i love love and i love the idea of letting go of a hierarchy of care in which monogamous romantic love is put above everything else. living in systems which so aggressively want to make us believe that individualism and exclusivity stand above community makes us so vulnerable and prone to shame and loneliness, and so much less likely to stand up against oppression, violence, and a system that wants to bleed us dry from our first to last breath. my neurodivergent brain has never made it easy for me to navigate friend groups, social events, or to build any kind of sustainable community. it is no coincidence that the people in my paintings exist mostly in a state of disconnect, often barely tethered to the earth. but once in a while i am among friends, deep in conversation, in tears over the state of the world, with an arm around a shoulder in a moment of crisis, or belly laughing into the air between us, and i take a breather to think: to share space and time with people who care so deeply for each other and me, and i for them, and to acknowledge how special and deeply good and deeply neccessary and human this is, always, and especially now, makes me feel stunned how anybody could think this is worth less than what we branded as "romance". there are very good people out there. some i see almost every day, some i see every other week, some i see every four months, some i don't see in person for years. some i meet in forests, some in cafés, some in their houses, some i send postcards to, some i talk to on the phone. they all have a profound impact on who i am, how i move through this world, and how my work impacts others. occasionally, i cannot bear the thought that they will not live forever. within this thought, i know we all live forever through each other. i love them all very much.
