Squibstress

Just a babbling bumbling band of baboons writing Harry Potter fic.

[etl-echo-audiobooks]

Postscript by @squibstress

Happy International Women's Day!!!

In celebration, please enjoy Minerva McGonagall letting her hair down at a sex club ... This story definitely passes the Bechdel test - the only man in the story is dear Neville. Give it a listen!!!

Postscript by @squibstress Rating: E Pairings: Amelia Bones x Minerva McGonagall, Minerva McGongall x Rolanda Hooch Summary:

Headmaster and Mrs Longbottom stumble on the late Headmistress's diary.

Listen now on AO3

[squibstress]

Ficlet: A Not-So-Rough Wooing

.@malbusfest

A little bêtise for the Malbus February 2026 Fest and feast of St Valentine.

Rated T/PG-13-ish

The first clue was the music.

She couldn’t quite make out what it was, but as she arrived at the top of the stairs, the unmistakable sound of music from a gramophone—her gramophone, to be precise, which Minerva always tried to be—swelled to fill the corridor.

She frowned.

Hurrying past the Gryffindor portrait hole, she sped towards her quarters, the sharp clicks of her heels on the stone a warning to any students who might be canoodling in the dark corners of Gryffindor Tower. When she gave the password and her door swung open, the tune clarified itself into the familiar strains of an old favourite, accompanied by the soft patter of rain against the windows.

Slowly, dramatically, soft light arose from a candelabra that sat on a small dining table, filling out the shadows in her sitting room.

Hands coming to her hips, she surveyed the scene in front of her. The table was laid with her mother’s Royal Scotland china and a set of crystal glasses. A silver bucket holding a bottle that she strongly suspected contained champagne sat at the side. The centre of the table held a small cake that explained the sweet scent of chocolate that perfumed the air.

Now, Minerva had no objection to Gershwin, nor to chocolate cake, and certainly not to champagne, but the three in combination skirted the borders of good taste and what’s more, they weren’t the only suspect thing in the room.

Her nose detected another scent above the chocolate. She used her wand to light the wall sconces, revealing its source. An abomination of flowers decorated nearly every flat surface—roses in every hue, including several she knew couldn’t be natural and whose gaudiness could only be attributed to one person.

She withheld the groan that had risen behind her lips and called out, “Albus?”

A large set of hands enveloped her waist and warm breath tickled the hairs at the back of her neck.

“Yes, my love?”

She turned in his arms as he shimmered back into visibility.

“What in the name of Merlin is all this?” she asked.

“It’s a little surprise for you.”

She pulled out of his embrace and glared at him.

“Albus, it’s been an exhausting day. I’ve spent it trying to get dozens of lovesick adolescents to pay bloody attention to their lessons rather than mooning around and sending badly written love notes to one another under their desks. Between Pomona, Horace, Filius, and myself, we’ve foiled seven attempts at surreptitious love-potion poisoning and missed one, requiring me to forcefully restrain Miss Chattergee and Mr Fleming from a completing a highly inappropriate and possibly illegal act on the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall during dinner. Why would you bring all this”—she gestured at the atrocity around her—“madness to my living quarters?”

“It’s a celebration, my dear.” He kissed her nose, and it was only her excellent control of her magic that kept her from transfiguring his lips into a pair of giant slugs.

With a patience that, in a just world, would have earned her at least an Order of Merlin, Third Class, she said, “You know I hate all this St Valentine’s Day nonsense. Really, Albus! Roses?” She huffed in indignation at the idea that he thought her a woman who wanted flowers and the like on what really should have been an ordinary Tuesday in February. They’d only just recovered from Christmas, after all.

He pulled his wand and waved it haphazardly around the room. The roses changed to pots of purple thistles.

“Perhaps this will please my spiky bride a bit better,” he said.

“Hmph.”

“Anyway, we aren’t celebrating St Valentine’s Day.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“Exactly what are we celebrating, then?”

“It is the six hundred and twenty-third anniversary of the Battle of—” he scratched his hairy chin—“something or other.”

“The what?”

“I can’t recall the name, but it was one of many important battles between our respective countries. If I recall correctly, Scotland put up a valiant resistance, but England prevailed in the end.”

“Why would I ever want to celebrate such a thing?”

“Academic purposes. You enjoy history. I thought we could have dessert, some champagne, and then we could reenact England’s invasion of Scotland.”

She couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped her at his leer. It really wasn’t his strong suit.

Flowers? Wine? Foolish attempts at double entendre? This was not their sort of foreplay. If he wanted her in the mood for romance, he’d have to do much better.

His grin faltered at her smile.

The next moment found him looking up at her, slobber dripping in stringy stalactites from his overly pronounced jaw.

He barked as she went to the table and poured herself a glass of champagne.

“While you work out how you’re going to reverse the transfiguration without a wand and opposable thumbs, I’ll just enjoy some of this.” She took a sip of the wine and sat at the table. “Mmm. Wonderful vintage.”

If a bark could ever be said to sound plaintive, his was. He stared over at her, making puppy eyes and emitting pathetic whines.

She ignored him and bent over the table inhaling deeply. The cake really did smell delicious. It would be a shame for it to go to waste. She hoped he’d work out the spell soon. But not too soon. He really did make an adorable bulldog.

[mmad-lover]

I’m not back ok I’m just sort of doodling when I can and I had to share it ok

[squibstress]

Britpickery for Americans: Random Stuff Whut I Have Got Wrong - Squibstress

If you’re an American writing fic set in Britain, you may have to deal with British money at some point.

[squibstress]

Epithalamium Revisited - Squibstress

I’ve just finished revising Epithalamium. Having recently completed the series with the end of Come Autumn, Sae Pensive, I thought it would

[squibstress]

Squibstress's Apologia Pro Ship Sua (Or: Why I Like Albus/Minerva) - Squibstress

Since @kudgaret invited me to particpate in "Malbus Week," I thought I'd do a post on what I find appealing about the much-maligned Albus/Mi

[squibstress]

Britpickery for Americans: British Currency - Squibstress

If you’re an American writing fic set in Britain, you may have to deal with British money at some point.

[squibstress]

Britpickery for Americans: British Medical System - Squibstress

One of the biggest mistakes Americans make when writing fic that brushes up against the British medical system is that, generally, British p

[squibstress]

Britpickery for Americans: British School System - Squibstress

Each country in the UK has its own system, but here I’m going to focus mostly on the English system, as this seems to be what Hogwarts is ba

[squibstress]

Britpickery for Americans: What is “British”? - Squibstress

Take everything I said about British English in my previous post, multiply the difficulties by ten, and you have British culture (from the n

[squibstress]

Britpickery for Harry Potter Fic (for Americans) - Squibstress

This is a discussion of things I use when I’m attempting to make my HP fic sound less glaringly American.

[squibstress]

What I’d Like to See in the New Harry Potter Series - Squibstress

What with the main cast (with the notable exception of Voldemort) now announced for the HBO Max Harry Potter extravaganza, I got to thinking

[squibstress]

How to Make a Style Sheet for Your Fic - Squibstress

A style sheet records the decisions you’ve made about your story so you don’t give Harry and Draco’s son black hair in chapter one and blond

[squibstress]

Paapa Essiedu Will Make a Good Snape, and Other Musings on Harry Potter Casting - Squibstress

Casting rumors abound for the upcoming HBO reboot of the Harry Potter series. I'm weighing on the casting and the fan reactions to the rumor

[squibstress]

As Minerva McGonagall settles in for her golden years as Headteacher—the drama of war and the distraction of romance both behind her at last

[danpuff-ao3]

Self-Recs 2024

A little self-rec list for what I wrote this year.

WIPs

smile with sweet surprise

Harry/Severus. Lily/Severus. Rated: E. Chapters: 4/5. Words: 17,760. Stepdad Snape. Pseudo incest. Infidelity.

Harry is barely sixteen. Had barely blown out his candle when Severus kissed him.

Wasted for Love

Harry/Severus. Hermione/Harry/Ron. Rated: E. Chapters: 9/25. Words: 25,435. Polyamory. Closed triad. Fidelity issues. Domestic bliss. Developing relationship. Angst & feels.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are living happily ever after 5 years after the war. That is until the Prince returns, and with him all of the turmoil and temptation from the past.

Sugar, Honey

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Chapters: 8/?. Words: 21,926. Sugar Daddy Harry. Sugar Baby Snape. Bottom Snape.

Severus Snape has been down on his luck since the war ended. Enter: Harry Potter. With no other causes to occupy his time, he makes Severus an offer he can't refuse; but Severus can't help but wonder: what is it the boy really wants?

Hopes of the Heart

Harriet/Severus. Rated: E. Chapters: 3/?. Words: 22,074. Female Harry Potter. Pregnancy. Angst. Student/teacher. Harriet Potter is busy her sixth year of Hogwarts. She has lessons and Quidditch and tasks and a war to fight. She's also pregnant.

Completed

Good Daddy

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 2,639. Daddy kink. Praise kink.

Severus is nice. Sometimes.

Heartstop Lollipop

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 400. Student/teacher. Valentine's Day.

Harry eats a lolly in class.

The Forbidden Fruit

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 7,060. Check AO3 for warnings.

Severus is obsessed with the Dark Lord's young heir.

The Whispers in Your Eyes

Harriet/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 15,703. Infidelity. Past underage. Past student/teacher. Angst. Dysfunctional relationships. Ambiguous/open ending. Female Harry.

Severus Snape wants revenge for his broken heart. Harriet Potter wants revenge for his revenge. Naturally, matters escalate.

The First Date

Harry/Severine. Rated: E. Words: 11,178. Female Severus. Blind date. First time.

Harry hasn't seen Severine Snape since the trials 7 years ago. Now, she's his date.

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

Hyacinth/Sulpicia. Rated: E. Words: 11,875. Female Harry. Female Snape. Hanahaki Disease. Language of flowers. Case fic.

There's an outbreak of Hanahaki, and Curse Breaker Hyacinth Potter is brought onto the case, to work closely with the Aurors and Unspeakable Sulpicia Snape. Snape doesn't have a romantic bone in her body, and Hyacinth is happily in love with Ginny Weasley. They have nothing to worry about...right?

Spellbound

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 1,315. Somnophilia. Infidelity.

Has anyone ever loved and hated anyone so deeply?

The Enemy's Bed

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 3,985. Student/teacher. Secret relationship.

Harry has Snape wrapped around his finger.

Guilty Pleasure

Harry/Severus. Rated: M. Chapters: 2/2. Words: 2,414. Hand & foot fetish.

Harry and Severus have a date night on Harry's sofa, and they keep their secrets to themselves.

Snowfall

Harry/Severus. Rated: M. Words: 2,433. Fluff & angst. Christmas.

Christmas at Spinner's End.

[mmad-lover]

Please do more mmad drawings!

👀

So I’ve had this idea for a while👀

👀Heh

[squibstress]

Love this!