yesterday my first table at work was 4 complete shitholes who yelled at me twice before i even took their food order and almost made me cry. before they ate, they all bowed their heads to pray.
so on the top of their receipt i wrote “hebrews 13:2″ and they went WILD. they LOVED IT. they tipped me over 20% for my “education fund”.
hebrews 13:2 is “do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it”, and i really hope they got home and looked it up and realized that i am, in fact, a petty fucking bitch
you wanna talk about stress? you wanna talk about stress? i’ve just stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, mac. how’s that for stress? this company is being bled like a stuck pig, mac, and i got a paper trail to prove it. check this out. take a look at this. that right there is the mail, now, let’s talk about the mail. can we talk about the mail? please, mac? i’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? pepe silvia. this name keeps coming up over and over again. every day, pepe’s mail is getting sent back to me. i look in the mail. this whole box is pepe silvia. so i say to myself, i gotta find this guy. i gotta go up to his office. i gotta put the guy’s mail in the guy’s god damn hands, otherwise he’s never gonna get it. it’s gonna keep coming back down here. so i go up to pepe’s office, and what. do. i. find. out? what do i find out? there is no pepe silvia. the man does not exist. so i decide, ohhh shit, buddy, i gotta dig a little deeper. there’s no pepe silvia? you gotta be kidding me? i got boxes full of pepe! all right, so i start marching my way down to carol in HR, and knock on her door and i say Caaaaaaaarol, Caaaaaaaarol, i gotta talk to you about pepe! and when i open the door, what do i find? there’s not a single goddamn desk in that office there is. no. carol. in. h. r. mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. this office is a goddamn ghost town.
Though they wouldn't have recognized the word transgender, hundreds of women dressed as men to fight in the War Between the States. And some lived as men afterwards.
This post has been updated to reflect the military’s reaction to President Trump’s transgender ban.
Albert Cashier served in the army as a man, lived his life as man and was buried at 71 with full military honors in 1915, as a man. But beneath the uniform in which he fought and was buried, he was biologically a woman, one of the many cross-dressers and gender defiers who have served in the U.S. military since the earliest days of its history, according to historians.
President Trump’s proclamation by tweet Wednesday that he was banning transgender people from serving in the military in “any capacity” is the latest twist in a thoroughly modern controversy. Trump’s declaration would overturn a policy only recently put in place by the Obama White House as the armed forces continue to grapple with modern issues of gender identity and sexual orientation. Caught off guard by the sudden shift, Gen. Joseph F. Dunford Jr., the chairman of the Joints Chiefs of Staff, told military leaders Thursday: “There will be no modifications to the current policy until the President’s direction has been received by the Secretary of Defense and the Secretary has issued implementation guidance.”
But behind the 21st century contretemps is a history that predates the musket.
“They wouldn’t know what in the world you meant by the world transgender, but there have women serving in men’s dress in armies since the beginning of wars,” said Elizabeth Leonard, a professor of history at Colby College. “It’s a story that we keep losing sight of.”
[Women soldiers fought, bled and died in the Civil War, then were forgotten]
Cross-dressing has roiled the ranks of armies at least as far back as Joan of Arc, the 15th century military genius who was burned at the stake for heresies that included wearing a man’s uniforms. Leonard’s own expertise is the Civil War, a time when the ranks were filled with hundreds of women who cut their hair, put on pants and took up arms on both sides of the War Between the States.
Researchers at the National Archives have found evidence that at least 250 women dressed as men to fight in the 1860s, some motivated by ideology, some by a taste for adventure and some by the need for a job. Most of those who survived presumably returned to their lives as women. But others continued to live as men after the war.
Albert Cashier was born Jennie Hodgers in Ireland, immigrated to the United States as a stowaway and, at 18, enlisted in the Illinois Infantry Regiment as a man. After the war, in which he fought in some 40 actions, Cashier continued to dress in trousers and, in the modern parlance, identify as a man. He worked as a farmer and handyman for decades and missed out an army pension after refusing to take a required physical exam, according to scholar Jason Cromwell, the author of “Transmen and FTMs: Identities, Bodies, Genders and Sexualities.”
Cashier’s anatomical secret only came out after he was injured in a 1911 car wreck and treated by doctors. He was committed to an insane asylum but when his story was reported in newspapers, his former army comrades rallied to ensure he was buried as a soldier and recognized on a monument at Vicksburg as one of the Illinois soldiers who fought there.
Sarah Rosetta Wakeman was driven by poverty to work as a male canal boatman and then sign up with a New York unit to fight for the Union Army. The teenage girl passed as a 21-year-old man named Lyon Wakeman and bagged a $154 signing bounty. Recruits were not always closely examined, Leonard said, particularly toward the end of the war when armies on both sides were desperate for “men” of any kind. Among boys barely past puberty, the smooth face of a female impostor could easily have passed without remark.
“If you had teeth to tear open a cartridge and a working thumb and forefinger, that was enough,” Leonard said.
Wakeman died in New Orleans of dysentery after the Red River Campaign and was buried under a stone monument to “Lyon Wakeman.”
In addition to women who concealed their true gender, others created their own. Leonard’s favorite example is Mary Edwards Walker, a New York physician who served as the only woman surgeon for the Union Army.
During a remarkable career (which included being arrested as a spy for treating the wounded behind enemy lines), Walker never claimed to be a man, but she insisted against all custom on dressing as one. She was known as the Little Lady in Pants in her army years, and she adopted more masculine garb as time went on. By the end of her life, she wore a top hat and tails.
That proved even more controversial than the cross-dressers who completely adopted a male/soldier identity, who were often hailed as heroes when their story was uncovered.
“People tended to celebrate the courage of the women who cut their hair and passed as men,” Leonard said. “But they had no idea what to do with Mary Walker. She really was the precursor for the idea of ‘I am just going to be who I am.’”
‘Leaking Sure Is Cool, Huh, Guys?’ Says Disguised John Kelly To White House Aides
WASHINGTON—Straightening his synthetic wig before casually approaching a nearby lunch table, a disguised Chief of Staff John Kelly reportedly set down his tray, pulled over a chair, and said “Leaking sure is cool, huh, guys?” to a group of White House aides dining in the West Wing commissary Tuesday. “Anybody else just love leaking information to the press, or have any fun leaking stories they want to tell? It’s totally cool if you do; everybody’s doing it,” said Kelly, who then asked the group what their “absolute favorite things to leak” were before taking a bite of his sandwich and intently observing the staffers’ reactions from behind his prop glasses. “I was thinking about getting a group together to hang out and do some leaking this afternoon. How about it? Who’s game for a couple of brewskies and calling the New York Times to share confidential information about the president on condition of anonymity? I’m buying!” As of press time, more than half a dozen newspapers had printed accounts from unnamed White House sources alleging that Kelly was already succumbing to the pressures of overseeing the Trump administration and likely wouldn’t last much longer in his role.
tangentwithtanner
snowghoul
kaledo-art
dededos
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
stormborns
