l a d e v o t e e

v i c t o r i o u s Dani Harper, 24, performer. My hair colour changes weekly but my rad personality is here to stay forever, I promise. Brendon Urie is my future husband. Derek Theler's biceps are my sexuality. In a summary: I like halluncinogenics, singing and sex. And pizza. And skateboarding. And cocktails. And pizza. Dani's hair colour depends on Demi gifs used FYI.

[itsfinnhudscn-blog]

Oh… that sounds like a crime actually I have a food baby.

[danihpr-blog]

...in your pants?

[itsfinnhudscn-blog]

Okay, it’s a deal, I’ll tell my mom I’m a stripper. She’ll probably be proud I mean it is better than a janitor/bouncer.

[danihpr-blog]

The tips, man. Think about the tips. Imagine how good your junk would look in tiny briefs.

[itsfinnhudscn-blog]

I can’t wait to tell my mom! She’ll be so proud!

[danihpr-blog]

I’ll video it.

[scandalous-tee-blog]

What in the world have I missed?

I feel like I’ve been disconnected from society for ages… I mean, I’ve been here but I have no idea what’s been happening?

[danihpr-blog]

The Hangover IV. AKA, disappointment.

[sporterporter-blog]

I can’t believe this wedding’s theme is actually apples. What’s so romantic about apples? Eh, whatever. Hopefully I’ll be able to score some tail, weddings are good for that, right? And this wedding’s pretty gay there’s got to be a few lonely dudes around.

[danihpr-blog]

I’m confident that the inspiration was taking from a Vampire Diaries fanfic.

[itsfinnhudscn-blog]

I am officially finding glitter in places where glitter should not be. At least I had fun though. 

[danihpr-blog]

You’re officially a stripper!

[waitressfabray-blog]

SO much glitter! I don’t know what I’m going to do. Happy Sunday everyone, I’ll be practicing kicking butt!

[danihpr-blog]

Decorate.

[biff-mcintosh-a]

They’re faring quite well, although thank you for your concern. Some of them are fairly silly! In certain cases, you’re better off being direct with what you want.

[danihpr-blog]

Where’s the fun in that? Sexual innuendos tend to be wonderful conversation starters-- or hook ups, depending on your interest.

[pennyxowens-archive]

Well, obviously if they let you sing that for a half hour… 

[danihpr-blog]

I’m currently compiling a list of experiments; next up -- the Funny Bones song.

[biff-mcintosh-a]

They’re faring quite well, although thank you for your concern. Some of them are fairly silly! In certain cases, you’re better off being direct with what you want.

[danihpr-blog]

God bless, you’re adorable.

[biff-mcintosh-a]

They always did say that looks can be deceiving. Google can be quite misleading; I was once had to figure out the meaning behind a sexual innuendo and was directed to an arms dealer.

[danihpr-blog]

If you had to Google a sexual innuendo i’m concerned for your balls.

[biff-mcintosh-a]

“Richie Rich”? That isn’t the one with the investigative team and their talking dog, is it?…

[danihpr-blog]

I mean, I thought it was about some rich kid with a rollercoaster is his back garden, but i’ve only seen the movie, and then I was too busy wondering how a child can look like a cocaine addict. Google is your friend.

[sugardcugh]

If I don’t do something about it then it won’t go away. You want your tables cleared with a side of man junk?

[danihpr-blog]

Well, I mean there’d be methods of cleaning it, but it’d probably be easier to blow your load straight into it.

[scandalous-sugarmotta]

I’m just saying maybe you could give some private shows so I know for sure.

[danihpr-blog]

Give me a time and place, i’ll be sure to put on my best performance.

[pennyxowens-archive]

That seems like an awful waste of time…

[danihpr-blog]

They weren’t complaining.

[sugardcugh]

I still like to toot my own horn, at least once a day.

[danihpr-blog]

Not all of us wake up with brass ready to be played first thing in the morning.

[scandalous-sugarmotta]

Listen, babe, I’m not sayin’ your bad at your job I’m saying that maybe you could use a big more Sugar.

[danihpr-blog]

Are you sayin’ this ass ain’t doing it’s job?