May 15
People who get angry and yell when things go wrong drive me crazy. Why are you yelling at me. Tf am I supposed to do.
#it’s been actually the worst year over and I’ve just kinda been trying to pretend it’s not bc i simply just don’t want to dwell on things#I just want it to be over and get better#but like the other day my dog had to have surgery and this morning his stitches were bleeding. so I’m like hey dad drive us to the vet pls#so he does and we go and everything is fine but on the way back my dog poops in my dads car. immediately I’m like oh no. dw ill clean it#my dad starts RAGING calling my dog stupid yelling at me that I should’ve let him go potty before getting in the car (I did but go off)#mind you my dog has stomach issues and he’s on two pain meds that cause stomach upset rn AND he was anxious. and. sometimes animals poop.#I had already said I would clean it but we get to the house my dads still mad he tells me dont touch anything and he will clean it#mind you I had been ignoring him. I won’t argue with someone who won’t let me talk. also ASL arguments shouldn’t be had while one person is#driving. so anyway whatever I’m already holding back tears. not so much from him yelling at me. mostly bc this was the straw that broke the#camels back. when I tell you it has been a HORRIBLE year so far I’ve just been trying so hard to ignore it#so I go to the park to get the kids I nanny from my brother (their parents agreed to let him watch them for me for a bit so I could run the#dog to the vet) and my brother. having seen my dad was angry. asks me what happened. and ykno how like when you’re trying not to cry and#someone asks you what’s wrong or what happened and immediately you burst into tears. that. but I didn’t want the kids to see so I just s#stared at a tree until I could will myself to stop crying. and then I just ignore it. I ignore it all day.#my brother told my parents that my dad had made me cry. my dad did not care. my mom told him he needs to apologize. he refuses and claims he#has nothing to apologize for. and honestly whatever I don’t want the apology if you were told to give it to me#but here’s the real kicker. my brother told me what he said after he went back in the house this morning#I kid you not word for word my dad yelled ‘why do good dogs die when pieces of shit like this get to live’#referring to his dog we recently lost to brain cancer and my dog who’s unwell right now#genuinely I was planning on just moving past all of this. I’m not one to hold a grudge or expect apologies or anything#but I fear that’s probably one of the most unforgivable things a person could say#this dog is my everything. he’s so important to me. my dad basically wished death on him. wished HE had gotten brain cancer#mind you when his dog was sick I did everything. I did his medicine I help him go potty I SPOON FED his dog his dinner#I paid NINE THOUSAND dollars for his dog. I completely killed my credit and put myself nine thousand dollars in debt for him and his dog#but my dog deserves to die bc he pooped in a car#right.#jc shut up#I feel the need to add that I don’t regret any of what I did for his dog#and I would do it again any day. I loved that dog. I don’t ignore and push away dogs bc they’re not mine. every dog in this house#are probably the most important thing in the world to me.
