spencer porter

Spencer Porter. 20. Porter. If you're here it's probably 'cause you've seen me hauling your bags at the Hotel McIntosh and you want to score some tail. Tough luck. You only get tickets to the Porter Gun Show if you tip well, and you've got a good face. And you've got to be a dude. Sorry, ladies. I'm freaking stuck in this hellhole but I'm not staying in Lima forever. Take a gander while you still can.

[biff-mcintosh-a]

Oh, I see. Well in that case, my sincerest apologies for failing to properly comprehend your initial quip. That may not actually be half a bad idea. I know of at least one employee who was practically coughing it up last week. I suppose there wouldn’t be too much harm in seeing it for myself. Is there anywhere in-town that I could look into paintballing?

[sporterporter-blog]

It’s cool. My jokes are an acquired taste. Coughing it up? Were they swallowing the glitter? Nah. Lima sucks, you have to go out of town for paintball. If there were one here, I’d be there all the time.

[dpkarofskyak-blog]

I was down for my uncle marrying anyone guy or girl, just not Adam. But what’s done is done.

No problem, i’m sure they’d appreciate it just as much as you would.

[sporterporter-blog]

Why? Did you have a thing for him or something? If so, that freaking sucks for you, man. That’s some Degrassi crap. 

Really? Any chance you have their deets? C’mon, help a bro out. 

[puckjakerman-deactivated2016020]

Probably, man. But no, I guess I’m not much of a tv guy. I’m too lazy to keep up with shows for more than a season. 

Noted. I usually don’t need the netflix to get a girl to chill with me but, I’ll remember that.

[sporterporter-blog]

That’s fair, I guess. Friends has a ton of seasons, it was around for a freaking while. What do you do instead of watching TV?

Yea, sure. 

[vamptana]

It’s all good now, blondie. And it just depends, the people who look up to me usually do. No, you don’t want to skip the parade, it’s awesome. 

[sporterporter-blog]

People who look up to you? Alright. What goes down on the parade? Can’t be that great.

[puckjakerman-deactivated2016020]

So, I know this will surprise a few people…but I’ve finally decided to watch ‘Friends’ for the first time. I got tired of netflix suggesting me to watch it every time, so I figured why not see what the big deal is all about.

[sporterporter-blog]

Have you been living under a rock? That’s show’s a classic, not to mention pretty old. It’s great for Netlfix and chilling. 

[vamptana]

Who knew that a bad strain of the flu could turn into pneumonia and leave me in a hospital for a week…? Anyway, no need to be alarmed, Auntie Tana is back with a never ending parade of bitchiness and sexy coming your way. 

[sporterporter-blog]

That sucks. Do you actually expect people to call you Auntie Tana? If so I’d kind of like to skip the parade, no offense. 

[dpkarofskyak-blog]

Who knows, the moment I realized they were really a thing, then I kind of stopped going too much into things. Well it’s named after Biff, but McIntosh is also a name for an apple.

When i’m speaking to my uncle and Adam again, I’ll be sure to ask to see if they’re going to be around again.

[sporterporter-blog]

You don’t approve of their marriage? That’s cool, I guess. 

Sounds rough. I appreciate the heads up though. I’d owe you one. 

[sporterporter-blog]

hotelier-mcintosh:

You sound as though you were expecting something else besides his laryngeal prominence. I can see the appeal of aiming the glitter at other individuals - of course granted that it’s not in someone’s face. It’s truly bizarre (and slightly frightening) how many employees actually like glitter. Paintball? I’m not the most familiar with the activity, but don’t the little pellets hurt on impact?

I was making a joke about his...never mind. I shot it in someone’s hair, which was pretty funny. Yea, true. You should have some kind of glitter rehab for those who need it. Yea, but that’s half the fun. No pain, no gain.

[sugardcugh]

They’re shiny. Like your head.

[sporterporter-blog]

My head isn’t shiny. You seem to be really into my head though, considering how much you bring it up. 

[dpkarofskyak-blog]

Apparently both of them have a thing for apples. Guess I should have seen that coming. It was a bit weird having to do everything with apple, especially trying to incorparte apples into whatever. For working at a hotel with the same name as an apple, it was weird that that was the first time i’ve seen so much apple. 

There were plenty of gay guys there though. I know my uncle invited a couple of people, including a couple. Who knows about them though if they would have done anything..

[sporterporter-blog]

That’s a pretty weird thing to have a thing for, but to each his own, I guess. This place is named after an apple? I thought it was named after Biff?

I got caught up in all the flying glitter. Kind of pissed I missed out on a possible threesome.

[blaineatscandals-blog]

I don’t know I was just saying a example  to be honest. True not everyone, but when you meet the right person you got to go long with it or compromise it. 

[sporterporter-blog]

I don’t know. You kind of seem like the type to have a strawberry wedding. You brought it up. Sure, man. Whatever you say.

[biff-mcintosh-a]

Nor would I expect you to be willing to engage in discussion regarding Mr. Crawford’s neck. Of all topics, that would be… Ridiculous to say the least. Well, you utilized the term “score,” which is typically in reference of “acquiring points.” I felt the substitution appropriate enough. My apologies that your goals weren’t met, instead being substituted by an awful load of glitter.

[sporterporter-blog]

Neck. Right, that would be pretty ridiculous. It’s cool, the glitter was kind of annoying, but it was fun to shoot at people. Never thought I’d be able to do that at work. Next event I suggest a paintball war, that way I can take everyone down and it won’t be sparkley. 

[danihpr-blog]

I’m confident that the inspiration was taking from a Vampire Diaries fanfic.

[sporterporter-blog]

You mean that lame show about all the gay vampires? People spend time writing things based off of that? Why? That show freakin’ sucks. 

[biff-mcintosh-a]

If I’m not mistaken, I believe part of the obsession with apples could be one of Mr. Crawford’s jokes. His name, being Adam, and the body part referred to as “Adam’s apple.” That and, of course, the story of Adam and Eve. Odd humor aside, I hope that your efforts to ‘acquire tails’ was of decent success.

[sporterporter-blog]

I thought this conversation was taking a really different turn when you mentioned a body part. You’re pretty cool, Biff, but I don’t think I’m ready to talk about Adam’s apple with you. Acquire tails? It wasn’t as successful as I was hoping, but every player has his off days. 

[blaineatscandals-blog]

Maybe people like Apples for fun. Like maybe someone else would like a strawberry wedding.  I’m not sure about the scoring. 

[sporterporter-blog]

A strawberry wedding? I don’t want to meet that person. That’s fine, wasn’t expecting you to, man. Not everyone’s got it like that. 

[sporterporter-blog]

I can’t believe this wedding’s theme is actually apples. What’s so romantic about apples? Eh, whatever. Hopefully I’ll be able to score some tail, weddings are good for that, right? And this wedding’s pretty gay there’s got to be a few lonely dudes around.