could set ablaze tiny amoebas across my body,

Even one of your many talents, you could charm a snake... with just a simple whisper.

Once succumbed to these unimaginable things, I now see what's hidden

These thoughts screamed elegance

But the true purpose was your actions,

It was malevolent.

Even your looks, your smile, or even your absence couldn't cover the smell of this,

That scent, disguised as a warm hearted human being;

Conveyed lines that define the very essence of our relationship,

That scent, voyaged my journey to a place I've never been;

Showed me the finer things in life,

Yet that same scent, lead me through a path of deceitfulness,

The wickedness of your ways has seen light which fell victim to you.

I am Damned,

CURSED by the remembrance of the on-going betrayal,

I was blinded by the false scent that only showed

What my eyes have been wanting to see.

I wanted to seek differences

But this is not what I anticipated,

Your differences is riddance...

That's what's different