rustyjohnmartinâ:
John tensed at the name. Of course, he remembered. Jamie Tucker had been his girlfriend at the time. Right up until the moment that Will had shown up and interrupted their necking in the hayloft. John still hated himself for their first kiss to have someone elseâs taste on his mouth, but thatâs how it went with him, right? Will had always been the standby. The one he protected but didnât let inside at least not until that night. âI canât go back, Will,â John said with a huffing sigh as he straightened his hat on his knee. âIâll be your friend, but I canât pretend all those years didnât happen, the good. the bad, and the downright ugly.â He ran his tongue over his lower lip and lifted his gaze. âYa think we can do this? Beinâ friends?â He stopped himself there and swallowed hard. Who was he kidding? Heâd wanted Will to come home to him every moment since heâd left. John could never be âjust friendsâ and survive. He was willing to try but he already knew heâd fail miserably. He couldnât pretend he did love Will with more fire than heâd ever felt for another human being. Of course, heâd tried to move on, but itâd never worked. He might as well be celibate if not for his common need for sex. Nothing ever came of those one-night stands, though. He just couldnât do it. Not to Will. Not again.
âI... We donât have to pretend,â Will said. Truly, he didnât even know if heâd ever be able to leave their past firmly in the past. He thought there might always be a part of him that wanted John. But not having him in his life at all was worse. He had tried to forget about all of it, but there was no way to get John out of his head. He had to try something new, and he could only hope that John agreed. âWe did it before,â he offered in response to Johnâs question with a little shrug of his shoulders, a small but hopeful smile. âIt... You know, itâll probably be an adjustment, but I think itâs worth a try,â he said. He suddenly needed something to do with his hands, and he wasnât about to start fidgeting with Johnâs gift. The last thing he needed was to drop it and break something else that the two of them had shared. Gingerly setting it down, he reached over to take a sip of his coffee. âWhat do you think?â he asked when he put it down once again. That was the moment of truth. John had said all of these things, but none of what heâd said to him in the past week was enough to predict his response to this particular question. Will had once known him like the back of his hand, and now he couldnât even do it.Â
















