I lost a great friend, co-worker and someone I looked on as a little brother last Tuesday, April 18th.
He joined our work crew a couple of years back, this tall, lanky boyish guy who from the start worked his way into our hearts with his playfulness as well as a talent for what he did. Not only was he a wiz at his job, but everyone he met at work immediately became a friend. We used to tease him about the women who would often bring him food. Women loved him, guys wanted to be like him.
He had no parents, losing them when he was a teen. He’d been raised by uncles and family friends. When I met him he had 3 sons. He’d had them all by his young 20′s. He adored them.
In 2016, Fall I believe, he facilitated a class of new employees and in that class was a single mother who’d lost her first husband in a tragic accident. By the start of 2017 they’d become so close that she left our company because of the employee/mentor rule. They moved in together and in February 2017 married. They were now a family of 4 sons and he had that stable family he always craved.
in mid March he and another person on our team learned they were being sent out from Reno to Florida to train a new class of employees. He had the time of his life there. He got to feed alligators, drive a Daytona simulation, hit up the best restaurants, went to the beaches, and so much more.
He came back to Reno and took Monday off to recuperate. When he came into the office on the 18th, I high-fived him and we all told him how much we missed him. He always came in and said “hello my beautiful people!”
Our team leader called me that day from an out of town business trip and asked how the team was doing and especially him. I said he looked tired, but that was expected when you just came back to pacific time after 4 weeks on eastern time. He was busy going through emails and getting caught up on what was going on at our site.
Later that day we sat and talked about how excited he was that his new wife had their 5th child on the way. I said “with a house full of testosterone I bet your wife would love a little girl”. He said it was him who would love to have a daughter but he was happy either way. When I left work that day, the last one to see him alive there, I said see you tomorrow and “I’m so glad you’re back”.
Later on at home, our local news station who I follow on Facebook said a road was closed because of a fatal accident between a motorcycle and a truck. I don’t know why but I got this sinking feeling in my chest. A city of about 237,000 and still I froze in my seat. An hour later on Facebook I saw he and some other person “were now friends on Facebook”. The way it announces it to everyone. I breathed a sigh of relief. 15 minutes later someone came online and told our team that it was him, they he had been the one in the accident and didn’t make it.
One thing I always wanted to warn him about, but didn’t want to be “that guy” was his love of his motorcycle, his love of speeding and his new bike club he joined. He was doing what he loved, but I’ve lost others that way.
They said he was going down the road with a few from his bike club when in a bad decision he accelerated a bit too much, just as a huge truck was making a u-turn. He died instantly they said. I believe it because his bike was now nothing but tiny pieces.
I feel for his wife, a child on the way and twice a widow now. His children who he always mad a fuss over and loved deeply. The lost potential as I am sure he would have continued his meteoric rise at our company. The little brother I lost.
Add this to the depression and anxiety that I have been treated for, for a long time and this has not been a good time for me either. I didn’t attend the memorial his bike club through yesterday, nor will I attend his service today at the patio of a local restaurant. I wonder how cold and uncaring I might look, but I am trying to keep my demons at bay. My lady understands and agrees I need to do what I can to keep my sanity. It took my depression and drove it down into someplace scary where dark thoughts play.
I love you little brother, I will never forget you and I will take part of you with me till the day comes I can see you again.
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